Proofreader: Sandra

Chapter 147

At seven in the morning, Lu Siyu and Song Wen returned home.

Today was the second day of the long holiday, and it seemed like an ordinary morning. The city basked in its usual bright sunlight, as if nothing had happened the previous night…

On the way back, Lu Siyu hardly spoke. He kept his head down, lips pressed together, and except for the occasional blink, he seemed almost petrified.

After arriving home, Song Wen sat on the sofa and looked at Lu Siyu with a bit of helplessness. “I know you didn’t do anything harmful to Xu Changying, but your lack of a reasonable explanation for that phone call seems illogical to the City Bureau. Such an incident would have this result for anyone, it’s not targeted at you specifically.”

Song Wen tried to explain to Lu Siyu, hoping that today’s events wouldn’t leave him resentful towards their colleagues and Commissioner Gu. After a pause, he added, “The City Bureau might be manageable, but the Provincial Bureau people are already on their way here, and they will definitely question you too…”

He didn’t want Lu Siyu to clash with Song Cheng, but a police officer’s death is always a significant matter, especially for someone of Xu Changying’s status. Song Cheng would undoubtedly look into it personally.

Lu Siyu kept his head down. The temperature difference in autumn was significant; after the sun came out, the temperature gradually warmed up. The morning sunlight touched the tips of his hair and illuminated his fair side profile, but his whole demeanor still exuded a sense of coldness.

This feeling made Song Wen feel somewhat unfamiliar. He was no longer accustomed to such a distance between them.

After a moment of silence, Song Wen sighed, stood up, and said, “No matter what, let’s wash up and get ready for breakfast.”

Yesterday, they were busy with the case and then encountered such an event. They were still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and Lu Siyu’s clothes were stained with some of Xu Changying’s blood from the accident, looking somewhat disheveled.

Song Wen washed his face and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Lu Siyu took a shower, changed his clothes, and returned to the living room.

After a while, when Song Wen had the porridge cooking in the rice cooker, the eggs boiling, and the milk heating in a saucepan, Lu Siyu suddenly stood up and walked behind him.

Song Wen felt him approach but hadn’t turned around to speak to Lu Siyu before he suddenly felt himself being hugged from behind.

Lu Siyu had just finished showering, and his body was warm. His arms slowly wrapped around Song Wen from behind, quietly holding him.

He said nothing, just held Song Wen in silence.

This gesture took Song Wen by surprise. He had always been the more proactive one in their relationship. Though Lu Siyu didn’t mind, he rarely initiated such actions. This move now felt like he was seeking reconciliation.

Song Wen thought, even though they were so close that they could hear each other’s heartbeats, why did he still have no idea what the person behind him was thinking? That person now acted like a well-behaved rabbit, yet who knew what he was plotting?

All Song Wen could think about was how to clean up the mess for Lu Siyu, but Lu Siyu remained silent.

Regarding yesterday’s events, others might be unclear, but Song Wen knew for sure that Xu Changying must have told him something highly confidential; otherwise, Lu Siyu wouldn’t have said things like “I’m alone now” over the phone.

Song Wen patted Lu Siyu’s hand, then turned around and said, “Wait, let’s talk after breakfast.”

Breakfast was quickly prepared. Song Wen brought it over, and the two sat face-to-face eating. For a moment, Song Wen recalled the first time he came here and had his first meal with Lu Siyu.

Back then, Song Wen had felt that Lu Siyu was hiding something, that he was shrouded in mystery, and that his behavior was odd.

Now, more than half a year had passed. The two sat in the same positions, having experienced so much together. Worse yet, he had hopelessly fallen for the person sitting in front of him.

Song Wen pondered how to discuss this matter with Lu Siyu and how to proceed with the investigation.

Then, he started feeling dizzy. At first, Song Wen thought it was the aftereffect of staying up all night. But soon he realized that this dizziness was different from being sick or injured.

His mind oscillated between clarity and confusion. The world before him seemed to shift, a disorienting sensation that made him feel out of control. Everything around him tilted and spun. Song Wen struggled to lift his head and look in Lu Siyu’s direction.

Through the haze, he saw that Lu Siyu’s expression was indifferent, and his glass of milk remained untouched…

A cold realization struck Song Wen. The drug had been slipped into his milk during the hug when he was momentarily distracted.

What he thought was a warm embrace of reconciliation was actually Lu Siyu thinking about how to escape from him.

“What did you give me?!” Song Wen managed to ask with difficulty. His throat felt dry, and he felt as if he were spinning rapidly. The dizziness made him want to vomit, but nothing came up. It felt as if all his strength had been drained, and breathing and heartbeat became laborious, with his thoughts slowing down.

Lu Siyu offered no explanation. He sat at the table, turning his head to look at Song Wen. His beautiful eyes, with their lowered lashes, were as delicate and unforgettable as when they first met. But now, his face was devoid of any expression, his gaze cold to the extreme.

For a moment, Song Wen even felt that Lu Siyu was like a cold, unfeeling killer, looking at him as if he were a cadaver on an autopsy table, contemplating whether to kill him.

Song Wen felt as if he didn’t recognize the person in front of him. He stretched out his right hand, using all his strength to try to grab him. “Where are you going?”

Xu Changying had just died, and the matter of the phone call was still unresolved. If Lu Siyu left now, he would be considered a suspect, and the situation would become even more dire and chaotic.

Thinking of this, Song Wen realized that even at this moment, he was still worried about Lu Siyu.

Lu Siyu remained motionless, offering no explanation. Looking at him like this, Song Wen felt a chilling cold inside, a dull pain in his chest that he couldn’t tell if it was a reaction from his brain or the effect of the drug.

Perhaps Lu Siyu had always planned to leave.

Work, money, love, even life itself—none of it seemed to matter to him!

Song Wen thought about their relationship. He was his direct superior, his roommate, yet from the past to the present, it seemed that Lu Siyu had never considered including him in his life, in his future.

By now, he could leave without any lingering attachment, as if the months they had spent together were all a lie.

From the very beginning, it seemed Lu Siyu didn’t belong here. But Song Wen hadn’t expected this outcome. He had always tried to hold on to him, only to realize that he was the only one sinking deeper and deeper.

Song Wen felt his heart tighten as if it were being mercilessly squeezed by iron wires, leaving him breathless. The drug’s effects kicked in, and his body could no longer maintain its balance. Song Wen collapsed onto the floor, everything plunging into darkness…

When Song Wen groggily regained consciousness, he found himself lying on a bed in the guest room on the first floor. The curtains were drawn, and the room was pitch dark except for a bit of light near the window.

Song Wen’s head was still spinning violently, and everything in his vision kept rotating. It felt like he had only temporarily regained a bit of consciousness. Trying to move, he found his hand cuffed.

The handcuff secured his left hand to the bed’s headboard, making a slight noise as he moved.

Lu Siyu wasn’t in the room. Outside, there were sounds, like someone dragging a suitcase. To Song Wen, it felt like something was crushing his brain.

Song Wen fought to endure the dizziness, cold sweat forming on his forehead. Then he noticed that the key to the handcuffs seemed to be on the bedside table. He struggled to get up, trying to reach for the key.

His body felt incredibly heavy, and even moving his fingers took all his strength. Just as his fingers were about to touch the key, it was pushed further away by a hand with long, pale fingers—fingers he used to know so well.

Song Wen laboriously raised his head. At some point, Lu Siyu had entered the room and was now standing by the bed, looking down at him with pursed lips. His expression was indifferent and calm as he said, “You shouldn’t have woken up.”

In his plan, perhaps he was meant to leave once Song Wen fell asleep, or maybe he had more to do.

Song Wen gave up on the key and turned his head to look at him. Mustering all his focus, he asked, “Lu Siyu, what are you trying to do?”

Lu Siyu finally moved. In the beam of light coming through the window, his skin looked like fine porcelain, his long eyelashes glistening.

He reached out a hand to caress Song Wen’s cheek. Song Wen could feel the cold touch of his fingers and hear his chilly voice as he finally gave an explanation: “Captain Song, your initial intuition was correct. I approached you, I came to Nancheng with a purpose… I’m sorry, I deceived you, I used you…”

These words felt like an icy blade piercing Song Wen’s body, freezing his blood.

But a moment later, Lu Siyu lowered his gaze, giving himself away. Whenever he lied, his eyes would avoid looking directly at someone. This habit was something he still couldn’t change.

For a moment, the numbing effect of the drug was suppressed by his willpower, allowing him to think clearly.

Suddenly, Song Wen realized that the coldness was a facade, the ruthlessness was a facade, and Lu Siyu would never actually harm him.

Gasping, he said haltingly, “Liar… You lying little fox, you must be going to do something dangerous. You won’t tell me anything and even drugged me because you know… if I were awake, I wouldn’t let you go.”

Hearing these words, Lu Siyu’s expression changed. The coldness melted away, replaced by a softness and an intense gaze as if he wanted to etch Song Wen into his memory.

“No matter where you run… I will find you…” Song Wen’s vision darkened. To stay awake, he pulled on the handcuff, causing his wrist to scrape against the cold metal, drawing bloody marks. The pain was deep, but it wasn’t enough; his consciousness was slipping away bit by bit.

The whole world was being swallowed by darkness, as if in a dream, so unreal.

Then, something even more unreal happened. Lu Siyu bent down and kissed him on the lips.

Song Wen could feel the soft touch, like brushing against delicate flower petals.

He felt himself teetering on the edge of unconsciousness.

Song Wen didn’t want this momentary warmth, which felt like an apologetic compensation. He had too many questions to ask him, too many things left unresolved.

He reached out with his unrestrained right hand and wrapped it around Lu Siyu’s waist. They were so close that he could feel Lu Siyu trembling slightly, fragile like a wounded animal.

Then Song Wen bit down hard, seemingly breaking Lu Siyu’s lip, tasting a hint of blood in his mouth. The person on top of him let out a low hum of pain but didn’t stop the kiss; instead, it grew more intense.

The fine, intricate sensations of lips and tongues intertwined, stirring his nerves. Something wet touched his cheek—it seemed to be tears.

The whole world tilted and spun, and Song Wen’s mind was in turmoil, unable to distinguish between reality and dream.

It was that dream again, that villa…

It was the scene of the 519 case.

Rain poured down, lightning and thunder filled the sky, and the shadows of the trees cast eerie shapes on the walls, as if they were about to swallow him whole. The dark basement was littered with corpses and decaying flesh.

Everything around him was spinning, his body soaked by the rain, water dripping down. The place was cold and frightening.

“What are you doing here!” Song Wen clearly heard Song Cheng’s voice.

Then Song Cheng reached out and lifted the small him, dragging him upstairs.

In this old villa, the search for evidence was not yet complete. It was a somewhat cluttered room, lit by an orange-yellow lamp, a much better situation than downstairs with no corpses in sight.

Outside, the sky continued to flash with lightning. Rain swept in through the broken windows.

Amidst the storm, Song Wen heard a strange sound, a knocking on wood.

Song Wen, drawn to the sound, walked further in and saw a large cabinet. The door was fastened shut with a pair of iron pliers. The eerie knocking was coming from inside the cabinet.

Gathering his courage, Song Wen walked up to the cabinet and pulled out the iron bar, opening the door.

In that instant, he saw a boy about his age lying inside, the light casting on his pale face, long eyelashes covering his eyes.

Song Wen used all his strength to pull the boy out and held him. The boy was extremely weak, his thin wrists half the thickness of Song Wen’s own. Song Wen could barely hear his breathing or feel his heartbeat.

He turned around, desperately calling out to the adults…

These scenes, never before appearing in his nightmares, had been locked away in the deepest parts of his memory by time.

He had forgotten this part of his past due to a high fever in his childhood. Now, whether it was the effect of the drugs or not, he suddenly remembered it in his dream.

Past and present intertwined, memory and dream merged.

On that dark night, he held him tightly, warming him with his own body, just like now, as if embracing the entire world…

In that moment, half asleep and half awake, Song Wen suddenly realized who he had held in his arms back then.

He had thought that Lu Siyu was somehow connected to the 519 case, but Song Wen had never been able to confirm it…

It turned out they had met all those years ago…

It turns out fate really does exist.

When Song Wen woke up again, the room was still shrouded in curtains, and all around was quiet.

He opened his eyes, looking up at the white ceiling. He was still in that guest room. He couldn’t tell if the memory of waking up in between was a dream or reality until he saw the bandage wrapped around his wrist.

Song Wen struggled a bit; his body still felt weak, but the dizziness was gone. Then he turned his head slightly and saw Xiao Lang squatting nearby, wagging its tail. The dog let out a low whine and lowered its head, looking dejected.

“Even you… got left behind by him?” Song Wen sighed. That person was truly heartless and ungrateful…

Song Wen got up. The key to the handcuff was now within reach. He couldn’t understand why he had spent so much effort trying to get it before without success.

Song Wen quickly unlocked the handcuff, then reached for his phone on the bedside table. It was now 1:30 in the afternoon. He had slept for about six hours, possibly due to the drug’s effects, or maybe because he was just too exhausted.

His phone had over a dozen missed calls. They were from Commissioner Gu, Fu Linjiang, Lin Xiuran, and Li Luanfang.

Song Wen called each of them back: “I’m fine. I’ll explain later…”

He looked around the house, both upstairs and downstairs. The whole villa was empty and eerily quiet. Xiao Lang followed him, whimpering and circling him, looking somewhat lost.

Everything seemed unchanged, yet everything felt different.

Finally, Song Wen’s gaze landed on the dining table, and he froze. There was a meticulously prepared lunch laid out, every dish something he liked. He touched the plates; they were still warm.

Song Wen hesitated for a moment, then looked down and saw a letter pressed under a plate. The handwriting on it was neat and beautiful, very familiar to him.

—

Song Wen, Officer Song, Captain Song:

Hello!

I know you have never stopped suspecting me.

Yes, I came here with a purpose.

As a survivor of the 519 case, Teacher Wu sent me here in hopes of uncovering the truth behind that unsolved case from nineteen years ago.

This mission is far more important to me than becoming a police officer.

The people involved in this case, those behind the scenes, are extremely dangerous.

As you have seen, Captain Xu paid with his life for this.

In that phone call yesterday, Xu Changying gave me the final clues and told me other things. There are people in the police department who are with them. If I reveal any information, it could be leaked.

So, I would rather let everyone misunderstand, let you misunderstand.

I knocked you out and didn’t tell you those things not because I didn’t trust you; on the contrary, you are the only one I can trust and cherish now.

Xu Changying’s passing of the information to me can no longer be hidden. I cannot drag you into this any further.

Song Wen, you are an upright, warm, kind, and just person.

As for me, I am a cold and indifferent person. I have experienced so much, seen so many corpses, and do not want to associate with ordinary people. I do not believe in justice, nor do I care about life and death.

My life used to be shrouded in darkness, but you were like a beam of light that shone into my existence.

Perhaps, in your eyes, I have never taken our relationship seriously. Maybe you feel I am always distant and unresponsive.

I am well aware of many things.

When I was with you, I was always afraid, afraid that you would discover my secrets, afraid of dragging you into danger and bringing you misfortune. I also often reflected on my own imperfections, feeling that someone like me is not worthy of you.

As I write this, I suddenly realize this letter is rather disorganized…

What I want to say is… your affection has been the most beautiful thing I have ever had in my life.

But the matter I am pursuing is something I have been chasing for over twenty years, something I must confront.

This is my last act of defiance. Please forgive my final act of selfishness.

I will continue to follow the clues left by Captain Xu.

If I do not return, just forget about me.

Lu Siyu

P.S.: Previously, you repeatedly said you wanted to pay me rent. Please take care of my dog in exchange.

After reading this letter, Song Wen’s eyes became moist. He remembered something and went to check. Some clothes were missing from Lu Siyu’s wardrobe, a large suitcase was gone, the car had not been driven, and a few types of medicine were missing from the medicine cabinet. He also saw that the painkillers he had confiscated earlier had been taken.

Lu Siyu had disappeared, as if he had never been there.

How could he be so heartless?

Song Wen was stunned for a moment, then he searched every corner of the house. There was nothing in the cabinets, nothing in the dining room, nothing on the table, and nothing in Lu Siyu’s room.

The thermos cup was gone.

Happy birthday, Lu Siyu.

I will find you.