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Zhao Ziqiang tossed and turned in bed early in the morning, busy as a bee as he shaved and changed clothes. Qian Wang raised an eyebrow, watching his lover hustle around without saying a word. Annoyed, he thumped the bed with his foot, causing Zhao Ziqiang to turn back and glare at him.
“I’m going to take care of something very important today. Congratulations, you can have some free time.”
Qian Wang sighed.
“It’s just going home to pay New Year’s greetings, why say it so solemnly?”
After saying this, he covered his head with the blanket and continued to sleep.
Zhao Ziqiang stared at the messy, undulating bed, feeling a bit distracted.
In his eyes, Qian Wang was a contradiction. Out in public, he was well-dressed and courteous, but at home—most of the time, in fact, he acted like a child. His thoughts and demeanor—stubborn, lazy, and throwing tantrums were just like a kid’s. Just like now, it was as if he were the same as he always had been, impatiently covering his head with the blanket, refusing to get up early.
While having lunch with his parents at home, when asked why Qian Wang hadn’t come along, he blurted out, “He’s dating someone.”
Zhao Dad put down his chopsticks. “Don’t bring your personal matters to the family dinner table!”
Zhao Ziqiang touched his nose, “Just joking…”
Zhao Mom didn’t say anything and tossed a piece of braised pork into her son’s mouth.
“Stop joking around so much.”
Zhao Zili, Zhao Ziqiang’s younger sister, glared at their parents with an annoyed expression.
“Can you stop talking to my brother like that?”
Zhao Ziqiang frowned and looked up, “Lili!”
“Hmph.” Zhao Dad completely left the dining table, walking away without a word. In the end, the meal ended on an unhappy note.
Zhao Zili sat on Zhao Ziqiang’s bed with teary eyes.
“They’re still like this! Always like this! It’s so annoying…”
Zhao Ziqiang, however, lay back unconcerned, playing with his sister’s hand.
“Look at these little hands, so tender. Being young is great…”
“Bro…”
Zhao Ziqiang propped himself up.
“I’ve gotten used to it after all these years. Why are you being so stubborn? Alright, Mom and Dad miss you, go talk to them properly.”
Zhao Zili awkwardly left the room but didn’t go to find their parents. Instead, she grabbed her phone and went out, standing in the cold hallway, speaking angrily into the phone that had just connected.
“Professor Quan, how come you’ve been bullying my brother? Can you tell me what that’s about? Huh? I heard you’ve been happily dating recently?”
Qian Wang had just gotten out of bed, staring blankly at the empty half of the bed when he was startled into a daze by a barrage of questions from the phone.
“How did you know?”
“You…!”
Zhao Zili hung up the phone angrily. She was now a student of Qian Wang, and because of her brother, their relationship was not bad. She lived on campus and Qian Wang took good care of her.
Sometimes, when it comes to other people’s problems, you can’t really step in to help, even if they are your close relatives. All you can do is feel frustrated for a moment.
After lunch in the afternoon, Zhao Ziqiang left to get a buzz cut at the barber shop, which made him look much younger. However, when he returned home and was seen by Qian Wang, the latter frowned hard.
What Qian Wang thought was: You look like a man now. But then he realized that Zhao Ziqiang was indeed a man; wasn’t he always?
He held his tongue and said nothing. When Zhao Ziqiang sat down next to him, he finally pouted and asked, “What did you and your sister talk about?”
Zhao Ziqiang ignored him, roughly trimming his nails with a nail clipper. After finishing and smoothing them out, he gently asked, “What are you really concerned about?”
They hadn’t mentioned Sun Kan’s matter between them, and even though their uneasy balance was built on falsehood, neither wanted to disrupt it easily—one was hesitant, while the other felt lost.
Zhao Ziqiang drank a glass of water and continued, “You rarely touch me anymore.”
Seeing Qian Wang stare at him in surprise, he chuckled. “Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about sex. I mean physical contact. You don’t hug my waist when I pour water, you don’t wrap your legs around me when we sleep, you don’t kiss me hard in the morning, and you don’t cuddle with me while watching TV at night anymore.”
Qian Wang moved his lips, but Zhao Ziqiang went on without waiting for a response.
“Don’t make excuses. I know you’re annoyed with me. “When two people are together for some time, it’s possible for them to start disliking each other; however, that feeling is one-sided on your part—I love you. If feelings aren’t deep, they can easily change. I admit it’s my fault for not making you love me more deeply.”
Qian Wang clenched his fists, feeling a rush of emotions he couldn’t explain.
Zhao Ziqiang wanted to see what Qian Wang would say, but he noticed that “I love you” didn’t seem to move him. Grimacing, he squeezed his own shoulder.
“You think I’ve gained weight, right? Look… I’ve got some muscle now,” he said, pinching his own cheeks. “My face feels quite firm too.” He extended both hands and added, “I think my joints are just sticking out because of typing, or maybe it’s from cooking. Heh.”
The awkwardness flashed across Qian Wang’s face. He had never used any pet names for Zhao Ziqiang, just calling him by his full name, while Zhao Ziqiang had always referred to him as “teacher,” though he had done so less frequently over the past two years.
Sitting quietly, the two of them appeared composed, like colleagues engaged in a regular conversation, devoid of any intimacy.
Sighing, Zhao Ziqiang walked toward the bathroom. “It’s getting late; let’s wash up and go to bed.”
Lying in bed, Zhao Ziqiang suddenly rolled over and positioned himself on top of Qian Wang, adopting a serious tone.
“Teacher, I have a question, and you have to answer truthfully.”
With his head resting on the pillow, Qian Wang looked at Zhao Ziqiang. “Go ahead.”
“You… do you like hearing me say that every night?”
Qian Wang breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that Zhao Ziqiang hadn’t brought up Sun Kan.
In truth, he had been feeling a mix of excitement and even some urges he couldn’t quite explain; perhaps it was just the ups and downs of life that had stirred him.
“I do.”
Zhao Ziqiang smiled brightly, leaning down to gently touch Qian Wang’s lips.
“I love you. Good night.”
Qian Wang looked into Zhao Ziqiang’s eyes, seeing only himself reflected back. Suddenly, a strong desire to possess him surged in his heart. He wanted to own Zhao Ziqiang completely, to have him in every way. Grabbing Zhao Ziqiang, he pressed him down beneath him. Zhao Ziqiang had always been very accommodating in this regard, and today was exactly as he had imagined: an embrace, a person to hold; in every way, it felt perfectly fit.
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