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This scene would have been wonderful, if not for the fact that we were surrounded by assistants, and the director was standing on a chair, watching us closely to ensure we were really kissing.
“Cut!”
The director corrected, “Xiao Lu, your emotions aren’t quite right. The shepherd boy is an outgoing, flamboyant character, and he’s the one initiating here. His gaze should have a playful, teasing look, like he’s toying with his prey.
“And this is your first kiss. The artist isn’t willing, so there’s a sense of it being half-forced.
“You need to be more wild.”
Lu Guanlan looked a little confused but obediently nodded. “Oh, okay, got it.”
He kissed me again, this time with more force.
“Smile with your eyes,” the director reminded.
Lu Guanlan narrowed his eyes into a smile.
“Don’t just brush his lips, bite him a bit.”
Lu Guanlan opened his mouth and bit me.
“Be wilder!”
He bit so hard that my lip bled.
“…”
The director was speechless, frowning. “Xiao Lu, have you never kissed anyone before?”
Lu Guanlan blushed deeply, his head drooping as he nodded.
Everyone was stunned. After all, during the audition, when we saw Lu Guanlan in his casual clothes, he looked stylish and rebellious.
He was so trendy that the director slapped two heat patches on him as if to treat some illness on the spot, instantly casting him in the role.
Who would’ve thought… we misjudged.
The director sighed, “Alright, take a break. Try to find the feeling.”
The crew dispersed, leaving just the two of us and a horse.
Standing in the vast, boundless grassland, we felt a bit abandoned.
Lu Guanlan, uncomfortable and downcast, remained silent for a long time.
I patted him on the shoulder to comfort him, “It’s okay, no one is perfect. If you don’t know, you can learn. Take your time.”
Lu Guanlan bit his lip and tugged at the hem of my shirt. He raised his head, his eyes red, and softly asked, “Ge, can you teach me?”
The past is hard to revisit. I sighed. The bedroom door was suddenly knocked open with a bang. Ten years later, Lu Guanlan stood at the door, expressionless. “The system gave me a side mission. We need to shower together.”
“…”
I was surprised. The system’s side tasks were becoming more frequent. Before, it was only once a day at most.
Lu Guanlan came in and pulled me along. “Stop dawdling. It’s not like we haven’t showered together before. Haven’t we seen each other?”
“…”
That was from eight hundred years ago!
Back then, we were filming on location, and conditions were tough. To save water, those with good relationships showered together. Two people sharing one tub was enough.
Since I taught him that kiss scene, Lu Guanlan started sticking to me, asking for advice on everything.
“Ge, I’ll help you scrub your back. Can you teach me some action scene tips?”
Lu Guanlan drifted closer in the water, ripples forming across his chest.
“The script says we need to improvise in the earlier flirting scenes, but I don’t know how.
“If I mess it up, the director will scold me again.”
He moved closer, resting his chin on my shoulder, gazing up at me pitifully.
“Ge, what should I do?”
“…”
I must’ve looked like the “subway grandpa staring at his phone.”
Lu Guanlan blinked, his gaze sincere, a bit nervous, and a bit shy.
I began to feel like I might be overthinking things. Maybe he was just preparing for the next day’s scenes.
But I didn’t have much experience either.
I pulled out my phone. “Let’s check Baidu.”
Lu Guanlan fell silent.
I was reading through forums when Lu Guanlan reached over and put my phone aside.
“Ge, reading about it is never the same as doing it yourself.
“Let’s practice.”
I felt a pinch on my waist. Standing behind me, Lu Guanlan murmured, “What are you thinking about? How are you daydreaming during a shower?”
I winced in pain. He used to be such a sweet kid. How did he become like this?
Casually, I said, “I was wondering whether the film emperor’s scrubbing skills can rival those of a bathhouse old-timer?”
Lu Guanlan let out a soft laugh and, taking the loofah off the rack, said, “Hold the wall and stand still.”
Wait… is he really going to scrub?
Suddenly tense, I started frantically trying to remember if I had scrubbed properly yesterday or the day before.
I don’t want the film emperor to scrub two pounds of dirt off me.
“Is the pressure okay?”
“It hurts! Hurts!”
He was barely applying any force, and I was faking it. I slipped away from under his hand like a fish, putting some distance between us.
“You… your technique is lacking, just stop.”
Lu Guanlan shot me a cold look. “Master Han, since you’re so good at this, why don’t you teach me?”
“…”
That again.
I had taught him how to kiss, taught him action scenes, and in the end, who benefited? Certainly not me.
I mumbled, “I’m not teaching you anymore. You’ll just go and serve someone else.”
Lu Guanlan raised an eyebrow. “Who am I going to scrub?”
“Your co-stars. I teach you how to kiss, and you go kiss someone else.
“I teach you how to sleep, and you go sleep with someone else.
“I’m not teaching you anything else.”
Lu Guanlan’s face darkened. “Other than you, when have I ever filmed a kissing scene?”
I was stunned.
His gaze turned intense, and he sneered, “Master Han, have you ever watched any of my movies?”
“…”
Uh-oh, I’d been caught.
I’d only ever looked at his posters and the plot summaries, keeping up with his roadshows and press conferences.
But I never watched the actual films. I was too afraid of seeing things I didn’t want to see.
What if he was all lovey-dovey with someone else in the movie? It would be too cruel, especially when our project was destined to stay buried in the dark.
While I hesitated, Lu Guanlan’s face grew more colorful. “So you really don’t watch them, huh?”
His voice even sounded a little aggrieved. “I…”
I tried to come up with a retort, but Lu Guanlan, with a cold expression, yanked me under the shower to rinse off.
He tossed a towel over my head.
With a sneer, he said, “It’s fine. I’ll catch up with you, movie by movie.”
Leaning in close to my ear, Lu Guanlan whispered darkly, “Let’s start by watching the one we did together.”
“…”
Save me, save me. Ten years ago, that movie never even got released domestically. Even overseas, it barely ran a few showings before being pulled.
All you can find online now is a 30-minute censored version, with most of it cut out.
But somehow, Lu Guanlan has a full, uncut HD version!
A full two hours.
He clicked it open and resumed from where it left off last time.
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Lhaozi[Translator]
To all my lock translations, 1 chapter will be unlocked every sunday. Weekly update for all my ongoing translations. For all my complete lock novel translation, If you want to purchased it for offline reading DM me in Discord: Lhaozi(I'm a member in Shanghai Fantasy discord) or Send me message in my Email: [email protected]