Three days later, Minister Rong “committed suicide out of guilt.”

Xiao Lu stepped into the dark and damp prison cell, staring at the body of his teacher. He thought about how his teacher had been a paragon of righteousness, but even in death, he would be cursed by the world, while the true culprit stood beside him, feigning regret and lamenting, “Who would have thought Minister Rong was such a person?”

At that moment, Xiao Lu was filled with boundless rage.

He wanted nothing more than to draw his sword and kill this man!

Embezzling, disregarding superiors, deceiving and concealing, taking innocent lives… all of these crimes were his, and on top of that, he wanted to replace Xiao Lu as emperor!

But Xiao Lu took a deep breath and restrained himself because he wasn’t ready. Striking now would only mean death, and if he died, everything would be lost… He wouldn’t be able to clear his teacher’s name, avenge his mother, or restore peace and justice to the kingdom.

So, he had to endure.

This man had done it on purpose, to serve as a warning to others. He wanted to show Xiao Lu the fate of those who helped him.

He wanted Xiao Lu to know that if he obediently acted as a puppet, he might live.

So Xiao Lu acted as he wished, making him believe he was scared, that he had given in.

He made him think that Xiao Lu’s earlier defiance was merely impulsive, but now, he no longer dared.

From that day onward, Xiao Lu never visited the Rong family again.

His momentary carelessness had led to his teacher’s death. He couldn’t risk endangering the Rong family any further.

He believed that by enduring and retreating, he could make his enemies stop. But he underestimated their cruelty and ruthlessness.

That night was a snowy one.

By the time he received the news and rushed over, it was already too late.

Xiao Lu stood amidst the lifeless bodies, overwhelmed by grief. He hated his own weakness, hated that as an emperor, he couldn’t even protect the people he cared about. Desperately, he searched every corner, hoping someone might still be alive—just one person, anyone… But there was no one left. Not a single soul.

Finally, he reached the familiar, quiet courtyard—the sanctuary in his heart. Now, the cobblestone path was stained with blood. Xiao Lu saw a familiar young figure, lying motionless, with a sword cruelly pinning him to the ground… Xiao Lu’s breath caught, and he couldn’t bring himself to take another step forward.

It felt like one step more, and he would fall into an endless hell.

After a long time, Xiao Lu finally forced himself to walk over, trembling as he gathered the young boy into his arms. His heart almost stopped when he realized that the clothes belonged to the young servant.

His boy was still alive.

At that moment, the coldness in his veins seemed to warm. Xiao Lu had never felt such urgency to find someone. He rode through the falling snow, galloping as if his life depended on it.

Snowflakes drifted down, the wind biting like knives against his face, but Xiao Lu didn’t feel it. Ignoring his guards’ warnings, he finally found a familiar, frail figure in a dim alley.

Xiao Lu’s eyes burned with emotion. Without hesitation, he lifted the boy into his arms. The boy’s body was icy, his eyelashes frosted with snow. When he looked up at Xiao Lu, those dull eyes suddenly lit up with a small spark. With trembling hands, he gripped Xiao Lu’s sleeve, his weak voice pleading, “Please, take me home, okay?”

He was begging him.

Begging Xiao Lu to take him home.

Xiao Lu had never refused any of the boy’s requests before.

But this time, he couldn’t bring himself to say that one simple word: “Okay.”

How could he tell the boy that there was no home to return to? That everything was gone.

He couldn’t bear to tell him such a cruel truth.

Xiao Lu brought the boy back and settled him in a secret residence.

The boy remained unconscious for several days before finally waking up. Xiao Lu suddenly found himself afraid to face him, but he knew avoiding him wouldn’t solve anything. So, he went to see him.

To his surprise, the boy was exceptionally calm. He simply looked at Xiao Lu and said one thing.

He said, “Your Majesty, you will avenge us, won’t you?”

Xiao Lu was stunned. He had never told the boy his true identity, but at that moment, gazing into those clear eyes, Xiao Lu realized that the boy was far more intelligent than he had imagined. Perhaps he wasn’t as oblivious as he seemed, but rather, he simply chose not to say anything. The more Xiao Lu realized this, the more his heart ached for the boy.

Xiao Lu closed his eyes in pain. After a long silence, he finally answered with a single word: “Yes.”

Even if you hadn’t asked, I wouldn’t have let it go. The Chen family will pay for their blood debt.

Xiao Lu told the boy everything—the entire truth.

He didn’t hide anything.

Minister Rong was upright and honest. The Rong family was targeted by the Chen family because they had chosen to support him. Maybe it was due to his own negligence, but somehow, their plans had been exposed, leading to the destruction of the entire Rong family.

Though it wasn’t his intention, the tragedy had been set in motion because of him.

Xiao Lu was filled with self-blame and grief. After explaining everything, he didn’t dare meet the boy’s gaze, afraid of seeing hatred in his eyes. He thought the boy would resent him, hate him…

But he didn’t.

The boy just looked at him quietly and said, “Your Majesty, I don’t hate you.”

Xiao Lu stared at him, dumbfounded.

The boy’s gaze was so clear, so serene, so resolute.

He was like the purest of snow—though his family was gone, and he faced a storm of despair, he didn’t flinch or wallow in self-pity. He faced the harsh reality with strength.

He had grown up so much overnight.

For the first time, Xiao Lu saw clearly that, though the boy’s body was frail, he had the same unyielding spirit as the Rong family. He wasn’t a delicate flower that would wither under adversity.

And that only made Xiao Lu more drawn to him.

Xiao Lu was still walking a tightrope himself, his position precarious. He couldn’t leave the palace often and feared he wouldn’t be able to protect Rong Xuan. After some time, he visited the boy, intending to send him out of the capital, far from danger.

But the boy refused.

He was determined to stay.

Xiao Lu understood that the boy didn’t want to run, understood his desire to face everything head-on. But staying in the capital was dangerous, and the boy’s insistence put him in a difficult position. After much thought, Xiao Lu came up with a suggestion.

The world believed that Rong Xuan had died. If Rong Xuan were to enter the palace disguised as a male concubine, who would suspect that the emperor’s concubine was actually the last living member of the Rong family?

The most dangerous place could be the safest.

It was the only solution Xiao Lu could think of, and this way, he would also get to see the boy more often. Xiao Lu felt ashamed of the selfish desire that flickered within him.

But this plan was degrading to Rong Xuan. Pushing down the desires he couldn’t speak aloud, Xiao Lu resolved to send Rong Xuan out of the capital instead.

To his surprise, Rong Xuan agreed cleanly.

Even when Xiao Lu urged him to reconsider, Rong Xuan’s determination remained unshaken. At this point, if he couldn’t clear his family’s name, what did his identity matter?

All he wanted was to see his enemies brought to justice with his own eyes.

Where he was didn’t matter.

In the end, Xiao Lu agreed to Rong Xuan’s request.

He brought him into the palace.

Within the complex dynamics of the palace, dominated by the empress dowager and the empress, Xiao Lu dared not show Rong Xuan too much attention for fear of attracting danger. But whenever he could, he would visit, bringing little gifts to amuse the boy, chatting with him, playing chess, and drinking tea.

Xiao Lu had walked a thorny path since birth, full of treachery and bloodshed. But only when he was with Rong Xuan could his heart find peace.

The place where the boy was felt different.

He was the only sanctuary in Xiao Lu’s heart.

Xiao Lu could no longer deceive himself—he had fallen for the boy. He had loved him for a very long time.

He cherished every moment spent with him, every smile the boy gave him, the way his clear eyes looked at him… He loved everything about him.

In the dead of night, when Xiao Lu felt weary and defeated, ready to give up, it was the boy’s quiet presence that kept him going. He couldn’t abandon his promise.

He had vowed to avenge him.

Even though they couldn’t see each other every day, just knowing they were in the same city was enough to soothe Xiao Lu’s heart.

He kept his feelings buried deep, knowing he couldn’t speak them aloud.

It wasn’t the right time.

The boy had just lost his family and was hiding away in a corner of the palace. If Xiao Lu confessed his feelings now, it would seem like he was taking advantage of him, disrespecting the person he loved.

So, Xiao Lu restrained himself, continuing to act as a friend, just as he always had.

All he knew was that he couldn’t afford to lose.

Because if he did, everything he was fighting for—including the boy he loved—would be lost.

One day, the empress invited Xiao Lu to dinner and personally cooked a meal for him. Xiao Lu expressed his delight, acting as if he were overjoyed.

Though she was the daughter of his enemy, this woman loved him, and Xiao Lu was willing to use any means necessary to win. Only by placating the empress could he convince her family and the empress dowager that they had nothing to fear from him. However, the empress unexpectedly mentioned his male concubine, causing Xiao Lu to grow cautious. Though he had concealed his emotions well, the woman’s suspicions had likely been aroused.

Xiao Lu decided to distance himself from Rong Xuan for a while, assigning trusted eunuchs to watch over him.

At this point, his plan was nearing its critical moment. The arrogant and ruthless behavior of the General of State had driven more and more people to side with Xiao Lu. The court was a battlefield of hidden tensions, and Xiao Lu had too much to deal with. Once he crushed his enemies and secured power, he could finally be with the boy he loved…

Finally, the day arrived.

The night before he made his move, Xiao Lu visited Rong Xuan.

The boy looked more frail than ever, and Xiao Lu was filled with guilt, realizing he had neglected him. But the boy gently reassured him, his eyes bright and warm, saying he was always like this and that there was nothing to worry about.

The boy had always been this way.

Even though he lived in isolation, his life bleak and lonely, he never complained, never asked for anything, always quietly supporting Xiao Lu, even easing his worries when he felt troubled.

True strength wasn’t just physical—it was also of the heart. The boy had been supporting him all along, helping him in his own way, giving Xiao Lu hope and light.

Yet, Xiao Lu had let him suffer.

Before leaving, Xiao Lu gently lifted the boy into his arms. His body was even more frail than before, as light as a feather. In that moment, Xiao Lu’s chest tightened with a bittersweet feeling. There were so many words he wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

In the end, he simply looked at the boy with quiet determination and said, “When all this is over, we’ll be together, out in the open. Is that alright with you?”

The boy’s eyes lit up instantly, glowing with happiness as he stared at Xiao Lu. “Will it really be over soon?”

Xiao Lu replied, “Yes.”

The boy’s face was filled with joy, a long-forgotten light sparkling in his eyes. After a moment, he seemed to realize the deeper meaning behind Xiao Lu’s words, and his face flushed with embarrassment.

But he didn’t avoid the question. Instead, he gazed at Xiao Lu earnestly and nodded.

At that moment, Xiao Lu’s heart felt ablaze.

There was nothing sweeter than the joy of mutual love.

In a surge of emotion, Xiao Lu embraced the boy once more, his gaze filled with tenderness. He removed the jade pendant he had worn for over a decade and carefully placed it in the boy’s hand, promising with every word, “I won’t ever let you down.”

Just wait for me a little longer…

After tomorrow, I’ll give you a future full of light, a vast world where we can be together.

I’ll take you to see all the rivers and mountains.

That’s my promise to you.

Thank you for staying by my side.

Thank you for appearing before me.

My journey has been long and filled with hardship, but your presence is the greatest gift the heavens have granted me.

Xiao Lu left the palace.

His heart was filled with hope, knowing that the next night would be the decisive battle. If he succeeded, he would be a true emperor, free to be with the one he loved.

He had waited too long for this day.

The next day, Xiao Lu summoned the General of State to the palace under the pretense of important matters. For nearly a decade, the general had come and gone freely within the palace walls. He had grown complacent, believing Xiao Lu was nothing more than a declawed cat, docile under his control.

People often grow careless in the face of constant threats, falling into the traps they believe impossible.

Xiao Lu had endured for over ten years, all for this day.

The empress dowager was in her palace, watching a dance performance. Her maids knelt around her, massaging her legs, peeling grapes, while a table of fine wine was set nearby. She was delighted to hear that her brother had entered the palace and invited him to sit down. The two siblings laughed and chatted, as if they were the true rulers of the palace, and Xiao Lu was nothing but a figurehead.

None of them had ever taken Xiao Lu seriously.

Until countless arrows rained down upon them, turning them into human sieves before they could even react. Everything ended so abruptly.

When Xiao Lu walked in, the General of State was still alive, barely hanging on. His eyes were wide with disbelief as he looked at Xiao Lu, filled with hatred, regret, and confusion. He couldn’t comprehend how this had happened, how he had died like this.

Xiao Lu slowly walked over to the man who had caused him so much suffering and humiliation, watching coldly as the life drained from him.

From now on, no one would stand in his way.

Calmly, he ordered his men to clean up the scene. Before the news could spread, he sent his trusted subordinates to eliminate the general’s allies. When dealing with enemies, you had to cut them down to the root, leaving no trace behind.

That was something he had learned from them.

After everything was done, Xiao Lu’s thoughts immediately turned to the boy. He couldn’t wait to tell him the good news.

To tell him that they would no longer need to hide, no longer need to live in fear.

But just as Xiao Lu stepped out of Shoukang Palace, he saw one of his trusted aides, covered in blood, kneeling before him. Bowing low, the man confessed that he had failed in his duty—Rong Xuan had been taken by the empress’s people.

Xiao Lu’s vision nearly blacked out. His eyes burned with fury as he raced toward Fengwu Palace.

The palace was engulfed in flames, the scorching heat roaring around him, consuming everything in its path…

Without hesitation, Xiao Lu charged forward. His boy was still inside. He had to get in and save him. He had to save him!

But his men held him back with all their might, refusing to let him through.

The fire raged on for an entire day and night.

When it finally died down, Xiao Lu staggered into the ruins of the palace, dazed and lost. He wandered through the charred remains until he reached the main hall, now reduced to ashes, and found a body, burned beyond recognition. He didn’t want to believe it, couldn’t accept that it was real. He would have preferred for everything to be an illusion, a nightmare.

Until he saw the shattered jade pendant, still clutched in the body’s hand. Even in death, its owner had held onto it, as if it were the last precious thing they had, the only thing they wanted to keep…

Xiao Lu lifted his head, feeling the sting of tears.

He had thought he wouldn’t cry.

But it seemed he still could.

We were so close to succeeding.

It was all about to end.

Why didn’t you wait for me just a little longer…

If only you had waited for one more day.

Just one more day.

Then, I could have taken you away from there myself. I could have told you in person that your revenge had been fulfilled, that you no longer needed to endure anything. I would have given you the highest place of honor in the world. I would have found the finest doctors to heal you, and we would have traveled the world together. There are so many things I wanted to do with you. I hoped you’d be with me for the rest of my life…

The promises I made to you, I haven’t fulfilled them yet…

How could you just leave like that?

Xiao Lu drifted in a daze, not even sure how he had left the palace. He didn’t know where to go. At that moment, it felt as if all his patience, all his hard work, had been for nothing.

His men had rounded up everyone from the empress’s palace.

The once arrogant maids and eunuchs were now weeping, kneeling before him. With their mistress gone, they had lost their only support. All they wanted was to beg for their lives. They claimed that everything they had done to Rong Xuan had been at the empress’s orders. They hadn’t dared disobey her.

That was how Xiao Lu finally learned what Rong Xuan had gone through.

After entering the palace, the empress had summoned Rong Xuan, making him kneel for three hours. Xiao Lu now remembered that the next day, when he had visited the boy, Rong Xuan had been resting in bed, only saying that he had caught a cold and wasn’t feeling well. He hadn’t spoken a word against the empress…

The empress must have sensed his feelings for Rong Xuan long ago.

No matter how careful he had been, the empress had noticed. Perhaps it was a woman’s intuition.

Even though Xiao Lu had been unaware, the empress had been tormenting Rong Xuan in secret. That was why the boy had fallen ill so often—not because of his weak constitution, but because he had been repeatedly injured. Yet, despite it all, he had never told Xiao Lu, not wanting to burden him.

In a fit of madness, Xiao Lu slaughtered everyone in the empress’s palace!

He killed them all.

Xiao Lu stepped out of Fengwu Palace.

His sword was pressed against the throat of the eunuch he had trusted to care for Rong Xuan.

This was the man who had been responsible for bringing the boy his medicine. He couldn’t have been ignorant of what had been happening.

Xiao Lu’s voice was hoarse, his eyes bloodshot, as he asked, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The eunuch knelt calmly before him, showing no fear despite the blade at his neck. He seemed to have expected this outcome long ago. Softly, he explained, “The young master didn’t want me to tell you. He said you were already overwhelmed with the burdens of the kingdom and didn’t want you to be distracted by these small matters.”

Xiao Lu’s fury exploded. His sword pressed deeper, his voice trembling with rage, “So you said nothing?!”

The eunuch didn’t move, speaking mechanically, “I have failed your trust, Your Majesty. I couldn’t protect the young master. I deserve death. Please punish me.”

Xiao Lu’s hand shook as he held the sword.

Then, suddenly, his grip loosened, and the sword fell uselessly to the ground.

Yes, the eunuch deserved to die. He had failed to stop Rong Xuan from being taken. He hadn’t done enough…

But the person Xiao Lu hated most was himself.

At this moment, with the cruel truth laid bare before him, he could no longer deceive himself. Had he really been unaware all this time?

He had seen the boy growing weaker by the day, heard him softly insisting he was fine. Why hadn’t he dared ask more questions?

Why hadn’t he faced the truth sooner?

Rong Xuan had made his choice. His subordinates had made theirs as well…

Because everyone knew that, even if they had revealed the truth, what could he have done? There was nothing he could do.

He couldn’t afford any mistakes on this path he was walking.

And in the end, Xiao Lu had tacitly accepted the path they had chosen for him, cowardly opting for ignorance, pretending nothing was wrong.

He had convinced himself that once he succeeded, everything would be fine…

Until the words of the empress’s servants stabbed into him like knives, finally forcing him to confront the truth he had been avoiding. The boy had endured far more than Xiao Lu had ever imagined. And even now, killing those people wouldn’t bring back what was lost.

The boy had suffered so much, swallowing all his pain, never complaining or blaming Xiao Lu. He had left his final moments for Xiao Lu, because he knew there was no point in burdening him with things that would only cause him guilt and pain…

He hadn’t wanted Xiao Lu to suffer, so he had borne it all alone.

He had stayed by Xiao Lu’s side through the darkest of nights.

He had burned away his own life to give Xiao Lu’s heart a place to rest, so Xiao Lu could keep moving forward without looking back.

But Xiao Lu had let him die in the fires of Fengwu Palace, without even the chance to make amends.

Xiao Lu could never forgive himself.

He was the source of the boy’s tragic fate.

If it hadn’t been for him, the Rong family wouldn’t have been destroyed. Rong Xuan wouldn’t have had to enter the palace, and he wouldn’t have died this way…

But the boy had never blamed him. Even in his final moments, he had clung to the jade pendant Xiao Lu had given him. Was he still waiting for Xiao Lu to save him, even then?

Every time Xiao Lu closed his eyes, he could see the boy crying out for him, but a sea of flames, an insurmountable barrier, stood between them, and Xiao Lu could only watch as the boy was consumed by the fire, unable to take a single step closer…

Countless times, in the dead of night, Xiao Lu had asked himself: What if he hadn’t opened the door to that quiet courtyard all those years ago?

What if he had ignored the boy’s wishes and forced him to leave the capital?

Would things have been different?

But life doesn’t give second chances.

For a fleeting moment of indulgence, he had lost everything. Nothing remained.

For a selfish desire, a brief taste of happiness.

And the price had been unimaginable.

Fifty years passed.

Xiao Lu had become the illustrious sovereign of a prosperous age. No one could force him to endure humiliation or make compromises anymore. He had gained everything. Yet, in the quiet of night, he was still haunted by helpless despair.

In the end, he hadn’t been able to protect the person he loved.

He was a failure.

Now, he was old, his hair turning white, his body weakening. But in his memories, the boy’s face was forever preserved, pure and untainted, just as it had been on that first day. He longed to face the boy again, to tell him, “Look, I did everything I promised you. I became the wise and just ruler I said I would be, bringing peace and prosperity to the land. I made sure that every citizen had a home and food to eat. I restored honor to the Rong family’s name, making sure they would be remembered for centuries to come.”

“Did you see all that I’ve done?”

But there was one thing he could never do, no matter how hard he tried. He could never stand beside the boy, openly and proudly, as they traveled across the vast lands together.

He hadn’t been able to protect him.

He had made him wait for far too long.

Xiao Lu closed his eyes. He thought his long life was finally coming to an end. But when he opened them again, he found himself awakening in the heavenly palace.

It turned out, he wasn’t just Xiao Lu, the emperor of Nanyue. He was also Hualan, an Emperor in the Celestial Realm.

The life he had lived was merely a brief trial during his time spent in seclusion, a fleeting experience of mortal existence in the midst of his pursuit of enlightenment. Seventy-some years were but a blink of an eye in his tens of thousands of years of life. To an immortal like him, the love, hatred, and sorrow of a mortal life were meant to be insignificant.

As a god, he wasn’t supposed to be attached to a single lifetime of mortal love.

Hualan knew he should let go.

He was no longer Xiao Lu, and Rong Xuan had long since been reincarnated. Holding onto those feelings served no purpose. But still… deep within him, there was a lingering regret.

The pain of loving someone but never being able to be with them—that’s what it felt like.

Perhaps that was the price of his trial and enlightenment.

As a dragon, from the moment Hualan was born, he had stood at the pinnacle of all beings in the three realms. His path to godhood had been smooth, free from suffering or hardship, and he had never understood human emotions like love and longing.

Perhaps his journey had been too easy. The universe always balances itself. He could never achieve true enlightenment until he understood imperfection. It wasn’t until he lived that mortal life that he began to grasp things he had never comprehended before. He realized that all beings in the three realms experience loss. Without understanding loss, how could one truly appreciate what they have? Even as a god, there would be things beyond your reach.

This was the thing he couldn’t have.

Some emotions can’t be forgotten just because you want to. Some things can’t be let go of simply because you try. For every gain, there is a loss.

As you walk forward, you inevitably leave things behind. And those missed moments… become indelible marks on your soul.

Hualan had returned to the mortal world once to retrieve the jade pendant he had buried. In the end, he had fallen into the same trap of mortal attachment.

Sometimes, Hualan would think about the past, wondering what had become of the boy in his new life. He had stopped himself countless times from investigating, knowing that the boy had been reincarnated, had a new life, and perhaps even a new lover. How could Hualan interfere, just to satisfy his own selfish desires and disrupt the boy’s cycle of rebirth?

He couldn’t make the same mistake again.

You’ve forgotten about me by now.

But that’s okay. I still remember us.

This memory won’t fade with time. Instead, it grows stronger, like wine that only becomes richer and more intoxicating with age.

Though it’s bitter at first, it leaves a lasting sweetness, one that seeps deep into your bones.

Hualan had created a forbidden sanctuary in the Celestial Palace, designed to resemble the Rong family’s estate in the mortal realm. The scenery was serene, quiet. He had crafted a puppet from thousand-year-old jade, sculpting every feature by hand. The puppet’s face was an exact likeness of the boy’s, down to every detail. Every time Hualan entered the courtyard, the puppet would greet him with a smile, just as it had a thousand years ago:

“Your Majesty, you’re here.”

And that was enough.

It was a secret known to no one.

Hualan would sit and talk to the puppet, telling him stories about the world beyond. The puppet listened in silence. Hualan knew it was just a puppet, unable to understand or respond. But he didn’t mind. A thousand years had passed. Across the heavens and the earth, wherever the boy had been, it remained a sacred part of Hualan’s heart, untouchable by anyone else.

That was why, on the day he hosted a banquet for the celestial beings and sensed someone entering his forbidden sanctuary, he had been filled with such rage.

For the first time since his return, he had felt the urge to kill.

As Hualan stood before the intruder, he saw a clueless young thief who had no idea of the gravity of his crime.

But just as he was about to strike, the young thief, lying prostrate on the ground, looked up at him. His eyes were red, his expression defiant yet restrained, and he called out, “Your Majesty…”

Hualan froze, his breath catching in his throat. He was trapped by those clear, bright eyes, suddenly unable to move.

For a brief moment, it felt as if the boy he had loved had come back to life before him.

Be my Patron ~ Buy me Ko-Fi
────୨ৎ────
✨Be a part of the story – support my translations✨
✨Buy me some Ko-FI | Paypal to support my effort✨
✨✨Advance chapter at Patreon✨✨