{Satou-san’s Hand and My Hand (2)}

As the sunlight illuminating the student entrance began to fade, Satou-san finally appeared.

Looking tired, she came with her usual slow steps. But when she saw me leaning against the shoe rack, she stopped in her tracks and exclaimed in surprise.

“Yamaguchi-kun! What are you doing here at this time?”

“I was waiting.”

I answered honestly, and it surprised Satou-san even more.

“Why? Yamaguchi-kun doesn’t take the bus. I’m glad you waited, but staying so late…”

“Because it’s your birthday.”

I interrupted her words.

“Today is Satou-san’s birthday, right? I was waiting to give you a present.”

I had hoped to give it to her in the classroom, but that wasn’t possible. I waited until after school, planning to walk home with her and give it to her somewhere along the way, with honest words to make up for the movie date the other day, so I be more straightforward.

But that plan fell apart easily. It wasn’t Takada-sensei’s fault, nor Satou-san’s. There was no one to blame.

I waited. I stayed quietly in the empty school building until around the end of summer’s long evening, with that much feeling for her.

Satou-san approached me, coming up to the shoe rack. She stopped her footsteps and blinked. Her eyes, still slightly red, were restless with the movement of her eyelashes.

“You knew it was my birthday?”

She said in a surprised voice, making me laugh involuntarily.

“Of course I knew. It’s listed in the ID, Satou-san’s birthday.”

“Oh? Right, I forgot.”

Realizing, Satou-san also smiled.

“But I’m happy you knew. Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

Today, Satou-san turns eighteen. It doesn’t feel like it at all.

I opened my bag and took out the gift I had prepared—a pink paper bag the size of a palm.

“This is a present. It’s not much.”

As I said that, Satou-san quickly shook her head.

“You didn’t have to go out of your way.”

She started to say, so I pressed the paper bag into her hands.

“I’ve already bought it, so it’s too late to return it. Just accept it.”

Her hand, which touched mine, was still cold. Her fingers quickly grasped the bag, accepting it.

I felt relieved inside and let go of her hand.

Satou-san’s face had no smile. She looked dazed as if she had forgotten how to laugh. Her lips moved awkwardly, and I heard a hesitant voice.

“Thank you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

“Yeah. Congratulations, Satou-san.”

I nodded.

“Thank you…”

Satou-san repeated those words, and then, in the next moment, she gasped.

“I’m sorry. It’s so late even though you waited for me.”

“It’s fine.”

It isn’t really fine, but I answered. I hope this doesn’t happen again, though it might be difficult. I could wait as long as needed, but…

“Did you manage to finish the handout?”

“Yeah, somehow. There were mistakes, but I wasn’t scolded too much.”

I wondered if Satou-san’s efforts had paid off, or if the teacher also wanted to go home early. Either way, I felt like praising her now. Struggling is valuable in itself.

“Oh, Yamaguchi-kun. May I open it now?”

Still in her indoor shoes, Satou-san seemed entirely focused on the birthday present.

“Sure. It’s already yours.”

“Thank you.”

Satou-san quickly opened the paper bag and, with clumsy hands, took out the contents. Inside the shining plastic was a folded ribbon.

It was a glossy, cherry blossom pink ribbon.

“This… for me?”

Satou-san’s hand stopped moving as she stared at the ribbon, not blinking.

“I’ve been saying that.”

“Did you choose it, Yamaguchi-kun?”

“Well, yes.”

I thought it was an uncharacteristic purchase for me.

I considered something more practical, like stationery. But I couldn’t match Satou-san’s childish taste, so I thought it better to choose something universally pleasing for a girl.

I chose the ribbon’s color based on my intuition.

Come to think of it, I had touched her hair before.

“Thank you… It’s so beautiful, it feels like it’s too much.”

Satou-san said, so I shrugged.

“Don’t say it’s too much. I’d be happier if you used it more.”

“Oh, right.”

Satou-san, who smiled lightly, then looked down.

Her cold hand held the ribbon wrapped in plastic, gently cradling it so it wouldn’t get crushed.

Silence fell over the student entrance.

The sunset gradually lost its light. With no one around, only the two of us were there.

I searched for the next words. I had something to say, but I couldn’t find it.

Satou-san seemed to be searching for words too.

Eventually, Satou-san looked up.

“I…”

Her voice sounded hoarse and somewhat tired.

Her single ponytail began to come undone. If she tied it up properly with this ribbon, would she look even cuter?

“I was a bit down earlier.”

She said, as if to herself, and then smiled a little.

The following words, however, regained a surprising brightness.

“Math is full of things I don’t understand, and I don’t even know where to begin to study, and I thought I was hopeless, and I was really worried about not graduating with everyone, and I felt bad for making the teacher stay so late, and I was thinking about all that.”

After saying all that in one breath, Satou-san took a pained breath.

Then she said,

“But…”

“But, thanks to you, Yamaguchi-kun, my feeling of being down has disappeared.”

I was almost about to cry out in surprise. I quickly swallowed my words, feeling something stir in my throat.

Satou-san smiled and continued.

“Yamaguchi-kun, you really are amazing. I was so down while staying in the classroom. I felt sorry for the teacher, and it was tough being helpless, and I wasn’t making much progress with the handouts, but when you spoke to me in the classroom, it made me feel so much better.”

Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes were red and moist.

“Even now. Thanks to you, Yamaguchi-kun, it’s been a wonderful birthday. I’m really happy…”

Her hand holding the ribbon trembled.

It was white and smooth.

“That time too. When we went to see the movie.”

I remembered the day I learned how cold her hands were. It was the first time I held Satou-san’s hand. While I was nervous next to her, she seemed unaffected and unperturbed.

But Satou-san said,

“When you held my hand, I felt really reassured. I was surprised at how much it comforted me. Your hand feels reliable. Just having the hand that can handle anything easily holding mine made me truly feel secure. I thought your hand was really amazing.”

“That’s not true.”

My denying voice was faint and shaky.

But it was really like that. It wasn’t anything special; my hand was just an ordinary hand. It couldn’t perform miracles.

“No, it is.”

Yet she insisted.

“Yamaguchi-kun’s hand is special. I believe it’s a hand that can grasp something really significant.”

Could it be? My hand struggles to even reach for what I want, unable to touch it. The ribbon, Satou-san’s hand, or perhaps even her very self.

Or could it truly be a hand that can fulfill anything?

Does my hand possess a power I don’t know?

If Satou-san is right—.

“I… my hand…”

Satou-san murmured suddenly.

“My hand though… can it grasp something? Sometimes I feel anxious. I wonder what my hand is really for.”

Her gaze fell to the floor.

“Maybe my hand can’t grasp anything…”

A droplet fell to her feet. It quickly disappeared, becoming invisible.

Satou-san made no sound. Her shoulders trembled quietly. Tears streamed down her downturned white cheeks.

My hand moved immediately.

I touched her cheek.

The tears were already cold and felt chilling to the touch. I gently cupped her cheek with my fingers, wiping them away. It was smoother than I had expected.

“You can grasp things.”

I struggled to find the right words.

I didn’t know the words Satou-san wanted to hear. But even if it was just a comfort, I felt I could honestly say this. It might not be the most eloquent way to put it.

“If my hand will do, you can hold it anytime. If you say my hand is special, I believe it can surely be of help to you.”

I didn’t know what exactly Satou-san wanted to grasp.

But I thought I could help until she reached it. I wanted to be of use to Satou-san. If she needs me, I believe I can truly do anything.

Her eyes, filled with tears, looked at me intently.

Her cold hand touched the hand I placed on her cheek. It touched as if clinging to it, then clasped it.

“Thank you.”

Satou-san said with awkwardly moving lips.

“I’m sorry for crying… but I’m happy.”

As she lowered her wet eyelashes, warm tears trickled down my fingers and the back of my hand.

“If you’re here, Yamaguchi-kun, I think I can keep trying. I want to keep trying a little more.”

I felt I had finally found something I could do for Satou-san.

Satou-san took my hand in hers. She needed me. If it meant she

could feel a little better and find the strength to keep going, that was a happy thing.

“Yamaguchi-kun’s hand is warm.”

A faint voice, like a sigh, was heard right in front of me.

“Thank you for letting me hold it.”

Satou-san’s hand slowly began to warm up. I wanted to hold it forever.

“Thank you too.”

I said, smiling a little. Satou-san taught me another important thing.

My hand really might be special. A hand that can do anything for Satou-san.

Even now, I made Satou-san smile. Even with tears still in her eyes and traces of droplets on her cheeks, I was able to make her smile.

While we waited for the return bus, Satou-san and I talked a little.

The sun had completely set, and Venus began to shine in the sky. There were almost no people outside, and the street in front of the school was quiet. A mercury lamp flickered in the distance.

“Yamaguchi-kun, could you help me with studying next time?”

Satou-san, with her face after crying, asked.

“I’ll do my best. I want to graduate with you, Yamaguchi-kun.”

“Sure. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.”

I nodded and saw Satou-san’s smile, returning it with my own.

The traces of tears were bittersweet, but the time spent together was incredibly happy.

I think I’ll see the usual Satou-san tomorrow.

Even though she’s plain, slow, and not particularly beautiful, but she is a hard worker and a positive person.

And I’ll surely see the Satou-san who looks great with the pink ribbon.

End of Extras