Chapter 53.2

The affection that had been subtly growing between them was now fully apparent to Xue Ming. She realized that Yan Yuhe’s unspoken feelings had taken root in her heart, entwining her with countless emotional vines. Any slight movement would stir these feelings, causing a resounding reaction.
Despite experiencing many unfortunate events and difficult relationships, Xue Ming still held hope for the world, believing she would be loved someday. Retracting her hand, she gently rubbed her bandaged palm, feeling itchy as the pain dissipated. Looking at Yan Yuhe, she asked, “You haven’t had a proper conversation with me these past few days. I have some things I want to talk to you about.”

Yan Yuhe replied, “There’s no need.”

“Hmm?” Xue Ming was puzzled. “What do you mean, no need?”

“There’s no need to say what you want to say,” Yan Yuhe said, turning his head away, his tone somewhat stiff.

Xue Ming looked at his profile, still as handsome as ever, but his brows were furrowed, casting a shadow over his face, making him look somber and slightly angry. She said, “I haven’t even said anything yet. How do you know what I want to say?”

“It’s nothing but talk about leaving me,” Yan Yuhe said, his hidden anger surfacing. “That’s absolutely impossible.”

Xue Ming was stunned. “I never said I wanted to leave you.”

Yan Yuhe’s expression did not soften, clearly not believing Xue Ming’s words. He sat there, surrounded by an icy aura, making the air around him cold. He said in a deep voice, “Wasn’t it you who said in front of my master that you would leave on your own, that the world is vast, and you would find a place to stay?”

Xue Ming was shocked, remembering how Yan Yuhe’s master had told her to speak freely, assuring her that Yan Yuhe wouldn’t hear. She hadn’t expected that Yan Yuhe had actually heard everything from outside the window. Feeling a headache coming on, she explained, “Those were just words to appease your master, not meant to be taken seriously.”

Yan Yuhe replied, “Why do you keep praising Liu Mengyuan in front of me, saying he’s good-looking and likable? Are you trying to tell me that he can also transfer yang energy to you and that you like him, too?”

Xue Ming felt wronged, thinking Yan Yuhe had stewed in jealousy for days. She said, “I only mentioned it twice, and I see him as a younger brother, which is why I praise him. Why would you think otherwise?”

Yan Yuhe said, “You said you could get yang energy from any man, not just me.”

Xue Ming felt a pang in her heart, a bitter feeling spreading inside her. She remembered saying that when she misunderstood Yan Yuhe’s intentions, thinking he wanted to take her soul. She had said those words in anger after escaping, not meaning them genuinely. She hadn’t expected Yan Yuhe to remember and hold onto it for so long.

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Xue Ming said.

“You told me yesterday that you wouldn’t mind separating from me, that you could accept it immediately, which is why you don’t want to marry me. You plan to leave at any time,” Yan Yuhe said, his dark eyes locking onto hers. “Let me tell you, I don’t accept that. If you don’t want to marry me now, I’ll wait until you do. You can go anywhere in this vast world, but I must accompany you.”

The long-frozen mountain finally cracked, letting out a stream of obsessive, yet pure and clear, water.

Yan Yuhe was not an easy person. Although he appeared emotionally stable and indifferent to everything, he was somewhat twisted inside, obsessively determined once he made up his mind. He had likely been pondering this for days, appearing normal on the surface but internally conflicted, his words now tinged with bitterness and stubbornness. However, there wasn’t a misunderstanding between the two of them. What Xue Ming said yesterday did indeed contain some hints. After all, becoming immortal couldn’t be measured by money, a car, or any limited thing. It represented a bright and promising future, an incomparable prospect. Everyone thought Xue Ming would become an obstacle for him, but Xue Ming didn’t want to burden Yan Yuhe and wanted him to make his own choice. She moved forward a little, held Yan Yuhe’s hand, and gently squeezed his fingers in her palm, saying softly, “I’m sorry. I admit I had thought about leaving you before, but that idea was based on your choice. Everyone in your sect says you will become immortal and ascend, while I am ultimately a mortal with a limited lifespan. Even if we truly love each other for a lifetime and stay together until old age, it would only be a hundred years at most. Maybe you can find countless reincarnations of me, but in this life, Xue Ming can only have one of you. I’ve been thinking these past few days that if you ascend to the heavens, meet many beautiful fairies, and have a new life, at least I can say goodbye to you with dignity, right?”

“I do like you. In my heart, I really hope you don’t go to the heavens and stay with me forever.” Xue Ming curved her lips into a light smile and said, “You are not only good-looking but also so capable, and you like me and treat me so well. Do you know? No one has ever treated me so well. How could I bear to let go? But I can’t interfere with your choice. If you insist on ascending, I can’t force you to stay by crying, making a scene, or threatening to hang myself.”

Xue Ming had long been accustomed to giving up and not fighting for herself, thinking that going with the flow would make life more comfortable. Whether you call it cowardice or indifference to the world, this has been Xue Ming’s survival rule. In reality, it’s just the fear of fighting and ending up with nothing, only to make herself sad and hurt.

“When did I ever say I wanted to ascend?” Yan Yuhe tightened his grip on her fingers, his lips pressed together as he said, “On the day we returned to the mountain, I had already informed my master that I was giving up the chance to become an immortal.”

“What?” Xue Ming was astonished. “You made your choice long ago? Why?”

“There are countless paths to immortality. Why would I need this one reward?” Yan Yuhe said, his eyes revealing a hint of arrogance despite his casual tone. He glanced at Xue Ming and added, “If I ascend to the heavens, wouldn’t that give you a chance to find someone else to transfer yang energy to you? Absolutely not.”

Xue Ming was momentarily confused, realizing that what she and Yan Yuhe had been worrying about these past days were entirely different things. She thought Yan Yuhe’s recent moodiness and apparent gloom were due to his difficult choice, but in reality, he didn’t care at all. He seemed confident about ascending; whether it was this time or the next, it was just a matter of time.

First, Yan Yuhe said that all cultivators in the world aim to achieve the great Dao. Then, his master mentioned that becoming immortal was rare. Furthermore, other disciples in the sect believed that Yan Yuhe would definitely not give up this opportunity, leading Xue Ming to be influenced from the start, thinking that this chance to ascend was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Yan Yuhe, something that could not be sought after. But Yan Yuhe’s recent frustration stemmed entirely from her words about leaving that day. He was jealous and sulking and even refused to communicate with her. Today, he smashed his sword, probably to vent his anger, and finally expressed his dissatisfaction.

Xue Ming thought to herself: This stubborn gourd is quite cute when angry. She had more yin energy in her body, while Yan Yuhe had more pent-up frustration.

“Alright, alright, don’t be angry. I didn’t say anything; it’s you who thought of all those things and made yourself angry.” Xue Ming hugged him with her hands wrapped like buns, patted his back twice to comfort him, then buried her head in his shoulder and laughed softly before asking, “What are your plans for the future?”

Yan Yuhe’s expression had improved significantly, especially after Xue Ming said she liked him. The gloominess around him dissipated, and he became more at ease. “After finishing everything today, I’ll take you down the mountain.”

Xue Ming asked, “Where to?”

“You are half-ghost. You can cultivate the ghost path. I’ll take you to train,” Yan Yuhe said. “As long as you cultivate like that ginseng and become a spirit, you can extend your lifespan to thousands or tens of thousands of years. There will always be a time to ascend.”

Xue Ming was delighted but also felt a sense of unreality. She dazedly said, “So I really can’t become a normal person anymore. I always thought that as long as the yin energy in my body dissipated, I could return to normal.” She had almost forgotten that her body was born from the union of a ghost king and a mortal, making her half-human, half-ghost. That’s why she could eat underworld food in the ghost realm and stand among thousands of ghosts without being recognized as a living person. She could stand in the sunlight as a human and walk freely in the underworld as a ghost, no longer an ordinary mortal.

Yan Yuhe had his plans, and Xue Ming had hers. She leaned on Yan Yuhe’s shoulder, took something out from her bosom, then took his hand and slipped it onto his middle finger.

“What is this?” Yan Yuhe looked down and saw that it was a ring made of grass, with a small red flower the size of a fingernail on it. The color was very bright, and the ring fit perfectly on his long, fair fingers.

Xue Ming took out another ring and put it on her own finger, saying, “This is a token of my affection for you.”

He remembered that the night before last, Xue Ming had sneaked out of bed, claiming she was getting water, but actually squatted by the bed, looking at and touching his fingers, not knowing what she was doing. Yan Yuhe didn’t ask at the time, thinking she just liked his hands. Now, it seemed she was measuring the size of his fingers.

“What use does it have?” Yan Yuhe asked again.

“It has no use. It’s just a little trinket,” Xue Ming said, looking at her hand and smiling. “I made it for fun.”

In fact, Xue Ming had thought earlier that if Yan Yuhe chose her, she would give him this ring. Although this grass ring had no monetary value, it carried her sincere and unique affection, which might seem cheap to others but was priceless to her. Previously, Yan Yuhe had said that useless things should be discarded, but now he nonchalantly lowered his hand, letting the not-so-delicate grass ring stay on his finger.

People have mouths for eating and communicating. Sitting down and talking can lead to a huge change in mood, sweeping away the gloom of the past few days.

Yan Yuhe got up and said he would go out to finish the last bit of business and take her down the mountain in the evening.

Xue Ming was happy for a while in the room, and when she went out again, she was all smiles, her face beaming. When she arrived at the main hall, she found only one female disciple waiting. She asked where the others had gone, and the girl said that Liu Mengyuan had been greatly shocked and fainted on the spot, and the others had taken him to see a doctor, leaving her to inform Xue Ming to avoid any rudeness.

Xue Ming wanted to laugh but was afraid of seeming gloating, so she said a few words seriously, asking the girl to comfort Liu Mengyuan on her behalf. The female disciple agreed and, before leaving, whispered to Xue Ming, “Sister Xue, don’t worry about Senior Brother smashing the sword today. When you said the sword hurt your hand, we all realized that the sword was connected to Senior Brother’s spirit. It wasn’t his intention to hurt you; the sword itself was rejecting you. So it’s good that he smashed it to prevent it from hurting you again.”