Chapter: 2 is a waste, a scumbag

Su Ai lived to be sixty-seven in her past life, accumulating assets worth over 10 billion. 

Everyone knew she was a self-made businesswoman, a legend in the business world despite lacking formal education.

She maintained a clean image, without a husband, children, or even any romantic rumors.  The media speculated endlessly, with many suggesting she was a lesbian.

However, unbeknownst to others, she had been married and had a child.  She carried the guilt of losing them, a burden she carried throughout her life.  She felt immense regret and always believed she had failed them.  She lived in a sea of remorse and regret, never escaping its depths.

Su Ai was born in Xiahecun, a small mountain village. Her parents had two children, Su Ai and her brother. Because of their preference for sons, they largely ignored Su Ai. 

This led her to develop a defiant and domineering personality, understanding that she needed to be assertive to get any attention from her parents. 

She found that fighting, misbehaving, and causing trouble garnered more attention, even if it meant being beaten or scolded. 

She convinced herself that this attention, however negative, proved her parents cared.

As Su Ai grew older, she became a notorious local troublemaker a female thug who drank, fought, and engaged in petty crimes alongside male delinquents.

Her reputation was so bad that no one in the village wanted to marry her. 

She didn’t want to marry either, as she secretly harbored feelings for Ji Yang, her current husband.

Ji Yang was a gentle man, the village doctor. Whenever Su Ai was injured in a fight, he would treat her wounds for free, never judging her.

He would gently advise her to stay away from trouble, his concern a stark contrast to the scorn of others.  His kindness was unlike anything she had experienced, and she fell in love with him.

Eventually, with encouragement from others, she essentially forced herself on Ji Yang.  Although social norms were less strict than before (no public shaming), refusing to marry Su Ai after what happened would have brought immense social repercussions for Ji Yang. Su Ai’s parents, seeing Ji Yang as relatively well-off, forced the marriage and received a substantial dowry.

Su Ai became pregnant from that single encounter. After marrying, Ji Yang hoped Su Ai would abandon her old ways and they could build a life together. With a child on the way, Su Ai needed to rest, and they initially enjoyed a blissful period.

However, Ji Yang never touched her. Initially, Su Ai thought it was because of her pregnancy, but even after giving birth, he remained distant. This frustrated her, making her feel looked down upon.  In her insecurity and bitterness, Su Ai resumed her old habits, going out with her friends.  Each time she did, Ji Yang grew colder.

His coldness only intensified her bad behavior. She tried to win his attention the same way she sought her parents’ attention.  But Ji Yang grew increasingly distant, once calling her irredeemable. The disdain in his eyes mirrored the contempt she received from others.

Their relationship deteriorated rapidly. Su Ai became increasingly demanding, yelling, and even showing resentment towards her child.  They became estranged.  Seeing Ji Yang’s disappointment, Su Ai reacted defensively, becoming more aggressive.  Their conflicts escalated.

One day, Su Ai got into a fight with someone who retaliated by attacking her. Ji Yang intervened, saving her, but in the process, Ji Yang’s leg was broken in February 1990.

Su Ai felt lost and avoided going home, yet desperately tried to find money for Ji Yang’s treatment.  Her only skill was gambling. 

She tried to win money playing cards but fell into a debt trap.  Unable to repay, she was threatened with the lives of her husband and child.

Ji Yang was Su Ai’s weakness.  She attacked the gang leader who threatened her family, severely injuring him.  The gang leader retaliated by killing Ji Yang and their child, Ji Lele.

Confronted with their bodies, Su Ai was devastated.  She finally realized that her cowardice, insecurity, and stubbornness had led to this tragedy. She loved Ji Yang and her child, but her past had left her unable to express that love.

She craved affection but simultaneously pushed it away.  She saw herself as a failure, a terrible person, irresponsible, impulsive, and ultimately responsible for her family’s deaths.

Su Ai managed to get the gang leader arrested and sent to prison, where he died.  She then left the village and moved to the city. 

There, she worked hard, first as a bodyguard and driver for a wealthy businessman, learning valuable skills. She saved money, started a small business, and eventually built a multi-billion dollar company.

Despite her wealth, she felt an emptiness, haunted by the ghosts of her deceased husband and child, unable to find peace. 

She prayed for a chance to go back and make amends, to give her family a stable life, to love them properly.

Through prayer and charitable work, she was reborn, finding herself holding her husband and son. 

She felt she had finally found happiness and peace. 

Her world felt complete.