In the early winter of the south, Qianye moved slowly along the ancient buildings behind the teaching building, with moss creeping through the cracks in the walls. A few retired university professors still lived here. She saw an elderly woman, her hair white and frail, slowly coming out, plucking a red camellia. The woman approached Qianye, muttering softly, ” those years, we were sentenced to labor reform. At the time, people around us advised us to separate, thinking it would be better, so we missed the chance. Now, I’ve lived alone for half a century. Back then, why didn’t I think about how wonderful it would have been if we had stayed together…”

The wind echoed lonely between the ancient walls and the elderly woman. Her long years of solitude, along with that quiet sentence—how wonderful it would have been if we had stayed together—kept resounding in Qianye’s mind, over and over again.

Qianye touched the Eiffel Tower pendant on her chest, and the metal pressed painfully into her palm. It had been three years since their breakup, more than a thousand days. These years, she had found love difficult, and it took her so long to get used to a life without him. Then suddenly, he reappeared, attacking her life relentlessly, stirring it all up again.

Qianye retraced the paths she had once walked with Han Chao at university, seeing the old man who used to sell cotton candy still happily offering brightly colored sweets in front of Yunji Rice Noodles. Her nose suddenly tingled with emotion.

Back in college, she and Han Chao had passed by this spot, and when they saw the cotton candy, she had eagerly shouted that she wanted to buy one. The old man, looking at the young lovers, had complimented Han Chao for choosing a good girl. Just for that compliment, Qianye had happily bought three different-colored cotton candies. Holding them in her hands, like three clouds, they slowly walked to the nearby old street to rest. The street, once an ancient building from the Republican era, had fallen into disrepair over the years, and the former splendor was hard to see. Yet, it carried a sense of time’s faded grandeur.

They sat on a stone bench, and suddenly, Qianye felt a lightness in her hand. She looked over to find that Han Chao had casually taken the half-eaten cotton candy from her hand and was licking it without a care. Qianye stared at him in shock, and his eyes, like flowing water in the night, seemed to pull her in. When he took her bewildered hand in his, she forgot all words.

For the first time in years, something that had once seemed like a dream was now painfully unforgettable.

Such beautiful memories, they were worth the soul breaking into pieces for.

In this world, nothing compares to the secret love a child holds in their heart, so distant and hopeless, humble and flattering, submissive and self-effacing. Only a lonely child can gather all their passion into one.

Qianye’s grandfather passed away when she was in the second year of junior high. Her last memory of him was of his old, thick hands handing her over to a stranger. After that, she became the adopted daughter of Zhao Qidong and Zhou Wen. The couple had always wanted a daughter, and coincidentally, her grandfather and Zhou Wen’s father had been war comrades. During the war, her grandfather had risked his life to save Zhou Wen’s father, but in the process, he had been left with a crippled leg. To repay that debt, Zhou Wen and her husband had happily adopted Qianye. At the same time, Qianye got a brother, Zhao Nanzhuo, who was about the same age as her.

In fact, after Qianye turned eight, she never saw her biological parents again. Her grandfather raised her single-handedly, and she didn’t understand—if they didn’t have the courage to live with her, why did they bring her into the world? Were there not enough lonely lives in this world already? Fortunately, her grandfather treated her very well, even though their life was poor.

In junior high school, Qianye was admitted to a private school in the city on a scholarship because of her excellent grades. She had to leave her grandfather and live in the school dormitory. The students at the private school either had excellent academic records like Qianye or came from wealthy families.

It was around the time she started junior high that Qianye’s usually calm heart began to stir for the first time, becoming turbulent. The more introverted and sensitive she became, the more silent she became. She studied harder than anyone else. Because of her good grades, even though she was not sociable, no one really opposed her.

Her desk mate, Zhou Lizi, buried herself in piles of questions every day, and whenever Qianye lifted her head, she would find that Zhou Lizi had changed into a new, fashionable knitted sweater. Zhou Lizi’s wardrobe was so vast that it was hard to see any repetition, something Chiba could hardly imagine.

There were many girls in the class like Zhou Lizi—daughters of wealthy families, mature beyond their years, with good looks, and always dressed up before class. They were indifferent to their studies and spent their time hanging out with tall and handsome boys, loudly discussing them during breaks.

“Someone saw you and Lin Hao going to the movies last night, Lizi. You two are moving really fast!”