I Rely on the Gossip System to Fake Being a Master [90s]
I Rely on the Gossip System to Fake Being a Master [90s] Chapter 50: The Fiftieth Melon (Part 1)

Gu Xicao glanced over in speechless silence, covering her mouth and coughing lightly.

The house was only the size of a palm; even whispered conversations couldn’t avoid being overheard.

The neighbor was thick-skinned, showing no embarrassment at all. Instead, he patted Zhang San’s shoulder with a righteous air. “Ah San, don’t blame your Uncle Ma for meddling. Earning money isn’t easy, especially when you’re supporting your brother and his family. You probably don’t even have much for yourself. Think this through. Uncle Ma has lived long enough not to fool you. How much did you spend hiring this so-called master?”

They weren’t even bothering to keep their voices down anymore.

The corners of Gu Xicao’s mouth twitched.

Zhang San gave her an apologetic smile before responding to the neighbor, “Uncle Ma, she only charges 188 yuan. If it’s a scam, she wouldn’t charge so little, right? Anyway, I won’t argue with you. I’m going with the master.”

Hearing it was only 188 yuan made Uncle Ma even more skeptical. After a moment of thought, he said, “How about this? I’ll go with you to check it out. Would that be alright, Master?”

He turned to Gu Xicao.

She shrugged indifferently. “If you want to come, go ahead.”

Wang Laoshi, who had been pretending to help pick up the scattered items, was actually creating a distraction. His eyes darted toward the doorway.

The sister-in-law was seething as she picked up a spilled container of salt. She glared at Wang Laoshi and said coldly, “Mister, you don’t need to help anymore. Our family is poor; we can’t afford your kind of help.”

Awkwardly straightening up, Wang Laoshi saw Gu Xicao and the others return and let out a sigh of relief. He quickly walked over to meet them. “You’re finally back.”

“Uncle Ma, why are you here too?” Zhang Yi, lying on the bed, looked surprised to see the neighbor tagging along with Zhang San and the others.

Uncle Ma chuckled. “I heard Ah San hired a master to help you, so I came to check it out. How’s your health, Ah Yi? Still no improvement?”

Zhang Yi sighed, his face filled with defeat. “Same as always. I’ve already told Ah San not to waste money on doctors, but he doesn’t listen. Now he’s even hired a master.”

“Ah San is just loyal and kind-hearted,” Uncle Ma said with a sigh.

Gu Xicao took the kettle from Zhang San’s hands and said meaningfully, “In times like these, it’s the kind-hearted who end up getting exploited.”

Both Uncle Ma and Zhang Yi’s wife froze, staring at her in surprise.

Uncle Ma rubbed his chin, muttering to himself. What kind of scammer suddenly came out with a comment like that?

“Master, why would you say such a thing all of a sudden?” Zhang San asked in confusion.

Gu Xicao waved her hand dismissively. “Just speaking from the heart. By the way, this water is really hot. If it spills, it could seriously scald someone.”

As she spoke, she carried the kettle over to the bunk bed.

Uncle Ma grew increasingly puzzled. What hot water? The kettle clearly contained cold water.

Before he could say anything, Gu Xicao tipped the kettle and poured water directly onto Zhang Yi’s legs.

The subtropical monsoon climate of Hong Kong made September still hot. Even though Zhang Yi was supposedly paralyzed, he was only covered with a thin blanket—one that would soon need to be stored away when the weather cooled.

The sister-in-law screamed as she saw what Gu Xicao was doing.

Zhang Yi, on the other hand, reacted like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, leaping off the bed instantly. But the height of the bunk bed was limited; his head hit the upper bunk with a loud thud before he fell back down.

“What are you doing?! Pouring hot water on my husband—are you trying to kill him?”

The sister-in-law rushed forward, snatching the kettle from Gu Xicao’s hands. She glared at her fiercely before turning on Zhang San with anger. “Ah San, we’ve never meddled in your business outside, but now you bring this lunatic into our house to cause trouble? Have you lost your mind?”

“Yeah! Are you trying to burn me to death?” Zhang Yi frantically rolled up his pant legs. But instead of burns, his thighs only had a few drops of water on them, with no signs of scalding.

The room fell into dead silence.

The only sounds came from two children running into the room with their ice cream, oblivious to the tense atmosphere. They ran up to Zhang San, tugging on his sleeve. “Uncle, we want to buy some cola too. Can you give us money?”

Zhang San shook off their hands, his fists clenched tightly as he stared intently at Zhang Yi’s legs. “Big Brother, you’re supposed to be paralyzed. How did you just jump up like that?”

Uncle Ma finally snapped out of his daze, his eyes wide with disbelief. “Exactly! Ah Yi, how could you jump so high just now and still be able to move? What’s going on here?”

Even the children, sensing something was wrong, fell silent.

Sweat beaded on Zhang Yi’s forehead. “Ah San, let me explain. It must have been some kind of sudden stimulation just now. That’s why I could move. Yes, it must be the master’s doing—her skills worked!”

He shot his wife a desperate look.

She quickly played along, slapping her thigh dramatically. “That’s right! It must be the master’s work. Who would’ve thought someone so young could be so capable?”

Wang Laoshi could only roll his eyes at the theatrics.

Unfazed, Gu Xicao withdrew her hand and smiled faintly. “You flatter me. But let’s not kid ourselves—I don’t have that kind of supernatural ability. You two, however, are quite impressive. One managed to fake paralysis and lie in bed for three years, while the other shamelessly helped him deceive his brother. Truly a match made in heaven.”

“Was Big Brother’s paralysis all fake?”

Zhang San’s breathing quickened. His blood surged to his head, his temples pounding as anger overwhelmed him.

Uncle Ma couldn’t believe it either. “No way! Who could lie in bed for three whole years without moving?”

“Don’t believe me? Go ahead and pinch his legs. If he were truly paralyzed, his legs would be limp like cotton. But if his muscles are firm, then he’s perfectly healthy.”

Zhang San wasted no time. He pushed past his sister-in-law and grabbed Zhang Yi’s leg, squeezing it hard. Sure enough, the muscles were firm and toned.

Zhang San’s eyelid twitched violently. Clenching his jaw, he growled, “You lied to me. You all lied to me. Fine. So I’m just a gullible fool to you, huh?”

“Ah San, we—we had our reasons! Let me explain!” Zhang Yi stammered, his usual bravado evaporating in the face of his furious younger brother.

But Zhang San, shaking with rage, merely laughed coldly. “Fine. Go ahead and explain. Tell me what could possibly justify you pretending to be paralyzed for three years. And if your explanation doesn’t satisfy me, don’t blame me for being ruthless!”

Zhang Yi swallowed hard, sweat dripping down his face. “I—I…”

Zhang Yi frantically signaled his wife with his eyes.

But his wife was even more timid than him and dared not say a word.

Gu Xicao, ever so considerate, offered to explain. “Let me help you out. Three years ago, after you fought with your younger brother and felt humiliated, you decided to fake an illness to get back at him. But then you realized that pretending to be paralyzed made Zhang San feel guilty enough to provide for your entire family. Once you got a taste of that, you and your wife decided to fully commit to the act. By pretending to be completely paralyzed, neither of you had to work, and Zhang San ended up supporting not only you two but also your children. In doing so, you deceived him for three whole years.”

Gu Xicao’s words made Zhang Yi and his wife go pale.

Zhang Yi’s lips trembled as he stammered, “How… how do you know that?”

“No, no, it’s not true.” But as soon as Zhang Yi finished speaking, he caught Zhang San’s menacing glare. A chill ran down his back, and he quickly tried to change his story, waving his hands nervously. “I mean… we’re close to Ah San…”

Before he could finish his excuse, Zhang San’s fist landed squarely on his face.

At first, Zhang Yi simply covered his head, enduring the blows since he knew he was in the wrong. But as Zhang San’s punches continued and showed no signs of stopping, he started fighting back.

The worst part about public housing was its poor soundproofing. In a space barely 10 square meters, even the smallest noise traveled far, let alone the ruckus of two brothers brawling.

The commotion quickly attracted the neighbors, who initially rushed over to break up the fight. But once the brothers were pulled apart, someone noticed something odd.

“Wait a second—wasn’t Zhang Yi supposed to be paralyzed for three years? How is he up and fighting now?”

“That’s a good question. I can explain.”

Uncle Ma, always the helpful one, wasted no time recounting everything that had just transpired.

When the neighbors learned that Zhang Yi had pretended to be paralyzed for three years just to exploit his younger brother, they couldn’t help but feel indignant on Zhang San’s behalf.

“Pretending to be sick for three years? Is he even human? Poor Ah San worked day and night to support him,” an elderly woman shook her head in sympathy.

“Exactly. People used to criticize Ah San for being too rough, blaming him for his brother’s ‘paralysis.’ Who knew how much he’s suffered these past three years,” Uncle Ma added sympathetically.

Hearing these words, Zhang San was overwhelmed with a mix of emotions. The grievances, guilt, and resentment he had buried over the years all came rushing to the surface. His eyes reddened as he pointed a trembling finger at Zhang Yi. “Good for you! From now on, we’re no longer brothers. I’ll hire a lawyer and sue you—just wait!”

Dreamy Land[Translator]

Hey everyone! I hope you're enjoying what I'm translating. As an unemployed adult with way too much time on my hands and a borderline unhealthy obsession with novels, I’m here to share one of my all-time favorites. So, sit back, relax, and let's dive into this story together—because I’ve got nothing better to do!

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