“You’re so good to your friends. You’ve never said anything hurtful to your friends, and your friends take everything to heart. But love and friendship are different. Sometimes, when you’re in love, you say things that you don’t mean. Almost everyone does that. I don’t really agree with you denying your whole character just because you said something like that today. It’s hurtful.”

“That Lumi who loves you is a very good person. It’s just that she has edges and thorns in love. You’re not the first person she’s dated like this, so I can understand her personality.”

“No matter what, as your friend, I love you very much. Sun Yu, Shang Zhi Tao, they all love you, and your sister Lu Qing loves you too. Oh right, Tang Wuyi loves you too.” Shang Zhi Tao almost hugged Lumi, who was crying her eyes out. She probably wouldn’t have many moments like this in her life.

Lumi didn’t know why she was so sad. She felt like it was because she had said something particularly hurtful. She wanted to apologize to Tu Ming, and she didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. She hung up the phone, put on her clothes, and went out.

That’s just how it was, she couldn’t wait until tomorrow for anything.

They were all just ordinary people, men and women in the world. It’s hard to have any earth-shattering events. It’s just love and little affections, nothing to write home about. But it’s these little loves and affections that are the most tormenting. Everyone wants to keep their own principles in love, their edges sharp, their backs straight, refusing to bow. In the end, harsh words wound people and leave a chill in the air.

Tu Ming’s sudden sharp glance made Lumi’s heart ache. She hadn’t intended to do this, she just wanted to feel good herself. Lumi almost never reflected on herself. But, for once, she felt like she had said the wrong thing today.

Many people were returning home for the New Year, there were few cars on the road. She drove fast, alone on the road late at night.  It took less than half an hour to reach the entrance of his residential area near the Summer Palace. She called him, and he answered. She called again, and he answered again.

Lumi thought for a moment and sent a voice message, “I’m at the entrance of your neighborhood. I want to say sorry to you in person. I didn’t mean to say that. Sometimes people are just jerks, they say things when they’re hot-headed, they don’t really mean it, really.”  As she spoke, her voice became choked, “Don’t hold it against me, just pretend you’re blind, pretend we just had a few days of a really bad relationship. You’re so good, you’ll definitely find someone who can get along with you. I’m sorry.”

Lumi finished speaking and waited a while, but Tu Ming didn’t reply.

Tu Ming listened to her words several times. She didn’t mean it, but she did think it. The “choosing” of words that weren’t chosen meant that she had many thoughts, and she had to choose which one to say. The premise was that the thought was already there.

“I’ve said what I needed to say. I’m leaving. Don’t be angry with me, it’s not worth it. Really.”

Lumi had never lowered her head before. In the past, if she was wrong, she was wrong. If you held a grudge against her, then you were the one with a bad attitude. But today, for the first time, she bowed her head. She didn’t feel uncomfortable bowing her head, it was just that Tu Ming’s look was so painful. And then, the man who always reasoned with his words suddenly said he found her disgusting.

Lumi’s phone buzzed. She saw a message from Tu Ming, “Be careful.”

“Thanks.”

Lumi drove home alone again. This kind of lonely time was rare, almost nonexistent in her vibrant life.

As she drove back, she felt a little better. When she got home, she told Shang Zhi Tao, “I apologized, thank you for your advice.”

“It wasn’t just about advising you, it was also about advising myself. Lumi, you’ve met Zhang Qing, and you’ve met many men who have pursued you. He has good and bad qualities, but how many people like Will, who truly want to go the distance with you, are there?  I’m not denying that most people are just looking for something casual. Like you said, when the primal desire hits, it hits, and that’s wrong. But the one who truly cares for you will put that desire last. He’ll love you first.”

“This isn’t a lecture, you know, I love you very much, I love you the most, you’re my best, best friend.”

“I’ve just been thinking about this for a few years, and I wanted to tell you.”

“I know, thank you, Taotao. I love you too.” Lumi said to her.

“Do you want to rest? You’ve been up all night.” Shang Zhi Tao asked.

“I’m going to sleep. I stayed up too late, I won’t look good tomorrow, it’ll affect my stunning beauty.” Lumi joked and put down her phone. She stared into the darkness for a while, finally deciding to end this terrible day and welcome the New Year.

On New Year’s Eve, Lumi’s whole family was at her grandma’s house.

Grandma was very generous this year, she gave each child a red envelope with 3,000 yuan in it. Lumi and Lu Qing put their grandma’s red envelopes in their pockets and went over to hug grandma, acting cute, “Grandma, double it next year, okay?”

“We’ll see if your grandma lives to see next year.”

They both kissed grandma’s face hard, “Grandma can live to be 110.”

The whole family laughed happily.

Lu Qing winked at Lumi, and they went to Grandma’s small storage room, closing the door behind them. It was dark inside, the perfect place to whisper secrets.

“I think what you said is right.” Lu Qing said.

“What did I say?” Lumi was confused.

“This.” Lumi took out her phone and showed Lumi a picture. It was a very pretty nightgown, “You should prepare a nice outfit, no need to be shy about it.”

Lumi zoomed in and looked at it, “Tsk tsk tsk, this nightgown is awesome.”

Lu Qing blushed a little, “Lumi, I’ve been really looking forward to this. It feels like I’m back in high school, so excited.”

“So, have you gotten any protection?” Lumi asked.

“Do I need to prepare that?”

“Prepare some just in case. What if he’s prepared?”

“I feel like it’s something the guy should prepare.”

“Ugh! Remember to buy it at the airport tomorrow.”

“How are you and Will doing?”

“We’re over.”

“Why? You said he was good the other day.”

“We’re not on the same page.”

Lumi had summed up what it meant to be on the same page while she was having insomnia last night: Tu Ming was on the same page as his ex-wife or someone like Wu Meng, while she was probably on the same page as someone like Zhang Qing.  They share the same values, their interests and hobbies align. That’s what it means to be on the same page.  People who are not on the same page either both become rounder, or one person breaks their bones to accommodate the other.

She definitely wouldn’t break her bones for Tu Ming.

“I know.”

Lu Qing hugged her, “Are you sad?”

“Still.”

She was still sad.  She had to live, after all. She just felt a tightness in her chest, like something was stuck there.

“You’ll feel better in a few days.”

Lumi said this, then heard the countdown. She hugged Lu Qing, “Sister, Happy New Year!”

“Happy New Year, little sister!”  They hugged each other every year at the countdown, since they were little.

When they were kids, they celebrated the New Year in the alleyway. After the countdown, the children would follow the adults out, and there would be firecrackers going off at the entrance of the alleyway, boom boom boom.

Everyone would gather together, laughing and joking, and they would feel that even though the year had been tough, it also had a sweetness that couldn’t be described.

Lumi and Lu Qing walked out, the Spring Festival Gala was nearing its end. Lumi had to accompany Lu Qing back to her place to pack things. Before they left, their uncle, Lu Guofu, his eyes welled up, “Hey! At least we ate dumplings together, not bad.” He didn’t want his daughter to leave!

Lumi and Lu Qing looked at each other. Lu Qing hugged Lu Guofu, “You’ll bring delicious food, it’s not the first time you’ve traveled for the New Year.”

“Alright, alright.”

Lumi drove Lu Qing to her place. Sitting on the sofa in her house, watching the last episode of “Li’s Inspection,” she said, “Take pictures when you’re riding the hot air balloon. You know, those kinds of photos, the really ethereal ones.”

“Okay. Yao Luan is a photographer, he should take some really nice pictures.”

“Then I’ll wait and see.”

Lumi had slept well the night before, and she was a little sleepy now. After Lu Qing finished watching “Li’s Inspection,” they squeezed into the same bed and slept for three hours before getting up and leaving in a hurry.  Lumi had been up all night, and when she got back home, she slept for a long time. When she opened her eyes, it was already evening on the first day of the New Year.

During the day, the colleagues were sending New Year greetings in the group chat. Everyone was clamoring for Tu Ming to send red envelopes. Lumi clicked the first one, the amount was large, more generous than her previous bosses.  She scrolled down, and he was being teased into sending more.  She clicked on each one, and she received them all.

Tu Ming heard his phone buzzing and took it out to look.  He saw that Lumi had received all the red envelopes at once. He followed the crowd and sent a thank-you emoji to the boss, and there was more activity.

Tu Ming wanted to say a few words to Lumi alone. How was her New Year going? Had Lu Qing left yet?  He kept his finger on Lumi’s profile picture for a long time, but ultimately didn’t click it. For the first time in his life, he became petty, nitpicking over a single word. He had been through much worse things and moved on, but he couldn’t get over this word.

Daisy suddenly suggested that they all get together during the New Year. Lumi thought it was funny. They were secretly doing little things behind each other’s backs, but now that it was the New Year, they had to pretend to be close colleagues. Wasn’t that tiring? If you’re going to act, you have to bring everyone else in: “Lumi, will you come?”

“No. I have plans to go out.” Lumi made up a random excuse. She didn’t want to attend this pointless, fake gathering.

“Lumi is not being sociable! Will, you tell her!” Daisy suddenly brought Tu Ming into the conversation. Tu Ming deliberately put his phone aside, pretending to participate in their discussion.

After a long time, he said, “I’m making some delicious food.  Any colleagues who want to participate can come to my place as guests, two or more people make a group.”

Daisy immediately responded, “Yes! Serena! Lumi, come on! You come too!”

Lumi simply stopped speaking in the group chat. Tang Wuyi sent a location in the group, “Lumi, come over and hang out.”

“Okay!”

That was how it went.

Lumi ended up going to Tu Ming’s house. She had wanted to go so much, she had tried everything, and she could never succeed. She had also thought about doing something with him in his house, leaving her underwear or bra hidden in a corner, or just claiming some space in his house, declaring her ownership.

The day of the gathering, everyone visited Tu Ming’s house and posted pictures of it in the group chat.

His house was very clean, with a large study and many flowers. It was hard to imagine that a single man’s house could be like this. They ate seafood at Tu Ming’s house. Tu Ming had bought it and was cooking it. Wu Meng and Jacky had also returned to Beijing early to participate in the gathering. Everyone was having a good time at Tu Ming’s house.

Tu Ming’s house rarely got this lively, but he always felt like something was missing.  It was probably the lack of someone who could make everyone laugh with a casual remark during the gathering. Someone who could be playful and sarcastic, but no one took it seriously, because they weren’t actually malicious.

That day, he rarely drank alcohol. When he saw everyone off, he felt a little lightheaded. He lay on the sofa for a while, lost in thought, when the doorbell rang. He opened it and saw Wu Meng standing at the door.

“Did you forget something?”

“No, Boss.” Wu Meng stood at the entrance, walking inside, “I wanted to talk to you.” Her face flushed red.

“I want to thank the Boss for your trust and care over the years. Whenever I encountered difficulties, you were always the first to step up and help. I’m very grateful. And thank you for the many opportunities you’ve given me, including recommending me to Ling Mei.”

“Also, when I had nowhere to go, you let me stay at your place. I’m very grateful for that.”

“Now I don’t know if I’m grateful to you or if I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“You don’t have to respond, it doesn’t matter. I just wanted to tell you.”

“Erin.” Tu Ming rubbed his eyes, “Let’s just let today’s things go. I have a few words for you too.”

“I have no romantic feelings for you, but I admire your work ethic.”

“Keep working hard.”

“Also, don’t dwell on the past, anyone would have done the same thing.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Tu Ming smiled at her, “Be careful on your way home.” He closed the door.

Tu Ming suddenly remembered Lumi rushing at him, her face flushed, saying, “Will you let me kiss you or not!”  Like a bandit, she wanted something, she would grab it.  She wasn’t civilized at all.

When you finally learn to be civilized, you probably won’t want her anymore.