Chapter 27: Life is Short, What Joy Without You

When Sang Yuwan took Li Mo away, she left a letter:

To my most beloved—Cichuan:

I hope this letter finds you well.

It’s ironic, really. I wish you an awful death, to fall into the depths of hell and never be reborn, yet I still want you to be well. I disgust myself for feeling this way!

Cichuan, if I could, I would truly wish that we had never met, because it has always been a huge mistake! You called me your sunshine, full of warmth and brightness, but my passion ultimately burned me instead…

I love you, like a whale diving into the sea, like a bird flying into the forest, inevitable, with no way to retreat. I love you deeply, but in loving you, I lost everything—my parents, my brother, my child, and my purity. I am the sinner of the Li family.

I hate you deeply, but I have no way to take revenge. I really want to rip out your heart and see if it is truly black!

But life is too short to hate someone for so long… So I’ve decided to choose to forgive you, just this once, but we should never meet again in this lifetime or the next…

This is the last time I will say this in this life:

Cichuan, Je t’aime!

You need to live well.

Li Mo’s last words.

She wanted him to live, but life is short; what joy is there without you?

To him, she was a ray of warmth in the cold winter, a refuge in a cruel world, and the reason for him to keep living.

“Cichuan, no matter how bad you get, I will love you!”

The world had once given him a touch of gentleness to make up for his childhood suffering, but he crushed that gentleness into dust. Now, he still yearned for her to love him again, and even he found it absurd.

Since Erhai Lake is a gentle and dreamy place, if fate allowed us to meet, let me see her one last time… just once…

The summer breeze blew gently across his hair as he walked slowly into Erhai Lake, smiling. This was not death; it was the only way to see his wife. He was more than happy…

“Li Mo, I’ve come to find you…”

At the moment the water engulfed him, he saw the person he had dreamt of but could never meet upon waking.

“Cichuan, didn’t I tell you to live well?” She frowned slightly, her tone a bit reproachful.

“I’m sorry, I just miss you too much.” His answer was cautious, his voice hoarse and trembling.

“Cichuan, this is our last meeting…” Her expression was calm, revealing no emotion.

“I know, Li Mo… Please smile at me one last time, just like when we first met.” He tried hard to smile, wanting to avoid appearing too desperate.

“Okay.” Her eyes curved into a smile, warm like when they first met. His wife was so beautiful…

At that moment, he felt he shouldn’t be in this world; he should have been smothered at birth instead of surviving to this day.

From beginning to end, he had always been an ungrateful person. What right did someone like him have to live?

“Cichuan, goodbye…”

As she faded away, he clenched his fists, veins popping, and couldn’t maintain the smile. A single tear slipped from his red-rimmed eyes.

He moved his lips: “Li Mo, I love you…”

He felt fulfilled. Even if they would never meet again, even if he lived in darkness for all eternity, he was no longer afraid. At least he had briefly owned the sun; he had once lived in a world surrounded by gentleness and love…

I love you, for all eternity, even without a response. I willingly accept this as my punishment; I am unworthy of complaints…

In the end, he drowned in the place where they had first met…

Sang Yuwan didn’t tell Lu Chichuan that Li Mo had called her before jumping:

“Wanwan, I won’t eat the soup dumplings.”

“Wanwan, life is too short; I don’t have time to hate someone for so long, so I choose to forgive him…”

“After you help me fulfill those wishes, just return me to him…”

“I’ll love him one last time; if he dies, bury me beside him…”

At the funeral, Lu Sheng did not cry. Her sister knew that she was happy to see her.

On Li Mo’s left were her family, and on her right was Lu Chichuan…

“Lu Chichuan, go live well and atone for your sins… Never meeting again is my last wish for you.”

Sang Yuwan left the cemetery under the rain, with autumn approaching…

This hurried ending certainly does not match the gentle beginning…