Chapter 58

The dim lights cast a faint glow, and Pei Jian was in the half-light and half-darkness, making it hard to discern his expression.

Nianxi suddenly smiled softly, gently, like a breeze brushing past one’s heart, “Why?”

Since her rebirth, she rarely treated herself with such a gentle demeanor.

Pei Jian was startled for a moment, then said in a deep voice, “I’ve lost my mind.”

Nianxi couldn’t help but laugh more freely, “But I don’t need that.”

Pei Jian’s expression changed drastically, “Is Gu Ci really that good?”

Hearing his sour and distasteful words, Nianxi restrained her smile and said seriously, “Better than you.”

“What makes him worthy to compare with me?” Pei Jian was furious. They had been together for thirteen years, yet Gu Ci had only known her for a few days. They had their passionate moments, too. At the beginning of any relationship, who doesn’t make vows as strong as mountains and seas and stick together like glue?

“This is unfair to me,” he said.

Nianxi countered, “Then was talking about having a secret lover fair to me?”

She saw through him. On the surface, he appeared to endure everything silently, asking for nothing, quietly giving. In truth, he had calculated everything thoroughly. Love is not a trade, and someone as sharp as Gu Ci could never fail to notice it. If she agreed today, she and Gu Ci would inevitably be separated by misunderstandings and barriers.

As expected of him.

But she was no longer the Wen Nianxi who wallowed in self-pity, continuously draining herself because of a man’s indifference, living in pain.

Love was her nourishment. But it didn’t have to be from Pei Jian—it could come from anyone, including herself.

Rebirth was the most wonderful thing to happen to her. Escaping the terrible emotions of the past, she now lived seriously every day—fulfilled and happy.

“There are plenty of gentlemen in the capital. Even if I had to choose someone else, it would never be you.”

Nianxi looked directly at him and calmly said, “Especially now, with your clinginess and grudges, it only makes me feel how sad it was for the past me—the one who was lonely, constantly approaching you, only to face disappointment.”

“In fact, even you have lost control, disregarding your pride and exhausting all efforts for someone. Yet, you’ve never done so for the Nianxi who always waited in the inner chambers, waiting for you.”

“You don’t know how pitiable the fragile me was back then.”

Nianxi admitted that once she escaped the emotional trap and looked back, the woman she used to be—an embittered wife—was so detestable.

She kept doubting herself to the point where she no longer wanted to socialize or meet people. Sleepless night after sleepless night, she was on the verge of an emotional breakdown at any moment. She dared not let her parents know, fearing they would worry about her. Her only reliance was her husband.

And Pei Jian, he ignored everything.

Nianxi lowered her eyelashes, forcing back the tears welling in her eyes.

The overlap of past and present allowed her still to feel the pain and helplessness of those days.

“Your lingering thoughts now only make the past version of me seem even more laughable.”

“Stop bullying Gu Ci. I don’t like it.” Nianxi paused, revealing a relieved smile. “You will still be the prime minister, holding power and receiving admiration. In this lifetime, you have an even broader horizon. As for us, there is no possibility anymore.”

Pei Jian fell silent.

A large void opened in his heart as if even the pain had distanced itself from him. His whole person felt awake yet numb. He stood stiffly in place without a chance to react. Nianxi had already called out to Ying Guo, taking her maidservant and walking away.

Aunt Wang glanced at Pei Jian’s expression and found it terrifyingly gloomy. His once amorous, peach-blossom eyes were now pitch-black, like an ancient beast from the depths of a cold pool, ready to strike at any moment. She shivered, looking at the young miss who had walked far away, swallowed a bit of saliva, and cautiously said, “Lord Pei, you should leave now…”

Pei Jian took a deep breath. The diamond he originally intended to give to Nianxi now felt on fire, burning his insides. He took out the box, raised it, and was about to smash it down with force—yet, in the end, he paused mid-air.

It was a gift for Nianxi. He couldn’t bring himself to throw it away.

A self-deprecating smile escaped him. They say relationships often end in scattered ashes, and this was exactly that helpless feeling.

Aunt Wang followed behind him and only then noticed that Lord Pei was dressed in light-colored garments today, with ornaments adorning his waist—clearly, he had gone to some effort in his appearance. However, after his fight with Gu Ci, his clothes were soiled, with bloodstains on the hem, leaving not a trace of elegance.

…

Nianxi’s mood had also been affected, and she spent the entire night dreaming about her past life. The next morning, when she woke up, she didn’t feel like putting much effort into dressing up.

“Didn’t Miss agree to meet Lord Gu today at the polo field in the southern market?” Lan Zhi said with a smile. “If you don’t dress up now, you’ll be in a hurry once he arrives.”

Lan Zhi was referring to the previous time when Gu Ci brought lychees for Nianxi.

During the scorching summer, Nianxi, feeling irritable under the blazing sun, didn’t like dressing too formally while in her courtyard. Yet one day, Gu Ci unexpectedly visited at noon, bringing two baskets of fresh lychees along with other fruits.

“My second sister just sent over these lychees. Nian’er has always loved these seasonal fruits,” Gu Ci explained to Madam Li. “She hasn’t had much of an appetite lately due to the summer heat. I thought I should bring these over quickly to help her try something different. I apologize for disturbing your peaceful afternoon, Madam.”

Gu Ci’s second sister had married into the prominent Chen family of Yingchuan in the south and would send seasonal fruits from the region every year.

Someone was always thinking about her daughter, and Madam Li, as a mother, could only feel delighted. She repeatedly called for Nianxi to come. At that time, Nianxi was lounging in her room, her hair loose, dressed casually for comfort. When she heard the summons, she hurriedly scrambled to find her clothes and tie her hair into a bun.

Being someone who loved looking her best, she refused to be careless. She had to ensure her outfit and hairstyle matched perfectly. By the time she finished tidying up and rushed to the reception hall, Gu Ci had already waited until the designated time and returned to his office.

Madam Li pointed at the plate of round, fresh lychees and tapped Nianxi lightly on the forehead. “These are not easy to come by. He probably gave you the share meant for his entire family. And look at you—after being called three times, you still didn’t come, and he had to leave because he couldn’t wait any longer.”

In front of Madam Li, Nianxi always remained a child who never seemed to grow up. Despite the heat, she didn’t mind squeezing beside her mother and playfully said, “These are his offerings to you. What does that have to do with me?”

“What a thing to say! Aren’t you even a bit embarrassed?” Madam Li scolded her affectionately, then added, “Gu Ci is a good-tempered child, but don’t always make him work for your attention. In any relationship, there must be mutual give-and-take to make it last.”

Nianxi laughed and said, “Who says I’m not good to him? Mother, look—I even dressed up, especially for him.”

Madam Li looked at her daughter’s fair, jade-like face, with a healthy and charming pink hue on her cheeks. She couldn’t help but feel overjoyed and said proudly, “Whoever marries my daughter is truly blessed.”

Nianxi caught a chill last night by the corner gate, and by morning, her head felt a bit heavy.

At that moment, she said to Lan Zhi, “Just tie a simple bun. Gu Ci won’t be coming today.”

Lan Zhi found it curious. “But Lord Gu hasn’t sent any word saying he won’t come. Does Miss have some divine foresight?”

After how Pei Jian was beaten last night, one could imagine Gu Ci wouldn’t be in much better shape. From past experience, he seemed unlikely to show up for the next few days.

Yet, to their surprise, Gu Ci still came.

Lan Zhi laughed and said, “It seems Miss’s prediction wasn’t accurate after all.”