{Satou-san’s Hand and Mine (1)}

Satou-san is the only one left in the classroom.

In the quiet, late afternoon, Satou-san’s shadow stretches across the classroom floor. She’s sitting in the last row, the second seat from the window, grappling with a math worksheet.

Her hand holding the pen often pauses, and it seems the eraser got used a lot. She’s serious, with a troubled expression, staring intently at the worksheet. She appears to be struggling with the math roblems, occasionally letting out a frustrated sigh.

She doesn’t seem to notice me peeking into the classroom from the hallway.

It’s a bit troubling, I think.

It seems Satou-san did very poorly on the pop quiz that was given in the math class the other day. She had been summoned by Mr. Takada, the math teacher, during lunch break.

And now, in the afternoon, she finds herself stuck in the classroom, wrestling with the math worksheet. It’s not new that Satou-san struggles with studying, but there was no need for her to be left behind today.

I’m standing in the hallway, feeling a bit restless.

I don’t want to disturb Satou-san, so I’m only occasionally glancing into the classroom.

But at this rate, I have no idea how long I’ll have to wait. Satou-san’s profile remains serious. The orange setting sun is shining through the window, casting a shadow on this side of the room. Her serious expression, shrouded in shadow, looks almost painfully earnest. The shadow stretching from her feet is almost reaching the hallway.

I’m starting to get tired of waiting.

I didn’t intend to interfere, but maybe it’s time to offer a helping hand.

I waited for the moment when Satou-san’s pen stopped and decided to speak up.

“…Satou-san.”

Satou-san quickly looked up.

Her pen fell from her hand as she was startled, causing her to scramble to her feet. Instantly, her chair fell over with a loud noise.

“I’ll pick it up.”

Seeing her in a flurry, I rushed into the classroom and picked up the pen before she could.

It was a familiar character-themed mechanical pencil.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Satou-san, flustered, fixed the fallen chair. Then she shyly received the pen from me. Our fingertips brushed for a moment.

“Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun, for picking it up.”

“No, it was me who startled you. I’m sorry for suddenly calling out.”

When I said that, Satou-san shook her head.

“No, it’s just that I didn’t expect anyone to be here… I was just surprised. I’m sorry for causing a commotion.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

I still felt the cool sensation from her fingertips on my hand. Even though it’s summer, her fingers were cold.

It was exactly like when I held her hand at the cinema—just as cold.

“How’s it going?”

I asked while looking down at the worksheet on her desk.

It seemed like she had completed half of it. The remaining half consisted of more complex problems, so it would probably take even more time.

“Hmm… it’s going okay.”

Satou-san replied, showing a slightly troubled face.

“If I don’t finish, neither I nor the teacher can go home, so I need to hurry. But it’s not progressing well.”

I feel the same way. Since I’m waiting for Satou-san, I can’t leave until she finishes this worksheet.

But instead of saying that, I tried offering something else.

“Do you want me to help with the parts you don’t understand?”

I’m not particularly good at math myself, but I’m better than Satou-san. I can manage to teach her if she needs it.

After a moment’s hesitation, Satou-san gave a faint smile.

“I appreciate it, but there are so many problems…”

“It’s fine. I can help.”

“No, just your offer is enough.”

Her tone became suddenly fast-paced as she glanced cautiously toward the hallway.

After carefully scanning the area, she returned her gaze to me and spoke in a lowered voice.

“If Mr. Takada finds out, he’ll be angry, Yamaguchi-kun.”

The name of the homeroom teacher was spoken with a trembling voice.

“That shouldn’t—”

I started to say it doesn’t matter, but I fell silent.

Mr. Takada, the disciplinary teacher, is one of the most intimidating and feared teachers in the school. I don’t particularly like him and would rather avoid him.

And if we were caught, it would be Satou-san, not me, who would be reprimanded by him.

As I struggled to find words, Satou-san sat down in her chair and managed a weak smile.

“I was scolded a bit earlier too. He said I must have gotten a bad score because I wasn’t motivated. So, I really need to do my best.”

Her mouth was smiling.

But her eyes looked slightly reddened. I don’t think it was just the color of the evening sunlight.

“He said I wouldn’t be able to graduate with everyone else if I kept this up.”

Satou-san spoke in a calm tone.

She must have been told more harshly than she lets on, but she doesn’t reveal the full extent of it. With Mr. Takada, it’s probably much harsher.

But Satou-san doesn’t say that.

“I need to do my best… It’s okay. Sorry for making you worry.”

She seemed to be reassuring herself, nodding once. Her expression looked bright.

“I see.”

I finally spoke up. I wasn’t in the mood to push further, so I decided to turn on my heel.

“Well then, do your best, Satou-san.”

“Yeah, thank you.”

She gave a small wave and smiled back. That was the only comfort.

I couldn’t bring myself to say, “I’ll be waiting.”

But I intended to wait. Not because of our conversation just now, but because I had decided long ago. I wanted to go home with Satou-san today.

Satou-san struggles with studying.

Saying that grades aren’t everything is just a nice way of putting it. Even though Satou-san tries hard, she doesn’t do well, and some people might see her as lazy. In fact, I used to think that way too. But that’s not the case; Satou-san is doing her best with all she has.

Even so, sometimes it’s frustrating. With this surprise test, I had a hunch it was coming since we hadn’t had one in a while. Considering I had been preparing for it, Satou-san’s lack of preparation was somewhat annoying. If she had just done a little more prep, she might have avoided scolding from the teacher. Maybe I should have given her a heads-up.

I want to be of help to her.

I don’t know what I can do or how to do it, but I want to be able to help Satou-san in some way.

Satou-san doesn’t ask me for much, so I haven’t been able to convey that feeling effectively.

I’ve learned a lot from Satou-san.

How taking your time to phrase an email is out of consideration for the other person.

That a small snack during break time can be very delicious.

That putting feelings into words is very difficult.

But also, that it’s okay to express genuine feelings stirred by someone’s actions, without hesitation or awkwardness.

And then—those moments when you can put feelings into words are happy and comforting.

It took some time, but I managed to convey my feelings in words.

It’s all thanks to her.

So, today I planned to express my gratitude in a tangible way.

Although my initial attempt was completely thwarted, I still intended to wait for Satou-san.