Chapter 5.1 Apology

Jian Meng’s heart felt like it was being pricked by needles, the pain accompanying the physical pain of her illness. She slowly raised her eyes to look at Ji Jing’an, at this man she had been with for ten years but now felt so unfamiliar.

After a while, she sighed.

“Ji Jing’an, we don’t have to be together.”

Not… necessarily have to continue being together.

Jian Meng felt tired.

This kind of life was tiring.

She uttered those words one by one, the meaning of those words seemed to say that the past ten years were nothing but a joke.

Ji Jing’an’s unease was stirred again, but this time it wasn’t the panic and helplessness, but the feeling that Jian Meng was throwing caution to the wind, not intending to continue with him.

And it was because of Gu Chuan.

“You want to leave me?”

“Is that not allowed?”

“Do you think you can leave me? In your sickly state, don’t you really think Gu Chuan will marry you?”

Jian Meng listened to Ji Jing’an’s insults, watching him without moving. The words that pierced her ears felt like they weren’t spoken by this man, her heart was as still as water.

“Don’t be so self-righteous. I’ve been protecting you for so many years, you really think you’re some kind of precious gem? I’m already doing you a favor by not being disgusted by you, and you still want to find someone else?”

He suddenly grabbed Jian Meng’s arm, pulled her off the bed, opened the balcony glass door, and threw her out, then slammed the door shut.

He thought he was educating a disobedient child, thought he was making Jian Meng reflect. Ji Jing’an turned and left the balcony.

Jian Meng fell onto the snow, blood flowing from her nostrils again, staining the white snow red.

So cold, so painful.

Her heart ached so much.

Jian Meng recalled many years ago when Ji Jing’an said he liked her, said he would be good to her for life… Remembering that, her heart ached so much…

When Ji Jing’an had just started dating Jian Meng, he loved to cling to her, saying, “Mengmeng, I like you so much, I wish you could like me a little more.”

Later, Ji Jing’an stepped on Jian Meng’s love, one step at a time. He didn’t cherish that bit of liking anymore.

He said he was disgusted by himself.

Jian Meng finally truly fell in love with Ji Jing’an.

But Ji Jing’an no longer loved Jian Meng.

When Jian Meng woke up again, she was in the bedroom. It was already dawn outside. Her hands were red, red to purple, stiff, unable to exert any strength.

Frozen.

Ji Jing’an came in with a bowl of millet porridge. Seeing Jian Meng awake, he hurried over happily.

“You’re awake, Mengmeng, how are you feeling?”

Jian Meng stared blankly at her hands, not hearing Ji Jing’an’s words.

“Shen Ayun came to check, it’s from being frozen too long, it will get better slowly.” He put down the porridge and slowly squatted down in front of Jian Meng, taking her hand, “I’m sorry, Mengmeng, I… I was drunk last night, I didn’t mean to. When I woke up, I really regretted it. But luckily, nothing serious happened… Mengmeng, look at me?”

Jian Meng was so numb that even focusing her vision was difficult. Her cloudy eyeballs, dark and gloomy, reflected Ji Jing’an’s figure, like a dead person.

Ji Jing’an’s heart suddenly constricted in pain. He asked Jian Meng nervously, “Mengmeng, are you okay?”

Jian Meng still raised her head, quiet and wooden, looking at him. Her black eyes, devoid of any light, reflected his face, making him feel confused about what was real and what wasn’t. She nodded as he wished.

Ji Jing’an finally breathed a sigh of relief. He knew he had gone too far, acting impulsively towards Jian Meng. He was afraid that her words would become true, that she would really leave him.

He stood up and hugged Jian Meng.

“Mengmeng, you can’t leave. If you leave, we won’t be able to hug each other anymore, understand?”

Jian Meng tilted her head slightly, taking a long time to understand what Ji Jing’an was saying. But she didn’t understand. She was already about to leave, why was Ji Jing’an so worried?

Even if he couldn’t hug her, there would be others.

He didn’t only like her.

The roses on the window were blackened and withered, but Jian Meng no longer wanted to replace them.

—

Jian Meng woke up from a nap, and Ji Jing’an was still there. He was in the living room, arranging something on the phone. Jian Meng suddenly felt a tickle in her throat and coughed violently.

The person in the living room hung up the phone and hurried in.

“Mengmeng, have some water.” He quickly handed her a cup, Jian Meng reached out, but just pushed away Ji Jing’an’s water.

She gradually calmed down.

Ji Jing’an suddenly remembered something and asked, “How did your hospital checkup go last time?”

It had been half a month since then, and he had just remembered to ask. Jian Meng found it a bit funny.

“The results aren’t good…”

Suddenly, Ji Jing’an’s phone rang.

Ji Jing’an glanced at the phone, frowned, and answered the call. A woman’s voice on the other end spoke, but whatever she said, Ji Jing’an’s brow furrowed deeper, and then he hung up the phone.

“Mengmeng, something came up at the company, I have to go there now. I’ll have Xiao Shen bring you some nutritious food later. If you need anything, call me.”

He hadn’t finished speaking before he had already put on his jacket.

Jian Meng replied faintly

It wasn’t real, but Ji Jing’an wanted to explain, so she just listened.

Ji Jing’an left again.