CHAPTER 4

Why such a strong reaction to “not liking”…?

Shi Li stared at the skyrocketing hatred value, cold sweat forming on her back, yet she vaguely sensed a possible strategy to navigate this situation.

However, now was not the time to dwell on that. Hatred value at 200%… Would he throw her out on the spot out of sheer resentment?

Wiping the sweat from her forehead, Shi Li felt a headache coming on.

Shen Jingyan had already put down the cotton ball in his hand. His originally pale face had taken on a faint bluish tint, his eyes dark with an unfathomable intensity, like a relentless executioner ready to claim a life.

Shi Li silently scooted away from him, then, after a brief pause, forced herself to salvage the situation. “I was just asking casually. You’re not going to take it to heart… right?”

“Of course.” Shen Jingyan glanced at her calmly, tossing the alcohol-soaked cotton ball into the trash. After a long silence, he finally spoke, his voice slow and deliberate. “After all, you’ve always been so casual.”

Male Lead Hatred Value: 210%

“So casual that you treat people like dogs for your amusement, finding disgust entertaining.” Shen Jingyan’s lips curved into a mocking smile. “No one knows better than me just how casual you are.”

Male Lead Hatred Value: 220%

Watching the hatred value jump up by ten points at a time, Shi Li’s heart pounded. Seeing that he was about to continue, she hurriedly interrupted, “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry.”

Shen Jingyan remained expressionless.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 230%

Shi Li: “…” She had already apologized, and it still wasn’t enough?!

This time, she didn’t dare say another word. She simply stared at Shen Jingyan’s eyes pitifully, relieved when the hatred value stopped at 230%. Strangely enough, she even felt that this was… acceptable.

After what felt like an eternity, Shen Jingyan lowered his gaze and said indifferently, “The medicine is applied. You can leave now.”

“…Alright.” Shi Li answered carefully, dragging her feet toward the door. As she reached the threshold, she hesitated, glancing back at him.

Noticing the dark circles under his eyes and his slightly malnourished complexion, she hesitated before speaking. “You should eat more.”

Shen Jingyan froze, his gaze shifting toward her expressionlessly.

His stare alone was enough to make Shi Li’s heart leap into her throat. When she noticed that the hatred value didn’t increase, she awkwardly added, “Only with proper nutrition can your health improve. If you don’t like the meals from the kitchen, I can cook for you.”

Back then, the first step in breaking through Shen Jingyan’s defenses was winning over his stomach. She wasn’t a great cook, but because of his illness, his diet had always been plain and limited, making her homemade meals seem especially appealing to him.

However, he clearly disliked reminiscing about the past. The moment she mentioned cooking for him, the hatred value jumped another ten points.

Shi Li forced a laugh and turned to escape this battlefield.

“Stop.”

Shen Jingyan’s cold voice rang out behind her.

Shi Li froze, then turned back with an innocent look. “What is it?”

“Are you planning to go out like that?” Shen Jingyan asked, his expression unreadable.

Shi Li blinked and followed his gaze downward—

She was only wearing a nightgown. A silk one at that. The smooth, lightweight fabric draped against her body, outlining her figure completely. Worse, she wasn’t wearing anything underneath, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Silently, Shi Li wrapped her arms around her chest. Her long, bare legs instinctively pressed together, her entire posture radiating embarrassment.

After a brief, awkward silence, she hesitantly asked, “Can I borrow a throw pillow?”

Shen Jingyan didn’t respond. Instead, he turned and walked back into his room.

Ten minutes later, Shi Li emerged from his room, wearing a new set of pajamas and clutching a throw pillow against her chest. Finally, she made it back to her single dorm room in one piece.

The moment she stepped inside, she locked the door, collapsed onto her bed, and let out a long breath.

She replayed everything that had happened tonight, analyzing it from every angle. In the end, she concluded that she had to face the past head-on. Only by restoring their relationship to what it once was could she make him let go of his hatred.

With a plan forming in her mind, her eyelids grew heavier, and before long, she drifted into a deep sleep.

Despite the thoughts weighing on her heart, she woke up at six in the morning and couldn’t fall back asleep. The air conditioning from the night before had left her with a dull headache.

She changed into her old sleepwear, neatly folded the set Shen Jingyan had lent her, and carried it over to his place.

It was barely past six. Though the sky was bright, the sun had yet to rise. The summer morning air carried a rare trace of coolness.

Shi Li walked leisurely along the path, enjoying the moment of peace.

Since it was still early, most people hadn’t started work yet. She reached Shen Jingyan’s room without issue. Initially, she had planned to stand outside for two hours, waiting for him to come out and—hopefully—be moved by the sight of her.

But just as she settled in, she heard a faint cough from inside. Unable to resist, she knocked on the door.

Shen Jingyan likely didn’t expect her to come at this hour. He probably assumed it was someone else. After a brief pause, he spoke in a deep voice. “Come in.”

Standing at the door, Shi Li took a deep breath before opening it.

As she stepped inside, she saw Shen Jingyan sitting on the large bed, his head lowered as he coughed. His slender fingers lightly covered his lips, and a faint blush tinged his otherwise pale cheeks, making him look incredibly fragile.

Shi Li cautiously stepped closer. Before she even reached him, she noticed his body tensing. In that instant, she understood—he had realized it was her.

Her pace quickened, and when she reached him, she gently patted his back.

Shen Jingyan’s body grew even more rigid. Finally, he couldn’t hold back and raised his head to look at her.

“What are you doing here?”

Male Lead Hatred Value: 150%

Shi Li had noticed something—the sudden spikes in hatred value tended to drop just as suddenly. They weren’t as difficult to decrease as the original baseline value.

Seeing the hostility in his gaze, she sighed. “I came to return your sleepwear.”

As she spoke, she placed the neatly folded set on the bed.

Shen Jingyan stared at the clothes, his brows slightly furrowing. After a long pause, he finally lifted his gaze, his expression cold. “Just returning one set?”

“…If I returned two, I’d be naked,” Shi Li said innocently. “That wouldn’t be a pleasant sight. What if I ended up corrupting some innocent children?”

A flicker of displeasure crossed Shen Jingyan’s eyes. After a moment, he seemed to find the topic improper and didn’t press further.

Shi Li’s lips curled into a smile, but remembering that he disliked her smiling, she quickly composed herself.

Shen Jingyan’s breathing gradually steadied, though his lips were slightly dry. Just as the thought of drinking water crossed his mind, a cup was placed in front of him.

His face darkened. “Do you have nothing better to do?”

“…Don’t you want some water?” Shi Li frowned.

Expressionless, Shen Jingyan replied, “No. Get out.”

“…Oh.” Shi Li’s mouth twitched slightly. After setting down the cup, she hesitated for a moment before leaving. She had spent less than ten minutes in his room and stepped out just as the clock struck 6:30. 

There was still an hour and a half before everyone else had to start work. Shi Li didn’t want to waste such a good opportunity, so she headed straight to the kitchen. The Shen family had strict household rules, and outside of designated meal times, the main kitchen remained unused. However, there were some considerate exceptions—such as a refrigerator designated for the household staff, regularly stocked with ingredients for those who didn’t have time to eat. 

Shi Li hadn’t known about this before. She had only overheard it by chance the night before, so she wasn’t entirely sure if it was true. Fortunately, a note on the refrigerator confirmed it. As soon as she entered the kitchen, she found what she was looking for. 

By this time, the kitchen staff had already started their work. They seemed accustomed to people coming in for food, merely glancing at her before minding their own tasks. Relieved, Shi Li took out some ingredients from the refrigerator and began cooking using a small gas stove tucked in the corner.

The ingredients were all pre-prepared—no washing, no picking, just a bit of chopping—so she cooked quickly. In just twenty minutes, she had finished two dishes. Looking at the vibrant and aromatic stir-fried beef with green peppers and tomato scrambled eggs, she shook her hands with satisfaction, then went to scoop a bowl of freshly simmered millet porridge from the kitchen. Carrying the tray, she headed to Shen Jingyan’s residence.

When she returned to his bedroom, Shen Jingyan had just finished changing. The moment he saw what she was carrying, his face darkened instantly, and a storm brewed in his eyes.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 170%

Seeing his expression, Shi Li had a bad feeling. She stood there nervously but didn’t turn to leave. Instead, she braced herself and spoke, “Um… I just made these dishes. Try them and see how they taste. If you like them, I can cook for you every day.”

Shen Jingyan had already walked up to her. After a long silence, he finally spoke with a deep, cold voice, “Every day? After all these years, you still haven’t learned—don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

Male Lead Hatred Value: 190%

The hatred value shot up so fast that Shi Li’s legs nearly gave out. But this time, she didn’t choose to run away. Instead, she faced the storm head-on. “I broke my promise before, but trust me, I won’t make the same mistake agai—”

Before she could finish, he knocked over the tray in her hands. The bowls and plates crashed onto the floor, the dishes splattered like mud, and the millet porridge splashed everywhere, instantly ruining the once-clean and tidy floor.

The room fell into dead silence.

After who knows how long, Shi Li finally looked at the mess on the floor and murmured, “If you didn’t want to eat, you could’ve just said so. Why waste food like this…”

“Spare me your fake kindness. I’m not the naive kid you used to fool so easily,” Shen Jingyan’s voice was laced with cruel indifference. “If you keep pulling these useless tricks, get out of the Shen estate.”

Shi Li pressed her lips together, lowered her head, and silently walked toward the door. But just as she reached it, she suddenly stopped and looked at him with an eerily calm expression. “Leaving you when you needed me—that was my fault. But for the two years before I left, whether I ever deceived you… you know the answer better than anyone.”

With that, she turned and walked away without looking back.

Shen Jingyan stood there like a statue, unmoving. It wasn’t until the butler’s startled voice reached his ears that he showed a slight reaction.

“Mr. Shen, this…” The butler hesitated.

Shen Jingyan spoke coldly, “Get someone to clean it up.”

“…Understood.”

Meanwhile, Shi Li returned to her dormitory, took off her porridge-stained clothes, showered, and collapsed onto her bed. Shen Jingyan had seemed absolutely furious, but she wasn’t too worried. If anything, she was now even more certain—he had never truly let go of her.

With her clothes still drying, she had nowhere to go, so she decided to nap. But as she drifted into sleep, she found herself struggling to wake up several times, unable to open her eyes. It wasn’t until a knock on the door sounded that she finally forced herself into wakefulness.

“Shi Li, are you there?” A female voice called out.

Shi Li responded instinctively, only to be startled by how hoarse her voice sounded. She cleared her throat before answering, “I’m here.”

“Mr. Shen wants you to go water the garden. Go now.”

Shi Li pressed her throbbing temples. “Okay.”

She listened as the woman’s footsteps faded into the distance, then lazily lay back down, resting for a while longer before attempting to get up. However, the moment her feet touched the ground, a wave of dizziness washed over her.

…If she still didn’t realize she was sick, she’d have to be a complete idiot.

She collapsed back onto the bed, closing her eyes to suppress the nausea, planning to rest a little before heading to the garden. But before she knew it, she had fallen asleep again.

This time, her sleep was restless. Her body fluctuated between hot and cold, leaving her in constant discomfort. Her brows furrowed tightly, her cheeks flushed unnaturally red, and she seemed trapped in a feverish daze, unable to escape.

Just as she struggled to wake up, a cool sensation touched her forehead. She jolted awake, momentarily stunned to see Shen Jingyan.

Shen Jingyan seemed equally surprised that she had woken up at that moment. He quickly withdrew his hand as if he had been electrocuted, his expression turning grim. “Are you faking this?”

“…Huh?” Shi Li, still feverish and groggy, could barely comprehend his words.

Shen Jingyan straightened, looking down at her with an impassive gaze. “Going this far just to avoid work? You really are something.”

Shi Li: “…” Did he seriously think she was pretending to be sick?

“The doctor is on the way. Get dressed,” Shen Jingyan ordered with a frown.

Shi Li paused for a moment, then glanced down. Sure enough, where the blanket didn’t cover, her fair skin was exposed.

Shi Li: “…” Whatever. She was used to it by now.

She pulled the blanket up to cover herself and made a move to get her clothes. But as she met Shen Jingyan’s impatient gaze, a rebellious thought surfaced. She shut her eyes and refused to move.

Shen Jingyan’s expression darkened. “What are you trying to do?”

“Tell the doctor to leave, Mr. Shen. I can’t afford a doctor’s visit,” Shi Li said hoarsely.

A frigid aura immediately emanated from Shen Jingyan. “Get up.”

“No.” She opened her eyes and stared straight at him.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 190%

It hadn’t gone up. She could still push a little more.

Taking a deep breath, she let her eyes redden slightly and murmured, “You don’t need to care. If I die, I die—it’s just karma for what I did to you.”

“If you want to die, do it somewhere else. Don’t dirty my place,” Shen Jingyan said expressionlessly.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 180%

Shi Li fell silent for a moment before whispering, “I’ll die right here.”

Shen Jingyan’s eyelid twitched.

“Because apart from being by your side, I have nowhere else to go,” she continued softly, her clear eyes locked onto his. “But don’t worry, I won’t cause trouble for you. I’ll write a note stating I refused treatment of my own will.”

With that, she wrapped herself in the blanket and started searching for paper and pen. As she moved, her back was exposed, her pale skin almost blinding to look at.

Shen Jingyan lost his patience and threw her back onto the bed, his breathing uneven from anger. “The Shen family will cover your medical expenses.”

Shi Li, already burning with fever, felt dizzy from the sudden movement, but she still held firm. “No need. I refuse treatment.”

“…It’s just a fever, and you’re already talking about refusing treatment?” A vein throbbed at Shen Jingyan’s temple.

Hearing the irritation in his tone, Shi Li hesitated before sneaking a glance at his hatred value.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 160%

…Huh? Her expression turned subtly intrigued.

“You can dress yourself, or I’ll call someone to do it for you. Your choice,” Shen Jingyan said coldly. “I suggest you choose wisely.”

Shi Li reached out toward him, as if asking for a hug. “You dress me.”

Shen Jingyan choked on his words, almost losing his breath.

Male Lead Hatred Value: 150%

Shi Li: “…” So this is what he likes?