When Cheng Zhou tried to take his own life for the third time and was bumped into by the same person, he lost his resolve.

During his first attempt, he stood by the park lake, filled with sorrow and a deep sense of loss, feeling as if he alone carried the world’s pain. As he thought about whether to leave everything behind, a boy in sports clothes ran up to him with serious look, briefly glanced at him and then jogged away.

That one look made Cheng Zhou freeze. He thought, this person is really good-looking. He stared at the boy’s back, and then, feeling off balance, he slipped and fell into the lake.

But it didn’t matter. After all, he could swim, and he was actually quite good at it.

During his second attempt, he sat on the railing of the school rooftop, looking determined as if he were preparing for a fight. He felt a heavy sadness as he thought about how quickly beauty and happiness can fade away and how fate often tricks people. Just then, the same boy appeared again, this time in a school uniform. He still looked serious and expressionless. The boy glanced at him a few times and said, “The school forbids climbing on the railings.”

His voice sounded nice, Cheng Zhou thought absently.

Fortunately, even though he was zoning out again this time, he didn’t fall.

During his third attempt, he stood in a corner at some party, radiating a “stay away from me; I’m doing just fine” attitude. His mouth was full of food, making his cheeks puff out as he chewed with a fierce expression. Suddenly, someone bumped into him, causing him to choke. His cheeks turned deep purple, and he struggled to speak, looking as if he might pass out.

So, during his third near-suicide attempt, well if choking to death could count, he saw that familiar, expressionless face again.

In that moment, he felt a strange satisfaction, as if everything was as it should be.

Perhaps that person realized he always bumped into Cheng Zhou and had seen him struggling time and time again. So this time, instead of walking away silently, he stepped closer, patted Cheng Zhou on the shoulder, and said, “Take it easy.”

In that instant, the world became vibrant and full of color.

Maybe it was the soft lighting at that moment.

Cheng Zhou thought to himself, this must be what love feels like. I’m seriously falling for him.

At that moment, he believed he would cherish this one person for a lifetime.

Cherishing him meant getting tangled up for most of his life, wasting the best time and passion.

I was such an idiot back then.

After the party, Cheng Zhou didn’t want to die anymore.

As the saying goes, ‘Better to live poorly than to die well.’ After all, he was just seventeen or eighteen, a time to enjoy a bright and sunny life.

Moreover, the people who deserved to die were living just fine. If he died, it would be a loss.

So, Cheng Zhou decided to pursue that expressionless face.

He firmly believed that beneath the cold, hard exterior of that expressionless face was a warm and passionate heart. Maybe the boy actually liked him. After all, he was a handsome and charming young man himself. Cheng Zhou decided to unleash his relentless charm, vowing not to give up until he won the boy over.

With all his skills at his disposal, he didn’t even believe there was anything he couldn’t achieve.

As for whether the boy liked men? Ha, he didn’t even need to think about it.

At that time, Cheng Zhou was just that confident.

And foolish.

He didn’t yet realize how long it would take him to accept the painful truth that true feelings are often worthless.

When I was young, I didn’t understand how tough life could be. Later on, I often thought, if I had just ended everything back then, or if I had never met Nie Shanglin, would that mean I wouldn’t have to endure so many years of suffering?

Would that mean I had an escape route?

I regard him as a god.

The god gave me a flicker of light in the endless darkness and despair, faint yet warm, and I felt it was my entire world.

I chased after it, yearning, running through the deep shadows.

But the god was just bored for a moment.

At twenty-seven, Cheng Zhou lay on the balcony of their ‘home,’ overlooking the bustling night and the crowds below, and muttered to himself, ‘What exactly do you think you are?‘