Chapter 59

Shang Mingbao’s body was tightly squeezed. Because of the tightness, she felt the trembling of the body that hugged her.

It was a trembling of extreme cold and extreme pain, the trembling when a person resists extreme cold, the trembling when a person resists intense pain, trembling out in waves from the crevices of bones and muscles.

Whether to resist this trembling or to prevent her from disappearing like quicksand, the body holding her became more and more forceful, the arms tightening more and more, almost crushing her slender frame.

Shang Mingbao couldn’t move, only her vocal cords were her own.

After a moment, she gently spoke, calling out to him, “Xiang Xiang Xiang Feran brother?”

Her voice was lively, with a hint of inexplicable hesitation, when it entered Xiang Xiang Xiang Feran’s ears, it drove away the sounds that filled the world.

His body temperature was driven by hers, melting the ice in his bone crevices.

Xiang Xiang Xiang Feran closed his eyes deeply, his palm against the back of her head, pressing her face motionless against his neck, “Shang Mingbao, do you want me dead?”

Listening to his broken breath and the harshness of his trembling voice, Shang Mingbao’s heart tightened, “I didn’t wander off, I just—”

She just wanted to comfort him, but in his ears, it sounded like a daring excuse. Holding his breath, he held her shoulders and turned her around, but there was no light in his dark pupils, “Just what? Who allowed you to act on your own? You have no experience and cannot discern the dangers outdoors, don’t you understand?!”

Shang Mingbao was shaken by his harshness and fell silent. When she was pressed back into Xiang Xiang Xiang Feran’s arms again, her body softened, allowing him to confine her.

Only when she felt his body’s trembling calm down did she ask, “Brother Xiang Xiang Feran, has something happened here?”

The Xiang Xiang Xiang Feran she knew was a man who remained unfazed even if Mount Tai collapsed in front of him, a man who handled everything methodically and calmly, never becoming disoriented and chaotic just because he didn’t see her at first glance.

There was only one possibility.

She asked in confusion, “Has someone died here before?”

Perhaps there had been an accident here, someone had died or been injured, which is why Xiang Xiang Xiang Feran was so vigilant.

After hearing her question, Xiang Xiang Feran let out a half-smile that seemed like a chuckle, but his breath was cold.

Someone has died…

Yes, for a family, for an individual, it is a catastrophe, but for unrelated people, it is just a statement of “someone has died here,” accompanied by a sigh of regret.

“No.” Xiang Xiang Feran swallowed, his Adam’s apple rolling, producing a hoarse sound, “No one has died here, don’t be afraid.”

Talking about the accident at Liushi Beach, not far from here, a three-hour drive away.

He will always remember that night when he received the rescue team’s call. On the way to the airport, amidst the storm, Xiang Xiang Feran used his connections for the first time, delaying the flight by twenty minutes. The tranquility of the first-class cabin was unbearable, until the flight attendant inquired if he needed medical assistance, Xiang Xiang Feran realized that in the eyes of others, he was a pale, silent, and unfocused patient, a monster.

The search and rescue operation lasted three days until her body was found somewhere at the foot of the mountain.

He wished he could hug her. But he couldn’t. Her scattered remains didn’t allow him to embrace her.

The cause of her death was harder to piece together than her body: sudden weather changes, unexpected fog and snow, losing contact, getting lost, hypothermia, hallucinations, undressing, freezing, stumbling, or being blown off a cliff by the wind.

Everyone believed that such an accident should not happen to an outdoor worker with so much experience, but the reality was heart-wrenching. Her tent was pitched below Liushi Beach, she was prepared for a day trip, so she didn’t bring an emergency blanket, a headlamp, or any lighting facilities.

In the tent of Tang Shuoyue, Xiang Xiang Feran sat for a long time. Her partially written work notes were still spread out on the table, the wooden specimen clamp’s specimen was still slightly damp, several full memory cards were in the storage bag, and the lens in the moisture-proof box was scratched countless times. How many times had she knelt down to study those inconspicuous plants in her life.

On the fifth day after she left, her abandoned phone vibrated, displaying a reminder: “Xiang Xiang Feran’s birthday gift”

She was always immersed in her work, able to repeatedly postpone return dates, unconcerned about birthdays and anniversaries, only Xiang Xiang Feran’s birthday was special.

Xiang Xiang Feran went through her expense bills, chat records, and made phone calls repeatedly, asking, “Hello, did a Ms. Tang ever book anything with you?”

He didn’t find anything until his birthday when he received a landline call. He walked into that store to pick up a set of brushes customized by Tang Shuoyue for him. The shop owner asked, “Why didn’t Miss Tang come?”

Xiang Xiang Feran calmly replied, “She had something to do and couldn’t come.”

“These are top-quality brushes, each brush hair was personally tested many times by her before finalizing, she’s an expert, you can use them for a long time.”

Xiang Xiang Feran had never used them before.

Taking the brushes, he then went to the cake shop and flower shop, picking up the flowers and cake Tang Shuoyue had ordered for him. Standing on the roadside waiting for a car, he held a bouquet in his arms, the paper box beside him filled with a sweet fragrance, but amidst the hustle and bustle of the cars, he remained quiet, showing no joy or sorrow on his face.

He lit the candles on the cake with a cigarette butt. In the dark room, the flames danced in his silent eyes. Those were eyes unrelated to his achievements of winning the Olympic International Gold Medal just a few months ago.

As the candles burned down to the end, a small golden spark suddenly leaped out. Xiang Xiang Feran chuckled as if in disbelief. After the fireworks died out, the room fell into complete darkness, his palm pressed tightly against his burning eye sockets.

No one had ever seen him cry. He simply became less talkative.

Upon hearing him say nothing had happened here, Shang Mingbao felt like it was a false alarm and said with a wry smile, “Then why were you so nervous?”

Xiang Xiang Feran stroked her hair and said, “Promise me, never take things lightly.”

Shang Mingbao hesitantly nodded.

Tashi also joined them, looking tense and asking if something had happened. Upon learning that both were safe, he breathed a sigh of relief, half-jokingly criticizing, “Xiang Xiang Feran, it’s the way you ran down the slope just now that was the most dangerous.”

In the outdoors, any action to save or assist others must be based on ensuring one’s own safety first, and Xiang Xiang Feran was the absolute opposite example just now.

Xiang Xiang Feran glanced at Tashi, signaling him to be quiet, then nodded lightly, “I know, let’s keep going.”

The wind on Liushi Beach was brisk and the air thin, the vast scenery unchanged, making it easy for people to feel dizzy due to the lack of a focal point. In the latter half, nobody had the mind to speak, everyone was focused on climbing.

Learning from past mistakes, Xiang Xiang Feran instructed Shang Mingbao to walk in front of him and strictly follow Tashi’s footsteps.

After crossing the mountain pass, the destination, a lake, came into view, shimmering in emerald green under the gentle breeze.

Even Tashi was slightly out of breath due to the high altitude. After resting for ten minutes to replenish energy and warmth, they set off again. The remaining journey returned to gravel and dirt roads, with grayback rhododendron bushes along the way. Several small lakes had dried up in the winter, leaving behind mud with cracked patterns.

The sky darkened.

The wind suddenly brought a piercing chill, near the lake, fine snowflakes floated down under the gloomy sky.

“This is it.” Tashi led Xiang Xiang Feran to the edge of the lake.

The damp mud was secured by densely intertwined grass roots, causing the mountaineering boots to sink slightly. On the gray-yellow grass, a few clusters of flowers were half-opened. Xiang Xiang Feran squatted down, his fingertips supporting one of them.

“Is this Gentiana?” Tashi asked with concern.

Xiang Xiang Feran did not answer him immediately, instead, he took out a magnifying glass from his jacket pocket, kneeling on the mud, carefully observing its form through the glass lens.

Stem, veins, leaf axils, corolla, stigma… he identified each one from shape to structure, patterns.

Tashi and Shang Mingbao rested their hands on their knees, bending down, waiting for Xiang Feran’s answer. Since Xiang Feran didn’t speak, neither did they, not even a breath was audible.

Is this really Gentiana? Truth be told, apart from its very magnificent color, the rest of its appearance was quite ordinary, completely different from what Shang Mingbao had imagined. Looking at it, it seemed more like morning glory… but on this dim and rugged high mountain, it was the only bright color, truly deserving the word “magnificent.”

“I don’t know.” Xiang Feran maintained a half-squat position, the hand holding the magnifying glass resting on his knee.

“Don’t know?” Tashi was surprised, not expecting this answer.

Could there be something he doesn’t know? Tashi was deeply impressed by Xiang Feran’s ability to identify plants in the wild. Not only could he recognize them, but he could also explain their origins, names in Tibetan medicine books, and local common names. He never showed off, when asked, he answered, naming the family, genus, and species. For those difficult to identify, like Rhododendrons, notoriously hard to distinguish, he cautiously only mentioned the genus name, never pretending to know for the sake of it.

Tashi had never asked him how many plants he could accurately identify, in his mind, Xiang Feran knew the entire world.

Xiang Feran pondered, “It does look very similar in form, but at this altitude, low temperature, and in March, it shouldn’t be here. Unless in the past period, the weather here has been consistently warming up, or there’s something special about the soil, moisture, or fungi.”

He raised his head and said to Shang Mingbao, “You take photos, I’ll collect samples.”

He needed to take them back for a more detailed identification.

Shang Mingbao immediately nodded, taking out her camera from her backpack. In these past two days, she had progressed rapidly, meticulous in her work, making Xiang Feran completely trust her with this task.

Xiang Feran collected a complete plant, placed it in the collection bag, labeled it with a barcode, and recorded the collection time, location, altitude, habitat, weather, and phenological period in the phone document. In the collector section, he wrote down his, Shang Mingbao, and Tashi’s full names.

After they finished, Tashi’s cigarette was also finished, he reminded, “Xiang Feran, the weather is getting worse, we should head back early.”

Returning along the same path, their pace quickened. The wind howled, blowing from behind, as if urging them on, creating a sense of urgency. Looking up, the sky was dark, like snowflakes on a TV losing signal—this was a simile that neither Shang Mingbao nor Xiang Feran could think of, appearing in Tashi’s mind.

Suddenly, it grew dark.

Xiang Feran helped Shang Mingbao secure her headlamp, holding her hand tightly, his voice steady, “Follow me, hold on to me.”

His palm was warm, with a moist sweat, yet his fingertips were cold.

The scene was terrifying, the wind rushing down from the snowy peaks sounded like a baby’s cry, cutting through the air like blades, causing Shang Mingbao to keep her eyes shut throughout, tears welling up in her eyes.

Finally reaching a flat area, she realized her legs were trembling violently. But she didn’t let Xiang Feran see through her, or else he would have a reason not to bring her next time, venturing into such a storm alone.

Mountain weather can change abruptly, from the meadows down to the grasslands, the sunset light pierced through the clouds, shining brightly at the edge of the woods.

They heard the sound of Daru’s bell again.

Shang Mingbao felt a sense of returning from the brink of death, unreal. Looking back, dark clouds loomed over the mountaintop, feeling like a world apart.

They couldn’t descend the mountain today, they would have to wait until early tomorrow. Tashi warned that the rain clouds would soon descend here, so they had to keep it simple.

After quickly finishing dinner and washing up, they each returned to their tents—the wind arrived as expected.

Shang Mingbao was instructed to stay in the tent while Xiang Feran went out with Tashi to check the tent pegs of the three tents.

The tents made a loud flapping sound like flags fluttering in the wind. Shang Mingbao sat on her sleeping bag, knees bent, staring at the headlamp, paying attention to the outside movements. She was worried that she hadn’t secured the tent pegs properly, potentially adding extra work for Xiang Feran at this moment— or worse, what if they were suddenly blown away and hurt him?

Compared to when she first learned he was going to Wisconsin in winter for a diversity survey, her imagination of the harshness and danger of the outdoors now had concrete images and details.

Just as she was about to crawl out to take a look, the zipper was pulled open, and Xiang Feran came in, grabbing two loose sheets of paper that were about to be blown away.

After closing the outer tent door, he took off his hiking boots, hearing Shang Mingbao nervously ask, “Could the tent be blown away while we sleep?”

Xiang Feran chuckled, “No, I’ve checked, you did a good job with the tent pegs.”

Shang Mingbao breathed a sigh of relief, listening to the eerie cries outside, feeling a sense of being in a fortress at the end of the world.

“Will Daru be blown away?” She realized she hadn’t heard the bell ringing for a long time.

“No, Tashi took him inside the cabin.”

“But he’ll be hungry at night.”

That little donkey was too greedy, Shang Mingbao could always hear it grazing in the middle of the night, along with its mischievous attempts to nudge her tent.

Xiang Feran closed the inner tent door, smiling, “Why do you worry about so many things, huh?”

Shang Mingbao sat hugging her knees, watching his movements. It wasn’t until he finished his tasks that she knelt down, stretched her upper body forward, and kissed him on the corner of his lips.

Xiang Feran then pulled her into his arms, gazing down at her, “Are you scared?”

Shang Mingbao nodded.

Outdoor work wasn’t always about poetry and distant lands, it was about accidents and emergencies, it was about enduring harsh conditions.

“Will you come again next time?”

Shang Mingbao nodded vigorously, without hesitation.

Xiang Feran narrowed his eyes, his gaze dark and intense on her face. Instead of asking her why she found it difficult and scary but still wanted to come, he placed his hand on her cheek. As his eyes deepened, the hand caressing her face gradually tightened until it clutched her jawbone, forcing her slender neck to tilt upward, her swan-like head resting in his embrace.

He kissed down, amidst the rustling wind.

No one knew it was snowing outside. Snowflakes fell on the tent, it should have been very cold, but Shang Mingbao was so hot he wanted to take off his clothes.

The night was long, from now until bedtime, there were still five full hours.

The wind was so strong that he wasn’t afraid of Tashi hearing any strange noises.

The down sleeping bag was compressed and warm. Her sanitary pad had not been inserted since this morning, replaced by a thin liner. But this cottony white thing felt clean when applied, and still looked clean when taken off. After cleaning herself, she added a new one just in case.

The kiss warmed up in such a way, it wasn’t blood being defended against, but something warm, clear, and bright.

His fingertips touched the smooth skin, Xiang Feiran gently twisted and dabbed it onto Shang Mingbao’s nose: “What does it smell like?”

A watery smell, with a strange hint of sweetness.

He kissed her nose, then went to kiss her lips. Shang Mingbao wanted to avoid it, but he held her chin firmly, kissing her until she gasped for breath.

After making sure she was comfortable, he looked at her as if asking for consent: “With hands or mouth?”

Shang Mingbao bit her lip hard, her black hair messy on the blue sleeping bag, shaking her head.

“Neither?” Xiang Feiran raised an eyebrow, his warm and deep voice devoid of tone.

Shang Mingbao looked at him from bottom to top, her lips pursed and she remained silent for a moment.

Her eyes seemed to say she had made up her mind.

The howling in the wilderness was loud, but everything inside the tent was still vivid. As the zipper was pulled down, Xiang Feiran could still endure the calm on his face, but when she lifted him with her gentle hands, a string in his mind buzzed and snapped.

He used all his patience, his breath long and tight, his heart heavy as he said, “Baby, not here.”