Chapter 51

Seeing the text message, Lu Yan cried even harder.

She didn’t replied to him for a long time until Shen Kuo’s call came in, but she hung up. He called again right after, but Lu Yan hung up once more.

At this moment, she had no idea how to face him.

The third time, Lu Yan looked at his name flashing on the phone screen… she knew that if she didn’t answer this time, Shen Kuo would never call again.

The girl kept wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, and her trembling hand finally pressed the answer button.

She didn’t say anything, even holding her breath…

On the other end of the call, she could hear the noisy background of the hospital.

Shen Kuo stayed silent for over ten seconds before finally speaking: “Yanyan, I don’t mind.”

If he had minded, he wouldn’t have chosen her from the beginning.

Lu Yan completely broke down, gasping for air, and through her trembling cries, she said—

“But I mind!”

Dad Shen was critically ill, and it was all her family’s fault, yet Shen Kuo was still so good to her…

Lu Yan felt as though her heart was being torn apart.

“Shen Kuo, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry…”

She apologized to him in a muddled way.

“You haven’t wronged me.”

Shen Kuo clenched his fists, his voice still calm: “Lu Yan, never say those two words to me again.”

Lu Yan hung up the phone and cried for a while before finally falling into a deep sleep.

She slept until five in the afternoon.

For once, Lu Zhen didn’t come to disturb her. When she woke up, she felt weak all over, walking out of her room in slippers.

Lu Zhen was still reading, it was rare to see him so absorbed in his books.

Even the housemaid, Aunt Li, commented, “Look at the young master, he’s really putting in the effort. He’s aiming for the top scorer!”

Lu Yan went to the bathroom to wash her face and looked at her swollen eyes. She looked so ugly.

After crying, she felt much better inside. She asked Aunt Li for a couple of cucumber slices to put on her eyes. Feeling hungry, she ate the leftover cucumber.

Returning to her room, Lu Yan closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

Children cry when something happens, but in front of Shen Kuo, she always felt like an immature child.

At eight o’clock in the evening, Lu Zhen finished his wash and prepared to go to bed to rest for tomorrow’s college entrance exam.

Before bed, he knocked on Lu Yan’s door—

“You haven’t ‘greeted’ me all day, you little brat. Seeing me work so hard, you couldn’t even peel an apple for your old man.”

Lu Yan responded in a dull voice: “Mm.”

“Open the door.”

“Why open the door?”

“Let me give your head a rub.”

“I’m not your dog!”

“The exam is tomorrow, I’m just trying to get some good luck. You’ve always been lucky.”

Lu Yan quickly placed the cucumber slices back on her eyes and opened the door.

“Ah, you scared me half to death.”

“Just putting on a face mask.”

“Alright.”

Lu Zhen grabbed her hair roughly and mumbled to himself, “Buddha bless, Tsinghua, Peking University, Fudan, Jiaotong University, Amitabha…”

After mumbling for a while, he patted Lu Yan on the back of her head, “Alright, go to bed now.”

As he turned to leave, Lu Yan suddenly grabbed the hem of his shirt.

“What is it?”

Lu Yan hesitated for a long while before speaking in a hoarse voice: “Dad, good luck tomorrow.”

“Mm, got it.” He patted her forehead, a rare tenderness flickering in his eyes. “Don’t worry.”

After watching Lu Zhen leave, she returned to her room, turned her back to the door, and took out her phone.

The screen showed three missed calls, all from the same person—Shen Kuo.

The times were 4:00 PM, 4:10 PM, and 4:27 PM.

She had slept too soundly, and with her phone on silent, she hadn’t received the calls.

Tomorrow was the college entrance exam, and no matter how sad she was inside, she couldn’t let Shen Kuo worry about her.

She couldn’t affect him.

Lu Yan called Shen Kuo back.

The phone rang for a long time, but no one answered.

Thinking of the three missed calls in the afternoon, a sense of unease suddenly rose within her, something vague and unexplainable. She paced around her room and decided to go find him.

She pressed her ear to the door and heard Lu Zhen enter his room.

He always fell asleep quickly. Lu Yan guessed he was already asleep, and quietly sneaked out of the house. Riding her bike, she sped all the way to the entrance of the city’s People’s Hospital.

She didn’t even have time to lock her bike. It fell to the ground, and she didn’t stop to pick it up, running all the way… up to the third floor.

She thought she would see his figure in the corridor.

But the corridor was empty.

In the special care unit on the third floor, the bed where Dad Shen had been was already empty…

Lu Yan’s mind went blank as she stood by the window, her eyes wide as she stared at the empty room, her blood running cold.

She seemed to have gone mad… and started searching for Shen Kuo in every room.

It must be that Dad Shen had gotten better, yes, surely if he was better, they would transfer him out of the special care unit! They must be in a regular ward, maybe just in the next room…

“Shen Kuo!”

Lu Yan anxiously pushed open the doors of the regular wards, each room revealing unfamiliar faces staring at her in surprise.

Finally, the attending doctor was called over and stopped her behavior. “This is a hospital, keep your voice down.”

Lu Yan didn’t dare ask the doctor. She couldn’t…

She could only search room by room, hoping to find them—hoping that the next room would be the one where Shen Kuo and his father, now awake, would be.

“You must be looking for the boy who was with you today,” the doctor caught up to her. He remembered her.

“The patient in special care unit 308 passed away this afternoon and has already been sent to the morgue.”

Lu Yan froze in her tracks.

Seeing that Lu Yan remained silent, the doctor shook his head. In the hospital, such things were too common. Although sympathetic, there was nothing more he could do. He sighed, “Life and death are beyond our control. For someone suffering from such a cruel illness, him holding on for so many years was already a blessing from above.”

No… it wasn’t a blessing from above. It was Shen Kuo… Shen Kuo couldn’t bear to let go. It was his meticulous care and countless attempts at finding treatment that kept his father alive for so many years!

Her voice trembled as she asked, “W-when?”

“The time of death? It was around three or four in the afternoon.”

Lu Yan leaned against the wall and collapsed to the ground.

At three or four in the afternoon, he called her three times, but she didn’t answer…

Lu Yan clenched her fists, feeling as though she was standing at the edge of a cliff, letting the cold wind from the bottom of the ravine pierce her bones.

The coldness crept in.

He called her at his most desperate moment—three times—but she didn’t answer.

She couldn’t even imagine what Shen Kuo must have felt at that moment. She didn’t dare to imagine… she really couldn’t bear to think about it.

Lu Yan left the hospital, feeling disoriented as she crossed the street and stood in front of the morgue, where a long staircase led up to the solemn dark door.

Her feet felt as though they were weighed down with lead, and she could barely lift them.

She didn’t have the courage to go in.

At this moment, a familiar figure emerged from the morgue—it was Zhong Kai.

He was wearing a black long-sleeve jacket and black pants. He quickly descended the stairs from the morgue, seeming in a hurry, walking briskly out.

Lu Yan quickly turned to leave, but he had already seen her.

“Hey, Little Yan?” He caught up to her, grabbing her arm. “Don’t go.”

Lu Yan didn’t dare look at him, tilting her head and hoarsely asking, “Dad Shen…?”

“Since you’ve been calling him ‘Dad,’ aren’t you going to take a look? He’ll be cremated soon.”

Lu Yan looked up suddenly, in disbelief.

Zhong Kai sighed and said, “Shen Kuo’s wish was to cremate him quickly. After all… his dad had suffered for so many years, it’s better to let him go sooner.”

Lu Yan’s heart was in torment, and several times, the words were on the tip of her tongue but she couldn’t bring herself to speak them. With her head lowered, her eyes were misty.

Zhong Kai could tell what she wanted to ask and said, “He called you this afternoon, but you didn’t answer.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Before Uncle Shen passed, he woke up for about half an hour. It might have been a brief revival. Shen Kuo knew he couldn’t hold on much longer, so he kept holding his hand and talking to him…”

As soon as Zhong Kai finished speaking, Lu Yan finally exhaled a long breath.

Her heart ached like it was being sliced by a knife.

“He was very calm, didn’t cry, but at a time like this, it’s better if you go in and keep him company…”

Before he could finish, Lu Yan rushed into the morgue in a panic.

In the corridor, the tall figure of the young man leaned against the wall. Under the ceiling light, he flicked open a lighter and lit a cigarette.

The stark white light cast shadows over his brows, and his skin appeared unnaturally pale.

Lu Yan’s breath faltered for a moment, and she hesitated, stopping in her tracks.

Suddenly feeling afraid, she didn’t dare to move closer…

It seemed as though he sensed her presence. The young man looked up and glanced at her.

He extinguished the cigarette he had barely smoked and stood up straight to face her.

“You’re here,” he said calmly.

“Dad Shen… Is he in there?”

Shen Kuo turned his body to the side, opening the door.

Lu Yan walked into the empty room with unsteady steps. The room was cold, and she shivered involuntarily. She turned and caught sight of a body covered in a white cloth on the table…

She slowly walked over, hands gripping the cloth, about to lift it to see Dad Shen for the last time, but Shen Kuo grabbed her hand.

“Don’t look, he passed away from illness… it wasn’t peaceful.”

Lu Yan’s hand froze, and her eyes watered again.

“Dad Shen.” She softly called his name, then sniffed, trying to calm herself.

“Dad Shen, please rest assured. I’ll take care of Shen Kuo from now on.” She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and continued, “He’s not alone.”

Shen Kuo took a deep breath, slightly pursed his lips, and didn’t say anything. He held her hand as they walked out of the cold morgue.

Outside the corridor, a staff member came over to ask Shen Kuo to sign something. “Should we proceed with the cremation now?”

“Yes, now.”

The staff member took the paperwork and, with a few other workers, went into the room, wheeling Dad Shen’s body out and heading toward the crematorium, casually gossiping.

“I’ve never seen someone cremated so quickly.”

“I heard it was due to illness. Maybe he was waiting for it…”

“People these days…”

–

Lu Yan nearly exploded in anger at these words, but Shen Kuo grabbed her sleeve, stopping her from rushing forward.

“This world is not kind,” he said calmly. “Why expect more?”

Lu Yan looked at him in shock. His gaze was deep, as if shrouded in an impenetrable fog.

He was unnervingly calm.

“Shen Kuo, this afternoon I…”

Shen Kuo interrupted her. “Lu Yan, when someone dies, they’re gone. There’s nothing left. They can’t hear what you just said, so… just pretend you didn’t say anything.”

Lu Yan’s breath caught in her throat, and she stared at him in shock.

Under the dim white lights, his face was pale, and a strange coldness flickered in his eyes. “Do you understand what I mean?”

“You mean you want to…?”

She couldn’t bring herself to say the heart-wrenching words.

“It’s not a breakup,” Shen Kuo said expressionlessly. “Because we were never together.”

“Wh-what do you mean we were never together?”

He tugged her chin roughly, the corners of his mouth twisting into a faintly mocking smile. “Haven’t you figured it out yet? I was just using you to get back at Lu Zhen, to get back at your family.”

Lu Yan stood there, stunned. “Y-You… what are you saying?”

“Now that he’s dead, I’ll stop. This is your luck, you know?”

Lu Yan struggled to break free from his grip, agitated. “Shen Kuo, do you think I’m stupid? Even if I’m naive, I wouldn’t be foolish enough to believe your words.”

She wasn’t so dumb as to not feel when someone was genuine or fake.

Shen Kuo immediately took out his phone and dialed a number.

“Lu Zhen, it’s Shen Kuo.”

Lu Yan’s heart tightened, not understanding what he was trying to do.

Shen Kuo sneered and continued, “Your sister, Lu Yan, is with me right now…”

“Are you talking nonsense in the middle of the night?” Lu Zhen, woken up from his sleep, sounded irritated. “You must be crazy.”

“Just go check her room, and you’ll know.”

A minute later, Lu Zhen exploded. His voice was shaky on the phone: “She… she’s not in her room! What did you do to her?!”

“What did I do? Took her to bed and then dumped her. What do you think of that idea?”

Before Shen Kuo could say more, Lu Yan snatched the phone from his hand and slammed it to the ground, shouting hoarsely, “Are you insane? The exam is tomorrow! How can you say such things…”

Lu Zhen’s explosive temper was unpredictable. God knows how he would react after hearing this.

Shen Kuo picked up the phone, dusted it off lightly, slipped it into his pocket, and turned to leave. “Wait until you’re an adult, take her to bed and then dump her, that was my original plan… But now, nothing matters anymore.”

Lu Yan felt a chill wash over her, as if she had fallen into an ice-cold abyss. She remembered Liang Ting’s warning…

This man was so deep, so good at pretending. He was the mastermind who had ruined Lu Zhen’s company after ten years of scheming!

He coldly said, “Get lost, don’t show your face in front of me again.”

Lu Yan felt like her heart had been completely hollowed out. She turned and ran out of the morgue.

Shen Kuo closed his eyes, trembling all over… his hand clenching into a fist with all his strength.

He thought she was heartbroken and had left, but unexpectedly, the girl dashed toward him recklessly and tightly hugged his waist.

“I forgive you, Shen Kuo.”

She spoke in a rush, her voice unsteady, full of the sobs she couldn’t hold back. “Tonight, I forgive everything you’ve said and done.”

Shen Kuo suddenly opened his eyes.

The girl held him so tightly that it took away his courage. He couldn’t bring himself to push her away.

“I forgive every lie you’ve told me. If even one of them was true, I would forgive you.”

She looked at him with the last bit of hope and yearning, her eyes filled with tears. “Shen Kuo, was any of it true?”

Shen Kuo paused for a few seconds before coldly replying, “No.”

Not a single word was true.

He yanked her hand away, finger by finger, and then, turning around, roughly wiped the tear stains from her cheek with his calloused thumb.

“You see? This is what I wanted. Your tears…”

He laughed softly. “You love me more than I imagined.”

Lu Yan felt as if cold air was filling her chest, and with every breath, her insides were being torn apart in pain.

It hurt… so much.

“Shen Kuo.” She no longer cried, her voice low and heavy. “You know Dad Shen’s death wasn’t my fault, nor Lu Zhen’s fault. Why are you punishing me…”

Shen Kuo’s heart softened slightly, and he let out a quiet breath.

“Because I’m selfish and malicious. Someone should’ve warned you a long time ago.”

Lu Yan took a few steps back.

He glanced down at the time. “The urn can only be collected in a few days. There’s the exam tomorrow. I’m going back to sleep now.”

He turned to leave, but suddenly, Lu Yan grabbed the corner of his coat.

“If you leave now, I’ll never forgive you. Never.”

Shen Kuo didn’t turn around. He ripped his coat free from her grip and left without a word.

–

When Shen Kuo walked out of the morgue, a light drizzle began to fall from the sky, cold on his face.

It was June, yet it still felt so cold.

Zhong Kai was crouched by the flower bed, standing up as soon as he saw Shen Kuo.

“Did you talk?”

“Mm.”

Zhong Kai looked at the morgue, letting out a long sigh, and handed Shen Kuo a cigarette. “Calm down.”

Shen Kuo took the cigarette, his hand slightly trembling.

“Really, it didn’t have to come to this.”

Zhong Kai glanced at him. “Didn’t you call her this afternoon?”

“She didn’t answer.”

“She stayed up all night for you yesterday. She’s probably exhausted. Why get upset over her not picking up the phone…”

Shen Kuo crushed the cigarette butt, his voice heavy. “I don’t want her to carry that heavy guilt for the rest of her life.”

Zhong Kai looked at him in surprise.

The streetlights cast a dim, shadowy glow on Shen Kuo’s strong, chiseled face.

“If she spent her life with me thinking she had to atone, I’d rather… let her hate me.”

She had no sin, no need for atonement.

At this moment, he was already in hell. If there was any sin, he would bear it all alone.

Shen Kuo stood up and left, his desolate figure disappearing at the end of the wet street.

–

Lu Yan pushed her bicycle back home, her clothes soaked through.

Lu Zhen had changed into his clothes and opened the door, bumping into the ice-cold girl.

Her skin was pale, raindrops hanging from her face, her hair drenched and looking disheveled.

Seeing Lu Zhen, Lu Yan’s eyes reddened, and she rushed into his arms, tightly hugging his waist.

“Dad…”

Lu Zhen had been holding back a surge of anger, but looking at the girl in this sorrowful state, his heart softened immediately.

“It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Although he didn’t know what had happened, Lu Zhen still wrapped her in his arms, gently comforting her back, awkwardly reassuring her, “Dad’s here. The sky won’t fall.”

What kind of person is a father?

A father is someone who can shelter you from the wind and rain, face mountains of knives and seas of fire for you, and is even willing to pick stars from the sky for you.

“I was wrong.”

The girl sobbed, helplessly crying, “Dad, I was wrong. I should’ve listened to you… I’ll listen to you from now on.”

Seeing how out of sorts she was, Lu Zhen’s face darkened more and more. His eyes reddened with fury: “What did Shen Kuo… do to you?”

“He lied to me.”

These three words came out of Lu Yan’s mouth with so much grievance: “I never imagined he would lie to me…”

“I’ll go find him.” Lu Zhen said, already heading for the door, but Lu Yan immediately stopped him.

“Don’t go,” she gritted her teeth and whispered, “Dad Shen passed away today. Don’t go.”

Lu Zhen’s footsteps suddenly halted.

—

The day of the college entrance exam had arrived, as scheduled.

On the day the results were posted, Lu Zhen didn’t go to the company as usual. He anxiously waited by the school’s bulletin board.

At that time, there was no online score-checking. The exam results were handed out by the school, with each student’s score printed clearly on a sheet of paper and posted in front of the bulletin board.

From six o’clock in the morning, the area in front of the bulletin board was packed with anxious parents.

Finally, after much waiting, the teacher who would post the results arrived.

The parents’ eyes lit up, and they hurriedly crowded around, asking the teacher for their children’s scores.

Lu Zhen and Lu Yan didn’t join the crowd. They stood at a distance on a small garden platform.

Lu Yan felt nervous, her palms sweating, while Lu Zhen was unusually calm…

Ever since the college entrance exam, his personality had become much more composed.

Perhaps it was seeing Lu Yan so sad and helpless that night that made him realize that, although she usually behaved like an adult, she was still his little girl.

Or perhaps it was the truth he had learned—the enmity between the Shen and Lu families—that made him realize that if he didn’t grow stronger, he wouldn’t be able to protect the people around him…

Lu Zhen matured at an unimaginable speed.

The teacher greeted the crowd of parents, saying repeatedly, “Don’t crowd, don’t crowd, you’ll all see…”

“Our school did really well this year. The provincial top scorer is from our school!”

Upon hearing this, the students became excited and restless—

“The provincial top scorer? Wow, that’s amazing!”

“Who is it?”

“Who else could it be? You can guess it with your toes… It’s that one…”

The announcement board was finally revealed, and Shen Kuo’s name was bolded and enlarged, clearly at the very top of the red list.

So bright and glaring…

Provincial top scorer. No one else but him.

The students whispered, “He’s really something.”

Of course, the tone carried some sarcasm.

After all… his father had died the day before, and the next day, he went to the exam as if nothing had happened, and still managed to perform so well.

First in the province, provincial top scorer.

What normal person wouldn’t be affected?

The level of cold-bloodedness Shen Kuo displayed was shocking.

Lu Yan looked around but didn’t see the young man’s figure.

He didn’t come… That’s fine.

Lu Yan didn’t want to see him. Not at all… No matter whether Shen Kuo had been sincere or fake with her in the past. At least, she had truly loved him. As long as she had loved him, cared about him, seeing him would make it impossible for her to act calm.

Lu Jian was dressed in a suit and leather shoes, with a dark red tie, seeking a good omen.

He squeezed through a crowd of parents and classmates, desperately trying to move forward.

After much effort, he finally made it to the front row. Lu Jian started searching from the last list posted, carefully counting from back to front…

When he didn’t find Lu Zhen’s name on the last list, Lu Jian let out a heavy sigh of relief.

At least… he must have passed the university entrance exam.

However, he still had little confidence in him. Forget about the top universities, he thought to himself that it would be good enough if his son could get into a second-tier university.

But as he went through the lists one by one, when he got to the first red list, his expression began to change…

It’s impossible. Lu Zhen couldn’t possibly be on this red list. After all, the students on this list were all among the best in the school.

Lu Yan saw that Lu Jian was looking through the red list and excitedly jumped up, pushing through the crowd. “Excuse me, excuse me, thank you!”

She squeezed to Lu Jian’s side, and he quickly protected her in front of him. “Quick, look for your brother, see where he is!”

Lu Jian’s voice was trembling, showing that he was both excited and surprised.

Lu Yan followed the rankings down and, to her amazement, found Lu Zhen in 29th place in the grade!

He scored 632 points!

Lu Yan was very happy and kept waving at Lu Zhen, shouting at the red list, “Big silly, you’re here! Come and have a look!”

Lu Zhen’s eyes lit up for a moment, but he didn’t show much excitement.

He walked over slowly and looked at his score and rank.

“I promised you.”

He stood behind Lu Yan, his hand resting on her shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. “What I promised, I’ll do.”

He wanted to be her pride, her support, and never let anyone bully her again.