Chapter 5 – 05

Lou Jia stood there motionless, but her heart was pounding uncontrollably. She looked at Jiang Siwei and saw the brightness in his dark eyes.

“Jiang Siwei, have you had too much to drink?” She couldn’t tell if these were just the words of a drunk man, but she knew clearly that these were his true feelings that had been hidden for many years.

Jiang Siwei lowered his eyelids, appearing both drunk and sober: “I…”

A sudden ringtone interrupted the moment.

It was Jian Rongrong’s call.

Lou Jia didn’t move, staying where she was as she answered the call.

Jian Rongrong didn’t have anything urgent to discuss. She had been busy for a while, and only recently had some free time. She suddenly remembered her good little brother, whom she had sent off to the mountains, and called specifically to check in on him.

“Everything’s fine. He had a bit of a fever a few days ago, but he’s better now.” Lou Jia glanced at Jiang Siwei, who sat on a rock with his head lowered.

He had two hair whorls on the top of his head.

She remembered her grandmother once saying that people like that tend to be quite stubborn.

On the phone, Jian Rongrong was still laughing, “To be honest, if you hadn’t been in such a hurry to find someone, I really wouldn’t have sent him there.”

“Why?” Lou Jia withdrew her gaze and casually took two steps to the side.

“With his personality, I doubt any kids would like him…” Jian Rongrong said. “He always has that sour face, like everyone owes him money.”

“He’s not that bad,” Lou Jia replied.

“You think he’s not that bad because he only acts like a normal person in front of you,” Jian Rongrong laughed. “The other day I had dinner with Aunt Jiang, and she was still worried about Jiang Siwei. She said that during his four years in college, all he ever did was spend time in the lab. He’s so reserved, and she doesn’t even know if he’ll ever find a partner in the future.”

“Is it really that exaggerated?” Lou Jia found it amusing and glanced at Jiang Siwei again.

He was still in the same position, with his long legs planted on the ground. The contours of his side profile were perfectly defined, making him handsome from every angle.

“With that face, they could easily put him on the cover of the admissions brochure,” she said.

“But who would like a cold, tight-lipped person like a gourd with a sealed mouth?” Jian Rongrong remarked sincerely.

“…”

Perhaps noticing Lou Jia’s gaze, Jiang Siwei suddenly turned his head to look in her direction.

In that instant, as Lou Jia met Jiang Siwei’s eyes, she was suddenly reminded of his feverish, reddened eyes from before, and the burning warmth of his palm when he unconsciously held her hand.

Jian Rongrong’s voice on the phone, combined with the lively sounds from the cafeteria just a wall away, blended together, becoming the background noise of her memories.

The memories flashed through her mind like a reel of film, quickly skimming by, only to freeze on this very moment.

Lou Jia walked back in front of Jiang Siwei, as if she had reached the exit of a maze.

She finally realized that Jiang Siwei seemed to be different when he was with her compared to how he was with others.

Was it an illusion?

But the closeness they shared in their youth, the sudden and inexplicable break in contact when they became adults, and his ambiguous attitude upon their reunion—

All of these seemed to tell Lou Jia that this was not just her imagination.

“Rongrong, I’ve got something to take care of over here, so I’ll hang up now.” Lou Jia ended the call and looked at the clearly intoxicated Jiang Siwei in front of her. She seemed a little at a loss and, after a long silence, finally said, “You’d better be drunk.”

Right on cue, Jiang Siwei leaned forward as if he really were drunk.

Lou Jia called Fang Jin, asking him to help send Jiang Siwei back to his dormitory. The gathering in the cafeteria wasn’t over yet, and she couldn’t stay away for too long.

“Sorry for the trouble,” she said.

Fang Jin, being an easygoing person, waved his hand and said, “No problem. You should head back in; Principal Luo was just looking for you.”

“Got it.”

Lou Jia returned to the table, but her thoughts were completely preoccupied with Jiang Siwei, so much so that she didn’t even notice when Zhang Lin offered her food twice.

Finally, when the gathering came to an end, Lou Jia accompanied Principal Luo to send Zhang Lin and the others who came with him to rest at a local villager’s house.

“Looks like you didn’t eat much tonight. Something on your mind?” Zhang Lin slowed his pace and asked.

Lou Jia shook her head, “It’s nothing. I just don’t feel like eating when I drink.”

Zhang Lin chuckled softly, “You still haven’t kicked that habit, huh?”

Back in college, Lou Jia often joined Zhang Lin and a few of his teammates from the basketball team for late-night snacks. Seeing her drink without eating had startled everyone at the table.

No matter how much Zhang Lin tried to persuade her, she never changed that habit. In the end, he could only watch her take a sip of alcohol and follow it with a piece of meat.

“Habits aren’t something you can just change,” Lou Jia, unwilling to dwell on the past, quickened her pace. “How long are you planning to stay this time?”

“Not sure,” Zhang Lin glanced at her with a hint of meaning. “It depends on whether things work out.”

Lou Jia caught the underlying meaning in his words. After a few seconds of silence, she said, “You’ve been out of the country for too long. A lot of things have changed.”

“Things are in our hands,” Zhang Lin replied.

“Sometimes, holding on too tightly to the past isn’t a good thing.” She didn’t like to drag things out, whether with people or matters. “Zhang Lin, if you want to donate and do some good, I welcome you. But beyond that, there’s nothing more I can give you.”

“Why?” Zhang Lin suddenly asked, “Is it because of Jiang Siwei?”

Lou Jia was surprised by his sharpness but didn’t answer.

Zhang Lin continued, “The way he looks at you is different. I know exactly what that means.”

Lou Jia still didn’t answer his question. Instead, she said, “In your life, I’ve always been a choice you made after weighing the pros and cons. It was that way when we were dating, and it was the same when we broke up. I’m afraid that even now, I’m just another calculated choice for you.”

“I’m a stubborn person. I don’t like having a Plan B when I do things, and I don’t like going back to the past. I prefer to look forward. I also believe that all kinds of people will appear in my future. Whether it’s Jiang Siwei or someone else doesn’t matter. What matters is that I like them. I don’t need to weigh whether they’re suitable or not. As long as I like them and they’re willing to give me what I want, I’m more than happy to accept them into my life.” Her tone was calm. “But no matter what, that person will never be you.”

“I should have realized it earlier, but I just… couldn’t accept it,” Zhang Lin laughed bitterly, mocking himself. “I was the one who thought everything would turn out perfectly.”

Lou Jia didn’t offer any words of comfort.

The two walked in silence until they reached the door of the villager’s house. Zhang Lin spoke again, “Siwei is a good guy, you two…”

“You don’t need to tell me that,” Lou Jia interrupted, smiling slightly. “Get some rest. I’m heading back now.”

Zhang Lin didn’t try to stop her, and he no longer had the right to.

The next morning, Lou Jia received his farewell text: [Lou Jia, I’m flying back to the U.S. tomorrow morning. I wish you happiness.]

She didn’t reply, setting her phone down and walking out of the dorm.

The sunlight was beautiful.

And so was the start of a new day.

Lou Jia strode forward and bumped into Jiang Siwei, who had just returned from his morning run at the courtyard gate. She glanced at the time. “You’re up this early?”

Jiang Siwei’s gaze wandered, avoiding hers. He rubbed his nose and said, “The mosquitoes woke me up.”

“You guys didn’t light any mosquito coils?”

“No, last night…” He was caught off guard by the mention of a sensitive topic, making him feel even guiltier. “Brother Jin and I drank too much.”

Lou Jia let out a meaningful “Oh,” and said, “You did drink quite a lot.”

Jiang Siwei, feeling his head heat up and his limbs going numb from her comment, quickly said, “I’ll go take a shower first. I’m all sweaty and it’s really uncomfortable.”

In his hurry to leave, he even mixed up his steps, walking awkwardly.

Lou Jia couldn’t help but laugh aloud, clearly amused.

Hearing her laughter, Jiang Siwei quickened his pace but tripped on the steps, falling straight into Fang Jin, who had just walked out of the dorm.

“Whoa, what the—!” Fang Jin was startled.

Lou Jia couldn’t hold back her laughter any longer. Watching Jiang Siwei clumsily pull away from Fang Jin, she walked over and asked, “You two didn’t hurt yourselves, did you?”

“No,” Fang Jin replied, patting Jiang Siwei’s shoulder. “Kid, you’ve got quite the strength. Good thing I’ve got some padding; otherwise, we’d both be flat on the ground right now.”

Jiang Siwei rubbed his face and let out an awkward laugh. “I was in too much of a hurry. Sorry, Brother Jin, I’ll go shower first. You two talk.”

Without even glancing at Lou Jia, he quickly headed into the bathroom next door.

Lou Jia and Fang Jin finished getting ready to go out, chatting as they walked toward the cafeteria. For the rest of the day, Jiang Siwei mostly kept his distance and didn’t appear around her much.

In the evening, Lou Jia and Ying Xi were in the office organizing materials.

“Where’s Xiao Jiang?” Ying Xi asked.

Lou Jia shook her head. “I didn’t notice. He’s probably gone with Fang Jin and the others to collect firewood at the back hill.”

It was Sunday, a day off for the school, and everyone was busy with their own things. It was only then that Lou Jia realized she hadn’t seen much of Jiang Siwei that day.

“Did you two have a fight?” Ying Xi looked up at Lou Jia.

“No,” Lou Jia paused her work as well. “Why ask that all of a sudden?”

“Normally, he’s always by your side. Whenever I see you, he’s never more than a meter away,” Ying Xi remarked. “Just like how Xiao Mao always follows Uncle Yang in the cafeteria.”

Uncle Yang was the cook in the cafeteria, and Xiao Mao was a stray dog he had picked up from the mountains.

“Is it that obvious?” Lou Jia laughed, finding Ying Xi’s comparison quite fitting.

“Very obvious,” Ying Xi confirmed with certainty.

Lou Jia thought for a moment and sent Jiang Siwei a message, asking where he was.

Jiang Siwei replied quickly: [At the back hill.]

Lou Jia held her phone, unsure what to say next. Just as she was about to put it away, another message from Jiang Siwei popped up.

Jiang Siwei: [I heard from Brother Jin that Mr. Zhang left today.]

Lou Jia was stunned for a second before realizing he was referring to Zhang Lin. She wasn’t sure why he suddenly brought it up, so she simply replied with an [Mm.]

The “typing…” notification at the top lasted for a long time.

Jiang Siwei: [Did you two make up?]

Lou Jia: […]

Lou Jia: [No.]

Another long “typing…” notification appeared.

Jiang Siwei: [Why not? Wasn’t he here to make up with you?]

Lou Jia raised her eyebrow slightly and replied: [How do you know he was here to make up?]

Jiang Siwei: [It was obvious. I could tell.]

Lou Jia: […]

Jiang Siwei asked again: [Was it you who didn’t agree?]

Lou Jia: [Mm.]

Jiang Siwei: [Why?]

Lou Jia found it amusing: [Why do you have so many “whys”?]

It took Jiang Siwei a long time to reply: [I want to know.]

Lou Jia thought his stubbornness was rather cute. Remembering what Ying Xi had just said, she responded: [Because I already have a little dog at home ^_^]

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Author’s Note:

Sister: Who’s the little dog?

Little Jiang: It’s me =3=

Taking a break this weekend.

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