Chapter 109: Guilt or Reluctance

Cheng Jingmo’s eyebrows twitched slightly, and a hint of surprise appeared in his gentle eyes.

Perhaps due to his weakened state, his tone was much softer than usual.

“If you had fallen off the cliff that day and died, I wouldn’t have survived alone.”

Every cut he made on the rope that day felt like a cut to his own heart; the pain was akin to the wound he’d sustained a few days earlier.

But his mission didn’t allow for any other choice, and he couldn’t even show any panic or sorrow.

He had made the worst-case scenario, if Yu Xiangnian had died, he was willing to accompany her.

She was such a delicate person; last time, when he left her alone on the cliff, she was afraid someone might push her off.

How could he rest easy knowing she was alone at the bottom of the cliff?

Moreover, he had promised Yu Xiangnian’s parents to take good care of her, and he hadn’t fulfilled that promise.

He felt sorry for Yu Xiangnian and her parents.

Hearing him say this, Yu Xiangnian smiled, “Is this guilt or are you reluctant to part with me?”

Cheng Jingmo was silent for a while. “Both.”

He felt inferior in front of Yu Xiangnian.

In her eyes, he was just a country bumpkin who had never seen much of the world. He couldn’t provide her with the kind of good conditions that her family did.

His background and origins meant he could only admire her from afar, too afraid to approach.

In the past, he could control himself and maintain a distance.

But now, even though he knew he wasn’t worthy, he still selfishly wanted to possess her.

Yu Xiangnian, of course, didn’t know about Cheng Jingmo’s inferiority complex.

She wasn’t aware of his background; she only knew that Cheng Jingmo was an outstanding person in the military and would one day become a respected general.

She widened her smile, wanting to ask Cheng Jingmo if he “had developed feelings for her.”

But she decided against it.

It was probably similar to how she felt about him—liking him wasn’t quite there yet, just a budding interest.

Besides, Cheng Jingmo’s reserved nature made it surprising enough that he answered “both.”

Pressing further might scare him.

He had just undergone heart surgery, and his heart was still vulnerable. It was best not to stimulate him.

Yu Xiangnian smiled and said, “Then, in the future, don’t throw yourself into missions so recklessly. Last time you got injured, and this time you almost died. Think about your family, okay?”

Cheng Jingmo responded, “Mm.”

This time, if he hadn’t been so desperate, the spy leader would have escaped.

They had been tracking this spy organization for nearly a year, but these people were too cunning.

There had been an exposure in May, which was the time he got injured.

Although they captured three people at that time, the leader escaped, and they only scratched the surface of the organization.

After another four months of investigation, they finally found the organization’s trace again.

After the previous confrontation, Cheng Jingmo and his team had made a more thorough plan.

But these people, with a do-or-die mentality, fought to protect their leader’s escape.

Cheng Jingmo fought with his life to capture the leader.

Through later interrogations, it was learned that the group was carrying stolen data and preparing to leave the country.

If they had not captured them this time, it would have posed a severe threat to the country.

Yu Xiangnian then asked, “Why do you never talk about your family?”

Cheng Jingmo’s eyes lowered. “They are farmers. I haven’t been back for many years and don’t know much about their situation.”

“Oh…” Yu Xiangnian nodded, “Then when can we go visit them?”

Cheng Jingmo’s eyelids lifted, a glimmer of light appeared in his eyes, but it quickly faded. “We’ll talk about it later.”

Yu Xiangnian had only mentioned it casually, and he shouldn’t take it too seriously, or he’d only be disappointed.

Besides, his family…

Though their conversation was somewhat casual, neither of them could keep their smiles from showing until Yu Xiangyang arrived to bring food and take over the shift.

The next morning, Yu Jiashun and Zhao Ruozhu came to visit him.

Cheng Jingmo asked to be alone for a moment and requested a bowl of wontons, sending Yu Xiangyang away.

He then asked the same question again, “Mom, Dad, what was the name of the doctor who performed my surgery that day?”

Zhao Ruozhu didn’t think much of it and said, “An expert from Beijing. I don’t know his name. He didn’t sign anything or greet anyone; he just left after the surgery, and we don’t even know when he left.”

Cheng Jingmo pondered for a moment before asking, “Did you see what he looked like?”

“I only saw his back. He was short and skinny, and the military uniform looked like it was borrowed. At the time, I even said that Xiangyang had found such an unreliable person, but it turned out he was really an expert!”

Cheng Jingmo maintained a calm demeanor, “I never heard from Xiangyang that he knew any experts from Beijing.”

Yu Jiashun noticed that Cheng Jingmo was asking a lot of questions and asked, “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” Cheng Jingmo replied, “I just want to thank him.”

Yu Jiashun advised, “Don’t think too much about it. Focus on your recovery.”

Ten days later, Cheng Jingmo was discharged from the hospital.

Yu Xiangnian, accompanied by Xiao Jie, had just finished cleaning the house the day before.

During this period, Yu Xiangnian had been visiting Cheng Jingmo at the hospital every afternoon. Their relationship seemed to have progressed, but there was still an elusive sense of distance.

Especially when their eyes met, it felt like something ungraspable was gathering around them.

Yu Xiangnian unilaterally believed this was a sign of romantic tension.

If they wanted to advance their relationship, they needed a chance.

As it happened, Cheng Jingmo mentioned that Xiao Jie’s birthday was in two days, and he wanted to take Xiao Jie to the Martyrs’ Cemetery to visit Xiao Jie’s father.

Here was the opportunity!

She first discussed with Cheng Jingmo how to plan Xiao Jie’s birthday party.

Cheng Jingmo had never celebrated his own birthday. Looking at Yu Xiangnian’s bright, lively eyes and hearing her chatter about all these fancy details, he was inwardly skeptical.

But it didn’t matter if he was skeptical. The important thing was to agree!

He had to support whatever Yu Xiangnian proposed!

This was one of the qualities of a good husband she had mentioned during their time at the hospital.

Yu Xiangnian then privately criticized Xiao Jie, “Xiao Jie, you’re about to turn eight! Aren’t you a bit old to be afraid of sleeping alone?”

Naturally, Xiao Jie boasted, “Who says I’m afraid to sleep alone?”

“Then why do you sleep with your uncle every night?”

“There are only two beds at home. If I sleep alone, where will my uncle sleep?”

Yu Xiangnian gave him a knowing look, “What do you think?”

Xiao Jie, with a wary and doubtful expression, said, “Aren’t you the one who didn’t want my uncle to sleep with you?”

Yu Xiangnian replied, “You don’t understand! There needs to be a trial period for couples. Only after the trial period can they sleep together.”

Xiao Jie: “…” He felt like his aunt was up to no good!

But he had heard from Daya and Dong Jiannan that their parents slept in the same bed!

Xiao Jie hesitated and said, “My uncle is injured. What if you kick his wound?”

Yu Xiangnian patted her chest and assured him, “I promise! Besides, don’t you think about it? With my long legs, even if I kicked, I’d only kick his legs.”