Chapter 18 — When the heart is in chaos, everything falls apart…

Warm lighting usually brings a sense of comfort, but at this moment, Xie Qian only felt irritated.

He paced back and forth in front of the bedroom door, raising his hand then putting it down again.

Wrong, it was all wrong.

Xie Qian was filled with regret. He should have controlled his emotions.

Heaven knows, he had only used the slightest bit of force. Shi Zhen’s wrists were so slender, just looking at them made one unwilling to hurt her.

How could he have possibly grabbed her so harshly?

Xie Qian quickly stepped forward and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his clothes. With a flick of his slender fingers, a cigarette fell into his hand.

Before long, the smell of nicotine clung to his palm. Xie Qian paused for a moment, then suppressed the urge to smoke.

With a wave of his large hand, he threw the cigarette into the trash.

Once he calmed down, Xie Qian reflected on his recent behavior over the past few days—it had been extremely unusual. So unusual that even he couldn’t recognize himself.

From the moment he received Shi Zhen’s phone call, from the moment he heard her voice, he had started to change.

Now that he thought about it carefully, he had indeed overstepped today. Who was he to make decisions for Shi Zhen?

Just because he wanted to give something, did that mean others would want it?

Why didn’t he talk to Shi Zhen beforehand?

It was simple—because he knew she would never accept it. Yet he still insisted on giving it to her.

It was as if he were possessed, bewitched. People often did things out of character at certain stages in their lives.

Xie Qian finally understood what he was like when he lost control.

So this was it—someone who usually loved to stay on the sidelines had actually developed a desire to save someone else.

Like an eagle flying over the vast ocean, distracted by a fish swimming below.

Xie Qian turned off the lights in the living room and sat down on the floor, leaning against the sofa leg, letting the darkness envelop him.

Not just his hands, but even his heart trembled.

He didn’t know what kind of thread the gods in heaven had tied between him and Shi Zhen.

Surely… it couldn’t be the red thread of fate tied by the old man under the moon, could it?

At this thought, Xie Qian’s heart jolted. He could swear on his life—he had no such thoughts about Shi Zhen.

It was just a desire to protect the weak. It couldn’t possibly be… romantic feelings?

Impossible! How could it be?

Panicked, Xie Qian jumped up, rushed into the bathroom, and locked the door without thinking. He turned on the shower.

Cold water poured down on him, chilling him to the bone.

All the inappropriate thoughts were washed away along with the heat, and he thought—it’s time for him to leave.

In the bedroom, Shi Zhen’s heart was pounding like thunder. Sitting on the soft bed, she couldn’t calm down for a long time.

The warmth on her wrist hadn’t faded yet.

She placed her hand on her chest, trying to process the fear she had just experienced.

Xie Qian’s gaze had been so fierce—it was a side of him she had never seen before.

It took her a full fifteen minutes to recover.

She set the computer on the bedside table and hugged a soft pillow tightly, leaning against the headboard.

Covered by the white blanket, Shi Zhen curled into a ball.

Her mind kept replaying the scene from earlier—Xie Qian had grabbed her hand.

He hadn’t used much force. It was like a gentle grasp at first, and then…

She seemed to have… tripped him, and then he fell on top of her…

The air under the blanket was already thin, and thinking about her own embarrassing actions, Shi Zhen felt like she couldn’t breathe.

She suddenly threw off the blanket and sat up in bed, taking deep breaths.

A sense of shame hit her belatedly. Shi Zhen slapped her own face. Did she even curse at him just now?

If you asked Shi Zhen how she felt now, only one word could describe it—conflicted.

What to do when you can’t figure things out?

Shi Zhen’s method was to avoid it. Set it aside and deal with it later.

So, with a bit of regret, a heap of shame, and 180 degrees of inner turmoil, Shi Zhen opened her computer. The ending she had been thinking about for so long became her savior in that moment. Words let her temporarily escape the troubles of the real world.

If the real world was a giant fireball, then the computer and writing were a bubble of protection—stay inside it, and you’d feel neither the heat nor the pain outside.

Sure enough, emotions fuel creativity. Shi Zhen quickly wrapped up her story.

An open ending—one step back was separation, one step forward was reunion.

That’s the charm of leaving things unsaid. With imagination, we can give it a vibrant and colorful ending.

Now there was no more hiding.

Shi Zhen knew she should go out and talk to Brother Xie properly, but she was too thin-skinned and couldn’t bring herself to do it.

After thinking it over, she took out her phone and called Shi Tingwan.

When all else fails, ask your bestie for help.

The phone rang a few times before it was answered. Shi Tingwan sounded like she had just woken up—her voice was lazy and soft.

“Miss Zhenzhen, what’s the matter, summoning me like this?”

Shi Zhen got straight to the point. “Wanwan, help! Only you can help me now!”

Shi Tingwan caught a whiff of gossip and grew interested. “Spill it!”

Shi Zhen recounted the past few days in full detail, focusing on the current problem. “In short, I think I may have mistaken someone’s kindness for ill intent. What should I do, Wanwan?”

Shi Tingwan instantly turned into Sherlock Holmes and asked, “Wait, you said you even cursed at him? What exactly did you say?”

Shi Zhen was confused. “Is that important?”

“Of course it’s important!” Shi Tingwan clicked her tongue. “You’re clearly a pure-hearted girl who’s never been in a relationship. Sometimes cursing can be a form of flirting, you know?”

Shi Zhen was even more puzzled. “Flirting?”

Shi Tingwan felt like she was playing music to a cow. “Just tell me exactly what you said.”

Thinking of the word she blurted out, Shi Zhen felt a little embarrassed. She stammered, “I… I just called him a ‘stinky man’…”

After saying it, Shi Zhen felt her face heating up.

Laughter came from the other end. Shi Tingwan chuckled and teased, “Miss Shi Zhen, you’re made for sweet, innocent romances.”

“Wanwan!” Shi Zhen’s face turned red. “I didn’t call you to be mocked!”

“Alright, alright, back to the point. But to solve the current issue, we need to analyze the previous ones first. Let’s do this—I’ll ask, you answer. Sound good?”

“Alright, go ahead and ask,” Shi Zhen said seriously.

“How long have you two known each other?”

“Over half a month online, and only a few days in real life.”

“What’s your impression of him?”

“Very tall and handsome, especially his eyes—they’re really beautiful. His voice is also very nice. He’s efficient and decisive, loyal, and in some aspects, very respectful of boundaries.”

“Is he good to you?”

“Pretty good—no, actually, too good. It feels a bit unreal.”

“How long have you been together?”

“We…”

It was only then that Shi Zhen realized Shi Tingwan was teasing her. And she had been answering seriously this whole time!

“Wanwan, if you keep this up, I’m going to hit your dog head!”

Shi Tingwan finally stopped smiling playfully and said with a serious face, “I’m just trying to help you see the situation clearly. Think about it—what normal person buys a house for someone they’ve only known for a few days? Unless they want something.”

“Want something?” Shi Zhen was puzzled. “What’s there to want from me? I don’t have any money.”

“That’s where you don’t understand,” Shi Tingwan said. “You may not have money, but you’ve got beauty. You’re seven years younger than this rich guy—maybe he wants to be an older man dating a younger woman.”

“Impossible!” Shi Zhen immediately rejected the idea.

Xie Qian didn’t look old at all—on the contrary, he even looked younger than his actual age. He was generous too; he probably wasn’t lacking admirers.

“Zhenzhen, you really underestimate your own charm,” Shi Tingwan said, frustrated. “Remember second semester of high school? You had several love letters stuffed into your desk drawer during breaks.”

“At the recitation competition, that junior came up with stars in his eyes to give you flowers. And during the sports day—”

“Stop right there!” Shi Zhen cut her off. “Not talking to you anymore. I’ll think about it myself. Hanging up.”

After pressing the hang-up button, Shi Zhen felt even more conflicted.

Could it be… that Brother Xie really had feelings for her?

No way, Shi Zhen immediately dismissed the thought. Why would Brother Xie like her?

He probably just saw her as a kid. Didn’t he just ask Liu Yi to accompany her for some stupid turtle-pulling game?

Even though she had never dated before, Shi Zhen always felt that if someone truly liked you, it wouldn’t be like how Xie Qian acted.

Romantic feelings between a man and a woman shouldn’t just be about being nice.

There should also be…

Emotion!

Yes! That’s it—emotion!

The way Xie Qian looked at her was too clear. There was none of that muddled desire or affection in his eyes.

Maybe he really was just “helping out the less fortunate” when he saw injustice on the road?

Her heart gradually calmed down. Shi Zhen took a deep breath, slowly got out of bed, and walked to the bedroom door.

Her slender fingers rested lightly on the doorknob. After a long moment, she finally made up her mind and pressed down firmly.

The moment the door opened, Shi Zhen seemed to hear a thud.

Looking up, she saw Xie Qian standing right outside the door, having just bumped his nose.

He was radiating cold air. Unwiped water droplets slid down his dark hair, and his high-neck sweater was dotted with wet spots.

Their eyes met in mid-air, then quickly looked away. Each harbored their own thoughts, with words they couldn’t speak.

In the end, it was Shi Zhen who broke the silence. “Brother Xie, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things to you just now. And… I shouldn’t have yelled at you either.”

After speaking, Shi Zhen lowered her head like a child who’d done something wrong, her fair, jade-like fingers nervously twisting the hem of her clothes.

Seeing this, Xie Qian immediately forgot the entire speech he had rehearsed in the bathroom.

“I… I was wrong too. I shouldn’t have acted without telling you. Also,” Xie Qian rubbed his red nose from the bump, “I shouldn’t have grabbed your hand, and…”

“It’s alright, Brother Xie. It didn’t hurt at all,” Shi Zhen said.

Xie Qian forced a stiff smile. “Right… I’ll be heading back to Shulin tomorrow.”

His eyes landed on the property deed that had fallen during their earlier scuffle. He bent down to pick it up. “This—keep it if you want to. If you don’t want to sell it, that’s fine too.”

A wave of sourness surged through Shi Zhen’s chest, making all her organs ache—especially her eyes and nose.

She keenly noticed the change in Xie Qian—subtle, yet piercing.

He no longer referred to himself as “Brother.” He said “I” now.

His tone had become cold, stripped of humor, revealing only emotional distance.

The unfamiliarity left Shi Zhen at a loss. It felt like she had ruined another relationship.

Such a good person like Brother Xie… and now he wouldn’t even smile at her.

She wanted to cry, but this time, Shi Zhen held it in. She forced a smile—one that looked worse than crying—and pretended to be cheerful. “Then I’ll keep it, alright.”

Xie Qian turned away, not daring to look at her face.

Once the heart is in turmoil, everything falls apart.

He had to bring his life back on track. Leaving was the best choice.

“Brother Xie, what time is your flight tomorrow?” Shi Zhen asked.

“In the afternoon—uh… the last flight, the very latest one.”

“I see.” Shi Zhen nodded. Tears welled in her eyes, and she quickly turned away. “I’ve finished writing my script. Brother Xie, would you be my first audience?”

Out of sight, Xie Qian clenched his fist, his heart in even more chaos.

He really wanted to put the Calming Mantra on 3D loop playback.

Slowly unclenching his hand, Xie Qian replied, “Of course I will.”