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[1]
I’ve lost count of how many times Wang Shasha and her gang have caused trouble for me.
I pushed the door to the storage room, but it didn’t budge. I looked up at the sealed window and furrowed my brow.
Here we go again.
How many times has this happened this month?
I don’t know what I did to offend Wang Shasha, but she seems to see me as a thorn in her side.
I knocked hard on the door, hoping a kind-hearted student who occasionally passes by might open it for me.
The sound of girls chatting and laughing came from outside. I raised my voice in desperation.
But… no one came to help.
I suddenly remembered that Wang Shasha is a bully in our school. Who would dare to help me when she’s involved? So, I gradually gave up.
I turned around and sat on the cushion in the storage room, staring at the light coming through the high window, feeling dejected.
[2]
I finally figured out why Wang Sasa was targeting me.
It’s Wei Qi.
Wei Qi, Wang Shasha’s childhood friend, a smart yet frivolous playboy.
In my eyes, trampling on a girl’s feelings and treating love like a game is just being a playboy.
People like Wei Qi and Wang Shasha spend all their time playing meaningless love games, without caring about others at all.
I genuinely despise these two and don’t want to have anything to do with them.
But Wei Qi’s careless remarks once again provoked Wang Shasha.
When Wang Shasha, with her group of idle rich girls, dragged me into the bathroom, I knew I had reached my limit.
One hand pressed my head into the toilet, and then that voice I detested but couldn’t stop thinking about sounded.
At least at that moment, I didn’t realize that the owner of that voice would become increasingly important to me.
[3]
She said her name isn’t Shasha but Sasa.
What kind of scheme is Wang Shasha plotting now?
Trying to use a split personality to deliberately erase past sins?
No, for Wang Shasha, those aren’t sins but rather entertainment.
The person claiming to be Wang Shasha’s other personality said her name is Wang Sasa.
Does my face really look like it’s written with “fool” on it?
Otherwise, who would believe such absurd things?
She even deliberately tripped me in the classroom, making me embarrass myself. Placing mice in my shoe rack… claiming she’s not another person but doing the same things.
I’m convinced that Wang Shasha is treating me like a fool.
[4]
I was somewhat surprised when Wang Shasha spoke up for me.
Yu Xiaowen, another clown obsessed with Wei Qi.
Her tricks are much more sophisticated than Wang Shasha’s, but she’s still just a fool.
No matter how much she struggles, it’s just a waste of time.
However, Wang Shasha’s change in attitude towards Wei Qi surprised me.
But perhaps this could be explained as playing hard to get?
It’s none of my business anyway.
[5]
Wang Shasha is like an unshakeable nuisance! Whether I’m in the cafeteria or the classroom, she sticks to me no matter how coldly I act.
By the way, Wang Shasha’s academic performance is actually quite impressive.
Over the past month, Wang Shasha has changed a lot. Not only in her academic performance but also in other ways… I noticed she dyed her chestnut curls to straight black hair.
It actually looks a lot better.
[6]
Wait, how did she end up at my house? What does she want?
[7]
Even when I went to work to support my family, Wang Shasha followed me.
I was surprised to see that she was handing out flyers.
Although she still looked like an indifferent rich girl, she genuinely helped me.
She didn’t have to go this far.
Wearing a ridiculous vest and hat, sweating and standing in the sun to greet passersby.
She’s probably never been this embarrassed in her life.
And all this is for me.
She and Wang Shasha might really not be the same person.
Thinking back, I can’t recall the domineering and fierce side of Wang Shasha. Instead, I see the one in front of me, often with a proud expression, looking clever, but occasionally as clueless as can be.
She said her name is Wang Sasa, so I’ll take her word for it.
Seeing her so proud, I suddenly felt mischievous.
I shouldn’t let Wang Sasa get too complacent.
[8]
Yu Xiaowen and the others made me realize that Wang Sasa once liked Wei Qi so sincerely.
Maybe she still does.
I felt a surge of frustration.
Could she suddenly become the old Wang Shasha again?
[9]
Should I keep my distance from Wang Sasa?
Lately, I’ve been paying too much attention to her, which isn’t good for me.
[10]
Square dancing!!!
I never want to experience that again!
[11]
Wang Sasa actually warned Wei Qi not to make a move on me?
Her feelings for me…
[12]
I blushed. It’s definitely not because Wang Sasa held my hand.
It’s probably because of the competition, I was so nervous that my heart was racing.
I absolutely won’t admit that, at the moment she let go of my hand, I felt a brief sense of loss.
[13]
“Why did I come to this square dancing competition? Don’t you know?”
“I really want to be friends with you, whether you believe it or not.”
“Yixuan, do you like me?”
“No!”
Why do I remember this so clearly?
When I close my eyes, her words from the day seem to echo in my ears.
Sorry, I lied.
But I will never admit that I like you.
[14]
Only I know how my heart ached when I saw Wang Sasa and Wei Qi embracing each other.
Wang Sasa, you’re lying.
Why are you deceiving me?
Even if you told me you liked Wei Qi, it would be okay.
When I fell down the stairs, the world spun around me in an instant.
I was surprised at my own courage to ‘fall’ from such a high place.
The hallway wasn’t dark enough to obscure my steps, but occasionally missing a step and falling down the stairs is entirely possible, isn’t it?
No one doubted, including my grandmother.
I’m sorry.
I’ve just realized that I’m a despicable person.
But seeing Wang Sasa by my side gives me a strangely satisfying feeling.
Is this what they call hurting myself but making you suffer?
I’m glad.
Because for me, it’s a bargain.
So, I don’t regret it.
[15]
The roommates in Room 104 are a bunch of boring people and not worth paying attention to.
Wang Sasa, on the other hand, and Wei Qi… well, that’s a different story. After all, Wei Qi is Wang Shasha’s childhood friend; there’s no need for jealousy or envy since he was around long before I was.
Where did Li Songbo come from? Wang Sasa, you don’t have to be so nice to him.
After dealing with Wei Qi, did she turn to flatter other boys?
Why doesn’t she look back at me?
Sasa noticed I was angry, and I was surprised.
I thought my feelings were obvious.
But she thought I was jealous of her.
She’s really a fool…
[16]
Sasa has actually become my new roommate!
As deskmates, I already found it hard to hide my feelings. Now that we’re roommates, I inevitably gave myself away.
Being in the same room with someone I like, I can’t help but want to touch her.
Luckily, Sasa has a different way of thinking and understands things on another level.
So, she suddenly started interacting with me, which made me even more uncomfortable.
Does this mean I’m suspect of gaining an advantage and pretending to be coy?
[17]
“He said he likes me.” When these words came out of Sasa’s mouth, I was immediately shocked.
Sasa liked Wei Qi all along, didn’t she?
Now that Wei Qi admitted he likes her, will they…
I don’t dare to think too much because just imagining them together is unbearable.
I asked Sasa again about her feelings for Wei Qi, and she said they are just friends.
Just… friends?
I know you’re lying to me, so please keep lying.
[18]
I’m too pathetic. Even though I know she likes him, and she’s just being deceitful, I still want a guarantee. I hope they won’t end up together. I hope they never cross paths again.
But Sasa asked me back: What would happen if she and Wei Qi got together?
What would happen?
I think I’d probably collapse.
I don’t know when, but her place in my heart has become increasingly important.
Grandma often says I’m possessive and have heavy thoughts.
When I was little, I wouldn’t give away my favorite doll no matter who asked. If someone touched it, I’d twist off the doll’s head rather than give it away.
I know this might be a bit abnormal.
So, I’ve always been cautious about making friends.
But can I twist off Sasa’s head?
I can’t bear to.
Without her, there would be no other Wang Sasa like her in the world.
So maybe it wouldn’t be that bad?
[19]
I wore the clothes Sasa liked and fixed my bangs for our date, but… why did I run into Wei Qi?! That annoying guy!
[20]
I shouldn’t think like this. Sasa isn’t my possession. So, no matter who she likes, as long as I can always watch her, that’s not too bad, right?
[21]
Sasa’s lips are so soft…
[22]
Sasa said she’d help me, and I sighed.
Where did her thoughts wander off to?
Today had both happy and unhappy moments.
Sasa and I went on the Ferris wheel together.
She said it was something only people who like each other would do.
Sasa, please don’t like Wei Qi, okay?
[23]
Who are these newly appeared men and women? She always makes friends without any scruples. It’s so different from me.
I’m jealous.
Because Sasa gave me a hairpin, my mood lifted.
[24]
Wei Qi, that’s one thing, but Sasa has always been cold towards him.
But who is this Tian Youshan that suddenly appeared?
She’s chatting and laughing with Sasa, sharing common interests… It’s really irritating, the more I see, the more annoying it gets.
I’m far more important than her, aren’t I?
So, a little threat shouldn’t be a problem, right?
[25]
Today, Sasa suddenly brought up the topic of graduating from senior year.
I just realized that after graduation, we’ll go our separate ways, attend different universities, and live in different cities.
Can’t we stay together?
She said it’s okay even if we’re apart. I can make other friends.
But she doesn’t understand.
My world is small, it can only fit one person.
Her gaze always falls elsewhere. I often worry, afraid that one day she’ll go to a place I don’t know. What should I do then?
I’ll try hard to keep up with her. I just hope that when she thinks of me, she’ll look back at me once.
She says I’m like a cat—looking aloof but actually clingy and loves to be pampered. She says she likes me like this.
Actually, I do too. I like her, really like her.
But it can only be the kind of liking that a best friend has.
[26]
Sasa saw the portrait I drew of her.
Did she notice anything?
[27]
Wei Qi actually came to me to hand over a love letter. Has he lost his mind?
Why did he choose to let go initially? And now he’s trying to pursue Sasa again?
I instinctively wanted to tear up that annoying love letter but managed to hold myself back.
Sasa likes gentle people, and gentle people would never do something like this.
But since he gave the letter to me, to prevent Wei Qi from bringing up anything disgusting, I should screen it for Sasa. It’s no big deal.
Wei Qi sent letters for six days straight, and I endured the disgust for six days. I opened each letter, read it, and then sealed it back up, putting it deep in the bookshelf. I felt nauseous and jealous of the childhood stories Wei Qi shared with Sasa.
Even though I deeply know it’s another persona, everything related to Sasa makes me lose my rationality.
How can I allow her to have once loved someone else so passionately?
We agreed to only stand from afar and to only be the best of friends.
Today I realized, it was all self-deception.
I’m afraid Sasa will find out that I’m such a hypocritical and malicious person.
[28]
She discovered the letters I had hidden away.
But to protect me, she lied that she already knew about them and that she made me put them away on purpose.
Does this prove that I’m different to her?
But why does it still feel so unsettling?
[29]
One day, everything will be exposed.
She will know how disgusting I am, how I’m a girl who blushes and has a racing heart when touching her. She surely doesn’t know that I’ve privately imagined terrible things—imagining caresses, kisses, and even more intimate acts…
When she finds out everything, will she despise me and stay far away?