Chapter 40: Whatever, Just Let It Go

Seeing Su Taotao so serious, Fu Zhengtou sensed that it might not be a trivial matter. His gaze darkened, and he asked, “What is it?”

Su Taotao didn’t beat around the bush. She directly took an envelope out of the drawer and said:

“Before I met you, I had an affair in the city, though it wasn’t exactly a relationship. We were childhood sweethearts, grew up together, our families were close, and we lived in the same alley. Everyone assumed we would end up together, but then we both got sent to different places for the ‘Down to the Countryside’ movement.

Shortly after I went to the countryside, I married you against my family’s wishes, and I cut ties with them, which also meant cutting ties with him. Recently, I don’t know how, but he found my contact information again and reached out. His words implied that I had been disloyal and that he wanted to rekindle our relationship, but I didn’t respond.

I just feel that you have the right to know about this. I don’t want anyone using this to stir up trouble or create misunderstandings. I did consider going back to the city, but not to rekindle anything with him. Strictly speaking, we never really had a relationship—just a polite, courteous friendship. It wasn’t anything more.”

This was a mix of truth and half-truth, combining the storyline with Su Taotao’s personality. Su Taotao knew she couldn’t completely cut ties with her family, and this situation was like a ticking time bomb. If she didn’t handle it now, it could blow up later, causing new conflicts.

As for the childhood friend, Su Taotao wasn’t lying. In those times, men and women were kept at a distance. Su Taotao’s mother was strict, and they hadn’t even held hands. Many people liked Su Taotao because of her beauty, and she was the type to enjoy the attention without returning it. Except when it came to Fu Zhengtou, she hadn’t allowed any other man to get close.

Su Taotao figured that since there wasn’t much emotional connection between them yet, it was easier to bring this up now. She might as well lay it out in the open. If he accepted it, fine. If not, fine. At least she could say everything upfront. She would eventually have to bring him home to meet her family, and all the gossip would eventually reach his ears. Since she was already addressing it, she might as well dismantle this “time bomb” herself.

When Fu Zhengtou heard her mention, “Married you against my family’s wishes, cut ties with them,” his eyes deepened. He still didn’t know why she had been so determined to marry him back then. Actually, bringing up the past seemed pointless. This marriage had already exceeded his expectations. She had been a better wife than he thought, and he realized he hadn’t done enough to live up to her.

Fu Zhengtou didn’t open the letter. Instead, he handed it back to her and said, “I understand.”

Su Taotao thought he would ask something or say something, but he didn’t. He said nothing.

Su Taotao took back the letter and gave a self-deprecating smile. She wasn’t sure whether to admire his maturity for not prying or to think that she, as his wife, didn’t really matter much to him. He might not be interested in her affairs, or maybe he just didn’t care.

Maybe she didn’t even need to explain all this. Never mind.

She had been overthinking. She had imagined taking him back to her family, worrying that he might be influenced by the gossip. In her past life, during the free love era, she hadn’t found love after over twenty years of searching. Now, she was blindly married, which was harder than winning the lottery.

What was she thinking?

Forget it. Just treat it as finding a high-quality legal affair partner. Whatever, just let it go.

Su Taotao calmly turned around to put the letter away. “Let’s go eat,” she said, then turned to open the door.

Fu Zhengtou felt that her aura had changed. She still had that smiling face, but her eyes were cold and distant.

This feeling lasted until dinner, and nothing changed. Fu Zhengtou realized that this coldness and distance were only directed at him. She remained as warm and affectionate as ever towards their son, and her interactions with Zhou Linglan and Fu Yuanhang were no different from usual.

After dinner, she still remembered the meat Fu Dabo had sent earlier. She had asked Zhou Linglan to put it in the brine to marinate, and now it was time for Fu Zhengtou to take it over to Cao Guohua.

As for Su Taotao’s change, Fu Zhengtou didn’t know how to ask about it. He wasn’t sure how to approach the subject since he didn’t understand women’s emotions very well.

He went to his room, grabbed a few packs of cigarettes and a chess set, and went to knock on the cow shed’s door.

Cao Guohua had become used to Su Taotao sending him things from time to time. He didn’t ask questions and simply opened the door.

It took him a moment to realize who was standing at the door. His face lit up with a smile. “Zhengtou?”

Fu Zhengtou nodded. “Uncle Cao, it’s me.”

Cao Guohua was obviously happy. He patted Fu Zhengtou’s shoulder affectionately. “It’s good that you’re back. Your mother and Xiao Su don’t have to work so hard anymore.”

“Sit,” Cao Guohua gestured to the only chair in the house, which was missing a leg and propped against the doorframe.

Fu Zhengtou handed him the things in his hands and sat down without hesitation.

Cao Guohua wasn’t shy either. He took the items, looked at them, kept the chess set, and tossed a pack of cigarettes on the table. When he saw the marinated meat, he was a little surprised and asked Fu Zhengtou, “Why are you sending marinated meat over at this hour?”

He had already received some meat during dinner.

Fu Zhengtou replied, “Just a gesture, from Xiao Su.”

Xiao Su…

Fu Zhengtou realized he hadn’t actually called Su Taotao by that name before. In front of others, “Xiao Su” seemed to work fine.

Cao Guohua didn’t ask further. He understood Su Taotao’s personality. If she wanted it sent back, she would just throw it in the trash. Why waste food?

Cao Guohua put the items in the “kitchen” and, after a while, brought two cups of tea.

“Try it. It’s good. Thanks to your wife, I can still have some good tea in this broken place.”

Su Taotao had never mentioned her connection with Cao Guohua, so Fu Zhengtou didn’t know and thought that she was just looking after him at Zhou Linglan’s request.

“You know, you married a good wife. You shouldn’t be spending years away from home anymore,” Cao Guohua said.

Fu Zhengtou replied, “I won’t.”

He realized that nearly everyone who knew Su Taotao seemed to praise her in a similar way. Family members, people from the state-run restaurant, and now even Cao Guohua.

Thinking back to the cold, distant look she had earlier, Fu Zhengtou couldn’t understand what he had done to upset her.

Cao Guohua had already set up the chessboard. “It’s been years since I last played. I don’t know if I can still play, but let’s go.”

After saying this, he lit a cigarette, took a deep puff, and said, “Haven’t smoked in years.”

He pushed the cigarette toward Fu Zhengtou.

Fu Zhengtou shook his head. He didn’t have a cigarette habit. He only smoked when he was particularly stressed, and the packs he had were given to him by others. He didn’t want to smoke now.

Knowing Fu Zhengtou didn’t care for small talk, the two of them played a game of chess in silence without saying another word.

In the end, it was Cao Guohua who lost. He sighed, “I haven’t won a single game against you in all these years. Can’t you let me win just once?”

“When are you planning to stay here?” Fu Zhengtou asked.

Cao Guohua lit another cigarette and shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s pretty good here.”

Fu Zhengtou looked at him closely. “That thing wasn’t your fault. Even if you’re atoning for it, all these years should be enough.”

Cao Guohua lowered his gaze, his expression unreadable. In the end, he shook his head. “Zhengtou, sometimes things aren’t about right or wrong, but about the results. The bad outcome was caused by me, and I can’t find peace with it. Don’t try to comfort me. When I figure it out, I’ll leave here.”

Fu Zhengtou didn’t say anything else.

Cao Guohua asked, “When are you leaving?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

Cao Guohua was surprised. “So soon? What about Xiao Su and Chenchen?”

Fu Zhengtou replied, “They’ll come with me. Xiao Hang needs to go for more systematic education, but my mother won’t leave.”

Cao Guohua tried to comfort him. “That’s alright. I’m here, nothing bad will happen.”

They played another game of chess, casually chatting as they did. When the game finished, it was time for Fu Zhengtou to leave, and he left the chess set behind.

It felt like Fu Zhengtou had talked about something, but also like he hadn’t talked about anything at all.

When he returned home, Su Taotao had already turned off the lights and gone to bed.

The moonlight was still beautiful, and Fu Zhengtou could make out Su Taotao’s pale, delicate face and slightly furrowed brows. She wasn’t sleeping deeply and seemed to be in a bad mood.

Unintentionally, Fu Zhengtou remembered the last thing Cao Guohua had said: “Be good to Xiao Su. She deserves it.”

She deserves it.

But how should he treat her to be good to her?