Chapter 44

The smile on Xu Zhilu’s face froze, and she looked at Shen Siyan in disbelief.

Seeing her surprised expression, Shen Siyan slowly approached. “Don’t you feel anything?”

Xu Zhilu was silent.

What should she say? Should she admit that she has feelings but is unsure?

It wasn’t that she found his pursuit unreal, but given their current circumstances—which they both understood—there wasn’t much difference between him pursuing her and not.

They just hadn’t broken through that barrier yet.

Xu Zhilu pursed her lips and looked at him. “No.”

She was quiet for a few seconds, then added, “I just think… it’s quite unnecessary.”

Shen Siyan looked at her and smiled. “I think it is necessary.”

He whispered, “I owe you this.”

“No.”

Xu Zhilu said without thinking, “You don’t owe me anything.”

Love cannot be described with the terms “owe” or “not owe.” It is always something abstract and elusive.

In love, no one owes anyone anything.

Those who fall in love first often suffer more than those who fall in love later. But this is what everyone desires. Xu Zhilu didn’t regret loving Shen Siyan; she just felt a bit sorry for herself.

It would have been better if she had confessed her feelings earlier and Shen Siyan had understood them sooner.

Then they might not have had all the complicated issues later, and perhaps there wouldn’t have been any rebirth.

Xu Zhilu had blamed Shen Siyan before, but that was due to misunderstandings at the time, especially when she thought he had broken a promise. Reflecting on it now, her resentment has long faded.

After all, Shen Siyan was also a victim. He knew nothing, and yet she harbored such animosity towards him.

Xu Zhilu didn’t know how to describe her feelings. In short, she felt quite sorry for Shen Siyan.

The whole situation was flawed, but the mistakes were common, and many people make them.

_

Shen Siyan looked down at her. “What did you say?”

Xu Zhilu raised her eyes and looked straight at him. “I’m telling the truth. You don’t owe me anything. In the end, I am also at fault.”

Shen Siyan started to speak, about to argue that he hadn’t done anything wrong, but Xu Zhilu continued, “If I had a better personality and had expressed myself clearly like An An, I wouldn’t be in this situation now.”

She looked at Shen Siyan. “The reason I’m avoiding the fact that we once got married is that I’m not fully prepared yet.”

She spoke softly, “Shen Siyan, give me some time. I need to sort things out.”

Shen Siyan’s face was slightly stiff, and he looked at her. “I can give you some time,” he said, pursing his lips tightly. “Just don’t leave.”

Hearing this, Xu Zhilu looked at him with amusement. “Where would I go?”

She said, “I work here.”

Shen Siyan responded, “Then don’t stop me from coming here. It’s more relaxing to be here than at home.”

Xu Zhilu: “…”

Since he had said that, it seemed she had no reason to refuse.

“It’s up to you, then.”

“Yeah.” Shen Siyan looked at her. “There’s one more thing I forgot to mention.”

Xu Zhilu raised an eyebrow.

Shen Siyan extended his hand, ruffled her hair, and said, “Now that we’ve talked about it, I’ll start seriously pursuing you tomorrow.”

Xu Zhilu looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“To chase you.”

Shen Siyan said, “We lost four years. Now that we’re back, it means we have a chance to make up for it.” He paused and looked at Xu Zhilu with intense eyes. “I don’t want to have any regrets, and I don’t want to miss this opportunity again.”

Xu Zhilu blinked lightly and said nothing.

Shen Siyan bent down and whispered, “I want to pursue you seriously from now on.” He held Xu Zhilu’s hand and said, “The past is the past. Let’s start over this time. Don’t be in a hurry to reject me.”

Shen Siyan looked at her. “After I pursue you, whether you agree or not is up to you. I won’t force or coerce you.”

He didn’t even blink, his Adam’s apple moving up and down. “Xu Zhilu, I never told you.”

He said, “I like you. A lot.”

He wasn’t sure when it started, but it seemed he had fallen in love with her. It was a pity that he had always confused his feelings with family affection.

_

After entering the house, Xu Zhilu went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water.

She took a sip, but her movements gradually slowed down.

For some reason, Shen Siyan’s words kept replaying in her mind.

Like.

He likes her.

Likes her very much.

Xu Zhilu had heard similar sentiments many times in her previous life. Shen Siyan seemed to know she was emotionally insecure and would repeatedly tell her he liked and loved her.

When he said it, he was always frank and direct.

But hearing it now, it felt different from before.

Xu Zhilu vaguely noticed that her heartbeat seemed to quicken at that moment.

It was the heartbeat when the person you liked spoke.

She had to admit that even if she lived her life over again, she couldn’t help but fall in love with Shen Siyan once more and fall for this not-so-perfect boy again.

After coming to this realization, Xu Zhilu finished the water in her cup.

She went to the bathroom.

When she came out of the shower, she found a message from Shen Siyan on her phone.

Shen Siyan: I’m home.

Xu Zhilu: Yeah.

Shen Siyan: Go to bed early. Good night.

Xu Zhilu looked at the message for a while, then replied, Good night.

_

For more than half a month afterward, Shen Siyan truly did what he said.

When he said he was pursuing Xu Zhilu, he meant it sincerely.

He sent her flowers every day, occasionally brought her meals, and took her out to have fun from time to time.

Whenever Xu Zhilu had time, she wouldn’t refuse, and they got along well and harmoniously.

When Xin An’an learned that Shen Siyan was pursuing Xu Zhilu, her curiosity got the better of her, and she followed him to the milk tea shop.

When she arrived, Shen Siyan had not come yet.

“Where’s Shen Siyan?”

Xu Zhilu glanced at her and said, “Not here yet.”

Xin An’an leaned in front of her. “There aren’t many people in the store right now.”

Xu Zhilu nodded. “I know.”

Xin An’an looked at her. “Aren’t you going to gossip with me?”

Hearing this, Xu Zhilu found it amusing. “How would I gossip?”

“It’s Shen Siyan who’s chasing you.”

Xu Zhilu looked at her and asked, “What would you like to drink?”

“Lemon tea.”

Xu Zhilu nodded, ordered a cup for her, and started making it.

“No.”

Xin An’an looked at her from behind and said, “Zhilu, I’m serious about this.”

Xu Zhilu turned around, looked at her, and smiled. “I know.”

She whispered, “I’m thinking about what to say.”

Xin An’an blinked. “That’s it? What else can I say?”

She asked curiously, “What do you think?”

Xu Zhilu pondered for a moment and said, “Let’s talk about it later.”

To be honest, she hadn’t given it much thought. Given her personality, she enjoys her current life with Shen Siyan.

An ordinary life without too many ups and downs was enough for Xu Zhilu.

Xin An’an felt helpless upon hearing this. “That’s it?”

Xu Zhilu smiled. “Yes.”

She was quiet for a while, then added, “I still like Shen Siyan very much.”