19

Lin Xiao heated the bun on the heater for a while, then opened a jar of pickled vegetables. He took a bite of the bun, followed by a bite of the pickled vegetables.

Ever since Su Bai brought over a whole box of pickled vegetables last time, Lin Xiao has paired them with everything he eats, worried he won’t finish them before they expire.

His roommate on the lower bunk woke up, yawning as he came over: “Aren’t you tired of eating this every day?”

Lin Xiao replied flatly: “…Tired.”

Roommate: “Give me a jar to try, I’ll help you finish it.”

Lin Xiao, who was usually generous with his roommate, quickly refused: “No.”

The roommate pointed dejectedly at the large box of pickled vegetables under Lin Xiao’s desk: “You still have so much left.”

Lin Xiao kicked the box further in, as if afraid someone would steal it: “Still not giving you any.”

These pickled vegetables were a specialty from Lin Xiao and Su Bai’s hometown. Lin Xiao had loved them since high school. After moving away for college and not being able to find them, he once complained to Su Bai. As a result, Su Bai had someone buy the authentic ones locally and sent them over.

Lin Xiao imagined Su Bai’s slender figure carrying such a heavy box of pickled vegetables from the school gate to the dorm, and his heart warmed. He dug out a big chunk of pickled vegetables and stuffed it into his mouth, chewing vigorously with a face full of determination, as if saying, “No one’s touching my pickled vegetables.”

Roommate, resigned, said, “You’re a pickled vegetable fanatic!”

Lin Xiao: “Hmph.”

Roommate, still persistent, replied, “Then give me one of the buns. You can’t eat all of this, and with this cold weather, I’m not going downstairs to buy food.”

Lin Xiao glanced at the six giant buns in the plastic bag, then thought of how Su Bai’s little nose had turned bright red from the cold just outside the door. With some difficulty, he said, “Not sharing.”

The roommate, unhappy, grumbled, “You’re a pig, eating so much!”

Lin Xiao took a big bite of the bun and snapped, “Shut up.”

Damn, I’m such a retard!

20

That afternoon, Lin Xiao was in his dorm playing League of Legends when Su Bai suddenly called.

Lin Xiao picked up the phone in a flash, immediately feeding his teammate: “Hello?”

Su Bai’s voice trembled slightly: “Where are you right now? Are you busy?”

Lin Xiao glanced at the game screen: “In the dorm, not busy. What’s up?”

Su Bai gave a sheepish laugh and said, “Well… could you pull back the curtains and look outside?”

Lin Xiao’s heart skipped a beat, thinking this little fool had set up candles downstairs again. So, feeling uneasy, he asked in advance, “What’s outside?”

Just then, Lin Xiao’s roommate let out a shout from the window: “Holy shit, someone’s confessing to Lin Xiao across the building!”

Lin Xiao felt both excited and nervous. He peeked out from behind a few of his roommates, sticking his head halfway out to look at the opposite building—

A massive banner with red background and yellow letters, looking tacky as hell, was hung across the opposite dorm building. The bold words read: Lin Xiao, I like you. Be my boyfriend!

Su Bai, standing on the balcony of the opposite dorm, raised his arm and shouted loudly: “Lin Xiao— I like you—be my boyfriend!”

Lin Xiao’s roommates immediately exploded: “Holy shit, isn’t that your little Su Bai?”

Lin Xiao nearly died of embarrassment on the spot: “…”

The fact that Lin Xiao liked Su Bai was no secret in the dorm. Although his roommates were all straight guys, they understood the situation. Now, enjoying the drama, they began to egg him on, grinning widely as they shouted, “Yes! Ding ding ding! Be his boyfriend!”

At that moment, Su Bai’s excited voice came through the phone: “Lin Xiao, are you surprised?”

Lin Xiao really couldn’t bring himself to crush this little fool’s excitement, so he weakly responded: “…It’s alright.”

Su Bai was so delighted that he almost started dancing: “Our dorm leader said, since asking about your well-being doesn’t work, I should go all out. Do you think this is ‘going all out’ enough?”

Lin Xiao gritted his teeth: “…It’s fine.”

Blast you, idiot!

Su Bai, excited, asked: “So since you’ve already agreed, does that mean we’re… in a relationship now?”

Lin Xiao was stunned: “When did I agree?!”

Su Bai said shyly, “Just now, when I asked you to be my boyfriend, a bunch of people across the way shouted ‘yes,’ and I saw you shout too.”

Lin Xiao’s mouth twitched: “I didn’t shout… and you weren’t even wearing glasses.”

Su Bai fell silent for a moment, clearly disappointed: “Oh.”

Lin Xiao took a deep breath: “Tomorrow, I’ll take you to get contact lenses. But first, take down that banner.”

Su Bai sniffled: “You don’t like it?”

Lin Xiao slammed his head on the desk, painfully forcing himself to say: ” Like. So hurry up and take it down before it collects dust outside.”

The roommates immediately burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Lin Xiao angrily hung up the phone.

Am I, the proud former campus heartthrob, really being taken down by a tacky red-and-yellow banner and a box of pickled vegetables?

Fuck, does retardation spread?