Chapter 100

Fu Yu spoke in a very open and relaxed tone: “Because my parents have a good relationship, and I’ve seen the optimal solution within one type of human institutional framework, so I want to try another path.”

Shang Mingbao could no longer hear their conversation clearly; she was oblivious to Xiang Feiran’s response or tone, only aware that the black waves were continuously washing away all sounds around her.

The mechanical shutter sound operated softly, followed by a “whoosh” as a small firework soared into the night sky.

“Eh, there are other people here?” Fu Yu asked, bending down to check the long exposure photo they had just taken, muttering, “Fortunately, it was taken after the shutter sound, or the photo would be ruined.”

In the preview frame, the starry night glittered, with the Milky Way displaying a deep gemstone glow.

The firework sounds burst one after another in the sky, causing people to stir, looking up from their tents, campfires, and the beach.

Director Yang, holding a chunk of watermelon, looked at the fireworks and asked Hui Wen, “Did you prepare these?”

Hui Wen smiled and said, “No, it’s probably the kids from the nearby village.”

This wild beach was not deserted; otherwise, there wouldn’t be a ready-made dirt road that a pickup truck could drive into. It was likely that kids from a nearby village came here to play with firecrackers.

As the night deepened and the sea calmed, the few small fireworks appeared lonely, like two drops of orange soda splashed on the vast cosmic backdrop.

The fireworks soon fizzled out, and everyone returned to their activities.

A few teenagers from junior and senior high school ran around on the beach, stopping with alert and suspicious expressions when they saw the adults approaching.

“Hey! Is it ‘German’?” they asked in the local dialect.

Xiang Feiran didn’t understand, standing still, with a cigarette burning at his fingertips. “Did you set off the fireworks?”

The faint light of the stars and moon framed his brows and eyes; he was not “German,” but a stranger of Han ethnicity.

One of the slightly older kids stepped forward and replied, “We did. What’s up?”

“Do you have more?”

“Yes.”

“Do you have bigger ones?”

The older kid stood awkwardly, his fingers fidgeting, seeming unsure how to respond. Another boy with a buzz cut was more alert: “Are you a cop?”

Xiang Feiran smiled, “No.”

On the white sand beach covered with sprawling sea buckthorn, the firework tubes still emitted the scent of sulfur.

“There’s some in Park Chong’s shop,” a girl said, “They have ones this big.”

She gestured with her hands, indicating the size of a watermelon.

“Is it far?”

“Not far,” the girl said, pointing to three electric scooters on the embankment. “It’s quick to ride, about ten minutes.”

Xiang Feiran took out his phone, transferred money to the biggest kid, and asked him to buy a few more packs of fireworks.

The boys ran barefoot on the beach, and one of them, running backward, asked, “Do you want us to leave a couple of people to wait for you in case we don’t come back?”

The tall and cool man said indifferently, “If you don’t come back, so be it.”

In the blink of an eye, the high school students had left the beach, the riders starting their electric scooters, and those being carried shouted loudly, “Hey—We’ll be back!”

Xiang Feiran lay down on the beach, with the cigarette butt stuck into the fine white sand, his hands resting behind his head.

There might be snakes or other crawling animals here, but it didn’t matter. The sea buckthorn was entering its fruiting season, with white fruits like pearls, mixed with the scent of mouse thorn flowers. The Milky Way dimmed as the night’s moisture gathered into clouds.

Half an hour later, the kids returned as promised, with several bundles of fireworks stacked on the electric scooter’s footrest and in the back seat, totaling six or seven bundles of fireworks.

Xiang Feiran pulled out the cigarette he had stuck into the sand, reignited it, and approached the fuse.

The kids sat cross-legged at the edge of the beach, watching his actions intently. At the sound of the whistle, they all looked up, gazing at the night sky.

The fireworks exploded in the sky, far more impressive than the small bursts from before, with red fireworks turning into golden teardrops as they fell, etching themselves onto her retina.

The people in the tents emerged like meerkats again, gazing at the inexplicable sky show.

Essie found Shang Mingbao’s tent and lifted the flap, saying, “Sis, look at the fireworks—”

Inside the tent, there was no one. The sleeping bag was disheveled, and the lilac-colored sketch on the loose-leaf notebook was only half-drawn.

On the black, winding coastline, a solitary figure stumbled about, illuminated intermittently by the glowing sky and the golden teardrops of fireworks, appearing so thin and insignificant.

Following the sound of the fireworks forward would lead her there.

The voice echoed repeatedly in her mind, along with the memory of the New Year’s Eve she missed in downtown Manhattan. The sky lit up by fireworks, buildings stacked high on street corners, one layer over another, but Xiang Feiran had told her, “Follow the sound of the fireworks forward”—

And she would reach the place lit up by the fireworks.

The fireworks continued, one after another, without a pause, too fast to keep track of.

Slow down, don’t let them finish so quickly.

The wind blew sand into her eyes, and Shang Mingbao blinked, unsure of where her obsession and urgency were coming from.

Perhaps he hadn’t set them off. Perhaps he wasn’t there. Perhaps he was there, but standing with someone else.

She felt like a desperate fool, clinging to the ephemeral beauty of the scene as a token of hope.

When the last firework ascended into the sky, she didn’t realize it was the final one, still praying it wouldn’t end so soon.

The sky trembled as if it might shake down all the stars.

Shang Mingbao waited for a while, but no new fireworks appeared. Her stumbling footsteps gradually came to a halt as she looked up at the night sky, where, after the deafening explosions, there was only silence.

Her face was no longer illuminated.

The darkness deepened.

The wind at her ears shifted from gentle to fierce. She lost her sense of direction, only following the guiding scent of sulfur in the air.

Running too quickly, she brushed past someone.

“Sorry.” She was steadied by someone but did not turn back, hurrying forward.

The warmth in her arms turned cold again as Xiang Feiran stopped, watching her retreating figure. In reality, he couldn’t see clearly, just a blurred outline.

For some reason, he smiled and turned back, heading towards the campsite.

She finally reached the place where the fireworks were set off.

A few teenagers were struggling to move the cardboard tubes to the embankment. Seeing someone approach, they waited. The person from earlier had given them extra money to take away the trash.

There was no Xiang Feiran here.

Shang Mingbao’s eyes frantically searched. How could there be Xiang Feiran here?

“Fireworks…” Her face’s frantic panic paused, leaving only a series of heavy breaths. “Did you set them off?”

The fireworks were just kids from the nearby village playing, but she had mistaken them as a sign of love.

How desperate she was.

“No,” one of the girls looked at her more closely and, seeing her bowing to leave, pointed to a direction, “It was another person.”

Shang Mingbao raised her eyes.

“Tall, and he left.”

The night sea was extremely terrifying; without light, everything turned into black unknowns, like a vortex ready to swallow a person—

Realizing this, thinking of the tidal wild beach, and wondering if there were any underwater cliffs, Xiang Feiran’s steps suddenly stopped, and his distracted expression became serious.

Just to ensure her safety, he turned back to check.

Their hurried steps collided.

“Mm.” Shang Mingbao covered her nose, feeling a sharp pain as if her nasal bone were breaking.

She was fine.

In the thick darkness, Xiang Feiran swallowed and withdrew his steadying hands, turning silently.

“Don’t go!” Shang Mingbao desperately hugged him from behind, the sting in her nose uncertain if it was from the recent impact or something else, “Don’t go, Feiran… you came back for me, didn’t you?”

“Just afraid you might get hurt.”

“I am hurt.” Shang Mingbao quickly said, “I lost my shoes and walked barefoot, my feet are cut by glass.”

Xiang Feiran was silent for a moment, “Let go.”

“I won’t let go.” Shang Mingbao shook her head stubbornly, “If I let go, you’ll leave. I can’t catch up with you, your legs are longer.”

In Central Park, what was supposed to be a walk turned into a brisk jog because his stride was twice as long as hers.

“If you don’t let go, how can I see your injury?”

Shang Mingbao hesitated, loosening her tight grip, making small talk, “The fireworks were set off by you, right?”

Xiang Feiran remained unmoved, tilting his chin, “Sit down.”

Shang Mingbao complied, sitting down and watching as Xiang Feiran opened the flashlight on his phone, “Left foot or right foot?”

Shang Mingbao kept both feet firmly in the sand.

Xiang Feiran waited, his face illuminated by the gentle light, “I’m asking you.”

Shang Mingbao’s anxious expression betrayed her—she had lied; she had lost her shoes, but there were no glass shards cutting her feet.

Xiang Feiran was silent for a moment, turning off the flashlight. Just as he was about to get up, Shang Mingbao threw herself at him.

It was a clumsy and desperate lunge, without technique, just an all-or-nothing plunge, pressing her entire weight against Xiang Feiran.

With a muffled grunt, Xiang Feiran protected her, unexpectedly falling back onto the sand.

“Don’t go, don’t rush away, don’t ignore me,” Shang Mingbao choked up, holding back the bitterness in her nose and confusion in her heart, saying words driven by instinct, “Smile at me, talk to me, be curious about me… pay attention to me, okay?”

“Don’t go?” In the night, Xiang Feiran, unmindful of the stones and sand digging into his back, gave a self-deprecating laugh. “Shang Mingbao, it was you who insisted on leaving back then. I was the one abandoned.”

How dare she try to keep someone who was cast aside from moving forward?

“That’s not true, I didn’t abandon you,” Shang Mingbao denied without hesitation.

“Dare to do it but not admit it?” Xiang Feiran coldly retorted, his lips curling into a slight arc.

“…”

“Get up.” He said firmly.

When a push didn’t move her, Shang Mingbao wrapped her arms around his neck, her weight pressing heavily against him.

After over a year of warmth and fragrance, he could tolerate that one time in the clinic, but he could only endure that one time. Besides, at that time, his heart was focused on her wound, and thinking of these matters felt almost inhuman.

“I won’t get up. If I do, you’ll just leave again, and you won’t listen to me,” Shang Mingbao insisted, not aware of the turmoil inside him.

“There’s a snake.”

“Let it bite,” she said, eyes tightly closed without a thought.

“…”

“Don’t push me anymore.” Shang Mingbao clutched his shoulders tightly. “It hurts, don’t be so rough.”

This statement had an inexplicable magic, making Xiang Feiran stop his actions and ease his strength.

Though his brows were not furrowed, there was an indifference and lack of movement that made one feel that his gaze carried a certain impatience and irritation.

“Shang Mingbao, speak properly and use a normal position,” he commanded.

Shang Mingbao buried her face in his neck, unmoving. “Let’s reconcile, let’s be together again, okay, Feiran-ge.”

The pounding heartbeat was undeniable, like a boulder rolling down a cliff—weightless and dizzying. But there was still a heart at the bottom of the cliff, a mass of flesh and blood shattered into pieces.

Xiang Feiran couldn’t distinguish which piece of flesh was his true heart.

“Have you been stimulated by something?” In the end, he just asked calmly.

“No.”

“Fu Yu?”

When those kids set off fireworks, every tent made a noise, except for the one near him, which remained still, clearly lit and casting shadows, yet the person inside seemed like a wooden figure.

Nothing could escape him, damned sharp and perceptive.

“Yes, no.”

Shang Mingbao couldn’t sort out her own feelings and had to tell him everything. “She’s great, she helped me catch leeches, she’s brave, she studies botany, she’s into science education, she knows your mother and admires her. She… she’s also anti-marriage. I’m not like her; she seems like another version of you made by you. I can’t think of a reason why you wouldn’t notice her or be interested in her. I’m afraid you find being with her comfortable, without needing to compromise or care, that you understand her half a sentence before she even speaks. You’re like-minded… I’m afraid if your gaze shifts, it won’t come back. You’ll think Shang Mingbao is nothing special, that everything in the past was nothing special.”

She spoke rapidly, her sentences broken, fearing he wouldn’t understand, fearing she wasn’t clear enough, becoming more verbose and emphatic.

Xiang Feiran listened seriously and quietly, understanding her words, and casually said, “Thank you. If you hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t have realized how outstanding she is.”

“Huh?” Shang Mingbao was stunned and panicked, stumbling over her words, “No, no, I’m not that bad…”

“Not really?”

A heart-wrenching pain surged with his casual retort, making Shang Mingbao’s body feel lighter with the pain.

“I…” She lifted her face from his neck, dazed and lost, her eyes welling with tears.

It turned out she had become a very poor person in his eyes, and she hadn’t realized it.

“Dressing up in a formal gown to bid me a grand farewell, disappearing for a year and a half without a word, self-indulgently treating our past as nourishment for your jewelry designs, and treating me like this—yet you want me to believe that Shang Mingbao is the most adorable, pure, strong, beautiful, and most in need of my protection person in the world. Do you think that’s reasonable?”

Xiang Feiran touched her face lightly, as if barely there, his gaze penetrating her eyes. “I’m human too, babe.”

A tear, hot and rolling, fell onto his tiger’s mouth, sliding down his arm’s veins, disappearing into the cuff of his rolled-up shirt.

“If it weren’t for this encounter, when were you planning to find me?” Xiang Feiran asked coldly, as if he hadn’t received her tears. “Do you think I would wait for you forever, loving you unconditionally, staring longingly? So you calmly and leisurely fixed yourself, and when you’re done, you’d come back to me? If you fixed yourself well, you’d come back, and if not, it’s over?”

“No,” Shang Mingbao was stunned, shaking her head desperately. “It’s not like that. I think about you every day, I want to see you every day. But I don’t know if it’s because I’m afraid of losing you, or because of my lowly possessiveness, or if I’ve truly fixed myself. I don’t want to hurt you again, I don’t want you to hold on to just a little bit of love from me like a treasure. I will—”

“If you hadn’t just heard Fu Yu say she’s also anti-marriage, would you have come to find me and told me not to leave?” Xiang Feiran interrupted her.

Shang Mingbao paused. “I would, I definitely would.” She said firmly, “Even without her, I planned to invite you to visit my house when I returned to Ning City. I wanted to show you my work and life over the past year. I rushed things today… No, that’s not right.”

She paused, and a light slowly appeared in her thoughts. “I didn’t rush things. It was clearly you who set off fireworks for me, and that’s why I came to find you, and we ended up like this…”

She lowered her eyes, meeting Xiang Feiran’s gaze.

His expression was calm and unruffled, but his eyes held a dimness, slightly narrowed, waiting for her to awaken.

The fireworks were his, the coins he tossed into the sky, determining their fate.

If she hadn’t come…

The thought of this “if” pained her eyes, which suddenly lost all their light and became pitch black.

The chance he gave her was so small, like a spider’s thread in the boundless universe.

She couldn’t bear it any longer. Her skin was covered in sticky, cold sweat, and without time to think, she pressed her lips against his.

This fireworks display would forever explode in her dreams, constantly urging her: Go, hurry up, don’t forget to go, don’t be too late…

How could a kiss be so bitter, devoid of any sweetness, as if kissing underwater, with waves that would scald and drown them.

The desire that had been restrained since their meeting erupted like a volcanic flood, and Xiang Feiran did not hesitate, did not stiffen, did not hold back at all. He firmly pressed his palm against the back of her head, pushing her spine, and kissed her lips.

So disappointing, sorry for the blood he had shed, the consultations with psychologists, the restless nights, the countless doses of melatonin he had taken, and the alcohol he had consumed.

In the moment their lips and tongues mingled, what he thought was how much he truly loved her.

All the resistance, coldness, and self-preservation were just to welcome this failed outcome. This total defeat was to tell himself that he indeed loved her, irreparably.

The world seemed to turn around, and she was pinned beneath him, her eyes wide open, seeing the stars hanging upside down.

Her hands, which had tightly clutched the collar of Xiang Feiran’s shirt, fell away. Beneath her tear-streaked lashes, her gaze was dazed and shaken.

“Shang Mingbao, look at the galaxy.”