44. No Turning Back

If it weren’t for Dan Hang’s inquiry, Yu Yue might not have even realized.

Originally, Yu Yue intended to divert the conversation by using another picture of Xiao Yu’er.

Unexpectedly, Dan Hang sent another message, “Share a photo of the little cat with its owner. The owner will probably be delighted to see it, and afterward, you have to remember to send pictures every day.”

Yu Yue had never had someone take care of a pet for him, but upon hearing Dan Hang’s suggestion, he thought it made sense. If the owner saw their cat eating and sleeping well every day, they would likely be happy.

So, Yu Yue sent the photos he had just taken to Xu Yuanzhe.

After sending the pictures, Yu Yue released Xiao Yu’er and lay down on the sofa, preparing to scroll through his phone.

Unexpectedly, Xu Yuanzhe replied.

Yu Yue opened WeChat.

Xu Yuanzhe replied, “It really likes you.”

Yu Yue was momentarily stunned.

He asked Xu Yuanzhe, “Haven’t you taken off yet?”

Xu Yuanzhe replied, “It’s snowing, and the flight is delayed.”

Yu Yue didn’t reply.

He turned his head to look at Xiao Yu’er scratching the carpet underneath the sofa. After watching for a long time, he still felt a sense of familiarity, and a faint thought emerged in his mind, something he didn’t dare to think about.

Yu Yue retracted his gaze, looking down at his phone.

After a while of silence, he typed a message, “Is this cat the stray cat from downstairs in our old home?”

Xu Yuanzhe responded quickly, “Yes.”

Yu Yue’s fingers paused on the phone keyboard.

In the past, the stray cat downstairs was often fed by both Yu Yue and Xu Yuanzhe. Later, when Yu Yue left, he never expected that Xu Yuanzhe would adopt the stray cat and bring it home.

Xiao Yu’er rolled around on the carpet.

Yu Yue ultimately did not reply to any more of Xu Yuanzhe’s messages.

He sat up, took out the USB drive Xu Yuanzhe had given him, plugged it into his computer, and connected the computer to the TV. He opened the folder on the USB drive.

Inside were all the movies Xu Yuanzhe had acted in, even clearly marked with dates and roles.

Yu Yue clicked on the earliest film Xu Yuanzhe had acted in, “Morning Clouds,” seemingly a suspense film.

He turned off the lights in the living room, leaving only the flickering light of the TV.

Not long after, Xiao Yu’er also jumped onto the sofa, squatting beside Yu Yue, staring at the TV.

Yu Yue reached out and touched its head.

The drama “Morning Clouds,” whether in terms of filming techniques or storyline, is quite cliché and ordinary. After watching for more than an hour, Yu Yue only remembered a few scenes related to Xu Yuanzhe.

Yu Yue didn’t know when he fell asleep.

When he woke up again, the living room was quiet, and Xiao Yu seemed to have disappeared somewhere. The whole house was silent, with only the movie on the TV playing repeatedly. The flickering light made it feel unusually empty.

Yu Yue sat up and glanced at the time on his phone; it was 3 AM.

He had just had a dream, but upon waking up, Yu Yue couldn’t recall the content. He only felt that the dream was like a tide, sweeping over him, making it hard to breathe, as if he were suffocating.

He just felt a sudden urge to call Xu Yuanzhe.

He didn’t know what to say.

Xu Yuanzhe should be on the plane by now.

So, Yu Yue made the call, assuming Xu Yuanzhe wouldn’t answer.

That would be fine.

When Xu Yuanzhe landed, he could call Yu Yue back, and Yu Yue could just say he dialed the wrong number.

Yu Yue picked up his phone, opened WeChat, and actually dialed a voice call to Xu Yuanzhe.

However, Yu Yue didn’t expect the call to connect.

When the call was answered, and he heard the faint breathing on the other end, Yu Yue even momentarily doubted whether he had dialed the wrong number. However, after a few seconds of silence, Xu Yuanzhe’s voice came through.

His voice was low and somewhat hoarse, “It’s so late; why haven’t you slept yet?”

Yu Yue held the phone, silent, not uttering a word.

Xu Yuanzhe’s movie was still playing on the TV, but Yu Yue stared at it, feeling that his vision wasn’t so clear, gradually becoming somewhat blurry.

His voice was soft as he asked Xu Yuanzhe, “Is the flight still delayed?”

Xu Yuanzhe responded with a low, somewhat hoarse “Mm,” sounding as if he had just been awakened by the phone’s ringtone, with a hint of huskiness, “I’ve checked into a hotel near the airport. It’s heavily snowing, and I might not be able to depart until early tomorrow.”

Yu Yue remained silent.

After a while, he gripped the phone tighter, his voice so light that he could hardly hear it himself, “I want to ask you a question.”

Xu Yuanzhe didn’t answer, waiting for Yu Yue to speak.

Yu Yue lowered his gaze, holding the phone, looking at the tips of his shoes, “If I say I’m no longer the old Yu Yue, not the Yu Yue who could always bring sunshine to you, would you still like me?”

Without waiting for Xu Yuanzhe to respond, Yu Yue continued, “If being with me means you’d lose everything you have now, would you still want to be with me?”

There was a long silence on the other end of the phone.

When Xu Yuanzhe spoke, his voice was low, still carrying a slight huskiness, “Since I was eighteen, my feelings haven’t changed. I will always love you, and… nothing is more important than you. What you look like, whether you’ve changed or not, doesn’t matter to me. I just hope that person is you.” There was a slight pause, “As for everything I have now, if I have to choose between those and you, I would choose you without hesitation.”

Yu Yue raised his eyes, looking at the movie playing on the TV.

His voice was soft, with a sudden choke, “I haven’t figured it out yet…”

“Haven’t figured it out? Let’s give it a try.” Xu Yuanzhe said on the phone, “Try it, like we did at the beginning. If it doesn’t work, we can part ways.”

Yu Yue didn’t say anything more.

He raised his hand, gently pressing his palm against his eyes, and tears finally flowed uncontrollably.

Xu Yuanzhe’s voice was low, “Come to Italy with me.”

Yu Yue still didn’t speak.

Xu Yuanzhe continued, “Take it slow. We have plenty of time. Regardless of whether it’s suitable or not, regardless of whether it’s like it used to be, we have to try it to know, don’t we?”

After a long while, Yu Yue finally spoke.

His voice still carried a heavy nasal tone, “What about Xiao Yu?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment.

Xu Yuanzhe said, “I’ll have Zhou Ling pick it up from your place.”

Yu Yue: “Isn’t she allergic to cat fur?”

Xu Yuanzhe: “I lied to you.”

Yu Yue: “…”

He remained silent, lightly sniffed, held the phone, ignored the lie Xu Yuanzhe just told, and looked at the carpet in front of him for a while before saying, “I had a dream, a dream where you… were gone, don’t know why, but you just weren’t there anymore. At that moment, I felt like if you were to die like that, the thing I would regret most in my life would definitely be…”

It would definitely be the five years of separation from Xu Yuanzhe.

It would definitely be the useless entanglements from a few days ago.

It would definitely be not loving again without reservations.

It would definitely be not saying those words to him.

“I love you.”

Without hearing Yu Yue finish his sentence, Xu Yuanzhe waited quietly on the other end of the phone.

But after a long time, Yu Yue didn’t say anything more. He just lowered his head, as if he smiled to himself, with a nasal tone, very lightly said, “Why am I so fond of you, Xu Yuanzhe?”

For him, he always wanted to be reckless once more.

On the other end of the phone was the hotel at three in the morning.

Snow was falling outside the window.

Xu Yuanzhe held the phone, lying on the bed, without answering or saying anything.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to answer, nor that he didn’t want to speak.

It was just that he couldn’t find the words.

Xu Yuanzhe gently closed his eyes, raised his hand, covering his eyebrows, pressing down on his burning eyes. He lay on the bed without moving, but after a long time, tears still slid down from the corners of his eyes.

The tears were scalding, almost burning his fingertips.

Ten years for Xu Yuanzhe, ten years for Yu Yue, intersected and then separated. After the separation, they each walked a long, long way. Now, the trajectories of the planets were finally about to intersect once again.

Shouldn’t they celebrate it together? He really wanted to post more.

TN:

Well finally!