Chapter 5: Jiang Chuan, We’re Breaking Up

Due to the anesthetic, Xiao Qingru was sleeping soundly. Jiang Chuan sat in a chair, reaching out to touch her face but then hesitated, afraid her pale complexion might shatter with the slightest touch, so he pulled his hand back.

He murmured, “Qingru, I didn’t mean to do it. Can you forgive me?”

But there was no answer only the silence of his remorseful thoughts, wondering if Qingru would hold it against him and if the incident might harm her health. The more he thought, the more torment he felt.

Time passed until a nurse came in to change the IV, and gradually, the patient on the bed began to wake up.

“Qingru, you’re awake?”

Seeing Jiang Chuan, Xiao Qingru’s mind flashed back to the image of him leaving with Du Wanqiu in his arms. The usual happiness at seeing him was gone. “Why are you here?”

Her polite but distant tone made Jiang Chuan feel a chill. They knew each other too well as childhood friends, and he recognized that she only spoke this way with strangers.

Jiang Chuan anxiously held her hand. “Qingru, I didn’t mean to leave you. After I made sure Du was okay, I came back to find you, but I was a step too late.”

A trace of sarcasm crossed Qingru’s lips as she pulled her hand away forcefully. “I’m fine now, you can leave.”

“No, I’m not leaving.” Jiang Chuan was determined to stay until she was calm again. “Qingru, are you thirsty? Are you hungry?”

No matter what he asked, Qingru ignored him. That chilling sense of abandonment was something she couldn’t bear to feel again. She thought, Some people are simply not meant to be part of my life.

Enough was enough.

He kept talking, trying to reassure her: “Once I get some leave, your health should be better. Let’s go to the city to watch a movie, or if you don’t want that, we can shop at the supply store. I’ve saved some cloth coupons and can get you a new dress. You also said you wanted a picture together let’s get that taken. We can even go to the state owned restaurant for some braised pork you love.”

But with every word, Xiao Qingru’s gaze only grew colder and more disdainful. This unnerved Jiang Chuan, as he had never seen such a look in her eyes. He gripped her hand tighter, practically pleading, “Qingru, don’t look at me like that.”

She yanked her hand away. “You should have considered this outcome when you chose someone else time after time. Jiang Chuan, we’re done.”

The weight lifted as she finally said it. She should have done this long ago when Jiang Chuan decided to play hero to Du Wanqiu, she should have walked away.

“Jiang Chuan, we’re breaking up.”

Hearing the words, Jiang Chuan felt like he’d been hit hard, leaving his mind blank. We grew up together. How could she break up with me? He must have misheard her.

Desperately, he said, “There’s nothing between me and Du Wanqiu. I was only helping her out of friendship. Has someone been spreading rumors again? Don’t believe them.”

Qingru had heard this countless times, and it no longer moved her. “What I care about is your actions. It doesn’t matter if there’s nothing between you. The fact is you repeatedly help her unconditionally!”

Jiang Chuan had no defense. He’d assumed Qingru didn’t care about such things.

“I won’t help her anymore, I’ll keep my distance, okay? I’ll do whatever you ask just don’t say we’re breaking up.”

Qingru looked away, reminding herself not to soften her heart. Giving in time and again only made others bolder in testing her boundaries.

“Father said after Du Wanqiu gives birth, the organization will arrange for her to return home. After that, she won’t be in our lives anymore. Qingru, don’t end our relationship over an outsider.”

“I”

Just then, a knock at the door interrupted them.

It was Aunt Wang. “Comrade Jiang, Wanqiu suffered major blood loss after giving birth, and I can’t make heads or tails of what the doctors are saying. Please, come and help.”

Jiang Chuan instinctively jumped up, letting go of Qingru’s hand, taking a few steps before returning, worriedly asking, “Qingru, can I go check on her?”

Qingru felt numb. The way he moved without thinking revealed the truth: if Du Wanqiu needed him, he would rush to her side time after time. She clenched her hand under the covers, willing herself to stay strong. Don’t fall for it again, she thought.

“Qingru?” Jiang Chuan’s anxious gaze was fixed on her, but when she said nothing, he reluctantly left, promising, “I’ll be back after I settle things.”

Watching him rush off, clearly worried, she wondered if Du Wanqiu was really “just a friend’s widow” in his heart. After experiencing this so many times, she wasn’t even surprised anymore.

Reaching to her dry eyes, she was surprised to find she wasn’t crying. Oddly enough, she didn’t feel that heart wrenching pain either.