Chapter 69

When taking a taxi back, a silence filled the car. The enthusiastic Chinese-American taxi driver, who initially had much to chat about, soon noticed that the passengers were a car full of sulking people and decided to play lively music instead.

Fang Suining sat in the back seat with her bag, her neck and shoulders stiff, eyes wide as saucers, her CPU constantly overloaded, and smoke seemingly rising from her head.

In any case, she didn’t get to have the dessert. After Shang Mingbao said that sentence, Fang Suining’s little sunflowers in her mind completed half a circle, and with a ‘clap,’ the sesame sauce and lamb rolls she had just bought from the hotpot restaurant fell to the ground.

Shang Mingbao wanted to gloss over it, awkwardly and stiffly trying to make amends: “I didn’t mean it like that. I was just touched by what Feiran and his girlfriend were talking about, and—”

Before she could finish, Xiang Feiran pulled her into his arms with a swift motion.

His large hand covered half her face, and he said, “Don’t say any more.”

Facing Fang Suining, who was stunned and present, he stated directly: “It’s exactly as you see it.”

Shang Mingbao’s face turned completely red. She momentarily detached from her own sadness, stumbling over her words: “Suining, I didn’t mean to hide it from you. Today I was supposed to… I…”

Xiang Feiran’s language function was clearer than hers, saying directly: “I was going to tell you today, but she overestimated herself.”

“No, no, no,” Fang Suining also started to stutter and, unusually, blushed. “It’s my fault. It’s my words that put pressure on Babe…”

“No, no, no!” Shang Mingbao waved her hands. “I just didn’t know how to face you…”

“No, no, no!” Fang Suining waved her hands and shook her head. “I know you were worried I couldn’t accept it. I understand…”

Chinese conversations in Flushing are not exactly private, and soon, curious onlookers began to cast glances in their direction. Xiang Feiran decisively called for a cab, pushed them towards the car, and said, “Let’s go back first. We’ll have the dessert another day.”

Getting into the car took some effort.

Fang Suining moved aside, saying, “You two sit in the back.”

Xiang Feiran opened the car door, “I’ll sit in the front.”

Shang Mingbao stepped back, “You two siblings should sit…”

Driver: “Anyone can sit wherever!”

Once in the car, the three who had just been politely deferring to each other now acted out a nearly half-hour-long silent drama.

Fang Suining huddled in the back seat with her bag, her knees together like a schoolgirl, her back drenched in cold sweat.

Shit!

She had been the fool all night!

It wasn’t until they were driving over a bridge that Shang Mingbao softly said to Fang Suining, “I’m sorry…”

Fang Suining responded with her usual self-reproach, “It’s okay, it’s okay. I should be the one saying sorry.”

Being too polite had only driven them further apart.

Shang Mingbao didn’t know what more to say. Fang Suining took out her phone and started scrolling through it seriously.

The glittering skyline of Manhattan across the river made Fang Suining dizzy. The IG images flowed down like a waterfall, but her mind was a mess. One moment she thought, no wonder Feiran only paid attention to Shang Mingbao, I’m an idiot; the next moment, she thought, tonight I’m a fool; then she wondered when this all started, why there were no signs; then back to feeling like a fool; and then thought, does Shang Mingbao know he’s an anti-marriage advocate? Then again, I’m really a fool…

Xiang Feiran rolled down the car window, letting the breeze from the East River blow in, dispelling the stuffiness. He then took out his phone and sent Shang Mingbao a message: “I’ll handle it.”

The taxi first went to the Upper East Side.

Xiang Feiran got out and said to her, “Take a hot shower, get a good night’s sleep. I guarantee tomorrow will be like before.”

Shang Mingbao, filled with self-reproach, said, “I should have said it. Today could have been fine, it’s my—”

Xiang Feiran rubbed her face gently, “It’s not your fault. Suining is still a child, and you’re a child too. She doesn’t know how to face you right now. Give her some time.”

Shang Mingbao had to return to the car window, bending down, “Suining, I’m leaving now.” She made a phone gesture, “Let me know when you get home.”

Fang Suining nodded, briefly looking up at the grand five-story villa outside the window.

When she got back into the car, Xiang Feiran sat in the back seat and gave the driver the address of a cocktail bar.

Fang Suining, with her sweaty palms covering her face, lamented, “Why did you two hide everything from me? I even told Babe today that I probably wouldn’t get along with your girlfriend.”

Xiang Feiran: “…”

Fang Suining muttered, “No wonder she backed out…”

Xiang Feiran, amused by her, said, “So, are you getting along now?”

Fang Suining, downcast, replied, “It’s not about getting along now. It’s just so awkward.”

“Awarded awkward about what?”

“I considered her a good friend…”

“Does that mean you can’t be friends anymore?”

“Not really…” Fang Suining thought for a moment, “Don’t try to apply your logic here. This situation is beyond logic; it’s all emotions.”

At the cocktail bar, after downing a martini, her mood eased slightly, and she asked directly, “Does she know you’re an anti-marriage advocate?”

Xiang Feiran pressed the coaster with his fingertips, “What do you think?”

“I think you wouldn’t lie to her, but it’s a strange situation,” Fang Suining rested her chin on her hand, “Didn’t she discuss marriage views with you before?”

During their summer camp days, they used to talk about celebrities and love before bed, meandering through topics filled with youthful longing.

Fang Suining remembered how Shang Mingbao once told the story of wanting to marry Doraemon as a child, and how her mother’s comment, “But Doraemon still has Nobita; he’s not wholly yours,” made her laugh. From then on, she knew this girl was truly nurtured by love.

“If you didn’t hide it from her, how could she agree to be with you? She’s been educated from a young age to not settle for love. Saying she’s love-struck is a joke; she’s not someone who attracts scumbags due to a lack of love.”

In the dim light of the cocktail bar, with soft music playing, Xiang Feiran’s side profile was cast on the wall.

“Before getting together, it was made clear. She will marry someone else.”

Fang Suining’s expression was a mix of shock or something else. After a moment, she murmured, “Feiran, she must really like you…”

Xiang Feiran nodded.

Fang Suining stared for a moment longer. She always thought Xiang Feiran was resistant to expressing intimacy, not the type to talk openly about love and affection. No one in his life had taught him this. On the contrary, he had witnessed too many tragedies of love and attachment, a brutal shame of being whipped, rejected, and left to rot in the wilderness without a response.

Xiang Wei Shan’s brutality and indifference affected not only the tragic figures of past loves but also made Fang Suining herself feel a sense of dread, fear, and revulsion when seeing him.

Hearing Xiang Feiran say “I love her” directly today shocked Fang Suining. Although she thought it was bearable since the person in question wasn’t present, now reflecting back, she realized the person he loved was sitting right across from him, and he had actually said it aloud.

Fang Suining looked at him and realized, “You lost your composure today, didn’t you? When I talked about her life ideals.”

Xiang Feiran remained silent, which she took as an acknowledgment.

“Are you unwilling to let go?” Fang Suining tried to lighten the mood with a tease, “If you’re unwilling, just hold on tight. Anti-marriage isn’t some unchangeable doctrine. Did you set up a system where you’d die if you got married?”

Xiang Feiran’s lips curved slightly, “Her family environment is very complicated. There’s not much freedom in marriage; the people she can marry are limited to a small circle, and I’m not in that circle.”

Although Fang Suining had doubts, she was, after all, raised in a political family and understood the existence of certain barriers better than ordinary people. Perhaps it was geography, perhaps money, or maybe some faction or alignment… She didn’t ask further questions, sighed, and quietly finished her second martini.

By the time they left the cocktail bar, it was already late at night. Xiang Feiran accompanied her back to her dorm apartment. Before saying goodbye downstairs, Fang Suining abruptly stopped and turned back: “What if you were within her range?”

“What?”

“If you were within her range for marriage choices, would you still hold on to your principles?”

Xiang Feiran did not respond but only said expressionlessly, “Don’t waste energy on impossible hypotheticals.”

Fang Suining smiled and waved her hand, “Alright, alright.”

She was a bit mentally overloaded that night and numbed herself with alcohol. When she woke up the next day, the information gradually reloaded, making her pull at her hair for five minutes.

Xiang Feiran had ordered her to actively contact Shang Mingbao today. When she checked her phone, she found that Shang Mingbao had already reached out, arranging to meet in the evening.

After rehearsing a one-man show in a small theater in Brooklyn for the afternoon, Fang Suining arrived at the location Shang Mingbao had specified, near a pier on the Hudson River.

It was a private helicopter pad. In a state of shock, she was taken onto the helicopter by Shang Mingbao and then they hovered over all of Manhattan.

Fang Suining, who had been living in financial hardship for nearly a year, still struggled to get by. She would normally be dazzled by gold and dollars, but at this moment, she was overwhelmed by the sheer opulence.

“Suining, I hope you feel a bit better,” Shang Mingbao said loudly. “My brothers told me that when you’re feeling down, looking at high places and open spaces will lift your spirits.”

Sitting inside the helicopter with the deafening sound of the rotor above her, Fang Suining, who was afraid of heights, had shaky legs and her hair was tousled by the wind. But she had to admit that the adrenaline rush was exhilarating.

The helicopter flew around Manhattan, passing by the Statue of Liberty, Brooklyn Bridge, Wall Street, Rockefeller Center, Empire State Building, Times Square, and the UN Headquarters… until Fang Suining was nearly blown away. Only then did they land back at the helipad.

She smoothed her hair, which was affected by static, and sincerely said, “You didn’t need to go to such lengths. I’m not that upset. I’m easy to comfort.”

And she didn’t want to spend such a heartfelt moment in a state like this…

“It’s alright,” Shang Mingbao reassured her. “I used to come flying when I was feeling down.”

Fang Suining: “…”

Oh.

She seemed to understand what Xiang Feiran meant by “not within her range of suitors.”

“Are you feeling better now?”

“Superb.”

“I originally planned to use this to cheer up Feiran-ge,” Shang Mingbao said excitedly. “Do you think he would fall for this? He said it was so cheesy last time.”

Fang Suining: “It’s hard not to.”

Shang Mingbao made a mental note, jumped in front of her, and linked her arm. “You’re not angry anymore, right?”

Fang Suining sighed and smiled, “First, this matter was never about being angry; it was just shocking. Second, are you treating me this way because you care about me, or because I’m Xiang Feiran’s cousin?”

Shang Mingbao replied without blinking, “Because I care about you.”

Fang Suining lingered by the river in the damp breeze, her face flushed.

Damn, Xiang Feiran seems to have it too good!

After Xiang Feiran moved to Boston, Fang Suining often took care of or accompanied Shang Mingbao, listening to her talk about their daily life.

Fang Suining understood that when you miss someone too much, just talking about them with others can bring enough joy. If the listener happens to know him and be familiar with him, then the joy is doubled.

When the Columbia University kayaking team participated in a competition, Shang Mingbao took her to the front row seats. It was the best view, with tickets only available to team members. During the competition, Shang Mingbao pointed out one of the Chinese faces and asked her what she thought.

Fang Suining said he had a good figure and decent features. After the competition, introduced by Shang Mingbao, she learned that his name was Wu Baiyan. He was still quite handsome up close but had a bit of a fierce demeanor, not exactly Fang Suining’s type.

After the meal, Wu Baiyan skipped the team celebration and came out to eat alone with the two of them. He was quite a gentleman, but his inherent arrogance was evident, which Fang Suining could sense. After the meal, she vaguely wondered: Could he like Shang Mingbao?

But looking at their interaction, Shang Mingbao treated him more like a younger brother and did not display any feminine charm.

That day, Wu Baiyan added her as a friend. After a brief greeting, he quickly steered the conversation to Shang Mingbao, and Fang Suining was sure he had ulterior motives.

She sent a message: “Hello dear, this is Xiang Feiran’s cousin.”

The next second, he blocked her.

Fang Suining tried to probe indirectly, but Shang Mingbao told her that she and Wu Baiyan were both unfortunate souls; his previous true love was broken up because of family objections. After hearing this, Fang Suining thought, “What a load of nonsense!”

She said solemnly, “Men’s sob stories aren’t credible.”

However, two months later, she learned from a PDF that Mr. Wu had swiftly started and then ended a relationship with a girl. She thought to herself that perhaps he only liked Shang Mingbao casually and wasn’t particularly serious.

Fang Suining’s companionship with Shang Mingbao ended in the spring of the following year. Her long battle with her family had finally concluded, and she flew alone to Paris to study French, preparing to start at a new school and major the next semester. Drama literature, starting over. Fang Suining was not afraid to eat steamed buns, working hard to earn her living. She had learned to nimbly navigate through prolonged strike protests: “Don’t stop me from working!”

While singing opera, Fang Suining once wondered if her family regretted making her study it. There were so many other talents she could have learned, but she chose the national essence. For over a decade, her life was dictated by early morning vocal exercises, abstaining from oil, sugar, spice, and smoke. Occasionally drinking alcohol, she disrupted her life’s path, abandoning everything arranged by her family to drink dew in France.

If they had known how things would turn out, her family certainly wouldn’t have sent her to study opera. But life doesn’t offer foresight, and many loves, once begun, are just that—begun. You plow forward, and it becomes too entrenched to change.

When Fang Suining transferred her understanding to love, she called Xiang Feiran, who was in Boston. She didn’t say anything particularly important, just chatted a bit, and asked, “How are you and babe doing?”

Xiang Feiran and Shang Mingbao were doing well. Navigating long-distance relationships seemed as effortless for them as Fang Suining navigating strike marches.

“Your offer expires next year,” Fang Suining said.

By then, Shang Mingbao would be a senior. They had been together for three years, without arguments, harsh words, overnight grudges, or separations longer than a month. They saw each other every week, always eager to be together.

Time had passed so long that Xiang Feiran began to have nightmares, as if he could hear the ticking of a clock with a countdown pressing on in his dreams.

He had crossed the midpoint of their relationship, with his life’s vacation halfway through. August had passed, and every day from then on moved him closer to the end.

After leaving Harvard, Xiang Feiran was supposed to return to China. Chinese universities and research institutes were already in touch with him, discussing salaries and lab configurations. If it were before, he would have aimed to stay as far away from Xiang Weishan as possible. But after two years of long-distance love, he was reluctant to be far from Shang Mingbao. In the end, only universities and institutes in the Greater Bay Area remained on his shortlist.

Fang Suining’s first year in France was extremely difficult, evident from her social media updates. During that New Year’s, she couldn’t witness her dream soar over Times Square, but during a transcontinental call with Shang Mingbao, she was suddenly asked, “Did you throw away the bag I gave you that summer?”

Fang Suining took a moment to recall—the Hermes Kelly doll she had called counterfeit… the now-discontinued Kelly doll… six years ago, costing over a million…

The bag was so convincingly made that, given Fang Suining’s family background, it wasn’t suitable for her to carry around. After bringing it home, her parents gave her a stern lecture, and it was then put away.

Fang Suining called her nanny, who had raised her, and asked her to send some bags and clothes, mentioning that she was so poor in France she couldn’t even afford H&M. Following her instructions, the nanny included the bag that resembled crocodile skin.

After twenty days of shipping and customs clearance, Fang Suining unboxed the bag in the chill of the New Year and took it to an auction house.

From that day on, the wheels of her life began to turn again.

In May of that year, Fang Suining had the money to go to Cannes.

That May, a Chinese director named Shang Lu won the Best Director award, and a Chinese actor named Ke Yu won the Cannes Best Actor award—both in a tie, double golden awards.

With the surname Shang, there was no need to guess.

Fang Suining knew that Shang Lu had also studied in Paris, and his mentor was a prominent figure she couldn’t yet reach. She also knew many of Shang Lu’s stories, which inspired her. She took photos and shared them with Shang Mingbao, congratulating her younger brother on the award.

Shang Mingbao replied during her jewelry design class, wishing Fang Suining that one day she could sing the national essence in the Paris Opera House.

Fang Suining switched to jewelry design in her sophomore fall semester. Not wanting to delay her graduation by a year, she worked hard to study and earn credits. Liao Yunuo was initially incredulous at her decision to switch majors, asking, “What about me?”

They had a fight and parted on bad terms, but after a couple of days, Shang Mingbao took the initiative to reconcile. However, she was very busy, traveling the global jewelry markets and mines with Shena, balancing her coursework, and attending social events introduced by Wendy. She found it hard to keep up with Liao Yunuo.

Though Liao Yunuo found daily partying and drinking uninteresting, she had grown accustomed to staying out until three or four in the morning. She was tired but felt trapped in the whirlpool. After a period of abstinence, she learned from PDF that she had fallen out of favor at home and was broke. She returned wearing a new haute couture dress and sporting a fresh face and newly sculpted nose.

The day after a hangover, Liao Yunuo occasionally accompanied Shang Mingbao to class and watched her sketch rings.

“When I get married in the future, I want to wear a ring you design,” she said, basking in the sunlight through the classroom window, her breath smelling of alcohol.

Shang Mingbao, undisturbed by her hangover breath, replied attentively, “Sure.”

However, Shang Mingbao didn’t design rings often. Her natural talents were so intricate and brilliant that they couldn’t yet be well-consolidated in such a small domain. She preferred designing necklaces, brooches, and watch dials, researching the best setting techniques and metal frameworks.

Yet, on Liao Yunuo’s birthday the following year, Shang Mingbao had forgotten and sent her gift a day late. She had once rushed to the police station during Wendy’s party to bail her out. Liao Yunuo had been caught drunk driving and denied using drugs. On the cold benches of the police station, Shang Mingbao knelt beside her, holding her hand, “Cheese, find something to do. Focus on your classes, okay?”

She was nearly expelled from school.

Liao Yunuo did work hard for a while but was overwhelmed by her many friends and their various exciting lives. She was so busy she couldn’t keep up with her studies. When her mother told her that her father’s illegitimate daughter had a GPA of 3.8, she remained silent, thinking that’s why she had to work so hard. Not wanting to compare, she maintained a minimal GPA and attendance to avoid expulsion, supporting a bunch of paper-writing services.

That Christmas, Shang Mingbao did not receive an invitation from Liao Yunuo.

At first, she did not notice because Christmas was the anniversary for her and Xiang Feiran. When she did realize and asked, Liao Yunuo just smiled and said, “If I invited you, you wouldn’t come, and if I didn’t invite you, you’d only notice now. It doesn’t matter, does it?”

Standing under the Bethlehem star at Rockefeller Center for yet another year, she looked up and understood what it meant to wish for osmanthus flowers while carrying wine, but it was not like youthful adventures.

Xiang Feiran embraced her, holding her face close, and told her that it was not her responsibility.

In the American countryside during spring, summer, and autumn, each season had its own beauty. On the Indiana dunes, she watched the geese fly south, crossing the blue ice sheets; at the Kankakee River at dusk, she saw fireflies light up the twilight. There, Xiang Feiran found a flower called the “Scabious Mallow,” dense and fragrant, in rose color. He told her it was one of the rarest wildflowers in America, only growing downstream of this river.

On their last day traveling in the wild under the sky, he and she set aside time and, according to the “Linnaeus Flower Clock” and the blooming times of flowers, guessed which time of day it was.

On the night of the Nebralla River, with yellow primroses and Drummond’s rain lilies blooming, Xiang Feiran read her “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” telling her it was his favorite Shakespearean work and the best literary work about plants in history.

They had also seen rattlesnakes on the dunes. Even in the off-road vehicle, Shang Mingbao dared not move.

It was incredible that in the summer of August, their car stopped in the middle of the dunes, and they watched a Perseid meteor shower together. As the shower poured down, Shang Mingbao kissed him recklessly, as if the celestial fragments, like daylight, would smash down on them and melt them away.

In the back seat of the off-road vehicle, with the front seats pushed as far back as possible, the desert night was so cold, but Shang Mingbao was sweating under the blanket. That night, they were somewhat out of control; under the starry dome, she pressed her rosy lips against his burning skin, her face close, her sweat-drenched hair trailing on his porcelain-white skin.

Of course, most of the time, fieldwork was not romantic but dull. Setting up sample plots, every hundred meters in a one-kilometer-long forest plot, setting up a ten-meter-by-ten-meter plot, and every hundred meters in vertical elevation, setting up a plot, hundreds of plots, and drawing diagonals in the same plot to set up shrub and herbaceous layers, sampling, identifying, and summarizing every detail; measuring canopy height, cover, recording continuously… to understand the vegetation composition and biodiversity of the mountain, forest, and river.

Such work could not be completed by just the two of them. Xiang Feiran often brought a small team, while Shang Mingbao occasionally assisted but mostly did her own plant observations and sketches, which inspired her jewelry designs.

While cultivated garden plants were indeed luxurious and beautiful, leading to intricate high jewelry designs, after seeing the wilderness, delving into rainforests, and lying down to look at the sky among the grasses, marveling at the rose-colored fluorescence on misty rivers, she was unwilling to stop there.

It was regrettable that the “Linnaeus Flower Clock,” such a good artistic concept, was preempted by other brands. Otherwise, she could have designed something even more vibrant. She used to like a brand with a long history of designing pansies but no longer liked it since learning that pansies were called “idle flowers” in Shakespeare’s hometown. It symbolized “futile love.”

Shang Mingbao did not think about the future.

The ideal of marrying her beloved before twenty-five was no longer desired. How many years? She did not know.

Waking up from a dream in the night, dreaming that Xiang Feiran told her it was time to end, she realized tears had been flowing in the dream for a long time. She wiped them away, knowing he must be asleep in Boston at that time, so she did not call to wake him but only looked at his profile picture.

That side profile in the blue twilight among the mountains was taken by her, forcing him to use it, and he had not changed it for years.

She had never doubted he would fall for someone else, just as he had never doubted she would change her affections.

Firmly, wholly devoted.

Sophie first asked if she and Feiran had not broken up. Later, Sophie said Feiran might not be able to support himself while dating her. Occasionally staying in the Upper East Side, Sophie stayed far away, flying kites in Central Park.

Shang Mingbao suddenly dared to think about the day in the future when Wen Youyi would call her.

Her words were so subtle, pretending not to know who she was dating, saying the previous one, Xiang Bo, was also not bad for introducing to the second sister.

Shang Mingbao asked how it was not bad, saying she had already dismissed him, and his family was inconvenient.

Wen Youyi said on the phone, “It’s not impossible.”

She searched through Shang Boying’s letters and found no trace of the old man’s mention of this matter. She had to review Xiang Lianqiao’s promotion and assignments. Shang Mingbao had not broken up, so Wen Youyi kept observing.

She did not know when it would end, as this step posed too high a risk for the Shang family’s future. She checked, as if in self-deception.

However, Xiang Lianqiao’s health was not as good as before. In his twilight years, Wen Youyi suddenly grasped a hint of possibility from the harsh laws of life.

“Mommy, what does ‘it’s not impossible’ mean?” On the other end of the phone, Shang Mingbao tightened her grip on the phone, her fingers whitening, her ear hurting.

“If you really like him, it’s okay to try boldly.” Wen Youyi’s hint stopped there.

This year, in the month before Xiang Feiran was to return to the country, the Dim mist floating before Shang Mingbao’s eyes was suddenly blown away.

She can…

Can they…?