DAMN RETARD
Damn Retard Chapter 5

16

So, on that Sunday, with no classes at school, Su Bai asked Lin Xiao to go out.

This was their first date, so Lin Xiao felt a bit strangely nervous. He changed outfits four or five times before leaving, wanting to look handsome enough to make Su Bai unable to look away, but not too flashy. He agonized over it for quite a while.

Su Bai, on the other hand, was more relaxed. He wore a simple, no-fuss T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, carrying a single-strap sling bag. He had been waiting at Lin Xiao’s dorm door early.

He looked plain, yet somehow dignified.

Lin Xiao raised his hand and scratched the tip of Su Bai’s little nose. “Where are we going?”

Su Bai mysteriously replied, “I won’t tell you yet. When we get there, you’ll be surprised.”

Lin Xiao couldn’t help but admire him: “Not bad, you’re learning quickly.”

Su Bai scratched his head awkwardly: “I heard our dorm leader say that creating a sense of mystery is really important. Before a date, you should pick a special place, but keep it a secret from the other person. When the mystery is revealed, it creates a surprise effect, and the other person’s happiness will be doubled.”

Lin Xiao felt a bit dizzy. “Alright, alright, planning a date doesn’t need to be like writing a thesis.”

Doubling happiness, huh!

An hour later, the two stood at the entrance of the Xinhai Revolution Memorial Hall.

Lin Xiao stiffly turned his head to look at Su Bai: “…”

Su Bai suddenly spread his arms wide, jumping in front of Lin Xiao, and shouted, “Surprised?”

Lin Xiao looked at him expressionlessly: “…”

Su Bai spread his arms again, trying to create a cheerful atmosphere, his glasses gleaming in the sunlight. “Guess what day it is today!”

Lin Xiao gritted his teeth. “I can’t guess.”

Su Bai adjusted his glasses with a firm tone. “Today is October 10th, the anniversary of the Xinhai Revolution!”

Lin Xiao: “…So what?”

Su Bai eagerly pulled Lin Xiao’s wrist and walked toward the memorial hall, speaking with confidence, “Our dorm leader said that during the process of pursuing someone you like, every holiday and meaningful day is an important chance to strengthen the relationship. You can’t forget it. You have to find a way to celebrate it together.”

Lin Xiao instantly wished he could slap himself back to three days ago.

Am I brain-dead? Why did I even let Su Bai try to be romantic and pursue me?

Seeing that Lin Xiao didn’t reply, Su Bai cautiously poked him with his finger. “You don’t like this, huh… That’s fine, there are other holidays coming up in a few days.”

Lin Xiao sucked in a cold breath. “What are they?”

Su Bai: “Tomorrow is World Pain Relief Day.”

Lin Xiao: “…”

Su Bai: “The day after tomorrow is the anniversary of the founding of the Chinese Young Pioneers.”

Lin Xiao: “………………”

Su Bai: “The 24th is United Nations Day.”

Lin Xiao: “………………….”

Su Bai: “The 28th is Men’s Reproductive Health Awareness Day.”

Lin Xiao: “???”

Su Bai looked at Lin Xiao with bright, focused eyes.

Lin Xiao finally managed to take a breath, adjusting his mood with a half-smile, “As for the 28th, I’m actually a bit interested.”

Su Bai widened his eyes. “Men’s Reproductive Health Day?”

Lin Xiao chuckled a couple of times, planning to tease this straight-laced guy: “How about we check each other’s reproductive health that day, as a way to celebrate?”

Su Bai hurriedly waved his hand: “Reproductive health checks need to be done at a urology clinic.”

Lin Xiao fell silent for a moment, then suddenly let out a heart-wrenching roar toward the sky!

“Damn, you fucking retard! Aahhhhh!!!”

17

Half-dead from Su Bai’s antics, Lin Xiao walked into the Xinhai Revolution Memorial Hall, looking completely drained.

Unaware that he had messed up again, Su Bai, like a cheerful little bird, pulled Lin Xiao around the exhibition halls. Every time they saw an exhibit, Su Bai could explain it in great detail.

After a while, Lin Xiao, who had been downcast, started to show some interest. “You’re better than the guide.”

Su Bai proudly puffed out his chest, pushing up his glasses with confidence. “I prepared for this date for three whole days, specifically memorizing all kinds of materials about the Xinhai Revolution. If you don’t understand anything, just ask me.”

Lin Xiao paused for a moment, and the anger inside him quickly faded by half.

“Su Bai, this little idiot, really annoys me, but that serious look of his is cute.”

The two spent the whole afternoon at the exhibition, checking out every section.

When they left the memorial hall, Su Bai, in a good mood, patted Lin Xiao’s shoulder and said, “I’ll treat you to a meal.”

Lin Xiao let out a sigh. “Let me treat you. I know there’s a…” He paused, “A particularly romantic western restaurant nearby…”

Before Lin Xiao could finish his sentence, Su Bai had already bounced off, running ahead.

After a while, Su Bai returned, holding a hot dog in his hand.

Lin Xiao’s heart sank:…

The Western restaurant plan was sadly ruined.

Su Bai shoved the hot dog in his left hand into Lin Xiao’s, saying, “This one’s yours, double ketchup.”

Lin Xiao’s heart warmed: …

He liked extra ketchup on his hot dogs, and this little thing actually remembered.

A mix of cold and warm emotions.

Lin Xiao didn’t even know whether to cry or laugh.

Su Bai quickly finished the hot dog, clapped his hands, and with a big smile, squinted his eyes as he seriously said, “We went to the memorial and had a meal. Today was perfect—I’d give it a hundred points!”

Lin Xiao looked at him with a complicated expression: …

A hundred points, my foot!

Su Bai slapped his head. “Oh, wait, I forgot to give you a gift.”

Lin Xiao immediately became alert. “Your gift today isn’t another book, is it?”

Su Bai shook his head wildly. “No way! I told our dorm leader about the practice book I got you, and he said I was crazy… Turns out you all don’t like gifts like that.”

Lin Xiao felt a pang in his heart. “No, it’s not that I don’t like them… I just… have too many books to keep up with.”

Su Bai smiled happily. “That’s good. But today, the gift I prepared for you is a folding fan I made myself.”

Lin Xiao’s heart warmed. “Let me see it!”

Gifting a self-made folding fan was quite a thoughtful gesture—rare, but meaningful. He probably could’ve gone for a love poem or something… Heh heh heh…

Su Bai excitedly pulled out the fan from his sling bag, swiftly opening it.

The four strong, simple, and powerful characters instantly appeared in front of Lin Xiao’s eyes—

-The World Is For The Common Good-

Lin Xiao froze, completely stunned: …

Su Bai licked his lips and started rambling: “These four characters were the favorite saying of Sun Yat-sen, the leader of the Xinhai Revolution. In 1924, he mentioned them in his book The Three Principles of the People as the true essence of the Three Principles…”

Lin Xiao raised his hand and pressed it against Su Bai’s chattering mouth, his voice barely audible: “Shut up, let me have some peace…”

Su Bai flicked the fan open, waving it at Lin Xiao: “What’s wrong? Are you feeling unwell? Maybe a little breeze will help?”

Lin Xiao angrily snatched the fan from Su Bai and growled, “Shut up!”

“Damn retard!”

Verstra[Translator]

Just me....

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