Chapter 67: “Can I Love You a Little More?”

They got up, grabbed their coats, shook off the prying eyes, and walked through the long corridor into the swirling snow, leaving four hurried footprints in the thin layer of snow.

As they slowed down, Jiang Yao, still holding Duan Zhuxian’s hand, suddenly laughed heartily, with hands on his hips.

His cheeks were as red as peaches, and his laughter was full of joy, contrasting sharply with the aggressive man at the dinner table earlier.

Duan Zhuxian watched Jiang Yao intently, inch by inch, until the infectious laughter spread to his own lips. He asked, “Why are you suddenly so happy?”

Jiang Yao stopped his wild laughter and blinked, “I just suddenly remembered when I persuaded you to skip class in our second year of high school. Do you remember?”

Duan Zhuxian responded without hesitation, “I remember.”

Back then, they were each leading a team of student volunteers and had met an elderly disabled man who ran a small shop. After the activity, Jiang Yao left his phone number with the man, telling him to call if he ever needed help.

One day in the deep winter, Jiang Yao received a call from the man asking for help. The meteorological bureau had issued an emergency warning about freezing rain at night, and the man’s shed couldn’t withstand it. He needed to move his goods to the warehouse, but there were too many items, and he couldn’t do it alone due to his disability.

Although it was winter break, the school was holding extra classes. Without a second thought, Jiang Yao rushed out of the classroom. When he reached the school gate, he sent a message to Duan Zhuxian, saying he couldn’t handle it alone. Duan Zhuxian simply replied with [Okay.]

He waited without much hope, but three minutes later, that tall and upright figure really appeared at the school gate.

Later, he found out that Duan Zhuxian had already asked for leave from the teacher on the way, and had even secured one for Jiang Yao, sparing him the “punishment of writing a self-reflection.” But at that moment, the sense of achievement in “skipping class with Duan Zhuxian” was simply unparalleled.

“Oh, I forgot you have a good memory. You remember all my little things,” Jiang Yao said with a sly smile, and beckoned Duan Zhuxian with his finger. “Come closer, I have a secret to tell you.”

Duan Zhuxian slightly bowed his head. Just as he brought his ear close to Jiang Yao’s warm lips, the deliberately lowered but still smug voice filled his ear. “Actually, I did it on purpose. I could have moved those things by myself.”

Duan Zhuxian asked, “Then why did you call me?”

Except for things related to competition, Jiang Yao almost never actively invited him to do anything.

“Of course, I wanted to see you break school rules.”

Jiang Yao laughed and took a step back, raising his chin with a justified and provocative expression.

“You were flying too high, and you looked down on everyone. I was too lazy to look up at you, so I wanted to pull you down from the clouds, right in front of me, to keep you grounded.”

Duan Zhuxian paused, then suddenly chuckled softly, “Thank you.”

Jiang Yao was puzzled. “Thank me for what?”

Duan Zhuxian replied, “It’s nothing.”

Their relationship had never been about Jiang Yao intentionally pulling him down. It was that when Duan Zhuxian was at his most uncertain stage, Jiang Yao had unreservedly opened his arms and stabilized his restless life.

Jiang Yao hummed twice, unwilling to deal with someone speaking in half-mysteries. He looked back at the hall he had left a hundred meters behind in one breath. The extravagant lights blended into the night fog, creating an eerie, unsettling atmosphere.

As he looked away, the nearby snow was light and pale, almost unable to illuminate faces.

But he could clearly feel Duan Zhuxian’s gaze repeatedly lingering on him, so tender it seemed to want to melt along with the snowflakes in his palm.

Cold wind swirled around his nose and lips. After a moment of eye contact, Jiang Yao exhaled a large cloud of white mist, his once excited tone suddenly becoming much calmer. “Tsk, I did drink a bit too much today.”

The instinctive protectiveness embedded in his bones gradually cooled down. Jiang Yao rubbed his slightly throbbing temples and said seriously, “Did I cause you any trouble at the dinner table just now?”

Although those Duan family members were extremely detestable and undeserving of a peaceful New Year, this was still Duan Zhuxian’s family matter, and Jiang Yao wasn’t sure if he had the right to interfere.

Duan Zhuxian suddenly revealed a mysterious expression. “Then let me tell you a secret.”

Jiang Yao’s eyes lit up. “What is it?”

As Jiang Yao curiously leaned his head closer, Duan Zhuxian lowered his voice and said, “Since the day I picked you up from the hot spring, I’ve been waiting for you to stand up for me. Tonight, you finally did.”

Jiang Yao: ?

“What the hell, didn’t you say you didn’t eavesdrop on my conversation with them?”

Jiang Yao’s ears suddenly turned red.

Duan Zhuxian calmly explained, “I had just reached the door and hadn’t had a chance to cover my ears when your voice drifted out. You were adamantly saying you would protect me and warning others not to bully me, so it doesn’t count as eavesdropping.”

Hearing this, Jiang Yao’s ears turned even redder, almost dripping blood.

The consequence of ruffling his feathers was that until they got in the car, Duan Zhuxian didn’t get a single direct look from Jiang Yao.

Facing away from Duan Zhuxian and looking out the car window, Jiang Yao felt a hand brazenly touch his shoulder, shaking it as if seeking reconciliation.

He elbowed backward to push the hand away and continued to frown at the window. But moments later, the hand came back, and he elbowed it away again…

After several repetitions, the hand that was bothering him finally stopped.

On this New Year’s Eve, when families were reuniting, the streets were almost empty. Most of the shops were closed, and the usually vibrant street scene was now desolate and lonely, quite dull.

Feeling bored and sulking, Jiang Yao’s phone on his lap suddenly lit up with a message.

Duan Zhuxian: [Yao Yao, pay attention to me.]

Jiang Yao stared at those six extremely shameless words, and an unusual feeling surged in his chest, as if something was slowly melting, completely beyond control.

A few seconds later, his heart softened, but his expression remained sullen.

Jiang Yao turned his head, gritted his teeth, and said to the smug person, “Duan Zhuxian, provoking me is like kicking a cotton ball!”^[1]“踢到棉花了” (tī dào mián huā le) = “kicking a cotton ball.” In Chinese, this idiom means that an effort or attack has no effect because the target is soft or … Continue reading

*

Returning from the oppressive Duan family’s old house to their own home, Jiang Yao felt a sense of relief. As he leisurely passed by the sofa, Duan Zhuxian pulled him down to sit on his lap.

He was startled, but he didn’t refuse the human cushion.

Duan Zhuxian’s phone, placed on the coffee table, kept lighting up continuously. Jiang Yao glanced at it and saw that almost all the messages were from the Duan’s family.

Those family’s hidden scandals, buried for over twenty years, had been unexpectedly exposed by him, and now they were probably on edge, fearing that Duan Zhuxian might take action against them.

Feeling annoyed, Jiang Yao turned the phone face down and asked Duan Zhuxian, “Have they been bullying you like that since you were very young?”

Duan Zhuxian replied, “Even worse.”

Those words were spoken casually, without much emotion, but Jiang Yao felt a sharp pain in his heart.

He wrapped his arms around Duan Zhuxian’s neck and hugged him closer, even his voice was much lower, “How did you endure it until now…”

Duan Zhuxian looked up at Jiang Yao, “Do you remember what you told me back then? You said that controlled anger is a source of strength and motivation, but if it erupts at the wrong time, it becomes worthless emotional outburst.”

Jiang Yao furrowed his brows, trying to recall, “Did I really say something so philosophical?”

“Yes, it was when Duan Song used unconventional means to transfer the house my mom left me to Duan Feiyi and He Lu’s names. It was the same day you asked me to go swimming.” Duan Zhuxian smiled slightly, and lowered his eyes slightly as if he was mocking himself, “It’s normal if you don’t remember these small things.”

“No, I remember,” Jiang Yao quickly defended himself. “I just can’t recall exactly what I said…”

“Actually, the moment I found out the house was taken, I almost lost my mind. All kinds of terrible thoughts came to me. If it weren’t for your message reminding me that you were waiting for me, and later telling me that patience was the right thing during my moments of self-doubt, I might not be who I am today.”

Jiang Yao grumbled, “Don’t put me on such a high pedestal. My head’s too small to support it.”

Duan Zhuxian chuckled softly, and raised his hand to ruffle Jiang Yao’s drooping head. “Don’t be sad. It’s all in the past.”

Jiang Yao couldn’t stand Duan Zhuxian’s calm demeanor. His heart ached, but he wasn’t good at comforting people. After thinking for a long time, he finally muttered, “Duan Zhuxian, even if you lose Hua Yan, leave the Duan family, and all your businesses go bankrupt, I can still take care of you.”

Duan Zhuxian looked at Jiang Yao, seeming to seriously consider his words.

Jiang Yao quickly added, “Don’t overthink it. I don’t mean to underestimate you.”

Duan Zhuxian said earnestly, “No, I was just thinking that living off you sounds quite appealing.”

Jiang Yao: “…”

“Of course, I have plenty to offer!” Jiang Yao freed one arm from the embrace and slapped his pocket with bravado, then turned serious. “But I still hope you can achieve your goals.”

He knew that Duan Zhuxian’s ultimate goal was to take over all of Hua Yan. For that, Duan Zhuxian had endured and sacrificed a lot.

But what Jiang Yao didn’t know was that the biggest wish Duan Zhuxian had once dared not even think about had already been fulfilled beyond his wildest dreams.

While sitting on Duan Zhuxian’s lap, Jiang Yao wrapped his arms around Duan Zhuxian’s neck and continued, “I’m a tough person. Even after being kidnapped for two days and nights without food, water, or sleep, I was fine. I’m also very lucky. A fortune teller once told me so. So why don’t you stick close to me?”

“Duan Zhuxian, in the new year, you will definitely have an exceptionally good year, an exceptionally, exceptionally good one…”

Jiang Yao repeated “exceptionally good” several times, his tongue starting to trip over the words. Duan Zhuxian knew he had drunk too much and was rambling.

Those plump, rosy lips opening and closing in front of him were making Duan Zhuxian’s heart itch with desire.

Duan Zhuxian slowly leaned in, stopping at a tantalizingly close distance, wanting to kiss him but also wanting to hear more of what Jiang Yao had to say.

“I will,” Duan Zhuxian said with certainty.

Interrupted in his spell-casting, Jiang Yao’s already muddled brain stuttered, and he asked uncertainly, “Really?”

Duan Zhuxian responded with an “Mm,” and said, “With you around, every day is the best day for me.”

Jiang Yao was stunned.

How was Duan Zhuxian always so good with words?

Why couldn’t he manage even half a coherent sentence?

Even though he usually talked a lot…

Jiang Yao held back for a long time, unsure how to respond. He then quickly stole a kiss from Duan Zhuxian’s lips and immediately bolted out the door.

Duan Zhuxian sat alone on the sofa for a while, savoring Jiang Yao’s recent actions. After a few moments, he got up and walked outside.

In the courtyard, Jiang Yao was rolling a snowball. Having drunk too much, his steps were a bit unsteady, but he was particularly enthusiastic.

He placed a small snowball on top of a larger one and searched for suitable items to use as facial features.

Once the snowman started to take shape, Jiang Yao glanced back at Duan Zhuxian, who was leaning against the door. Then he looked at his small snowman, after thinking for a moment he frowned, and then strode back inside and walked up the stairs.

A few minutes later, he came back out with two items he had taken from Duan Zhuxian.

One was Duan Zhuxian’s silver-rimmed glasses, and the other was his usual blue-striped tie.

After putting the glasses and tie on the small snowman, a satisfied smile finally appeared on Jiang Yao’s face.

He looked up and asked Duan Zhuxian loudly, “Look, your twin brother. Doesn’t he look just like you?”

Duan Zhuxian glanced at the small snowman, its mouth formed into a straight line, giving it a slightly aloof look. He crossed his arms, and refused to acknowledge it, “It doesn’t look like me.”

As midnight approached, the first firework exploded in the sky.

Even many years later, Duan Zhuxian would still remember this moment, which was less than a millionth of his life’s long journey—

Under the brilliant fireworks, Jiang Yao held a handful of snow, grinning mischievously as he shoved it down Duan Zhuxian’s collar.

The boy with red eyes in the snowy days, deeply buried in Duan Zhuxian’s heart, had finally made peace with the snowy days that included him.

Duan Zhuxian took a step, descending three steps in one stride.

Seeing Duan Zhuxian approaching with determination, Jiang Yao thought he was coming for revenge and started to run away, yelling. But Duan Zhuxian grabbed his wrist and pulled him into an embrace.

“Yao Yao, can I love you a little more now?” Duan Zhuxian whispered into Jiang Yao’s ear, with a warm and urgent breath.

Jiang Yao was stunned for a moment. “What kind of question is that?”

“Don’t like me too much either,” Duan Zhuxian continued, pausing for a low chuckle, “I might not know how to repay you. I might end up flustered and helpless. Whose words are those?”

Jiang Yao’s breath hitched, and he felt his face heat up immediately.

Is this guy a tape recorder?

How could he remember and recite every single thing I’ve ever said?

Jiang Yao blushed, and pouted, “Whatever.”

He wanted to see how Duan Zhuxian, already loving him so much, could possibly love him more.

The temperature outside was too low to linger. As they broke their embrace, Jiang Yao’s nose had already turned red from the cold.

Duan Zhuxian lowered his gaze, and looked into Jiang Yao’s eyes, which were sparkling from the fireworks. “Tomorrow, let’s go on our honeymoon.”

He had so many words accumulated over countless moments, and he needed to find the perfect opportunity to say them to Jiang Yao.