Chapter 200: Changing My Mind

After everyone had left, Leng Qing Yu and Lu Chang Qing, along with the three children, stood far off to the side.

They knew that Ye Xin Ran must have many words she wanted to say to Xiao Huai’an.

Ye Xin Ran looked at the lonely grave mound, and an overwhelming sorrow surged within her.

“You must come back. I haven’t even slept with you once, and now you’re gone. I’m at a loss,” she said, her first words breaking with a nasal tone.

Tears uncontrollably streamed down her face.

Ye Xin Ran took out a handkerchief from her chest, vigorously wiping her nose, then continued, “I promised myself that I wouldn’t be interested in men, but somehow, I got myself trapped in it.

It must have been the constant close contact that made me deluded.

It’s probably for the best that you’ve left. Now, I have time to take a break.

I need to think about whether I really like you or not.

There are so many good men in the world, I must have seen too few to end up like this.”

Little Eight, hiding in the nearby bushes, felt an involuntary chill running down his spine as he overheard these words.

After Ye Xin Ran’s injury, he had already anticipated that life wouldn’t be easy for him when he returned. He had originally hoped to over hear a few comforting words from the madam that he could take back to cheer up the master.

But now this.

If he dared to repeat what he overheard to the master, the master might get so angry that he wouldn’t even want to see him.

Little Eight lamented his bad luck in his heart.

He silently prayed for Ye Xin Ran to say a few words expressing her longing for the master.

But instead, Ye Xin Ran continued:

“When we first got married, you said you weren’t capable… At that time, you must have been disgusted with me, right?

And I thought you were a good person…”

“Oh no, oh no, what did I just hear?

The master isn’t capable? If the master finds out that I know this secret, I won’t survive until tomorrow!

I shouldn’t have stayed to eavesdrop.”

Little Eight lay in the grass, regretting his decision.

He wished he could leave immediately.

But Ye Xin Ran kept muttering for a long time.

It wasn’t until the tears on her face had dried up from the wind that she remembered her mother and children were still waiting for her.

She hastily wiped her face, then turned around to gather a few people and head down the mountain.

…

Two days after “Xiao Huai’an” was buried, strangers came to the village.

On the surface, they claimed to want to buy grain from the villagers at high prices.

But secretly, they were inquiring about the fire at the Xiao family’s house and the details surrounding Xiao Huai’an’s death.

On the seventh day, when Ye Xin Ran went up the mountain to burn paper for the deceased, she noticed that the grave mound had been tampered with.

There were traces of new dirt on top of the grave mound.

She kept her expression neutral and instructed Zhang Qian and Ding Qiao to keep an eye on the movements of these people.

It didn’t take long for the village head to also notice that these strangers had impure intentions.

He informed everyone in the village, telling them that if any strangers inquired about the village’s affairs, they should all deny knowing anything.

They were to tell them to come to him instead.

A few days later, the mysterious group suddenly disappeared.

It was unclear whether they left because they couldn’t find anything or because they had obtained the information they were seeking.

Ye Xin Ran could only silently pray, hoping they hadn’t uncovered the secret of Xiao Huai’an’s faked death.

…

Although he was gone, life had to go on.

Another ten days passed, and seeing that her daughter’s mood hadn’t improved, Leng Qing Yu suggested taking her to the capital.

“Xin Ran, Huai’an has been gone for so long. A person who has passed can never come back. You must focus on your own health,” Leng Qing Yu advised.

Ye Xin Ran understood her situation.

Half of her sadness was real, but the other half was an act.

But she couldn’t say that.

“Mother, don’t worry! I’m fine. Even without him, I’ll be okay,” Ye Xin Ran reassured her.

“You say that, but how could you not be sad after Huai’an’s sudden departure?” Leng Qing Yu said. “I was thinking, why don’t you come with me to the capital and leave this place of sorrow behind?

Even just getting away to clear your mind would be good.”

“Mother, I really don’t need a break,” Ye Xin Ran refused. “But have you decided to go back?”

Leng Qing Yu nodded. “Some things can’t be avoided. I’ll have to go back and face them.

I’ve been thinking a lot these past few days, and I’ve learned a lot.

I’ve come to realize that I need to live for myself first, and then think about everything else.”

“Mother!” Ye Xin Ran felt a bit reassured.

“Have you really let go of Lu Ting En?”

“I have!” Leng Qing Yu sneered.

“I won’t be fooled by his sweet words anymore.

Some men are better off dead.

For someone like Lu Ting En, who is two-faced and deceitful, only when his memorial tablet is placed in the ancestral hall will he finally be honest.”

Ye Xin Ran smiled when she heard this, “I’m a bit worried about you going back alone. How about you take Chang Qing with you?”

But Leng Qing Yu replied, “Chang Qing has been spoiled all these years. Although he’s sensible, he’s too naïve.

I’m afraid he’ll be deceived by Lu Ting En if he goes back. Originally, I was thinking of taking you to the capital to clear your mind. But if you don’t want to come with me, I’ll go alone.

The Leng family has stores in the capital, and with them there, Lu Ting En won’t dare do anything to me.”

“Alright!” Ye Xin Ran nodded. “But you must be careful.”

“Mm!” Leng Qing Yu agreed.

The mother and daughter talked for a long time before they went to bed, and it was nearly midnight.

Ye Xin Ran quickly washed up and lay down on the bed.

She had thought she would sleep soundly until morning, but to her surprise, that night was filled with nightmares.

At one point, she dreamed that Xiao Huai’an was truly consumed by the fire, and at another point, she dreamed that Leng Qing Yu was covered in blood, calling out to her for help.

Ye Xin Ran sweated profusely, crying out “No!” as she suddenly sat up.

Outside the window, the stars twinkled, and the moonlight poured into the room, casting a soft glow that made the room half bright and half dark.

Ye Xin Ran breathed heavily.

She wiped her sweat and, after taking a few deep breaths, managed to steady her racing heart.

The scenes from the dream were vivid in her mind.

If the most important person in her life truly met with an accident, she would surely feel just as devastated as she had in the dream.

She couldn’t do nothing.

…

Unable to sleep, Ye Xin Ran leaned against the head of the bed, lost in thought.

When the first rays of sunlight broke through the sky, she finally made up her mind:

She would go to the capital.

There was nothing she could do about the matters on the battlefield.

But she could help Leng Qing Yu.

At least, she had excellent medical skills and a storage space. In times of danger, these might be her lifeline.

Since she had made up her mind, before going to the capital, she needed to arrange everything properly.

The hardest part about leaving was the issue with the three children.

Chang Sheng was still studying at the academy, so that was fine. But what about Chang An and Chang Ping?

The village wasn’t safe.

Ye Xin Ran thought long and hard before finally coming up with a suitable place.