Chapter 11 – 011

“Bah!” Gu Leyu, like a worm thrown into a hot pot, almost jumped three feet high. “Who envies you for getting fucked by a man in the ass!”

Gu Xian yawned. “I know you want to find someone to fuck your ass. Li Yuqiu, take note of it, and we’ll advertise it for him later.”

“Gu Xian, dare you!” Gu Leyu was so angry that his face turned red.

“No need to be polite, it’s only right for an elder brother to take care of his younger brother.”

“You can only be proud in this small, crappy company!” Gu Leyu, unable to out-argue Gu Xian, could only angrily leave a harsh remark, and slammed the door so hard that it shook the room as he stormed out.

Li Yuqiu dug his ear. “Why does he always come to argue with you even though he never wins?”

Regardless of other aspects of the office’s decor, Gu Xian was very satisfied with the existence of the padded sofa. He lay down on it, closed his eyes, and commented, “He’s bad at it but addicted.”

Li Yuqiu sat on the single sofa beside him, patted the armrest, and suddenly said, “This Wei Wenxian really knows how to suck up, huh? This is a Langbo sofa, worth hundreds of thousands for a set! But isn’t Guangyao’s business not doing so well? They haven’t had anything impressive for years. Where did he get so much money to renovate your office?”

“The entertainment industry is lucrative, you know that. Didn’t Han Rui cry to us before about how he gave his entire monthly salary of 30,000 yuan to a new D-list celebrity he hooked up with, while that person could earn over 100,000 yuan a month?”

“That’s just absurd,” Li Yuqiu muttered. “I work myself to death in my own company every month and can’t even earn that much.”

“Second-generation capitalist, stop pretending you’re hard done by!” Gu Xian kicked him. “With your current performance, sooner or later, the whole company will be yours.”

Li Yuqiu looked even more depressed. He hesitated for a long time, wanting to speak but stopping himself multiple times: “…Speaking of which, you turned our group of troublemakers into model youths that parents boast about. Are you really not planning to do something for yourself?”

Gu Xian turned over: “My life’s goal is to muddle through and wait for death, why bother with all that effort.”

Gu Xian was starting to get a bit impatient, but Li Yuqiu couldn’t help but continue: “You work at an entertainment company that’s nothing to the Gu family, and Gu Leyu is so unhappy about it that he specifically comes over to make trouble for you. If he takes over the Gu family business in the future, won’t he kick you out of the family entirely?”

“By then, I’ll just rely on you guys to support me.” Gu Xian replied lazily, “Why else do you think I put so much effort into helping you guys?”

Li Yuqiu was speechless: “…”

“What, you’re not willing?”

“How could I be unwilling!” After shouting that, Li Yuqiu’s voice immediately softened, “I just can’t stand that little bastard Gu Leyu. Your mother was still around when his mother gave birth to him, so what right does he have to be so arrogant in front of you? And with his delicate and pretentious demeanor, it’s obvious he’s meant to be dominated. How can he be homophobic?”

“That’s why I said he’s envious of me.” Gu Xian consoled Li Yuqiu instead, “Homophobia is just a deep closet case. He’s only acting out because he can’t find someone to dominate him.”

Gu Xian’s assertion of “envy” was so self-righteous that Li Yuqiu suspiciously asked, “You didn’t actually do anything with Xie Yunjing, did you?”

“Obviously!” Although Gu Xian didn’t open his eyes, his tone made it easy to imagine him rolling them. “With Xie Yunjing’s attitude, like he could strangle me if it weren’t illegal, if I had actually done anything with him, you’d be taking me to the hospital this morning instead of bringing me to work.”

“Why did you have to marry him…” Li Yuqiu was depressed again, muttering like an old lady, “Xie Yunjing is a die-hard homosexual, and Gu Leyu is begging to be fed. Wouldn’t they make a perfect pair? If I’d known, we should’ve had Gu Leyu marry in your place. He’d get fed and hold onto Xie’s family, I bet that little bastard would be thrilled!”

As Li Yuqiu was getting more enthusiastic about his rambling, Gu Xian suddenly interjected.

“That wouldn’t be necessary.”

He turned over and opened his eyes, and looked at the ceiling seriously as he said, “Xie Yunjing doesn’t deserve that.”

*

After inspecting Guangyao’s cafeteria environment, “momy” Li Yuqiu was finally persuaded by Gu Xian to go back to his own family company for the remaining half-day of work.

After catching up on sleep all morning, Gu Xian had slept enough. Although he came to work at Guangyao because the Old Master Xie didn’t allow his “son-in-law” to be unemployed, and Gu Rongcai arranged this idle job for him, he originally only planned to just get by to deal with the Old Master Xie. But, since he was already here.

Photos of Guangyao’s artists hung on the walls on both sides of the corridor. The people looked good; their features were delicate. However, the styling and photography were not exactly fashionable, making it clear why Guangyao hadn’t produced a popular artist in years.

The “bathhouse” style welcome ceremony in the morning wasn’t anything unique, just a result of tradition.

As Gu Xian picked apart the flaws in each photo, he internally ridiculed how such embarrassing photos were hung on the walls. He wondered why any naive young people would still sign with Guangyao, and it was truly a miracle that this failing company hadn’t collapsed yet.

“Ah!”

Caught off guard, he was bumped into directly. He subconsciously reached out to steady the person, only to find himself face-to-face with someone whose picture he had just seen on the wall.

It was Wu Yanhui, with her delicate and sweet appearance, currently Guangyao’s leading star. On the photo wall, her position was right after two predecessors who had starred in major hit dramas but had since retired, making her third after Wei Wenxian’s large face.

There was, of course, plenty to mock about Wei Wenxian putting his own large face on the wall, but for now…

“Young Master!” Wu Yanhui exclaimed in surprise, as if only just realizing whom she had bumped into.

“Young Master, I think I’ve twisted my ankle…!” She showed a pained expression, speaking pitifully while clinging tightly to Gu Xian’s arm, with no intention of standing on her own.

Gu Xian abruptly stepped back, and the supposedly injured person stood there perfectly fine.

Wu Yanhui: “…”

Wu Yanhui smoothed her hair by her temple, pretending nonchalance. “It seems I was mistaken.”

The entertainment industry has always been rife with messy rumors, and for those seeking to climb the social ladder, the title of “Eldest Young Master of the Gu Group” was intimidating enough. Gu Xian couldn’t be bothered to argue too much, especially since the other party was Guangyao Media’s top actress and one of the company’s key profit-makers. He simply stated his position: “If there’s nothing else, get back to work and stop slacking off here.”

Wu Yanhui’s expression stiffened, and she nearly stomped her foot in frustration. Unfortunately, compared with her, Gu Xian was more interested in the photos on the wall than her.

The scent of Wu Yanhui’s perfume didn’t fade; in fact, it grew even stronger.

“Young Master, are you getting to know the company’s artists? The information on the wall isn’t detailed enough; let me introduce them to you.” 

Noticing the faint touches, Gu Xian frowned slightly and clicked his tongue internally: “Touch me again, and you can expect to be terminated.”

The scent of the perfume faded away with the sound of her clicking footsteps. Gu Xian rubbed his somewhat itchy nose, and seriously doubted how Wu Yanhui had managed to attain her position as the company’s top artist.

After being so disrupted, he lost interest in wandering around and returned to his office to continue living his ideal life of idleness and indulgence.

Until three o’clock in the afternoon.

There was a knock on the office door, and a male voice called from outside: “Young Master Gu, Mr. Wei sent me to bring you afternoon tea.”

Gu Xian’s eyes were glued to the game on his phone, and he casually responded, “Come in.”

“Just put it on the table.”

About to win against the enemy’s crystal, he ignored the clinking sound of the tray being set down and remained fully absorbed in the game, fiercely dominating his virtual opponents.

However, just as Gu Xian was in a life-or-death standoff with his enemy, a dark shadow fell from above, landing heavily on his legs.

Game deity, real-life noob, Gu Xian, let out a miserable “ow” on the spot. He couldn’t care less about whether the crystal in the game was destroyed. He struggled to sit up on the sofa, and finally saw the executioner who had inflicted this brutal “Mount Tai” punishment on him.

The “executioner” was a young, handsome guy named Ke Silin, whom Gu Xian remembered from the welcome lineup that morning.

At this moment, Ke Silin seemed deaf to Gu Xian’s cry of pain and blind to his grim expression. He continued to act suavely, tugging at his shirt with the top two buttons undone, squeezing out a twisted, sycophantic smile: “Young Master Gu, you look bored all by yourself. How about I keep you company?”

Gu Xian: “…”

Gu Xian suspected that all the artists in this company were mentally sick. Otherwise, how could he encounter back-to-back attempts at unspoken rules on his first day at work!

“Get off me!!!” Gu Xian roared, not just out of anger but because Ke Silin was genuinely heavy!

When this little brat sat down, it was a full-on “smack,” landing without any cushioning whatsoever! If his aim had been even slightly off, he could’ve perfectly reenacted the Invincible East^[1]东方不败: “The Invincible East,” a famous martial arts character known for a flamboyant and extreme demeanor, often used humorously in modern contexts to reference exaggerated or … Continue reading!

Ke Silin acted as if he hadn’t heard, continuing his awkwardly seductive performance, and threw a stiff wink: “Young Master Gu, I can do anything.”

“Can you perform orthopedic surgery? My leg is about to break!!!” Gu Xian wished he had the strength to fling the guy onto the floor.

Ke Silin finally stopped his clumsy attempts at seduction, and looked dumbfounded: “Huh?”

Gu Xian was so frustrated that he felt like giving up the struggle.

The case was solved, this company’s failure to produce stars was because they signed on idiots!

Gu Xian, feeling like a salted fish who had lost all hope, sighed: “Get off…”

“Oh, am I interrupting my sister-in-law?”

Another voice sounded from the doorway, causing Gu Xian to turn his head with a face full of despair.

—Ke Silin, that idiot, hadn’t even closed the door!

The person who came was Xie Huaihong, the son of Xie Yunjing’s uncle and the eldest of the Xie family’s younger generation.

He smiled at Gu Xian and, understandingly, said, “Go ahead, sister-in-law. I’ll keep your secret and won’t tell Xiao Jing.”

As he spoke, he stepped out and closed the office door behind him.

Gu Xian: “…”

Was today some kind of idiot’s festival? One after another, they all seemed to flock to him!

“Get off!!! Go back and wait for your termination notice!” Gu Xian’s voice was full of gritted teeth, sounding as if he could tear apart all the fools who had made a scene in front of him at any moment.

Author’s Note: 

Xiao Xie: He loves me.