Chapter 160.2

Her father sat at the high seat, like a towering statue of a deity. “From now on, you cannot call me ‘father,’ you must call me master,’ understood?”

She hesitated and said, “Understand.”

Her father became busier, his face growing more dignified, more inner disciples appeared, and she grew weaker and weaker.

She forged the sword base in the rain, the sword tip being corrected, a string of water droplets falling into the puddle. Her father couldn’t hide his disappointment. “With your talent, it took three months to forge the sword base, and it still isn’t complete! You really don’t look like my daughter.”

Zhou Bei felt a surge of dread.

She believed that if it weren’t for inheriting her father’s spiritual root, which still had some use, he definitely wouldn’t have brought her, this burden, to the Immortal Sect. Zhou Yan hated others mentioning his humble origins, and she was a living reminder of those past days.
The more anxious she was, the worse she practiced. After a while, Senior Brother Xu Binglai came to find her and reached out to teach her, drenched like a drowned chicken. “How come you can’t even do this? If you can’t practice properly, we won’t be able to eat; we’ll starve to death. Let me teach you.” This young man had rain on his eyelashes, and when people thanked him, he always showed an impatient expression.

“Senior Brother, where did you live before joining the sect?”

“On the snow plains,” Xu Binglai said, rinsing his hands in the creek. Upon hearing the question, he raised an eyebrow. “I don’t remember earlier than that. I just wandered around with my sword, going wherever people challenged me.”

Zhou Bei pursed her lips and smiled shyly. Xu Binglai had enviable freedom and defiance. Every time she saw him, her worries seemed to disappear.

Even when he half-heartedly slapped her hand during a high-five, it made her hands curl up in her sleeves, trembling for a long while.

She cautiously protected this fleeting illusion until she saw Xu Binglai step over the eaves, sending a gift beyond the Dream Crossing. A painting boat from Beishang Palace was docked on the sea, and the eunuchs on board conveyed Princess Mingxia’s imperial order in return. That was when the dream shattered.

It was a princess. She had once been an ordinary woman, and she understood what a princess represented—noble and graceful. Although she was a cultivator, her talent was mediocre, and even the newly-joined disciples outshone her. She had once thought that Xu Binglai disliked noise, and she was very quiet, so he should not dislike her.

But now she understood that the good ones always had better people to pair with.

The rain that had fallen on her hair stopped. Someone held an umbrella for her. Zhou Bei turned around to see Yi Xuan, a younger disciple from the outer sect. At this time, he wasn’t an elder yet, just a thin young man in Daoist robes. Perhaps her expression was too bleak, and he suddenly reached out to push her wet hair aside. The air under the umbrella felt suffocating, and she immediately stepped back, standing in the rain.

Yi Xuan’s expression was strange, unsure where to put his hands and feet. Finally, they hung limply at his sides like dead vines. “Junior Sister, I thought our backgrounds are similar, sharing the same fate. I’m sorry… I overstepped.”

Perhaps it was the words “similar backgrounds” that hurt her, and the anger and inferiority from being looked down upon and insulted collapsed like a snow mountain. She turned into sword light and hid in the sword tomb, staring at her sword and the numerous, not-so-delicate scars on her hands.

The strength she had used to practice the sword instantly dissipated, and Zhou Bei began to sob in the sword tomb.

As the daughter of the sect leader, it seemed she had gained no benefits. In fact, it would have been better to stay in the village; perhaps she would have had a better life by now.

It was after that day that she did something wrong.

When her father asked her to marry Xu Binglai, she did not voice any objection. Even though she knew Xu Binglai had someone he cared for, she took advantage of the situation, pretending not to know, becoming her father’s pawn to control the senior disciple.

How could I resist? She told herself. She had always been obedient and docile. Only by remaining silent and knowing her place would she not be rejected. This was no different—she had been forced into it.

She prepared a meal for Xu Binglai, then tied a fragrance ball around her waist. After returning, she washed herself three times to rid herself of the scent. From then on, she never used that kind of intoxicating fragrance again. Every time she smelled it, she felt disgusted, thinking of how part of what she had gained was stolen.

She had, as she wished, married Xu Binglai as her Dao companion—on one hand, she was overjoyed; on the other, she was in great pain. Her father’s exploitation of her became more extreme: The letters the sect leader received had to be opened by her first before being passed to the Elder Taishang; the secret orders she secretly altered numbered in the hundreds.

Whenever it involved the sect’s interests, her father would instruct her, “This matter, you go whisper in Xu Binglai’s ear.”

She was least skilled at doing such things, and every time she couldn’t eat, tossing and turning.

Xu Binglai would frown, and whenever he heard, he would remain silent. His silence made her tremble, and she always felt like he should have figured it out. But Xu Binglai never said anything to her. Instead, he pushed the boy under him and said, “Go get an ice bowl for the lady to open her appetite.”

She sighed with relief, getting a little more time on probation.

The better Xu Binglai treated her, the more she secretly hated her father’s tasks, longing for the day when she could escape. Little did she know, everything was just an illusion, never truly belonging to her.

She stood on the mountain ridge, her wide sleeves fluttering, looking down at Xu Binglai and Shen Suwei talking. The young man in a snow-white robe was handsome, and his face bore the shadow of a princess. That must have been an exceptionally beautiful and tragic woman. Xu Binglai was especially attentive to this disciple, handling everything personally, from medicinal pills and sword techniques to daily needs. When he went on a mission, even Xu Baopu never personally escorted him to the sect.

Zhou Bei understood; this was guilt.

The guilt and regret for her youthful love were like a crack, spanning between her and Xu Binglai. It all began when Xu Binglai received the butterfly letter on a rainy night. She knew, no matter how hard she tried, no matter how much Xu Binglai pretended nothing was wrong, their good days together had ended forever.

The rain fell incessantly in the mountains, and a white mist began to rise over Penglai.

This ending was more despairing than if they had broken apart because of the Elder Taishang.

In the years that followed, the distance between them grew steadily.

At first, she still had hope in her heart: after all, they had been married for a century, and she didn’t believe there was no affection between them. She waited for time to erase everything, but the rift between Xu Binglai and her father was irreconcilable, and eventually, it came to a breaking point. After that, he encrypted all the letters and secret orders, cultivated his own loyal followers, and guarded against her at every turn. There was no longer any heart-to-heart communication between them.

She kept silent about Shen Suwei’s matter, but in return, she earned his distrust and caution. She couldn’t help but smile at the irony. After all, she had done many wrong things and couldn’t be considered a kind person. How could anyone still trust her?

The hope she couldn’t rekindle gradually turned into resentment.

She began to meditate and practice in seclusion frequently, only coming out to stay by her sickly youngest daughter’s side. Xu Binglai made no attempt to keep her. She broke through to the Yuan Ying stage, no longer the timid young girl she once was. Once her emotions had been worn down, she became her father’s sword. From feeling guilty for every mistake to learning of her father’s connection with demonic forces, she no longer showed any emotion.

She knew much about the affairs of gods and demons, the secrets of cultivation, but she wasn’t interested.

Her father always thought of her as a silent, reserved person, but what he didn’t know was that she felt those matters had nothing to do with her.

What she liked most was still practicing swordsmanship early in the morning and late at night, as she had when she first started. Back then, she had hoped to surpass others but found that talent was beyond her control. Although she wasn’t particularly good, it had become the most familiar part of her life.

When she left seclusion, she accidentally overheard her father conspiring with others behind a screen. They planned to use the demonic forces to eliminate some cultivators. Upon hearing that Xu Binglai was among them, she panicked and triggered a restriction.

The Elder Taishang was not afraid of her overhearing. Xu Binglai’s role was to leave behind a few gifted bloodlines. Therefore, if he were found to be disobedient, he could be eliminated.

“Think about it; blood ties and feelings hinder the path. If you’re truly focused on the Dao, sooner or later you will have to sever ties with your kin,” the Elder Taishang said. “Besides, you have children. They are closer to you than anyone. They’re grown now, so what’s left to be unwilling about? The days ahead will only be better.”

“I don’t want any of that,” Zhou Bei murmured. “Father, can I go back?”

“Back to where?”

Zhou Bei said, “To the small village where we lived when I was young.”

She had lived her entire life relying on and trying to please others. Now, at the age of one hundred, it was time to find the life she wanted to live.

The Elder Taishang frowned. In his mind, that was a thing of the past, a dead history. How could anyone still hold onto such trivial matters? “Do as you wish.”

What Zhou Bei received was an invitation. What she had to do was simple: stay in place and protect Qianqian, pretending not to know anything, then later play the part of a widow.

They hadn’t had a meal together in a long time. Xu Qianqian’s pale face flushed with joy. At the family banquet, they seemed like a harmonious three-person family. She couldn’t eat, but Xu Binglai, with no guard up, ordered an ice bowl and placed a piece of her favorite shad fish into her bowl.

Zhou Bei caught a glimpse of the demon emerging, quietly listening to everything unfold. Someone was cutting through the restrictions, and Xu Binglai saved Fu Shuangshuang with a sword. The sect leader of Tianshan Mountain would rather die with his daughter than let the demon escape. Xu Qianqian sobbed in his arms. Suddenly, Zhou Bei changed her mind.

This thought shifted so slightly, like a string being plucked.

…
Xu Qianyu grew more alarmed. Zhou Bei had intentionally taken that sword.
“But how did you predict the demon would retreat instead of going berserk and harming Qianqian?”

“She fears my father’s blood. I think my blood might work too,” Zhou Bei said with a wry smile.

“No matter how much you look down on me, I’m still his bloodline.”

At this moment, she realized that she actually hated her father. He had always been manipulating her, and she had let him, to the point where she had grown to loathe herself. But her hatred was always quiet, never daring to be loud.

If they knew she had the ability to change everything, would they be shocked?

But in the end, she didn’t have the courage to face her father’s wrath.

Zhou Bei said, “Take my blood carefully; it can harm her.”

Xu Qianyu felt something being shoved into his mustard seed golden bead and hurriedly asked, “Why does the demon fear the Elder Taishang’s blood?”

But that last trace of regret vanished, and Zhou Bei’s hand fell. Xu Qianyu raised his hand, and the body’s eyes closed. The face was serene and calm, as if holding a hidden smile.

She had already left Xu Binglai with a beautiful and dramatic exit.

The reasons and consequences of this matter were hidden, driven by private desires. She didn’t want anyone to know.

Xu Qianyu arranged Zhou Bei’s body, thinking to himself that he had forgotten to tell her that her swordsmanship was excellent. Among the many swords he had seen, it ranked quite high.