{Satou-san Who Doesn’t Know About Others’ Feelings}

The café in question was crowded.

Perhaps due to it being a weekend afternoon at four o’clock, the place was nearly full and bustling with activity. Still, once we were shown to our seats and settled in, I felt relieved by the warmth of the café.

The set of tea and crepes recommended by Satou-san cost 700 yen. We could choose from chocolate, strawberry, or blueberry crepes. I ordered the blueberry crepe, and Satou-san chose chocolate.

Before long, the warm tea arrived along with freshly made crepes. The crepe was topped with a round scoop of vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and a generous amount of blueberry sauce.

“700 yen, huh…”

While poking at my crepe, I couldn’t help but grumble.

Satou-san, sitting across from me, responded cheerfully.

“This set for 700 yen is a bargain. It’s really delicious too.”

“Yeah, it’s good, but…”

“But what?”

“Considering that with just one full-body suit, I could have bought five of these…”

Satou-san burst out laughing at my words.

After laughing, she gave me a somewhat apologetic look.

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh.”

“It’s okay.”

I wasn’t hurt by it. I shrugged.

“I think it’s ridiculous too. Spending money like this for just a school event. If it was enjoyable, that would be one thing, but it’s not fun at all.”

The full-body suit I had packed away in my bag was quite a downer. If I wore it, the class would surely snicker at me. And since I had to wear ears and a tail, it would be unbearably embarrassing.

Still, I felt it was undignified to keep complaining, so I forced a cheerful tone.

“But since it’s the last cultural festival, I hope we can enjoy it. You’re looking forward to it too, right, Satou-san?”

She nodded vaguely.

“Yeah…”

I had expected her to nod more enthusiastically, so this was surprising.

In front of my puzzled expression, Satou-san adjusted her posture.

“Well, you see…”

She looked at me intently and began hesitantly.

“I want to think it’s going to be fun. That’s what I’m hoping for.”

Her way of speaking was rather uncharacteristic of her. I had expected her to smile and say something like, “I’m looking forward to it!”

Could it be that she really dislikes performing on stage? After all, she was laughed at so much during practice. It was only natural.

“Is performing in the play making you feel down?”

But when I asked, she looked down, seeming troubled.

“No, I’m fine. But…”

She continued to hesitate, as if it was hard for her to say.

So, I put my fork down and waited silently for her to continue.

The café was noisy with many groups of customers, to the point where the background music was inaudible.

Yet, the table we were at was strangely silent. Perhaps because we were sitting across from each other rather than side by side, there was an awkward, heavy silence surrounding us.

Satou-san remained silent for what seemed like about a minute.

It felt much longer to me, and during that time, she seemed to hesitate repeatedly.

When she finally spoke, her expression was melancholic.

“Well, Yamaguchi-kun…”

Her voice sounded apologetic as she spoke.

“To tell the truth, I’m not completely okay with it either.”

“With what?”

I asked quickly.

After another pause, she said,

“Being laughed at by others.”

Satou-san said, looking downward.

“I’m not okay with it… No, I am okay now. I don’t mind the current class, but I used to be scared. I was afraid of being laughed at by strangers, and I probably won’t ever get completely okay with it.”

That makes sense.

Everyone feels that way. It’s natural to dislike being laughed at.

But I had thought Satou-san was different. After all, during the last practice…

“I don’t hate being laughed at, but I’m scared. I understand how you feel, Yamaguchi-kun.”

After saying that, Satou-san looked up.

Her slightly teary eyes were intensely serious, staring straight at me.

“But I’m okay now. I was scared before, but now, in this class, it doesn’t bother me at all. Even if everyone laughs at me, I can think it’s okay. If they find it amusing, then that’s fine.”

“…Why?”

I asked, feeling drawn in.

She smiled awkwardly, her smile somewhat forced.

“Because you, Yamaguchi-kun, aren’t laughing.”

I was caught off guard and almost lost my breath.

“Having you in the class is the most reassuring thing for me.”

I’m glad I had set my fork down. If I had been holding it, I might have dropped it.

“So, I want to be like that too.”

Satou-san continued in a slightly trembling voice.

“I don’t want to laugh at you, Yamaguchi-kun. I want to see what you’re working hard on and know about it. I know you can do anything. So, I want to be serious until the end too.”

Satou-san was serious. Even about something like this—something so personal to a stranger.

And she was still so oblivious. She thought my not laughing at her was an act of kindness. It wasn’t that. I just couldn’t laugh.

But maybe, deep down, it was something like that.

Maybe she just wanted to hear it from me. Maybe she wanted me to say that I wouldn’t laugh. Even if the whole class laughed, even if it meant exposing myself to ridicule just before graduation, even if I drew a terrible role, even if it was the last cultural festival.

I wouldn’t laugh. I wanted Satou-san to do the same. That was all it was.

My chest ached, pounding quickly and loudly, and I couldn’t find the right words. It always happens like this at crucial moments. I can say all sorts of things, but my tongue was tangled now.

While I was fumbling, Satou-san spoke. Trying to make it sound casual.

“Um, sorry. I didn’t mean to make it such a heavy conversation.”

She sounded flustered.

“I didn’t mean to make it sound so serious… I just couldn’t find the right words.”

Satou-san, unable to express herself well?

She always seemed so indifferent to her words. She would casually say things that made me uneasy.

“No, it’s fine. Thank you.”

I, who could never say anything about others, responded with clumsy words.

“I’ll do my best. It’s the last cultural festival after all…”

Because there was someone who said they wouldn’t laugh.

Because Satou-san was here.

“Yeah.”

Satou-san nodded before I could finish my sentence.

She really is oblivious. Because of that, I couldn’t express everything I wanted to say.

“I hope we can enjoy the cultural festival.”

Finally, Satou-san smiled genuinely.

“Let’s have fun together.”

I replied, watching her smile from across the table.

Our feelings might be the same, or they might be completely different.

But we need each other. That much is clear. I am supported by Satou-san, and Satou-san says she’s okay because I’m here.

I want to continue being that kind of presence for each other. For both of us. I want to believe that this time, the Christmas promise, and the last cultural festival are all for that purpose. Everything is time for us to need each other.

I also need to think about what comes after graduation. How to keep this time connected into the future.

Satou-san sipped the remaining tea carefully and sighed deeply.

“I’m glad I was able to say what I wanted to say.”

I envied her internally.

I couldn’t even express what I wanted to say. I wanted to read the atmosphere. In the settled atmosphere, I hesitated to bring up the previous topic.

So, I decided to put it away for now.

“Thank you. I had a great time today.”

I said with a big smile, and on the other side of the table, Satou-san smiled back.

“Thank you too, Yamaguchi-kun.”

Her smile, seen from across the table, was dazzling, and I thought again how unfamiliar it felt.

I want Satou-san to be by my side.