Chapter 31

On the exquisitely crafted sofa in the restaurant sat a man in his early thirties.

The man’s features were quite handsome, but the lower half of his face was covered tightly by a disposable medical mask. He wore a black leather jacket, the leather peeling off in patches, half black and half dark gray where the outer layer had worn away, giving him the appearance of a patchy black bear.

Ye Chen was stunned: “…”

Is this patchy dress style popular among the big shots in the financial world?

…

In that instant, Ye Chen felt a sense of despair akin to meeting someone who seemed perfect online, only to find out they were far from it in person.

No way, there must be a mistake… Ye Chen mechanically averted his gaze, took a couple of steps back, and asked the waiter in a hushed tone, “Excuse me, are you sure you haven’t mixed up the rooms?”

Before the waiter could respond, the man waved at him and said, “It’s me, the one from WeChat.”

Ye Chen’s mouth twitched slightly: “…”

Behind him trailed a group of divine beasts, clearly visible to the man.

No way, divine beasts couldn’t possibly be this poor, there must be more to this. Pretend not to care for now… With a faint glimmer of hope, Ye Chen slowly approached, smiled, and said, “Excuse me, are you… Qian Someone from WeChat?”

As he got closer, Ye Chen noticed that the edges of the disposable medical mask worn by Qian Someone were frayed.

Ye Chen raised a hand to touch his own relatively new Antarctic Pure Cotton mask, feeling an odd sense of luxury.

“It’s me.” Qian Someone looked up, sized up Ye Chen for a moment, then glanced at the obedient divine beasts behind him, and muttered to himself with relief, “Indeed the new master of the Mountain and Sea Realm… Are you Qiongqi? Hahaha, are you Qiongqi?!”

Qiongqi Cub narrowed its eyes slightly, looking fierce.

Qian Someone chuckled: “Come here, let uncle pinch your cheeks.”

The Qiong Qi cub frowned and said coldly, “No, my Gege said to run as far away as possible when encountering weird people like you.”

Qian Someone burst into laughter.

“Don’t tease him.” Ye Chen hesitated before sitting down opposite Qian Someone, trying to discern his true appearance from the eyes visible above his mask.

He wasn’t very familiar with the financial world, but among the few big shots with the most fame or distinctive features, there was one whose name stood out. With a handsome face in his early thirties, Ye Chen could almost match it: “May I ask if you are Mr. Zhou Buchu…”

Zhou Buchu is a well-known financial tycoon in China. It is rumored that he is an orphan without parents, a poor boy with nothing to his name. Before he even turned thirty, he entered the world of finance at Mudi Business School as a top student and a second Generation rich, relying on his extraordinary talent and astonishing luck. His currently disclosed age is thirty-three, and he is unmarried and single.

His astonishing wealth, handsome appearance, and elegant demeanor have caused Zhou Buchu’s fame and popularity to skyrocket in recent years, to the point where even Ye Chen could recognize him with just a glance.

However, this supposed Zhou Buchu interrupted Ye Chen’s question, swiftly handing him a menu with lightning-fast speed and cutting him off, saying, “Just pick whatever you like, I’m not picky.”

Ye Chen’s eyes narrowed!

—While it’s understandable with familiar acquaintances, when dining with strangers, it’s generally expected that the host will take the lead in ordering, while the guests will modestly suggest a few dishes. At the very least, even if the host wants to give the guests free rein, they would still order one or two dishes as suggestions or provide a price range for the guests to choose from. Therefore, relinquishing one’s right to order entirely to someone else at a table full of strangers, without expressing any opinions, implies that this person… has no intention of footing the bill!

“We’re fine with anything,” Ye Chen smiled innocently and quickly handed back the menu as if it were scalding hot, “You’re the elder, so please go ahead and order.”

He emphasized the phrase “You’re the elder” heavily, trying to imply from the standpoint of age and experience that the other person should be the first choice for paying the bill.

“I’m just an old man,” the man who looked only in his early thirties chuckled and handed back the menu once again, “How would I know what you young folks like to eat?”

—He had actually cleverly turned the tables by using his disadvantage of age to gain an upper hand, a desperate survival strategy!

“…,” Ye Chen couldn’t help but feel a sense of encountering a worthy opponent.

The two moochers kept pushing back and forth, neither willing to make a decision, but there was a hidden edge to their words and actions. The six divine beast cubs looked at each other in confusion, not daring to make a sound.

Three minutes later, unable to resist the cunning tactics of the old fox, Ye Chen finally broke down, tugging at the worn-out sweater he was wearing for the “poor and pitiful” look, and asked from the bottom of his heart, “Do I look like someone who can afford to pay the bill?” As he spoke, he plucked a piece of down from the loose stitching of his old down jacket and let it float down onto the table, appealing to the other’s emotions, “My jacket is almost out of down, it’s barely holding together, uncle.”

Under the table, Qian Someone also extended his foot towards Ye Chen, deliberately wearing a pair of worn-out shoes for the “poor” look: “Take a look at my shoes, look at the soles coming off, once the soles come off, these ‘shoes’ will be left with just ‘leather’, give them a try.”

Ye Chen suddenly turned his head to look out the window: “…I won’t try!”

The oppressive silence at the table continued for about ten seconds. Suddenly, Ye Chen had a revelation, dispelling the layers of fog, and said, “Uncle, I understand… You’re pretending to be poor. You’re testing me, to see if I, as the new master of the Mountain and Sea Realm, have a pure and kind heart that is not moved by money, right?” Afraid of being denied, Ye Chen quickly added, “I’ve figured out who you are. You couldn’t possibly be short of money. You’re Mr. Zhou Buchu.”

Zhou Buchu chuckled, “You’re right, but you seem to have forgotten how you added me on WeChat.”

So how did I even add someone like Zhou Buchu… Ye Chen racked his brains trying to retrieve some memories related to Zhou Buchu, but to no avail.

Zhou Buchu then adopted a businesslike tone: “Hey, help me get a discount on this thermos.”

Zhou Buchu: “Hey, help me register for the cashback app. Just invite five friends to register, and you can get a hundred-yuan item for free.”

Ye Chen: “…” 

He recalled a certain… or rather, you could say a few WeChat close friends seemed to match Zhou Buchu’s WeChat account name.

During the time when Ye Chen was still shuttling between various film crews as an extra, there was a rising shopping app. The quality of the products was just so-so, all miscellaneous brands, but the prices were unbelievably cheap, and you could even ask WeChat friends to help bargain. Sometimes, with luck, you could even get something without spending a penny. At that time, Ye Chen was quite poor, not much better off than now. He joined a few WeChat bargaining groups and would spend his free time in those groups, bargaining with fellow group members. “You help me bargain for a thermos, and I’ll help you bargain for a down jacket.”

This WeChat account of Zhou Buchu’s was one that Ye Chen added when he was down and out two years ago. Zhou Buchu had a good reputation, with a somewhat businessman-like meticulousness, always bargaining honestly without deceiving others and running off after they had bargained. When Ye Chen invited him to help register for apps to get rebates and the like, he was also very willing. At that time, Ye Chen added quite a few friends who were into mutual bargaining and inviting each other to register for various obscure apps. Later, after becoming a contracted artist at Xinghan, he deleted a batch of friends. From what he could see now, he probably missed deleting Zhou Buchu’s alternate account.

But…

But!

Ye Chen was full of doubts, erupting like a volcano, and asked incredulously, “Are you really Mr. Zhou? Did you use an alternate WeChat account to join bargaining groups? Why?”

“Because,” Zhou Buchu calmly removed his disposable medical mask, which had been worn down to the fuzz, and smiled faintly, “I am a Pixiu^[1]Pixiu – is a Chinese mythical hybrid creature. Pixiu are considered powerful protectors of the souls of the dead, xian, and feng shui practitioners, and resemble strong, winged lions with the … Continue reading, only entering…”

Zhou Buchu: “But not exiting.”

Ye Chen suddenly saw the light.

Zhou Buchu, it turned out to be a homophone for Zhou Bu Chu^[2]*His names characters:  周(zhou) 步(bu – step) 初(chu – first). The homophone: 周(zhou) 不(bu – not) 出(chu – come out)!

Zhou Buchu gently placed the disposable medical mask on the table, and his careful placing technique made it seem like he would still wear the mask for another hundred years. “In your mortal terms, I’m a penny-pincher…” Afraid that Ye Chen wouldn’t believe him, he elaborated, “This medical mask was bummed off my former doctor five years ago, there’s a whole box of them, ten in total. I’m now on the third one. Based on the current rate of wear and tear, I can still use these free masks for another fifteen years.”

This was encountering the ancestor of all freeloaders… Ye Chen slumped on the sofa, feeling light-headed.

As if worried that Ye Chen wouldn’t understand him thoroughly, Zhou Buchu kindly explained, “I had a nickname in the previous dynasty, widely circulated among the common folk, and even written into novels by some. Even if you haven’t read it, you’ve definitely heard of it.”

Ye Chen sighed, “What… novel…”

Zhou Buchu smiled, 《Cock Crows At Midnight》^[3]There was a landlord named Zhou the exploiter, whose hired workers were about to finish their work, but he was unwilling to pay them their wages. So, he hid in the chicken coop in the middle of the … Continue reading, Zhou the exploiter.”

Ye Chen wanted to die.

“…Your time is so precious, I remember seeing online how much you can earn on average per minute.” Ye Chen opened his eyes, murmuring unwillingly, “The time you spent competing with me over who would foot the bill would be enough for you to earn a hundred times your meal money, right?”

“It’s different, it’s different.” Zhou Buchu shook his head vigorously, puckering his lips, “You’re not a Pixiu, you don’t understand the pain of spending money. Even if I earned ten billion in the previous second, spending ten yuan in the next is still like cutting my flesh.”

“But…” Ye Chen interjected.

Zhou Buchu interrupted sternly, “Forcing a Pixiu to spend money is like trying to put a duck on a shelf or chase a sow up a tree.”

Ye Chen: “…”

Zhou Buchu’s expression turned serious, “It’s inhumane and impossible.”

“But how could you possibly not spend money?” Ye Chen was puzzled, “To make money, you have to invest first…”

He stopped halfway through his sentence, suddenly choked up.

He remembered, Zhou Buchu worked as a financial consultant, analyzing the financial market with seasoned sharpness. Yet, he never invested real money himself, only relying on guiding other big shots from various industries on investment directions and profiting from it…

Seeing Ye Chen’s expression, Zhou Buchu knew that he had already figured it out, so he didn’t explain much. He just smiled faintly, indicating that Ye Chen’s unspoken guess was correct: “Money only comes into my account, not out.”

“But what about your daily expenses for clothing and meals?” Ye Chen asked.

Zhou Buchu collected the napkins on the table, each word powerful and resolute: “If no one invites me, I won’t eat!”

Ye Chen was shocked, “Do people invite you to meals every day?”

Zhou Buchu lamented until his facial features melted, “No, no one has invited me for over a month… My current status is almost unusable; my popularity is too low, and I’ve offended almost everyone I know. It’s time to transfer assets and change identities.”

“So you haven’t eaten anything in a month?” Ye Chen could hardly believe his ears.

“I go to supermarkets for free samples.” Zhou Buchu looked stingy, “Wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, no mask, I have to show my mouth.”

Ye Chen felt dizzy, gritting his teeth, “I wouldn’t even go to a supermarket for free samples! It’s too undignified!”

Zhou Buchu: “…”

After a while, Ye Chen asked curiously, “Then can you eat enough? You can’t just target one supermarket for samples; you have to go to ones far from home. What about transportation costs?”

“What transportation costs? I can fly; I don’t even have a car.” Zhou Buchu rubbed his belly, “Not eating enough is no problem; I’m a divine beast. I can survive half a year without food; I just need to eat more at the next meal.”

Having a stomach that’s freely controllable, it’s every freeloader’s dream.

While silently envying, Ye Chen recalled Zhou Buchu’s image as a diamond bachelor in public and asked, “So where do you get the clothes you usually wear when you go out?”

Zhou Buchu smiled proudly, “In order to avoid spending money on clothes, I worked as an apprentice tailor in my earlier years, making whatever I wanted to wear… When others asked me, I even said they were specially made by a tailor, to save face.”

No one could have expected that the tailor in the mouth of the financial titan Zhou Buchu was actually himself…

In addition to feeling a sense of respect, Ye Chen couldn’t help but reflect on whether he was spending too extravagantly now: “You’re even… I just buy stuff directly from street vendors. Since you can make clothes yourself, why are you still wearing such worn-out ones?”

“This one is my battle uniform.” Zhou Buchu grinned, “It’s specially for mooching meals, I’ve been wearing it for over thirty years, accompanying me through five identities. When people see me dressed like this, who would have the nerve to ask me to foot the bill? Except for you… you’re almost as thick-skinned as me.”

Ye Chen grinned, feeling quite pleased as he touched his own cheek, as if receiving praise.

Zhou Buchu: “…”

“But you can’t really spend absolutely no money at all,” Ye Chen tried to find a loophole in his words, “When you buy things on Kan Duoduo^[4]Pinduoduo is an e-commerce platform that offers a wide range of rock bottom priced products from home appliances to daily groceries. Pinduoduo users can invite friends and family on social media to … Continue reading, you can’t possibly get everything for free. You must spend some money.”

“I can spend money.” Zhou Buchu admitted openly, “But only in one situation, when I’m getting a great deal. Otherwise, I won’t let a penny out… House I’m living in now, I got a huge bargain over thirty years ago. It was haunted to the point that it was notorious in the whole area. I moved in, and on the first night, I dealt with the ghosts. Heh heh.”

Ye Chen suddenly felt worried about his spiritual plant business: “…”

The author has something to say:

Ye Qiongqiong’s account book today:

The promised free meal seems to have taken flight…

Shen Mofeng’s account book today:

—Thinking about Chen Chen, the Chen Chen in my memories is really adorable.

Shen Mofeng’s Favorability: +10

Current Favorability: 20/1500, four stars.

Two freeloaders mooching against each other… Truly, it can even be said that those who hear it shed tears, those who see it grieve, reader hahaha