Chapter 40: It’s Not That I Don’t Want To, But I’m Powerless

Shen Yu was very capable. As a fellow trainee, Ji Laili was happy for him.

Looking at it from another perspective, Ji Laili couldn’t help but ask, “Are you feeling unwell?”

There were many Alphas here, and he was genuinely worried that Shen Yu might be uncomfortable.

Shen Yu saw the concern in his eyes. The pleasant emotion climbed like vines to his heart, spreading wildly to his gaze.

“It hurts.”

He told him this, and sure enough, he saw the worry in Ji Laili’s eyes deepen.

When he wasn’t smiling, his round puppy-like eyes reflected only Shen Yu’s figure—an undivided attention that made the corners of Shen Yu’s lips subtly rise.

“If it hurts, why are you still here? Are you asking for trouble?” Ji Laili muttered in dissatisfaction.

Yet, deep down, he understood that Shen Yu must have had an important reason to ignore his physical condition and come here as an acting instructor.

“Are you angry?”

It was the question Ji Laili had glossed over earlier. Shen Yu was truly perceptive. “Because I didn’t stay obediently in my dorm, right?”

His tone was cold, chillingly so, yet he used the word ‘obediently.’ His lashes lowered.

For some reason, Ji Laili actually saw a trace of obedience in him.

It was really because of Shen Yu’s posture—it looked a lot like he was admitting fault.

Thinking this, Ji Laili asked, and in response, Shen Yu silently stared at him—focused, unwavering. “Not obvious enough?”

R—Really?

Ji Laili’s eyes widened in surprise.

Kind of cute, Shen Yu thought.

Then he furrowed his brows. Could an Alpha be described as cute? He glanced at the freshmen not far away before retracting his gaze and looking at Ji Laili again.

“I wanted to see you.”

“The susceptible period is difficult to endure, but seeing you makes it better.”

“You were the one who said that if I wasn’t feeling well, I should go to the medical room. But you’re more effective than the medical room.”

The sudden blunt confession made Ji Laili’s ears burn, his cheeks heat up, and his gaze waver as he reached out to ruffle Shen Yu’s soft curls.

The fluffy chestnut-colored curls fluffed up again. Shen Yu’s fingertips played with a strand but didn’t move away, his gaze cold yet damp.

And then, he fixated on those curls.

Ji Laili snapped back to reality as the system’s blackening value dropped. He pursed his lips before finally smiling, following his heart’s desire.

His ears and face were burning. With his right hand resting on the back of his head, he grinned brightly and confidently.

“So, does this count as a surprise? Honestly, seeing you, Senior Shen, makes me happy too.”

This time, it was Shen Yu’s turn to be dazed, his lips pressing together in slight discomfort.

“No matter the reason, I’ll take it as a surprise… Ahem, though I don’t know why I’m more effective than the medical room, you said it, so I’ll believe it!”

“I’ll help you!”

Thinking about it carefully, appearing openly was definitely better than sneaking around.

If that little butterfly in the shadows kept watching him, Ji Laili thought, he wouldn’t be able to focus. He would keep wondering where Shen Yu was.

That little butterfly was really good at hiding.

And in his current state, it was hard not to worry.

So why not, like now, let him stay right under his nose—where he could see him at a glance?

Thinking this way, it was actually a good thing. Did he even have a valid reason to be angry anymore?

“System, don’t you also think it’s more reassuring to have someone in your line of sight?”

Ji Laili sought the system’s agreement.

The system: …

It felt like something was off, but it couldn’t pinpoint what, so it just went along with him.

【That is indeed the case.】

As expected, even the system thought so. Since it was here to save Shen Yu, and it agreed, Ji Laili immediately stopped being angry, happily pacifying himself.

And there was one more thing…

“Just seeing me makes you feel better? Can you be more specific?”

The words sounded ambiguous, easily misunderstood, but Ji Laili was genuinely contemplating—what exactly about him made Shen Yu feel better?

Shen Yu’s gaze flickered slightly.

He quickly noticed the young Alpha’s concern for him—perhaps even a trace of indulgence.

This realization eroded his rationality.

The darkness in his heart expanded endlessly, uncontrollably surfacing and corroding his thoughts.

Ji Laili spoke first, didn’t he?

He said he would help me.

He wants to make me feel better. Then why not tell him?

These things—they would indeed make him feel much better, wouldn’t they?

His pitch-black pupils swirled with hidden undercurrents, revealing a possessiveness so intense it was terrifying, like a greedy serpent about to lose control.

“Your pheromones.”

“I want your pheromones.”

He was supposed to hate Alphas—disgust them, humiliate them, stay away from them.

Just like a few days ago, suppressing something he shouldn’t have, accepting reality.

Reality?

Reality was that he was in pain.

Clearly, this was a moment of irritability and loss of control, yet he had strange thoughts.

He was restless because Ji Laili wasn’t around.

He lost control when other Alphas got too close.

He tried to stay away—to not be near an Alpha—as if proving that would make him feel better.

So why would he, someone who despised Alphas, have feelings for one?

Even if that Alpha was Ji Laili.

Even so, Shen Yu wanted to refuse.

Yet, as he kept refusing, he lost his mind and outright asked for an Alpha’s pheromones.

The moment the words left his lips, Shen Yu snapped back to reality.

But strangely enough, he felt no regret at all.

Instead, he smirked—as if tearing off a mask—his gaze cold and damp, locking onto Ji Laili.

As if about to drag him down, drowning him in the murky depths.

No regret.

Just a near-manic pleasure.

His pale face, sharp and tinged red, looked cold yet sickly.

A terrible floodgate had been released.

And there was no stopping it now.

Ji Laili must have been stunned.

Shen Yu felt no guilt—only satisfaction. He even thought coldly, Why should I hold back?

He had already said it.

Since he couldn’t endure it, why not let things unfold as they would?

“Ji Laili, I want to smell your pheromones.”

He gave himself a righteous excuse, his voice rational yet distant.

“Too many inhibitors can build resistance. Alpha pheromones can stimulate the glands.”

“Smelling an Alpha’s pheromones usually causes an instinctive repulsion, making one lose control, doesn’t it?”

Ji Laili snapped out of his shock and instinctively countered.

Then he clenched his fist, regretting his quick tongue. Wait, actually—

“That’s them. I won’t.”

Shen Yu stated.

“I’m in the middle of my secondary differentiation. Maybe Alpha pheromones will help.”

That wasn’t entirely a lie. His previous differentiation was triggered by an Alpha inhibitor injection.

His awakened genes had resisted, preventing his differentiation, leaving Shen Yu as an Alpha.

Even the faint traces of Omega pheromones in him had faded.

Ji Laili fell silent.

Shen Yu’s gaze darkened. He lowered his eyelids, long lashes hiding the chilling light in his eyes.

“You said you would help me.”

The youth’s seemingly low and disappointed voice made Ji Laili panic, hurriedly waving his hands. His eyes drooped helplessly, utterly troubled.

“Of course, I’ll help you. I’d be happy to.”

“But…” Ji Laili sighed softly, completely dejected.

“Well… did you forget… I don’t know how?”

Seriously… wasn’t this frustrating?

Ji Laili mentally shed large cartoonish tears.

It’s not that he didn’t want to—he was just powerless to do anything.

That feeling of wanting to act but being completely unable to—
In the ABO world, even he, Ji Laili, could be considered sexually frigid.

And just realizing this, Shen Yu: …