---

---

Xiao Ce pressed his lips into a thin line.
“Lu Ze’an, did I ever praise you?”

…As expected, men who can’t get it up always act like bitter wives.

I chuckled awkwardly, then secretly signaled to the madam.
“Madam, my new friend here has some… physical issues. Today, let the girls use their best skills. If anyone can help my friend regain his vitality, I will reward her generously.”

I placed two large silver ingots in the madam’s hands.
Her wrinkled face blossomed into a smile, and she immediately summoned the girls, who all rushed toward Xiao Ce.

But Xiao Ce remained unmoved, quietly watching the girls’ flirtatious movements without showing any physical response. He even downed two more cups of wine.

No, this won’t do! Seeing him like that made me furious.
I had promised the Empress Dowager—Xiao Ce has to “rise” today, whether he likes it or not!

As I stared at him intently, Xiao Ce frowned. “Lu Ze’an, why are you staring at me?”
I blurted out, “…I’m checking why you can’t get it up!”

Xiao Ce was stunned for a second, then laughed angrily.

“Lu Ze’an, you seem very concerned about whether I can perform. Since that’s the case, why don’t you… come test it yourself?”

Before he could finish, I lunged at him, clinging to his neck and giving him a quick peck on the lips.
I glanced at his legs and sneered lightly. “See? You’ve already reacted.”

Xiao Ce’s face alternated between red and white, and he was breathing unevenly.
“Lu Ze’an, get out!”

Knowing when to stop, I immediately dashed away. “Alright, alright!”

---

5

Xiao Ce is definitely doing this on purpose.
Otherwise, how could it be that the moment I returned home, I received his decree saying he wanted to marry my sister?
And my sister, being the clueless person she is, didn’t realize that this was Xiao Ce’s blatant revenge against our Lu family.

So, I decided to give her a crash course.
“This is what happened…”

“In a brothel full of women, he didn’t react at all.”
“I was even kind enough to help him check what’s wrong down there, and he had the nerve to tell me to get out! This guy only has a good-looking face, but his character is seriously lacking.”

My little sister didn’t grasp the gravity of the situation and instead squealed, “Wow, that’s so shippable!”
Me: “?”

What on earth are you shipping?
My sister exclaimed:
“Well, Guan Yu wouldn’t check whether Zhang Fei can get it up either!” ^[1]TL’s Note: About who is Guam Yu & Zhang Fei, Liu Bei, the emperor of the Kingdom of Shu 蜀, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei are his generals. There is an well known ancient story that recounts … Continue reading

Shipping random things will be the death of you!
I know exactly what Xiao Ce is like.

There’s no way I’m letting my sister fall into this trap.
So, I stormed into the palace to confront Xiao Ce.

“Your Majesty, why must you marry my sister?”

Of course, Xiao Ce wouldn’t admit he’s doing this for revenge. Without even looking up, he said, “The Lu family is a prestigious clan with a history spanning centuries. A royal marriage is a natural progression.”

But I won’t let my sister be sacrificed.
I raised my head proudly and said, “If a royal marriage is necessary, I can marry the princess.”

Xiao Ce finally looked up at me and sneered.

“Heh, Lu Ze’an, you really want it all, don’t you? We grew up together; do you think I don’t know your true nature? I wouldn’t let my own sister fall into that pit.”

We stared each other down.

Wait a minute… everything he just said… were my exact words!

So, in the span of one incense stick’s burning time, the palace eunuchs witnessed an angry Imperial Scholar storm into the emperor’s private chambers, only to leave even angrier a short while later.

---

6

The matter of my sister concerned the reputation of the Lu family.
Naturally, it alarmed my eldest and second brothers.

During our family meeting, I passionately proposed a rebellion to storm the palace and save my sister.
Second Brother fully supported me, while Eldest Brother calmly sipped his tea, book in hand.

I was dissatisfied.
“Eldest Brother, are you planning to go easy on Xiao Ce?”

Eldest Brother, frail and scholarly, coughed lightly.
“Breaking into the palace counts as treason. Are you sure about this?”

Of course! I only have one sister, and I won’t let her be ruined by Xiao Ce, who clearly has… shortcomings.
So, I had Second Brother bring along Eldest Brother, while I, armed and ready, headed to the palace first.

There were few guards at the gate, and I easily made my way in.

Laughable—there wasn’t a single person to stop me.

Through the window of the emperor’s private quarters, I could vaguely see two figures sitting opposite each other.

Xiao Ce’s calm voice drifted out from inside:
“Miss Lu, there’s no need to worry.”
“I won’t harm you. I’m just… fishing.”

Fishing?
I snorted internally.
If you can’t get it up, just admit it. Using fishing as an excuse in the middle of the night? Ridiculous.
And besides, what kind of fish bites a hook at this hour?

I bellowed,
“Little Sister, don’t worry! Third Brother is here to save you!”

With a bang, I kicked the door—but it didn’t budge.
I kicked a few more times. The old door wobbled but refused to break.
No wonder the Forbidden City’s defenses were so lax—the materials of these doors are truly formidable. They look worn-out, but are actually tough as nails.

Just as I was contemplating how to break through the door, Xiao Ce’s exasperated voice came from inside.

“Imperial Scholar, stop kicking. The door opens outward.”

Me: “…”

I quietly retracted my foot and opened the door by hand.

Inside, my little sister was happily playing Pai Gow with Xiao Ce.

Oblivious as ever, my sister beamed and said,
“Third Brother, you’re here! Want to join us?”

Xiao Ce, lips pressed tightly, was impossible to read.
“Are you reassured now that I haven’t touched your sister?”

I looked down at the broom in my hand.

Neither advancing nor retreating seemed appropriate.
“Your Majesty, I’ve already stormed into the palace.”
“Claiming I’m just here to clean doesn’t quite fit the situation.”

Xiao Ce raised an eyebrow.
“So? Does the Imperial Scholar intend to…”

I dropped the broom and leaped forward, pinning Xiao Ce beneath me. My legs locked tightly around his slender waist, fearing he might resist.

But unexpectedly, Xiao Ce didn’t resist at all. He simply lowered his long, feather-like eyelashes.
As he curled his legs beneath his red robes, his knee nudged against my hips, and he gazed up at me with a teasing smile, the corner of his lips slightly curved.
“Imperial Scholar, what are you doing?”

I was momentarily dazed by the glint in his sly fox’s eyes.