Social Anxiety in Ancient Times
Social Anxiety in Ancient Times 21

Chapter 21

According to Lin Que, he had refused to eat dinner after getting angry, and calling the kitchen to prepare food in the middle of the night would be a bit embarrassing. If Yan’an found out, he might dare to anger him again next time. So he wanted Li Mu to accompany him to the kitchen to find something to eat.

Li Mu had climbed through windows before, but it was her first time climbing through a window in King Yan’s mansion. They got out of bed, quietly changed their clothes, and didn’t disturb the maids on night duty outside.

Moving the flower vase and incense burner by the window, Lin Que opened the window and went out first, turning to extend his hand to her. Li Mu placed her hand in Lin Que’s palm but then pulled it back, running to the dressing table to carefully search for something. She finally found the map of King Yan’s mansion given to her by Nanny Zhao—The mansion was too big, and she doubted Lin Que’s ability to navigate it at night, so she decided to bring the map just in case.

When Li Mu climbed out of the window, Lin Que noticed what she had gone back to get and asked with a smile, “Are you afraid I’ll get lost in my own house?”

Li Mu: “You never know.”

If they got lost, it would be even more embarrassing than getting angry and not eating dinner, only to calm down and ask the kitchen for food in the middle of the night.

Although the mansion had lanterns hanging everywhere, it was still night, and the moon was just a thin crescent. Lin Que, afraid they might get separated, held Li Mu’s hand as they walked.

They passed through corridors and steps, through a side gate and a moon gate…

Li Mu initially tried to remember the way, but when they crossed a small river with lanterns hanging on the bridge, the night wind created fish-scale-like ripples on the water, making it look entirely different from the daytime. Li Mu looked at it for a while, then forgot the path she had memorized earlier and decided to give up, enjoying the “interesting night in the mansion” that Lin Que had mentioned.

It was so quiet and so free. She could dance to “Extreme Joy Pure Land” without fear of being seen.

It wasn’t until they almost bumped into patrolling guards that Li Mu realized dancing to “Extreme Joy Pure Land” wasn’t a good idea.

T/N: “Extreme Joy Pure Land” (极乐净土) is a popular Japanese dance song by GARNiDELiA. The song has a catchy beat and is often accompanied by a dance routine that has become quite famous on social media platforms.

Of course, in such a large place, how could there be no guards at night?

Lin Que pulled her to hide behind a stone window, waiting for the guards to pass before coming out, regretting, “I thought I could get you past all of them.”

Li Mu: “…”

So, she felt at ease earlier because Lin Que knew the patrol times and routes of the mansion guards and led her to avoid them?

Lin Que held Li Mu’s hand and continued walking: “I like to lie indoors when I have a headache during the day, but at night, I prefer to be outside. I wander around the mansion alone, and by the time the headache is gone, it’s already dawn.”

Li Mu: “What if it rains?”

Lin Que chuckled: “Then it’s bad.”

He hated the rain for a very ordinary reason. The day he rushed back to the capital, it was raining. Later, he brought Gu Chi back to the Princess’s mansion in the rain, and when he collapsed from the poison, he was still worried about his brother and mother. The rain, which he usually didn’t mind, became particularly annoying at that moment, and that dislike persisted to this day.

They arrived at the kitchen, and Lin Que asked Li Mu to wait outside. He went in and came out with two packages wrapped in oil paper and a bottle of something.

Li Mu asked, “Won’t they notice if something is missing from the kitchen?”

If they did, who would be blamed?

Lin Que smiled: “Of course they will. I’ll tell Steward Wu tomorrow and have him take responsibility for us.”

This way, only a few people would know they sneaked in for food at midnight, and no unrelated person would bear the blame for the missing items.

Li Mu wanted to correct him: it’s not “us,” it’s “you.”

Fortunately, she didn’t because one package contained crispy potatoes, and the other had meat-filled pastries, both sprinkled with sesame and pepper. Even cold, they smelled delicious. They sat by the small river Li Mu had looked at earlier and shared the crispy potatoes. Li Mu couldn’t finish the pastries, so she just tore off a bit to taste.

The sound of the river flowing was soothing. After finishing the last piece of crispy potato, Li Mu washed her hands in the river, thinking it would be better with chili. She had noticed earlier that there was no chili here, and the spiciness relied on pepper, Sichuan pepper, and ginger. Just then, she heard Lin Que behind her ask, “Do you know if there are any other good things from foreign lands besides potatoes?”

Li Mu turned around: “?”

Lin Que: “Most of these things were brought in when Emperor Yongwu relaxed the maritime ban. The founding emperor set the ban, and even I can’t abolish it easily, but it might be possible to make some changes.”

Hearing this, Li Mu slowly sat up straight.

“The cabinet has been arguing fiercely these days, but it’s almost settled,” Lin Que told Li Mu. “Preparing the ships and navy will take time, but if everything goes well, we can set sail by the year after next at the latest.”

The year after next…

Li Mu was lost in thought. When she returned to her senses, she found Lin Que sitting beside her, looking at her curiously, and asked, “Can you think of anything useful? Draw a diagram, and we can have someone look for it.”

“I was thinking…” Li Mu said, “Will you still be here the year after next?”

Lin Que immediately understood her meaning. He looked away for a moment, staring at the opposite bank of the river for a long time before his gaze returned to her eyes: “I should be.”

Li Mu nodded as if she believed Lin Que’s words or accepted his promise to be there the year after next.

They sat by the river for a while longer. When they got up to leave, they walked in different directions while holding hands.

Li Mu: “?” You said we wouldn’t get lost, but that’s clearly the direction of the kitchen.

Lin Que raised the bottle in his hand: “Let’s go to the kitchen and return this.”

Lin Que had taken two packages of food and a bottle from the kitchen. The bottle hadn’t been opened, and Li Mu didn’t know what was inside, so she was puzzled as to why he took it out only to return it.

Lin Que explained, “This bottle is cooking wine from the kitchen.”

Li Mu stopped in her tracks, looking at him in shock—Do you want to drink that badly?!!

Lin Que tugged her hand: “Hurry, let’s return the wine. I don’t want to get caught by Steward Wu and have him report to my mother.”

Oh, right, they hadn’t even drunk it yet.

Li Mu followed Lin Que, realizing belatedly that Lin Que had intended to drink but decided not to because of the promise to be there “the year after next.”

They returned the wine to the kitchen and planned to wash up and rest, but the main courtyard was brightly lit, and everyone was looking for them.

Li Mu closed her eyes: …I’m exhausted, let it all end.

Lin Que remained calm and, instead of climbing through windows, led Li Mu through the main entrance. They encountered their maid, who quickly went to call Nanny Liu.

Nanny Liu came running, out of breath, but still reported, “Your Highness, Consort, the Grand Princess is here. She’s waiting inside.”

Lin Que was surprised: “Wasn’t she supposed to return to the capital tomorrow?”

Nanny Liu caught her breath and said, “According to Steward Wu, the Grand Princess opened the West Gate in the middle of the night and broke the curfew to come here. It must be urgent.”

Grand Princess Zhaoming sat in the hall, drinking tea and resting. Her clothes were not tidy, indicating she had rushed back.

Seeing her son and daughter-in-law disappear and return together, she was unsure whether to ask where they had been in the middle of the night. Fortunately, Lin Que was perceptive and explained before she could ask, saying he couldn’t sleep and took Li Mu for a walk. He then asked what had happened that couldn’t wait, even opening the city gates.

Grand Princess Zhaoming didn’t spare Lin Que’s dignity: “I was afraid that if I came back any later, you would kill Wudu as you did to Cao Quan’an.”

Cao Quan’an was the chief eunuch during the late emperor’s reign. When the late emperor died, and Wudu disappeared, he claimed to have an antidote from Wudu that could cure Lin Que’s deadly poison. However, Lin Que, not wanting to be controlled by an eunuch, bypassed Grand Princess Zhaoming and killed Cao Quan’an directly.

This incident left a significant psychological shadow on Grand Princess Zhaoming. Hearing that Lin Que might have found Wudu, she rushed back to the city overnight, fearing her rebellious son might kill him.

“That’s quite a statement…” Lin Que couldn’t help but laugh, “I’m not crazy enough to kill everyone who can cure me.”

Grand Princess Zhaoming was skeptical about Lin Que’s sanity and asked, “Where is Wudu?”

Lin Que: “Haven’t found him yet.”

Grand Princess Zhaoming didn’t believe him.

Lin Que: “Really, I haven’t found him. The two we found were impostors.”

Li Mu, who had been listening in confusion: Should I excuse myself?

But she didn’t dare ask in the serious atmosphere. Grand Princess Zhaoming initially wanted to send her away, but Lin Que pulled her to sit down and paused the conversation to have Nanny Liu bring hot water—Li Mu already had trouble sleeping, and more tea would be unbearable.

Seeing this, Grand Princess Zhaoming said nothing, and Li Mu sat there holding a cup of hot water, listening to their conversation.

It turned out that the Grand Princess didn’t know the details either. She had received reliable information that Lin Que had found Wudu, so she rushed back overnight.

Lin Que had to explain how he discovered the two fake Wudus. He deliberately omitted the part about ‘Li Mu stealing a letter, which caught his attention and led him to discover that she had once been given a fortune by Wudu, who had escaped from the palace.’ He only mentioned that the Jinyiwei found a secret passage leading to Chuanxin Hall at Mingtai Temple, and he had a good “talk” with the abbot who returned from his travels in May.

The abbot explained that an emperor left the secret passage as a precaution. Every abbot of the Mingtai Temple knew about it, but it was unclear if every emperor did.

The late emperor ordered Wudu to enter the palace to find a cure for King Yan. There would always be people who didn’t want King Yan to live and would try to kill Wudu. The abbot, fearing for Wudu’s safety, told him about the secret passage so he could escape the palace if necessary. The abbot was thorough and instructed the monks in the temple that if Wudu hadn’t left the palace but someone saw a monk resembling Wudu at Mingtai Temple, they should pretend not to know.

Unexpectedly, Wudu really used the secret passage. After escaping, he didn’t even have time to drink a sip of water, leaving a letter for the abbot before fleeing. Upon seeing the letter, the abbot pretended to repair the temple and destroyed the secret passage.

“Did the letter say where he went?” Grand Princess Zhaoming asked.

Lin Que: “No, but the abbot knows a few places. Over the years, during his travels, he has also been looking for Wudu.”

Grand Princess Zhaoming guessed what happened next: “You also sent people to those places and found two fake Wudus?”

“The first fake Wudu was a bait to assassinate me. Under severe torture, he revealed the clue ‘Yian Bodhisattva,’ indicating he was a follower of the Yian Sect. The assassination attempt on me at Mingtai Temple in May was also by the Yian Sect. They discovered the abbot was looking for Wudu and secretly threatened him for many years, forcing him to give up Wudu’s whereabouts.” Lin Que paused, then asked Grand Princess Zhaoming with a half-smile, “Who sent you the letter saying I found Wudu? A Chi probably doesn’t know yet. Was it Yan’an?”

Grand Princess Zhaoming, being considerate, didn’t reveal the person and instead asked, “If I hadn’t come to see you tonight, were you planning not to tell me that Wudu is still alive?”

“I didn’t want you to get your hopes up for nothing,” Lin Que lightly brushed off his mistake and brought the topic back, “And don’t cover for Yan’an. Tell me what that kid has been doing behind our backs—I only found out this afternoon and almost got a headache from anger—he pretended to go to Yangzhou to study but infiltrated the Yian Sect. He accidentally discovered the second fake Wudu and thought he was real, eagerly bringing him to my people. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have known he was so capable, daring to infiltrate a cult at such a young age. Even the leader of the Yian Sect’s Jiangnan branch treated him like a son. As his proper father, I almost didn’t know how to handle it.”

Grand Princess Zhaoming’s face turned very grim. After moments of silence, she squeezed out a sentence through gritted teeth: “I remember when you were sixteen, you secretly led a few hundred men through a poisonous forest to attack the enemy from behind. Sometimes, I really want to give both of you a good beating.”

Li Mu quietly took a sip of hot water, marveling at how this father and son had managed to survive until now. After all the twists and turns, the question returned to the starting point: Wudu didn’t die in the palace, so where is he now? The Yian Sect threatened the abbot to reveal Wudu’s whereabouts, likely also searching for him. It seemed Wudu hadn’t fallen into their hands.

Years ago, when it was uncertain if Wudu was alive, Grand Princess Zhaoming had secretly sent people to search for him. Wudu’s portrait was distributed to 159 prefectures nationwide, resulting in many fake Wudus being sent back. Some bore a resemblance by coincidence, while others were deliberately fabricated by certain places to curry favor with the Grand Princess. They even arranged elaborate stories, including claims of amnesia. It took a lot of effort to put an end to this. So, it wasn’t surprising to find two fake Wudus in the places provided by the abbot of Mingtai Temple over the past few months.

The real Wudu seemed to have vanished into thin air.

For a moment, no one spoke in the hall. Having eaten salty crispy potatoes, Li Mu found one cup of water insufficient and wanted another. The sound of water pouring into her cup drew the attention of Grand Princess Zhaoming and Lin Que, who were deep in thought.

Li Mu was about to drink when she unexpectedly met their gazes, causing her hand to shake and spill most of the water.

Grand Princess Zhaoming and Lin Que were merely lost in their thoughts and looked over instinctively at the sound, not intending to scare Li Mu. But Li Mu didn’t know that. Feeling their eyes on her, she thought she should say something to participate, so she blurted out a question that had been on her mind during their conversation—

“The monk you’re looking for…”

Li Mu stopped halfway, thinking the question might be silly. They had been searching for Wudu for so many years and must have considered everything.

Lin Que picked up the kettle and refilled her cup: “Why did you stop?”

Li Mu felt it was awkward to leave the question half-asked, so she continued, “Is he still a monk now?”

Grand Princess Zhaoming and Lin Que were both stunned.

Li Mu lowered her head to drink water, hearing no response. She felt like she was back on the operating table, regretting speaking up and wishing she could find a time machine to go back to before she opened her mouth.

At that moment, she heard Grand Princess Zhaoming sigh, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Lin Que also laughed, rubbing his forehead.

Li Mu didn’t know Wudu’s status, but they did. Wudu, who grew up in Huguo Temple, was a renowned young monk, proficient in Buddhist teachings and medicine, with an uncanny ability to read fortunes. His existence was far from that of a simple monk; otherwise, the abbot of Mingtai Temple wouldn’t have helped him so much. They had assumed that even if Wudu died, he wouldn’t return to secular life.

On the other hand, even if he did return to secular life, he might still be found unless he had a wife and children, with the children being older than six, allowing him to hide from so many people searching for him.

“Weixi is really smart.”

It was too late, so Grand Princess Zhaoming stayed at the mansion. Lin Que pulled Li Mu back to their room and generously praised her.

Li Mu, not used to criticism or praise, felt her face burning and quickly changed the subject, asking Lin Que, “What is the Yian Sect?”

Li Mu remembered the Yian Sect from the book, but it was an organization under the antagonist Lin Yan’an. It caused trouble for the protagonists and was even linked to rebel forces.

Lin Que brushed Li Mu’s cheek with his curved finger: “It’s a folk sect that originated in Luoyang, worshipping the Yian Bodhisattva. The followers were originally suffering commoners and righteous wanderers in the territories of the feudal lords, often assassinating the local lords. Later, I killed or imprisoned most of those lords, and now the remaining ones are in the capital. Suddenly, they stopped hating the lords and started targeting me.”

Li Mu was confused. They wanted to kill the lords, and Lin Que killed or imprisoned those lords, but now they wanted to kill Lin Que? What kind of logic was that?

Lin Que: “You don’t understand, right? Neither do I. Your son doesn’t understand either, so he risked his life to infiltrate the Yian Sect to find out.”

Li Mu: …In the process, he turned the Yian Sect into his own organization, expanding its followers and scale to a terrifying extent, ultimately using it against the protagonists.

That logic made sense.

Lin Que stared at Li Mu’s thoughtful face and couldn’t keep his mouth shut: “Do you want to know why they all think I would kill Wudu?”

Lin Yan’an thought so, and Grand Princess Zhaoming was worried about it, even going so far as to knock on the city gates in the middle of the night to rush over.

Li Mu: “Not really.”

After all, you will say it.

Lin Que: “Because I once killed someone who could save me, and before Wudu was summoned to the palace by the late emperor, he said my face was bad and that he wouldn’t save me unless I became a monk.”

Li Mu frowned.

But Lin Que smiled: “What he said didn’t matter. The late emperor still summoned him to the palace, who threatened the entire Huguo Temple to make him treat me.”

Huh?

Li Mu: “The late emperor summoned him to treat you?”

Didn’t the late emperor poison Lin Que? Why would the late emperor go to such lengths to find someone to cure him?

“Maybe he suddenly came to his senses as he got older.” Lin Que was still smiling, but the smile in his eyes faded a bit when he mentioned the late emperor: “After all, most of the people around him were gone. Looking back, among all his children, only one daughter was capable of defending the borders and repelling foreign enemies, cleaning up the mess left by the late crown prince’s campaign, and yet he killed her husband and disinherited her eldest son.”

“Perhaps he wanted to make amends. Even though I was of a different surname, he used my previously suppressed military achievements to grant me a title and made Qiwu the Princess of Kangning. But it was too late.”

From the day Lin Que drank the poison but didn’t die, it was already too late.

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