{My and Yamaguchi-kun’s New Year’s Resolution _ part 2}

“I’m not from another world. I’m right here, beside you, aren’t I?”

A long time ago, back when we were still attending Higashi High School.

On the train ride back from the airport, Yamaguchi-kun, who was sitting next to me, said those words to me.

Until that moment, I had always thought Yamaguchi-kun was someone special, someone completely different from me. So when he said that, I was really surprised.

No, perhaps I was even more surprised by the confession he made before that—actually, definitely more surprised by that. But still, those words that followed were truly unexpected.

And they were true. Yamaguchi-kun was indeed an amazing person who could do anything, but he wasn’t living in a different world. He worried about little things and hesitated just like I did; sometimes he even made small mistakes and had trouble saying what he really wanted to.

Or rather, it was Yamaguchi-kun who taught me that everyone is like that.

He showed me that I didn’t need to feel inferior or think that I was especially bad at everything.

Recalling that conversation we had back then, I thought, “Yeah, that’s how it was.”

It’s not right for me to call Yamaguchi-kun a “prince.”

Because, just like Yamaguchi-kun said, it’s not realistic.

No matter how amazing, cool, and kind Yamaguchi-kun is to me, he isn’t someone from another world. He’s a human being, just like me, and right now, he’s here, right beside me.

“Then I’ll correct myself,” I quietly said at the moment when we could finally see the shrine as the line of worshippers moved forward.

Yamaguchi-kun blinked at me.

“Correct yourself?”

“Yeah. Yamaguchi-kun isn’t a prince, but…”

I tried to come up with a word that suited Yamaguchi-kun better.

But since I’m not very smart and my vocabulary is pretty limited, I couldn’t think of the right words. In the end, I had no choice but to say something that felt too plain.

“You’re just really cool!”

“Huh?!”

Yamaguchi-kun raised his voice again, looking startled and furrowing his brow in confusion.

“Wh-What’s with you, all of a sudden…”

“Well, I just thought calling you a prince didn’t quite fit.”

“Yeah, but even so, you didn’t have to say it like that.”

Maybe he was flustered, as his eyes were darting around. His cheeks were a little red, and I was pretty sure it wasn’t just because of the cold weather.

I was probably the same. It felt a bit embarrassing to say something so straightforward.

“Is it weird?”

When I asked shyly, Yamaguchi-kun nodded immediately.

“It’s weird.”

“Oh… I was trying to find a way to express how I feel about you, though.”

Just as I was starting to feel discouraged by his lukewarm response, Yamaguchi-kun suddenly grabbed my shoulder—well, more like the top of my arm. He pulled me close with enough strength that my chest bumped into him. My heart skipped a beat, and when I looked up at his face, Yamaguchi-kun was staring into the crowd, not at me.

“See, this is what happens when you get distracted. You’ll get swept away.”

“Oh… I-I’m sorry.”

When I hurriedly apologized, Yamaguchi-kun looked down at me, then, for some reason, made a regretful face. He quickly averted his eyes and muttered awkwardly.

“No, I mean… It’s not a big deal or anything.”

“No, I’ll be more careful. Sorry, I guess I got carried away because it’s New Year’s.”

It’s true—I’m definitely a little too excited.

Even though I had just apologized for causing trouble and felt bad for worrying him, I couldn’t help but smile. I felt so happy that my lips just curled up on their own.

Seeing my out-of-place smile, Yamaguchi-kun seemed annoyed and stepped away from me.

But after a moment, he gently took my hand.

“It’s probably safer if we hold hands,” he mumbled in an awkward tone. His face was still stiff and embarrassed, but he wasn’t looking at me.

“So yeah, I know it’s kind of childish, but I think we should hold hands.”

“…Yeah.”

I nodded, and Yamaguchi-kun smiled a little, despite still looking uncomfortable.

“I feel safer this way too. I won’t have to worry about you getting lost, Satou-san.”

His hand was a bit cold, but it soon warmed up.

And I thought, Yamaguchi-kun is really cool for holding my hand like this.

…But something feels a little off.

It’s not just that he’s cool—it feels like I’m not saying enough.

After we finished our visit to the shrine and managed to avoid the worst of the crowd, we hurried down the path.

“It’s exhausting when there are so many people,” Yamaguchi-kun muttered, and then he took my hand again—the hand he’d let go of while we were praying.

When I looked up at him, he gave me a look that said it was only natural.

“We don’t want to get separated, right?”

I didn’t mind holding his hand at all. In fact, it made me happy, so I just nodded silently.

Seeing that, Yamaguchi-kun also nodded, then casually said as we walked,

“By the way, I didn’t dislike it.”

“Dislike what?”

When I asked, there was a brief pause.

“Um, you know, the whole ‘prince’ thing…”

He continued, looking like he was forcing himself to say it, with an expression that seemed like he was holding back a smile.

“I mean, yeah, I still think it’s a bit childish, but if that’s how you see me, Satou-san…”

“Of course, that’s how I see you.”

I nodded and confirmed with words this time.

“…But saying it in front of other people is a bit much. It kind of makes us look like one of those overly lovey-dovey couples.”

Yamaguchi-kun then added, giving me a somewhat reproachful look.

“So next time, could you save that for when we’re alone?”

“Oh… So, only when no one else is around?”

“Yeah, exactly. It’s just hard to react when we’re not alone.”

Thinking about it, maybe what I said earlier really was a bit inappropriate. From an outsider’s perspective, it must have sounded incredibly childish.

As I panicked internally, Yamaguchi-kun, for some reason, seemed flustered too, as he quickly added,

“Ah, I didn’t mean anything weird by it.”

“I know. I didn’t take it that way.”

“Well, that’s… also kind of complicated, but… okay.”

Yamaguchi-kun gave my hand a squeeze and muttered as he exhaled a white breath into the air,

“I need to stop getting so thrown off by things. Satou-san, you’re really full of surprises.”

Yeah, I think so too.

I really wish I could express myself better. So that I don’t keep surprising Yamaguchi-kun, but also so that he understands how I feel.

As we walked side by side, holding hands, I looked at Yamaguchi-kun. He’s so cool, I feel safe with him, and I really like him.

He told me he doesn’t mind for now, so I guess for now, Yamaguchi-kun is my prince.

But I want to be able to express that feeling with words that aren’t so childish.

That’s my New Year’s resolution.