Chapter 57: Death is like an extinguishing lamp

The weather was beautiful the day Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang were buried.

Chen Qianqing and Lu Zhengfei arrived at the cemetery early in the morning. After picking up the urns at the storage office, they carried them to the pre-arranged burial site.

On the stone monument, Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang’s names and photographs were engraved.

A cemetery worker came over, placed salt, tea, rice, and beans in the tombstone, then added some soil to cover it thinly.

The worker said to Chen Qianqing and Lu Zhengfei, “Please place the urns inside.”

Chen Qianqing and Lu Zhengfei each carried an urn—Chen Qianqing with Liu Huamei’s urn, and Lu Zhengfei with Chen Qingyang’s. Originally, Chen Qingyun had asked if she should come to help, but Chen Qianqing refused.

So, at that moment, there were only two people standing in front of the tombstone of Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang.

Chen Qianqing bent down and placed the urn inside. His expression seemed a bit dazed as he watched Lu Zhengfei place Chen Qingyang’s urn next to Liu Huamei’s.

The worker said, “Each family member should take three handfuls of soil and place them over the urns. This is a blessing for the descendants.”

Chen Qianqing took three handfuls of soil and placed them on the urns of Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang.

Lu Zhengfei stood still, and the worker looked at him curiously. “Aren’t you family?”

Lu Zhengfei smiled bitterly. “I wish I were.”

Chen Qianqing lowered his head and said nothing. After the workers sealed the Tombstone with cement, he took out a white towel from his bag and carefully wiped the dust off the tombstone.

Lu Zhengfei crouched down in front of the Tombstone, placing some offerings and a bouquet of white chrysanthemums.

After finishing this, Chen Qianqing and Lu Zhengfei went to the place where paper money was burned and set fire to the clothes they had brought for Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang.

Since Liu Huamei was a Christian, burning paper money and incense were not allowed. Watching their clothes burn to ashes, Chen Qianqing seemed lost in thought.

Lu Zhengfei quietly held Chen Qianqing’s hand.

Chen Qianqing said, “Let’s go.”

Lu Zhengfei responded softly, holding Chen Qianqing’s hand as they slowly walked forward.

Chen Qianqing sat in the passenger seat, feeling like he was about to collapse. He breathed lightly, then closed his eyes, pretending to rest.

Lu Zhengfei started the car and drove Chen Qianqing away from the cemetery.

It seemed like everything had passed. However, Lu Zhengfei was increasingly worried about the person beside him. The reason was simple—Chen Qianqing had become unusually silent. Other than his breakdown on the first day, he hadn’t shed a single tear, and his emotionless expression made it impossible for anyone to know what he was thinking.

Given his concerning mental state, Lu Zhengfei didn’t know how to comfort Chen Qianqing.

Crying is one way to release sorrow, but what if you’re so sad that even crying becomes impossible?

Lu Zhengfei had never experienced this feeling, so he couldn’t guess what Chen Qianqing was thinking from his reaction.

After the funeral was over, it was time to start dealing with other matters.

As for the compensation from the driver’s family, Chen Qianqing wasn’t worried at all. He knew that after Lu Zhengfei got involved, it would be handled easily.

Sure enough, the day after Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang were buried, Lu Zhengfei handed the compensation money to Chen Qianqing.

800,000 yuan, two lives, and it was even less than the pocket money Lu Zhengfei usually gave him. Chen Qianqing felt nothing but irony as he held the money.

The 800,000 yuan didn’t mean much to Chen Qianqing, but for an ordinary family, it was a significant amount.

As Chen Qianqing packed his things and prepared to go to City A for school, Chen Qingyu found him.

Chen Qingyu, holding some fruit, came to Chen Qianqing’s house alone.

Chen Qianqing looked at her coldly, his expression full of sarcasm.

Chen Qingyu was a little uneasy under Chen Qianqing’s gaze, but after glancing at Lu Zhengfei, she seemed to gain some courage and said, “Qianqing, before your father passed away, he told me that he wanted to sell that house… to our family.”

As she spoke, she took out a contract with Chen Qingyang’s signature on it.

Chen Qianqing glanced at the contract and then looked up, “You want that house?”

Chen Qingyu said, “It’s not that I want to take advantage of you, Qianqing, but as a woman raising Xiaohui, I really don’t know what to do… Your dad is gone now, so why not fulfill his wishes?”

Chen Qianqing looked at Chen Qingyu, suddenly feeling that maybe it was a good thing that in his past life, the original Chen Qianqing was kept away from seeing this side of her. Because even until his death, the original Chen Qianqing still thought he had a loving family.

Chen Qianqing said, “What if I don’t agree?”

Chen Qingyu sighed, glancing at Lu Zhengfei, who was sitting next to Chen Qianqing and saying nothing. “Your parents didn’t know about you and Xiaolu, did they?”

Chen Qianqing asked, “You know?”

Chen Qingyu replied, “I don’t want to comment on men loving men, but if others find out, what will they think of you? What will they think of your father and mother?”

Chen Qianqing’s next move was to slowly tear the contract Chen Qingyu had shown him. As he tore it, he said, “Chen Qingyu, you can try, but I guarantee you’ll regret it.”

Chen Qingyu turned pale with anger at Chen Qianqing’s action. She said, “Tear it then, that was just an attachment!”

Chen Qianqing didn’t want to waste any more energy on this. He said, “Lu Zhengfei, you handle it.”

Lu Zhengfei looked at Chen Qingyu with an expression as if he were looking at a dead person.

Chen Qingyu, holding her bag, cursed as she walked away. She wasn’t stupid; she could tell Lu Zhengfei was not someone to mess with.

Chen Qianqing said, “Let’s go back to school.”

Lu Zhengfei reached out and hugged Chen Qianqing.

Because of this matter, Chen Qianqing was late returning to school by over ten days. However, after the class advisor understood the reason for his absence, they generously gave him time off and told him they would inform the academic office.

When Chen Qianqing arrived at school, he placed his luggage at Lu Zhengfei’s house before going to his rented apartment.

Zhu Mao had already been at school for several days. During this time, he had called Chen Qianqing and naturally knew what had happened at his home.

When Chen Qianqing walked in, he saw Zhu Mao changing the bedding of his little hamster, Tuo Tuo. Upon looking up, Zhu Mao saw the emotionless Chen Qianqing and said, “Qianqing, you’re back.”

Chen Qianqing nodded and reached out to touch the increasingly fat Tuo Tuo.

Zhu Mao opened his mouth, wanting to say something to comfort Chen Qianqing, but the words didn’t come out. After a long time, he finally said, “Qianqing, don’t be too sad.”

Chen Qianqing nodded.

Compared to before the break, Chen Qianqing had lost even more weight. His face was unnaturally pale, and with his slightly longer hair and delicate features, he looked like a doll with no life.

Zhu Mao felt a pang of discomfort seeing Chen Qianqing like this and gave him a tight hug.

Chen Qianqing slowly said, “I might not go back to school.”

Zhu Mao froze. “Why aren’t you going to school?”

Chen Qianqing replied, “Because I’m sick.”

Zhu Mao exclaimed, “Qianqing, what illness do you have?”

Chen Qianqing answered, “A disease that can’t be cured.” He felt like he was going mad.

Countless memories and voices haunted him, making him unable to eat or sleep in peace. The calmness he displayed was almost entirely a facade, and he didn’t even know when he would completely collapse.

When Zhu Mao heard Chen Qianqing say this, his first reaction was that it was cancer. He said, “Qianqing, don’t give up! My grandfather had cancer, but he lived for many years after.”

Chen Qianqing burst out laughing. He said, “You fool, I was lying to you.”

Zhu Mao looked at him suspiciously, seemingly not quite believing him.

Chen Qianqing said, “I came back to check on you… I’ll leave soon. I’ve already paid the rent, so you can stay here. Maybe I’ll come back sometime.”

Zhu Mao said, “Don’t go! If you leave, I’ll have to move back to the dorm! Little Hua isn’t here anymore… Qianqing, will you really come back?”

Chen Qianqing replied, “Who knows?” He didn’t know if he would ever return to a normal life.

Lu Zhengfei had been waiting outside for Chen Qianqing. He asked, “Qianqing, you really don’t want to go back to school?”

It used to be that he kept Chen Qianqing from going to school, but now it was him begging Chen Qianqing to go.

Chen Qianqing said, “I’m not going.” There was nothing to go for. He was never truly Chen Qianqing, and he could never become Chen Qianqing. He had always been a poor imitation.

Lu Zhengfei said, “I’ve already had someone start the process to take a leave of absence for you… you decide when you want to…” He didn’t finish, but both of them understood what was meant.

Chen Qianqing said, “As soon as possible.” According to his plan, he should have agreed to Han Huaiyun’s suggestion, but after Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang died, he decided to let things be.

Whether it was Lu Zhengfei, the deaths of Liu Huamei and Chen Qingyang, or his fate following its set course in the future, he would face it all.

Because all of this was what he deserved.

Rebirth, perhaps, didn’t mean change. It simply meant that he would have to swallow these sufferings all over again, just as they were.

After returning to Lu Zhengfei’s place, Xiao Hua, who had disappeared somewhere, suddenly appeared. Chen Qianqing looked at the little cat meowing at his feet with a cold, detached look in his eyes.

It was as though this cute little life could no longer capture his interest. No matter how cute it was, it had nothing to do with him.

It was a feeling of being completely disconnected from the world.

Lu Zhengfei said, “Xiao Hua has really grown fast.”

Chen Qianqing calmly glanced at him. The look in his eyes made Lu Zhengfei shiver. It was only then that he realized how serious Chen Qianqing’s condition had become.

Because the eyes that should have been full of life were now filled with an undeniable dead silence. Even though he was looking at you, it felt as if his gaze had already wandered off, lost in some unknown direction.

Lu Zhengfei knew they couldn’t wait any longer. He said, “Qianqing, we need to see a doctor right away.”

Chen Qianqing turned his head, said nothing, and slowly closed his eyes.