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“I’ve done all those things, and I was wrong. There’s no excuse.”

“I don’t know what you think of me. I’m not as good as you imagine, but I wouldn’t say those things just to humiliate you. I was just angry that you hit me, and I have my pride. You did that in front of so many people, didn’t you?”

“But thinking back, like you said, I’ve been hyped up so much by the people on the frontlines that I’ve lost my way. I became too full of myself. Even if it wasn’t directed at you, saying those things to anyone would’ve been rude.”

“I won’t act like that anymore.”

“After you said those things to me, I reflected on myself. I’ve been away from home for six years now, wandering around and accomplishing nothing except being a smooth-talking veteran on the frontlines. I really don’t have the qualifications to be arrogant.”

“Colonel Wang also told me the reason I was able to join the Independent Regiment was because you recommended me. When my sister told me that you’ve been collecting information about me over the years, I couldn’t believe it. After all, I said all those things about you… I felt like I didn’t deserve any of it.”

“I’m really ashamed. To be honest, I don’t even know how I have the face to apologize. I don’t know what to say after not seeing you for so long. I’ve never even properly introduced myself, nor have I listened to anything you’ve said.”

As he continued speaking, he felt like he had completely messed things up, so he added, “I’ve said everything I wanted to say. If you still feel upset, you can hit me again.”

In truth, he really wanted to ask the other person if he still liked him, but after thinking about it for a long time, he didn’t have the courage to ask.

The two of them looked at each other without saying a word. Qiao Si Yu didn’t hit him, nor did he show any other reaction.

Gu Nanfeng thought that he didn’t want to forgive him, that he didn’t even want to say a single word to him. So he found a way out: “Well, I guess that’s that. Should I walk you to your dormitory?”

Qiao Si Yu lowered his head, walked past him, and left on his own.

Gu Nanfeng moved his legs but didn’t dare to follow him.

As he watched him walk farther and farther away, Gu Nanfeng suddenly shouted, “My name is Gu Nanfeng. Can we get to know each other again?”

He paused for a moment but then walked even faster.

Gu Nanfeng stood there, confused, trying to figure out the meaning behind that brief pause.

Si Yu ran all the way back to his dormitory, shut the door, and bent down to pull a notebook out of the trash.

The notebook had been slightly burned before he snatched it from the fire. Its cover was scorched, the edges of the pages blackened, and the paper had turned yellow, but the writing was still legible. He opened the first page of the notebook, laid it on the table, and pulled out a photograph that had been pressed under the table. He found some glue and stuck the photo back where the glue mark was still visible.

The photo showed a 20-year-old Gu Nanfeng smiling foolishly at the camera.

He picked up a pen and crossed out the word “smart” written beside the photo over and over again, then forcefully wrote “idiot.”

There were other descriptions next to the photo, like “brave,” “serious,” and “hardworking.”

Below that were some personal details—what weapons he preferred, the code numbers he used while serving, his favorite food, his favorite color. It looked like a fan’s notebook, filled with the idol’s habits and achievements.

These were things he had slowly collected over the years through the limited channels available to him.

When he first learned that he had a highly compatible sentinel, he was both excited and curious. Guides are more sensitive than sentinels, so when he first arrived at the capital star and heard that he had run away, he thought it was because he despised him for being mute.

It wasn’t until later that he found out he had been forced by his family to undergo the match, and afterward, he ran off to chase his dreams.

But with an 80% compatibility score, who could resist? That number clearly told him that he was the one destined for him.

And that was before they had even bonded. The bond would only make the compatibility higher.

It was like finding another version of yourself, someone who complemented you but was also independent. You would open your heart and mind to each other unconditionally, sharing everything with no reservations.

He desperately wanted to get to know Gu Nanfeng.

At the time, Gu Nanfeng had just graduated from the military academy, and there were still many records of him left at the school. When Si Yu transferred to the same school, he listened as the younger students talked endlessly about Gu Nanfeng, learning bits and pieces of both true and exaggerated information about the person he would spend his life with.

Si Yu learned that in Gu Nanfeng second year, he broke the school’s combat training record. In his third year, he joined the army on missions. From the moment he entered the school, he had won the Academy Cup every year. Si Yu took all these little bits of information and wrote them down in his notebook.

Over time, it felt as though he had become a part of his life. But in reality, it was incomplete, hollow.

Everyone talked about how clever Gu Nanfeng was, but no one mentioned his mischievous side. They praised his bravery but never mentioned his recklessness. So when he finally met Gu Nanfeng in person, nothing felt right. Gu Nanfeng wasn’t mature or steady, nor was he a master strategist. He wasn’t invincible or heroic.

Gu Nanfeng was just an ordinary sentinel.

He had plenty of flaws, lots of bad habits, and a terrible personality.

But he was incredibly capable, had protected him, and had even come to admit his mistakes, saying he wanted to get to know him again.

Sitting at him desk, he grabbed a new notebook and began writing.

…

May 20th, sunny

He came to the Independent Regiment. He told me he didn’t recognize me at the time, and the things he said were unintentional. He apologized and said I was amazing.

But I was still a little angry, so when I left, I didn’t answer his question.

Luckily, I pulled the notebook out before it burned completely, and I managed to stick the photo back. It would’ve been such a shame if it had been destroyed.

(He looked so silly shouting my name in the middle of the night.)

…

May 21st, sunny

When I was eating breakfast this morning, he passed by my table and secretly gave me a kiwi.

In the morning, he participated in the regiment’s training competition and came in second. His reward was an extra chicken leg at lunch.

In the afternoon during free time, I saw him go with some people to the strategy simulation room. I wanted to go watch, but I had to write the mission report for the upcoming trip to the frontlines.

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