Social Anxiety in Ancient Times
Social Anxiety in Ancient Times 31

Chapter 31

In a season abundant with rainfall, it naturally wouldn’t rain for just one day. After a few days of respite, the heavy rain returned with thunder shrouding what should have been a sunny morning in dark clouds, making it as dim as night. Candles were lit throughout the summer palace until the clouds dispersed in the afternoon, revealing daylight.

During the day, it was somewhat better. Lin Que merely appeared to be in a bad mood, which was enough to quell the ministers’ heated arguments over the new policies. As a result, the discussions progressed more smoothly and peacefully.

By midnight, the heavy rain struck again, waking Lin Que with its noise. His face was indifferent, making people hesitant to approach him. His mind was constantly filled with scenes from ten years ago: the empty Lin family home after the door was pushed open, the blood-stained stone steps that couldn’t be washed clean by the rain, the palace city shrouded in heavy rain and the tightly closed palace gates. He kept hearing the late Emperor’s reprimands brought by Chief Eunuch Zheng Dexiang, scolding him for his disheveled appearance and disrespect for his elders. Mixed in were the tearful, gritted words of young Gu Chi, asking if their grandfather would kill him too. Even his mouth tasted of the poison he had once drunk as if he had taken it again, burning his insides with pain.

But he didn’t want to die. He couldn’t die. How could he die?

Lin Que was restless, unable to close his eyes, and didn’t want to. It felt like if he closed his eyes, the self who drank the poison ten years ago would die, leaving behind his mother and brother, as well as Qiwu, who was still alive but unknown to him at the time, and Yan’an, who had already lost his biological parents.

If he died, what would happen to them?

And…

And…

Weixi.

Lin Que looked at the sleeping Li Mu and suddenly felt annoyed by his unfulfilled desires. If it weren’t for his desires, he could wake Li Mu now, hold her, and have her keep him company instead of being afraid to wake her.

No, actually, this was better. She already slept so little; why bother her? Let her continue sleeping and not disturb her.

Lin Que lay awake, trying to distract himself by recalling the comfort of that night. Suddenly, a flash of lightning illuminated the room for a moment, followed by a terrifying thunderclap.

Lin Que had told Li Mu he would be scared, but at this moment, he showed no sign of fear, calmly awake.

Instead, Li Mu, who wasn’t afraid of thunder and rain, seemed startled awake by the thunder. Without opening her eyes, she instinctively moved closer to Lin Que.

Surprised, Lin Que reached out and held her. As soon as she was in his arms, Li Mu, still half-asleep, covered his ear with her hand.

Without fully opening her eyes, Li Mu mumbled, “Don’t be afraid. ” She adjusted to a comfortable position and fell back asleep.

Lin Que was stunned for a long time. The warmth of her embrace gradually replaced the images flashing in his mind. The taste of poison in his mouth faded, leaving only the sound of rain and thunder and Li Mu’s steady breathing.

The cool air on a rainy night was actually quite comfortable, perfect for lying in a warm bed, holding a loved one, and getting a good night’s sleep. Lin Que slowly tightened his arms around Li Mu and tried to close his eyes in her embrace.

The next day, Lin Que deliberately kept his eyes closed, waiting for Li Mu, who woke up earlier, to slip out of his embrace quietly. Once their bodies separated and Li Mu sat up, he pretended to have just woken up, reaching out to tug on her sleeve and asking, “Why are you up so early?”

The sky outside was still overcast, and Li Mu, unsure of the time, replied, “Isn’t it late already?”

She then asked him, “It seemed like it rained again last night. Did you sleep well?”

Lin Que lazily curled his lips, “Did it rain? I didn’t hear it.”

Li Mu struggled to move her gaze away from Lin Que’s face, nodding calmly.

Not hearing it was good, not hearing it was good. Darn it, how could someone who usually seemed so gentle and elegant have such an alluring side?

Li Mu silently calmed her racing heart and got up to wash and change clothes.

Even with a few lamps lit, the dim light on a cloudy day wasn’t good for reading, so Li Mu didn’t read. Instead, she practiced calligraphy for an hour, did warm-up exercises, and performed two full sets of Baduanjin. She didn’t feel tired after finishing, which gave her a sense of accomplishment. She temporarily stopped practicing archery. Although Lin Que assured her that she wouldn’t encounter anyone else at the hunting grounds, the idea of having the place to herself felt a bit too high-profile for her. So, she decided to continue practicing when they returned to the King’s mansion.

Messages from the pigeon loft still arrived, though the distance caused some delays. Fortunately, Li Mu treated the messages like browsing Weibo before her time travel, so the delay didn’t bother her.

The next day was sunny and bright. Li Mu sipped sour plum juice freshly taken from the icebox while reading the scrolls delivered from the pigeon loft. The contents included, but were not limited to, a fire at an official’s estate in the suburbs of the capital, fortunately with no casualties; a disobedient son of the Minister of Justice who killed someone with a vase during a dispute over gambling; and the exposure of embezzlement of military funds by a commander in Anzhou. There was also news that last year’s famous potato feast in the capital had been replaced by a trend of eating tomatoes this year, the same tomatoes that had been sent to Li Mu along with corn and sweet potatoes last year.

Li Mu understood; the sweet and sour taste was perfect for the hot summer. The classic tomato and egg stir-fry was a regular on her and Lin Que’s dining table. Although she didn’t like cooked tomatoes, preferring raw tomatoes sprinkled with sugar and eggs coated in tomato sauce, she deeply loved the tomato sauce eggs and always had the kitchen make them. Fortunately, she later discovered Lin Que liked cooked tomatoes, so she no longer had to force herself to eat them to avoid waste.

Li Mu slowly read through the scrolls from the pigeon loft, finishing one and picking up the next.

This time, the scroll detailed palace affairs. Li Mu skimmed past the news about the confined Empress and concubines who hadn’t come to the summer palace, quickly finding the key phrase—Seventh Prince’s birth mother, Concubine Kang, Lady Lu.

Lin Yan’an started serving as the study companion for the Seventh Prince last September. At first, Li Mu didn’t realize who the Seventh Prince was until recently when Lin Qiwu and Li Yunxi came to do their homework and mentioned that Lin Yan’an and several princes had been frequenting the hunting grounds. During a recent encounter, Li Yunxi recognized the prince beside Lin Yan’an as someone she had met at the Empress’s flower banquet in February.

“Are you talking about the Seventh Prince, Gu Yuwen?” Lin Qiwu asked Li Yunxi. Before Li Yunxi could answer, Li Mu choked on her own saliva.

Who? Gu Yuwen? The male lead of “Drunken Phoenix”?

Li Yunxi met him?

Is the power of the plot really that strong?

It’s no wonder Li Mu couldn’t remember the order of the male leads. In the book, supporting characters might be referred to by their order for simplicity, but the main characters were always called by their names. If Li Mu hadn’t transmigrated into the Li family, she wouldn’t have remembered Li Yunxi’s order in the family either.

In the book, the male lead disguised himself as a cowardly and timid waste, which caught the attention of Grand Princess Zhaoming, who chose him as the next puppet emperor.

In reality, the male lead didn’t start off pretending. At least before his birth mother, Concubine Kang, passed away, he was raised under her protection. Unfortunately, Concubine Kang was not favored and became one of the nine concubines only because she bore a prince. The Emperor didn’t like him either, so the palace staff treated them poorly, leading to Concubine Kang’s illness and death. This made the male lead realize the harshness of palace life, and he began to disguise and scheme to survive. During this time, the only person by his side was the female lead, Li Yunxi, who had been demoted to a slave and watched her sister, Li Ying, beaten to death. They supported each other through their toughest times and eventually ascended to the highest position in the country together.

Li Mu hadn’t paid attention to the male lead before, mainly because he was in the palace, and she had no authority over him. It wasn’t until she discovered Lin Yan’an had become his study companion that she realized the male lead’s fate had changed because of her.

In the book, Lin Yan’an was not the male lead’s study companion.

This wasn’t surprising. Lin Yan’an returned from Yangzhou because Lin Que married her, and only then was he arranged to be a study companion in the palace.

In the book, Lin Que doesn’t marry, so Lin Yan’an doesn’t return from Yangzhou and naturally doesn’t become a study companion.

Although it sounds reversed, the Seventh Prince, Gu Yuwen, had King Yan’s adopted son as his study companion. Even if the mother and son were not favored by the Emperor, the palace staff wouldn’t dare neglect them.

Li Mu read the recent news about Concubine Kang and sighed in relief.

No illness or disaster and life was better than in the book. Even if they reached the plot point where she might fall ill, there wouldn’t be a situation where the palace staff deliberately neglected her.

Very good, very good.

Li Mu put away the second scroll and picked up the third one.

As soon as she started reading, she paused and looked at the scroll’s tag, which indeed had her second sister, Li Zhi’s name on it.

After Li Zhi saved Gu Chi that day, Lin Que sent people to Mingyue Nunnery to secretly protect her, preventing the Yian Sect from finding out that Li Zhi had saved Gu Chi and retaliating against her.

So, it wasn’t surprising that the pigeon loft had news about Li Zhi.

What was surprising was that Li Zhi was in the nunnery for quiet cultivation. What could have happened that the pigeon loft specifically noted and sent over?

Could she be in danger?

Li Mu hurriedly unrolled the scroll. After reading it, she silently rolled it back up, feeling like a dog kicked by a passing couple on the roadside.

Why did the pigeon loft have to record and send over the increasingly ambiguous relationship between Li Zhi and Gu Chi? Couldn’t they give people some privacy?

Li Mu really didn’t want to know how Gu Chi retrieved Li Zhi’s clothes that had been washed away by the river when she went to wash clothes by the river, nor did she want to know that Li Zhi learned about herbs and made a herbal sachet as a thank-you gift for Gu Chi. She seriously didn’t want to know that in March, when Lin Qiwu was showing off the flower wreaths she made at Grand Princess Zhaoming’s mansion, Gu Chi saw them and picked a bunch of flowers to give to Li Zhi. While picking flowers, a bug crawled into his sleeve and bit him, and it was Li Zhi who took off his arm guard and applied medicine to his arm.

According to the records, they were almost caught at that time. Li Zhi panicked and hid Gu Chi, the flowers, and the arm guard in her wardrobe. If they had been discovered, no one would believe she wasn’t secretly meeting a lover.

However…

Li Mu, enduring a second blow, recalled the content she had read.

The two had been in contact since the beginning of the year. Initially, Gu Chi went to thank her, but later, he found out that some bad people were targeting Li Zhi because of her good looks. He personally dealt with the trouble for her, and after that, he often took care of Li Zhi. They went from being strangers to having an inexplicably ambiguous atmosphere whenever they were together.

Their relationship wasn’t like in the book, where they clearly cared for each other but remained cold and distant, filled with unresolved sorrow. Because the Li family was safe, Li Zhi didn’t suffer the pain of losing her family, and Gu Chi didn’t experience the death of his brother or fall for someone only to find they were separated by enmity. Their mindsets were different from those in the book, so their interactions were not only much more relaxed but also filled with a sense of forbidden allure.

Li Mu sighed, hoping they would be careful, especially since they were in a nunnery.

“What are you reading?” Lin Que asked as he returned from outside.

Like a student caught reading extracurricular books by the class teacher, Li Mu guiltily hid Li Zhi’s scroll in the pile of scrolls.

Lin Que raised an eyebrow, his gaze sweeping over the scrolls’ tags, and immediately guessed, “Your second sister and Gu Chi?”

Li Mu: “…You know?”

Lin Que: “I overheard.”

He had even reminded Gu Chi, but the pigeon loft still sent the scroll, indicating his reminder was useless.

Li Mu sat upright and serious, “Lin Que.”

Lin Que cooperated, sitting properly, “What do you want to say?”

With a serious and conflicted expression, Li Mu asked, “How should your brother and I address each other in the future? He calls me Sister-in-law, and I call him Brother-in-law, each addressing the other differently?”

Lin Que: “…”

This is indeed a serious problem.

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