Social Anxiety in Ancient Times
Social Anxiety in Ancient Times 44 (END)

Chapter 44

Li Mu observed the entire process of Grand Princess Zhaoming seizing the throne from an interesting perspective. She also clearly understood that during this period, there were many times when Lin Que and Grand Princess Zhaoming had differing opinions. The most serious incident was when she witnessed Lin Que being chased and beaten by Grand Princess Zhaoming, with Lin Que hiding behind her to escape. The main reason for the dispute was that Grand Princess Zhaoming disagreed with using such a roundabout way to make her son look like a villain.

“Since it’s my throne, I can take it myself,” Grand Princess Zhaoming had said. If it were last year, she wouldn’t have imagined herself saying such things. Now, saying “my throne” felt completely natural.

Once the invisible shackles were broken, the desire for more grew. Ambition, after all, knows no gender. With her abilities, she could easily choose an auspicious day, enter the palace, and force Gu Youxun to write an abdication edict with a knife to his throat. She could handle the remaining obstacles herself.

Lin Que, hiding behind Li Mu, insisted on his approach: “Those people in prison are the ones I want to kill. I have my reasons. But in your eyes, they don’t have to die. Because I want to do this, you allow me to.”

“So, I shouldn’t let you bear the consequences of my actions.”

Future generations would undoubtedly have different views on this purge, knowing it was all to pave the way for Princess Zhaoming’s ascension.

If Grand Princess Zhaoming had truly forced the palace, her reputation would have suffered, and people might have thought she ordered her son to kill so many.

Lin Que didn’t want his mother to bear the burden of his killings, yet he was determined to kill those people. So, he devised this convoluted plan, making the court think he was usurping the throne. They would first assume the worst, thinking it was a change of dynasty, and then step back to realize the Great Yong still existed, just with the princess succeeding.

This would save a lot of trouble and beautify Grand Princess Zhaoming’s ascension as a national salvation.

When Lin Que explained this to Li Mu, she immediately thought of the well-known “door-in-the-face” technique in modern times.

Grand Princess Zhaoming sneered, “Do you think by doing this, no one will blame me?”

Future generations’ evaluations are unpredictable. How was this dispute resolved? Mainly, Grand Princess Zhaoming figured it out herself—

“Your approach is useless. The court will understand before I die that I am not the ‘expedient measure’ pushed out to balance you.”

“It was I who allowed you to kill so many.”

“It was I who used my son as a tool to eliminate dissent.”

“It was I who wanted the throne.”

“The entire court will believe they were not played by you, Lin Que, but by me, Gu Shu.”

“As long as I am a legitimate emperor, half of your infamy for slaughter will be mine.”

“As a son, don’t always think of rushing ahead of your mother.”


The Empress ascended the throne, bringing her youngest son, daughter-in-law, and niece into the palace.

Grand Princess Zhaoming planned to hand over the palace affairs to Li Zhi after she gave birth, just as she had entrusted her with the affairs of the princess’s mansion before. Before that, Li Zhi’s main task was to take good care of her pregnancy. Even Wudu said that Li Zhi had a not-easily-fertile body. Her first marriage of three years without pregnancy was not a coincidence, and not conceiving despite many happy times with Gu Chi in the nunnery was not just good luck. On the contrary, this pregnancy was a rare coincidence, and no one could guarantee such luck in the future, so it needed careful attention.

Li Mu’s fear of the palace also diminished significantly after the change of rulers. When Li Zhi, who was pregnant, missed her, she visited the palace to see her.

The news of Li Zhi’s pregnancy spread in July, but she had actually conceived in May. In June, feeling uncomfortable due to the hot weather, she called a doctor, who diagnosed her pregnancy, and she has been carefully nurturing it since then.

“Wudu Master said I was lucky, and this baby is most likely a girl.”

In the late stages of pregnancy, female fetuses are generally smaller than male fetuses, making childbirth somewhat easier. If she were still with the Ning family, knowing she might never conceive again and that this child was a girl, Li Zhi might worry that her child would be looked down upon after birth. Fortunately, she remarried, and her mother-in-law was the Empress herself, who had raised a confident and assertive daughter like Lin Qiwu. With the only grandchild being a girl, there was no fear of neglect or harsh treatment.

When Li Mu entered the palace, she also met Li Yunxi. The Empress loved having her around, helping with writing or delivering messages, and making her familiar with the court officials at a young age.

At the end of the year, the matriarch’s health declined, and Li Mu visited her. As she was about to leave, she encountered her seventh sister, Li Ying, who came specifically to borrow money.

Li Ying and Li Zhi shared the same father but had different mothers. Last year, their father revealed that Li Wendao had nearly endangered the entire family, causing Li Ying to have nightmares for several days.

Li Ying’s birth mother, Madam Liu, wasn’t present at the time. When she asked what was wrong, Li Ying didn’t dare to say. The matriarch, feeling sorry for her, had someone from Madam Liu’s family take the child out for a break.

Madam Liu’s family was a merchant and not wealthy in the early years. However, since Li Mu introduced the “Catch the Bandit” game, they took advantage of the opportunity, selling the game in the south and making a fortune. After that, they gradually engaged in other businesses, slowly becoming wealthy and increasing their interactions with the Li family. Li Ying’s cousin, who traveled extensively, became close friends with Li Tingwu.

Li Ying went south with them, witnessing the prosperity of Jiangnan, which was different from the capital, and meeting many daughters of wealthy merchants. It was her first time traveling far, and she didn’t want to be outdone. She brought many jewelry and clothes, later selling much of the jewelry. The money she earned, combined with the monthly allowance she saved from betting with Lin Qiwu, was used to buy local jewelry and embroidered fabrics that were rare in the capital. She sold them in her uncle’s shop, multiplying her money several times over.

Initially, she wasn’t sure if her plan would work because her cousin had tried it before and failed, ending up with unsold goods. Li Ying had received some of these items and found them unattractive, so she was eager to try her hand at selecting goods, hoping for a different outcome.

But what if her choices were also poor? If she couldn’t sell them, all the money she spent would be wasted. Li Ying had moments of self-doubt, but like Li Mu discovered, she had a natural gambling spirit.

This time, she won the gamble. She continued to invest the money, sometimes losing, but mostly profiting, gradually gaining experience. She wanted to make a big move to surprise everyone, so she secretly borrowed money from Li Mu.

Li Mu, aware of Li Ying’s activities through the pigeon loft, thought it was good for the child to earn money through her own business and lent her some money.

Li Ying thanked her profusely, showing much more tact than when she was younger and promised to repay the loan with interest. She then boldly asked, “Can I borrow your maid, Qianyun? I remember she’s good at tying knots… Don’t worry, I won’t cheat my family. I’ll just borrow her for a while and won’t tell anyone she’s your maid. I’ll also pay her.”

Li Mu: “…I’ll go back and ask.”

Qianyun was actually two years younger than Li Mu. Even so, she was already of marriageable age in this era. However, due to Li Mu’s social anxiety and reluctance to go out, as well as Feixing’s continued single status, Qianyun was content with her situation. She was also very timid, rejecting several suitable matches found by Nanny Zhao and always hiding from her, making her life quite difficult.

Feixing explained the situation to Qianyun and asked if she wanted to earn some extra money by helping Li Ying. Although Qianyun was tempted by the idea of avoiding Nanny Zhao, she was also afraid to go alone, feeling very hesitant.

Li Mu asked Feixing, “Do you want to go together?”

Fei Xing turned to meet Li Mu’s gaze, “Huh?”

Li Mu replied, “Tell Li Ying to pay you.”

Feixing, being skilled in martial arts, would surely earn more as a bodyguard.

Feixing didn’t know how to describe her feelings.

Li Mu always acted as if she knew Feixing’s true identity but never confirmed it or blamed her, leaving Feixing unsure of when Li Mu had figured it out. With Qianyun’s pleading eyes on her, Feixing slowly nodded.

With Feixing accompanying her, Qianyun finally agreed to stay with Li Ying for a while.

During the New Year, Li Mu accompanied Lin Que to the palace for a family banquet and stayed overnight. The next day, there was a grand court assembly, so she waited for Lin Que to finish his duties before they left the palace together.

In the morning, it started snowing outside. Li Mu practiced her calligraphy for a while, then went to the bookshelf to find a book. She overheard palace maids whispering outside the window, “Did you see? Did King Yan’s wife look like the Bodhisattva in the temple?”

“Keep your voice down. I couldn’t even get in.”

After a few words, a guard asked what they were doing sneaking around, scaring them into explaining and quickly running away.

Knowing what the two maids were talking about, Li Mu squatted down, placing the book on her head, her exposed ears turning red.

It was embarrassing to say, but she seemed to have been deified. Although the people of Minzhong had called her a Bodhisattva in her early years, she hadn’t expected that with the subsequent locust and flood disasters and the spread of plays about her, more and more people would call her a living Bodhisattva. Some even built a shrine for her, which was quite absurd. The sweet potatoes’ resistance to locusts was understandable. The flood control was due to her suggestions about not drinking raw water and the transmission routes of infectious diseases, which helped control the post-flood epidemic to some extent. She had protested to Lin Que, asking him not to push her into the spotlight.

Lin Que never forced her, but this time, he didn’t listen. He said, “You’re so good. I can’t let my infamy after death drag you down.”

In the afternoon, the snow stopped, and Lin Que came to pick her up, stepping through the evening glow.

Lin Que had changed out of his elaborate ceremonial robes. Before leaving the palace, he took her to the tower to look at the majestic palace covered in white snow from a high vantage point.

As dusk enveloped the land, the setting sun’s afterglow shone on the pristine white snow, covering the grand palace complex with a layer of dazzling gold.

Li Mu was entranced by the view and suddenly turned to look at Lin Que. She remembered how, during school, her deskmate who was in love would always turn to look at her boyfriend during class. At the time, she couldn’t understand it, but now she finally did. When you like someone, you really can’t help but look at them.

The happiest thing was that every time Li Mu looked at Lin Que, she found him looking at her, too.

Lin Que showed his right hand—he had placed it on the railing earlier, and the remaining snow had dirtied his palm. He asked, “Can I borrow a handkerchief?”

Li Mu was startled and suddenly noticed that Lin Que was wearing a newly made silver cloak while she was wearing a bamboo green cloak, matching the colors from when they first met. However, it was summer then, and their clothes were much lighter. It had already been five years since then.

Li Mu thought about her response back then and said, “I don’t have a handkerchief.”

Lin Que pretended to be troubled, “What should I do then?”

Li Mu replied, “My place isn’t far. How about I take you back to wash up?”

Lin Que said, “That would be very kind of you, miss.”

Li Mu couldn’t keep up the act and laughed, taking out a handkerchief for Lin Que.

Lin Que laughed too, took the handkerchief, wiped his palm clean, and held Li Mu’s hand as they walked down the tower to go home.

“If I had known you would be my wife, I would have explained that those people wanted to kill me, and I acted in self-defense when we first met.”

“I wouldn’t have believed you. We didn’t know each other.”

“So young, yet so cautious. Shall I bring you a lucky charm?”

“Sure.”

“Let’s stop by Baixiang Zhai on the way. A new shop opened across from it. I forgot the name, but I remember they sell radish cakes that you love, the same ones Qiwu brought you last time.”

They walked down the crimson stairs step by step, the setting sun casting its light on them. A cool breeze blew past, carrying their usual intimate words into the distance.

End of Main Story!

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