Chapter 9: Catching a Kitten

ᰔ Shen Suhui needs her hug. ᰔ

Both of them were preoccupied with their thoughts and remained silent all the way. After more than ten minutes, the car came to a stop at the bottom of the apartment complex.

Yu Ran couldn’t help but reach out and touch the back of Shen Suhui’s hand. Her hand was very cold, extremely cold.

“I’m fine.” Shen Suhui turned her head and forced a smile at her. “You heard everything, right? It’s normal to be uncomfortable the first time. I’m already used to it, I don’t feel anything anymore…”

“…”

She tried to hide her raw wounds with incoherent words, and Yu Ran looked at her feigned strength with deep sorrow.

“Shen Suhui…”

“I’m fine, I have to go.”

She hastily unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car.

“Shen Suhui.” Yu Ran chased after her, looking at her back.

“I’m a bit regretful…” Shen Suhui didn’t have the courage to turn around. Her body started to tremble due to the somatic symptoms of depression. She spoke incoherently, “I shouldn’t have let you take me home, I shouldn’t have…”

“Yu Ran, just leave, go home, alright? Right now… I don’t need to see you…”

She constantly yearned for Yu Ran, longing to see her and to be close to her, but at this moment, she wished Yu Ran had never witnessed this.

Why couldn’t she have steeled her heart twenty minutes ago? She could have taken the subway or a taxi, and things wouldn’t have turned out like this.

Wang Lanzhi’s words had long ceased to affect her, but hearing those degrading words in Yu Ran’s presence caused Shen Suhui immense pain, a pain magnified a thousandfold.

“I don’t look at you any differently. In my heart, you’re still Shen Suhui.”

Yu Ran slowly approached her, but each time she drew near, Shen Suhui would take a few steps forward.

“Don’t push me away,” Yu Ran pleaded.

“Don’t come any closer…” Shen Suhui’s voice began to break, “If you do, I won’t agree to be friends with you, and I won’t agree to…”

…won’t agree to let you pursue me.

—-

On the verge of breaking down, Shen Suhui couldn’t let herself cry in front of Yu Ran; she knew she looked terrible when she cried.

Yu Ran stopped moving closer. She watched Shen Suhui’s back, understanding that pushing too hard might backfire.

As Shen Suhui pretended to nonchalantly enter the elevator, Yu Ran suddenly dashed forward just as the doors were about to close, slipping her long fingers into the gap and forcing the doors open again.

So be it, even if it means being disliked.

Shen Suhui needed her embrace.

Yu Ran wrapped Shen Suhui tightly from behind.

In that moment, Shen Suhui’s body tensed, her rigidity unprecedented. She seemed to turn to stone in Yu Ran’s arms.

“I’m here with you. You can let it out, cry or scream if you want,” Yu Ran said, holding her slender waist, “Just please don’t push me away, okay?”

“I’ll forget what just happened. Shen Suhui, please don’t take back the chance you gave me.”

Gradually, Shen Suhui relaxed in her arms. Her body was no longer stiff but began to tremble slightly.

“Tell me, which floor do you live on?” Yu Ran asked, as if soothing a child.

“The seventeenth floor.”

Yu Ran pressed the button.

“What do you plan to do tonight? Watch a movie or sleep?”

“I’m tired,” Shen Suhui’s voice was hoarse, “I want to sleep.”

“…Okay.”

With a ding, the elevator arrived.

Shen Suhui took out her keys and walked to her door, Yu Ran silently following behind.

—–

In moments of emotional breakdown, one cannot feel love. As a result, Shen Suhui overlooked their first hug, how warm Yu Ran’s embrace was.

“Do you…want to come in for a bit?”

The place was a mess. Shen Suhui was just being polite; she didn’t want Yu Ran’s first visit to be to her untidy home, especially not tonight.

“No, it’s okay,” Yu Ran sensed her thoughts, “I’ll come over next time when you’re feeling better.”

“Okay.”

“Tonight, can we talk on the phone?”

“…”

Shen Suhui met Yu Ran’s gaze, which was filled with sincere sadness and affection. It was the first time Shen Suhui had seen Yu Ran with such an expression.

“…Okay, you call me.”

No matter what, Shen Suhui couldn’t refuse Yu Ran.

The journey home took forty minutes, and Zhangshan was still heavily congested after nine o’clock, making Yu Ran increasingly agitated.

The car ahead blocked her way, its speed fluctuating. Yu Ran signaled to overtake three times, each time the car sped up just as she was about to pass. After the third attempt, her patience wore thin. Usually calm, she slammed the steering wheel and muttered, “Fuck.”

Finally overtaking, Yu Ran stepped on the gas. The forty-minute drive took less than twenty-five.

Once home, she didn’t bother tidying up and immediately called Shen Suhui.

The voice on the other end was faint, as if drained of energy, making Yu Ran’s heart sink.

“What are you doing?”

“Just finished my bath, getting ready to sleep.” Shen Suhui paused, “What about you?”

“Me too,” Yu Ran’s tone was gentle, “I’m getting ready to sleep too.”

“Then…”

“But I’m not sleepy yet,” Yu Ran said, “Shen Suhui, you go to sleep. I want to stay on the line until you fall asleep.”

“Yu Ran, do you regret knowing me?”

“Don’t think like that. You’re the best.”

“Really?” Shen Suhui had just taken a sleeping pill, her eyelids heavy, her voice softening, “Yu Ran, I agreed to let you pursue me so you’d have a chance to back out.”

Her voice grew fainter, “Once you truly understand me, maybe you won’t…”

“What do you mean, Shen Suhui?” Yu Ran’s tone turned anxious.

But the other end had already gone silent. Now, she could only hear Shen Suhui’s steady breathing.

Yu Ran’s heart finally relaxed. As long as she made it through tonight, the other issues could be dealt with tomorrow.

“Goodnight, Shen Suhui.”

As it turned out, Shen Suhui was a coward.

After that night, she began to avoid Yu Ran more obviously, like a sensitive kitten.

And Yu Ran was best at dealing with sensitive kittens.

Too distant, and they wouldn’t feel warmth; too close, and they’d become reactive.

Yu Ran changed her car. Every night after work, she would park downstairs, watching the lights on the seventeenth floor, wondering what Shen Suhui was doing.

The café had been closed for several days. When the weekend came, Yu Ran arrived early in the neighborhood. At eight in the morning, she finally saw Shen Suhui come out with a backpack.

Yu Ran drove to follow her. Shen Suhui got on a bus heading to the city library.

—–

After parking her car, Yu Ran lost sight of her. She began searching floor by floor, eventually finding Shen Suhui in the academic section.

Shen Suhui found a book on mind studies and sat in a corner, forcing herself to read quietly.

“What a coincidence, you’re here too.”

Yu Ran placed a book on social medicine on the table. She acted naturally, not staring at Shen Suhui or deliberately trying to talk.

“Yeah, what a coincidence.”

Shen Suhui was wearing wired earphones, and a blue MP3 player lay beside her.

In this era, such antiques were rarely seen.

Yu Ran resisted her curiosity and forced herself to focus on the material in front of her.

They studied until mealtime. Whether Shen Suhui absorbed anything was uncertain, but Yu Ran didn’t take in a single word.

She tapped the table softly and whispered, “Want to grab a bite together?”

Shen Suhui closed her book and nodded.

The city library was located in Yushan District, very close to Zhang Middle School. Only after they stepped outside did they start talking freely.

“What do you feel like eating?”

“I want the ramen from across the school,” Shen Suhui said. “I used to go there often for lunch after school.”

“Alright.”

The ramen shop was very popular, offering good value and great taste. Despite three years of high school, Yu Ran had never stepped inside.

Since Shen Suhui liked it, Yu Ran was more than willing to give it a try.

“It’s really spicy. If you don’t like spicy food, you can ask the owner to put less chili,” Shen Suhui said, her mood brightening and her words flowing more freely. “You might not be used to it though. Maybe we should…”

“Let’s go there. My family never let me try it before, which is a shame. Back then, many of my classmates said the ramen was really good.”

Shen Suhui’s eyes crinkled in a smile.

“Alright.”