Chapter 73: The Old Woman’s Warning

The old woman warned Lara not to believe the words of a man who had everything. The love he spoke of was nothing more than a fleeting pleasure, and when the time came for him to give up what he had, he would be the first to abandon Lara.

He would push Lara away so as not to lose anything. To keep himself from stepping outside of his world, he would act as if she had never existed.

From the start, it had only been a momentary fling with a woman. Betting his possessions on such a thing was absurd. But Alek was not that kind of man. He was someone who had staked his life to protect Lara. Yet, at the same time, he was also the one most responsible for her ruin.

Would it have been better if she had gotten entangled with Gillian or his brother Edwid instead? If she had been abandoned earlier, would she have found a way to survive sooner? Standing by Alek’s side, Lara was slowly being consumed. Her only path to survival was to shut herself away in the palace, holding onto a broken child.

It was a life no different from that of Lawrence’s mother. Even as the emperor’s wife, no one recognized her. Eating fine food and wearing luxurious clothes did not make her position truly high. So, the old woman had been right.

“The men who desire you will ruin your life. You will fall even more wretchedly than your father did.”

Lara had fallen even lower than her deceased father. A life that was nothing but a burden…

“You will always be an outsider in their society. When you try to stand by the man you love, everyone around him will laugh and mock you. They’ll ridicule you, saying that a lowly woman with nothing but beauty dares to climb up.”

It wasn’t a curse—it was a prophecy. The old woman must have lost one eye in exchange for a vision of the future. Otherwise, how could she know Lara’s life so well? A bitter smile played on Lara’s lips. Seeing it, Alek’s face twisted in misery.

“I…”

Alek whispered as if groaning. Lara lifted her head.

“Remember,” she said. “If you don’t want to remember your own words, then remember my dead father instead. The man who dared to wear a small title and was beheaded like a pig. My father, who was killed just for becoming a mere overseer of slaves.”

Alek finally broke into sobs. He tried to stifle the sound, but his eyes brimmed with tears. He stared at Lara with red, blotchy eyes.

His gaze was filled with both sorrow and anger. Every tear that ran down his cheek carried resentment. Lara’s chest ached. But she wasn’t sure if it was Alek’s tears that made her heart ache or if it was the agony of her past that tore at her soul.

Perhaps it was both. After all, she had just declared that Alek’s love—the love he had devoted himself to—was the very thing that had ruined her life. It was only natural that he would crumble. For him, it was like breaking his guiding compass.

“Perhaps my fate was already decided from the start.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I tried to have something beyond my reach.”

“Lara, please. I was wrong. I beg you. It hurts too much. I made a mistake. I protected you in the wrong way.”

Alek clutched at the hem of her dress, pleading. His posture was like that of a desperate man praying before a god, or perhaps like a child crying in fear of being abandoned by his mother.

“Neither the position of empress nor your love suits me.”

Alek wept. Lara, however, did not cry. She simply gazed at him calmly.

She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to leave a kiss on the lips of the man who had done everything for her. She hated him, yet she loved him.

Perhaps because she loved him, she had hated him even in the moment he was engulfed in flames. Even after regaining her memories, nothing had changed. Perhaps she would never be able to completely let go of him.

“You and I were never meant to be.”

“Then kill me instead. But don’t deny my love. At least our time together—”

“Why not love Valerie?”

The man who had been begging with his head bowed looked at her in shock. His hands, which had been rubbing together desperately, came to a sudden stop.

“It doesn’t have to be her. I just wish you would try to love someone who could actually help you. Someone from a similar standing as you. Of course, since you’re the emperor’s son, there aren’t many women of your rank unless they’re princesses of other nations, but it doesn’t matter.”

“……”

“Loving me isn’t right. Our love destroys both of us.”

Now that she thought about it, their love hadn’t only ruined her. It had ruined Alek as well.

If he had loved another woman from the beginning, someone of noble status, he wouldn’t have suffered like this. His life would have been much easier. And the same was true for Lara.

“I should have just lived as a slave. I would have worked on a farm in Heidelbern, had a child with Edwid or Gillian, and been cast out when the time came….”

Lara muttered, as if punishing herself. It was meaningless to wonder where things had gone wrong. Everything had been wrong from the start.

Alek was a man beyond her reach.

“Maybe even then, I would have had to endure the risk of losing my child at the hands of Marquis Oprege or Valerie. But at least my husband would have been mine alone. No one would have called him my master instead of my husband.”

“……”

“And I would have lived like that. Meeting a man of my own class, having children, becoming a mother… Even if my hands and feet became calloused from hard work and my face grew wrinkled and tanned, I wouldn’t have found that life frightening or miserable.”

Lara pressed her lips together tightly. Beyond Alek’s shoulder, she saw the life that had flowed away from her.

If Dallas hadn’t taken her away that night, that’s the life she would have had.

She would have spent her youth being toyed with by some wealthy noble, then met a decent enough man and built a family.

Her husband would have loved her beauty but also pitied her enough to take her as his wife. Being a laboring slave, he would have been broad-shouldered and tall.

When he laughed, his straight, white teeth would have shone. Lara would have loved the way he smiled through his sweat and would have wanted to rest her head on his shoulder. She would have fallen in love like that.

They would have had two or three children, living a simple yet happy life… Even if it was a life of poverty, she would have considered it happiness.

“Let me live that life now.”

“……”

“Let me go.”

Only if you let me go can I live.

Lara stood up.