Chapter 34

Qi Cheng’s blood pressure situation that day prompted Dr. Zhao to send her two consecutive emails.

The antidepressant he was currently taking already carried the risk of high blood pressure as a side effect, so Dr. Zhao repeatedly emphasized that she must ensure stability.

As a result, Chi Zhihan began going out more frequently.

She truly experienced firsthand the fame of Cheng Yi. Her Weibo gained many new followers, and countless people sent her private messages asking how she had connections with Cheng Yi – some well-meaning, others malicious.

The company’s social media team had been overwhelmed these past few days. Fortunately, her winter video had been trending in hot searches for several consecutive days, with her popularity soaring.

Lin Jingwu was naturally thrilled, constantly talking about inviting Cheng Yi and Qi Ning to dinner, though it remained just talk. The last time Qi Cheng’s expressionless manager handed over the ten paintings to Lin Jingwu, Chi Zhihan noticed his hands were trembling.

Both were managers, but the difference in presence was stark…

The same stark difference in presence applied to Chi Zhihan herself.

Qi Cheng was too sensitive. Her frequent outings recently, coupled with deliberately maintaining about two meters of distance from him, had caused him to start deliberately avoiding her as well.

The studio door hadn’t been closed since that last incident, but Qi Cheng spent most of his time inside, only coming out to eat in silence.

Chi Zhihan tried very hard to cheer him up, but often just a glance from him would make her blush instantly. After her heart fluttered, she would try to regroup, only to find that Qi Cheng had already finished eating and returned to the studio.

After this happened several times, Chi Zhihan began to worry about boundaries.

Not about Qi Cheng, but about herself.

Because of her feelings, whenever she got close, she couldn’t control her desire to touch him. Since he couldn’t be touched, she didn’t dare get too close.

Talking too much often led to saying the wrong things. For stability’s sake, sometimes she didn’t even know what to say.

She couldn’t find the right balance. Qi Cheng was being pushed further away, and with someone like him, getting close again would likely be very difficult.

She might truly end up making things worse, especially since Qi Cheng’s recent report data showed no significant fluctuations. Qi Peng had also forwarded another email from an American psychologist to Dr. Zhao – extremely long and filled with technical English terms. Chi Zhihan couldn’t understand it, but it made her even more anxious.

Her distraction led to a sharp increase in incidents of tripping and bumping into table corners these past few days, eventually reaching the melodramatic point of cutting herself while preparing vegetables.

It all started because Qi Cheng passed by and asked what was for lunch.

She immediately flinched and accidentally sliced her fingertip with the knife. The wound wasn’t deep, but blood quickly began flowing.

…

As a private chef, cutting herself in front of her employer was a major taboo. As a woman, being clumsy in front of the man she liked didn’t suit her personality either.

So Chi Zhihan sniffled and bravely pretended nothing had happened, changing angles to continue chopping vegetables.

Only now, that vibrant green celery was stained with blood, looking like something out of a horror film.

…

Chi Zhihan pressed her lips together.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Qi Cheng had returned with a first aid kit, standing expressionlessly behind her.

“…Are you afraid of blood?” She instinctively covered her wound, replaying the precautions in her mind, worried he might have an episode.

Qi Cheng shook his head, emotion flickering briefly in his eyes.

Relieved, she still didn’t follow her heart’s desire to shamelessly extend her finger. Instead, she took the first aid kit from Qi Cheng, stepped aside to disinfect the wound herself and apply a bandage.

She had dealt with such accidents often when she first started cooking and was quite practiced at treating them. She even wrapped it in plastic wrap to prevent water from getting in while cooking later.

Qi Cheng stood silently watching the whole time. When she finished and turned to wash and cut vegetables again, he quickly came over, took the knife from her, and very smoothly threw the blood-stained vegetables into the trash.

He came very close.

Even touched her hand while taking the knife.

Chi Zhihan blushed, her heart racing. Feeling something was off, she could only lower her head and ask, “What are you doing?”

After speaking, her face turned even redder – what should have been an accusatory tone came out sounding more like flirtatious banter…

Stable relationships really didn’t seem suited for a passionate young woman like her…

Qi Cheng’s expression was complicated.

Chi Zhihan had been like this for many days now. With her head lowered he couldn’t see her face, but just looking at her ears told him she must be blushing furiously.

Whenever he got close or spoke to her, she would react this way.

So these past few days, Chi Zhihan had been trying hard to maintain about two meters’ distance from him, like matching magnets that repelled each other when brought too close.

At first, he thought Dr. Zhao must have said something.

But Chi Zhihan wasn’t the type to blush like this just because of something Dr. Zhao said. Moreover, she couldn’t keep secrets.

He even worried that spending too much time with him had made her uncomfortable with close contact with people, but seeing how well she interacted with the security staff and the cleaning lady who came daily, that didn’t seem to be the case.

And during this time, she’d been going out quite frequently, showing no signs of social anxiety at all.

“Why are you blushing?” Unable to figure it out, he could only ask directly.

Chi Zhihan, still looking down, immediately jumped like a cat whose tail had been stepped on, so startled she began stammering. “I-I-I, I’m not blushing! Y-y-you, don’t make things up!”

…

This made Qi Cheng’s expression even more complicated.

She definitely had something going on, but he couldn’t guess what it was.

After that expression of concern that day, she had very obviously tried to draw clear boundaries with him. He guessed it was probably because of the blood pressure issue.

He had thought that with her personality, she would ignore the doctor’s warnings after a day or two and everything would return to normal, but this time, she had persisted for a long time.

Long enough that he began to feel a dull ache in his heart.

“Until your hand heals, let’s order takeout. Security has the contact numbers,” he said, then automatically retreated two meters away.

She seemed to have started avoiding his touch.

Just like his family – at first eager to touch and comfort him, but after discovering his hallucinations, they developed trauma, became afraid to touch him, and would immediately apologize if they did.

Chi Zhihan was the same, quickly checking his expression after any unavoidable contact.

So to make her comfortable, he simply kept his distance, not wanting to explain that the hallucinations weren’t guaranteed to happen every time. Sometimes, they only appeared after the person who touched him apologized.

Compared to that kind of pain, he would rather have someone holding his hand when he was uncomfortable.

But his family were all men, and the only woman, Qi Ning, was sometimes even more masculine than Qi Peng.

None of them had precedent for seeking comfort when not in pain, and he wasn’t used to actively seeking comfort. After getting sick, it became even more impossible.

Qi Cheng frowned slightly.

He didn’t like this change in Chi Zhihan, but… just like his illness, changes and deterioration were natural and inevitable.

Not wanting to see her lowered head and blushing awkwardness anymore, he simply kept his distance, though when he saw her cut herself and bandage it alone, it took great restraint not to go to her.

She bandaged it better than he could have – she had always been able to take good care of herself, unlike him.

“You need to eat less oil, and you can’t have takeout.” Chi Zhihan’s heartbeat had calmed, but her finger was starting to hurt. She shook it with a hiss of pain, then saw Qi Cheng take two more steps back.

“Security has healthy takeout options.” Qi Cheng answered while continuing to retreat, his expression darkening at Chi Zhihan’s show of pain.

“What about Auntie Liu who used to come every morning? Haven’t seen her in a while.” Chi Zhihan frowned again, finding Qi Cheng’s backing away while talking strange, and took two steps forward.

“Auntie Liu is my sister’s mother-in-law. She’s probably helping with the baby now.” Qi Cheng stepped back again.

…

“…I don’t trust takeout. It’s fine, just a small cut.” Realizing Qi Cheng kept retreating and his expression was worsening, Chi Zhihan turned around and casually continued cooking.

Could he be squeamish about blood, or sensitive to wounds? His face seemed to be getting quite pale.

“If you’re not feeling well, why don’t you go read a book or take a nap?” Chi Zhihan kept glancing at Qi Cheng while sorting through the remaining celery in the basket, “Or paint?”

“Takeout.” Qi Cheng stubbornly stood several meters away, frowning as he watched her continue sorting vegetables.

“…Takeout won’t taste as good as my cooking.” Chi Zhihan looked up with a smile, waving the celery in her hand, “It’ll be quick.”

The lunch menu was shrimp and celery porridge. The porridge was already cooked; all she needed to do was chop the celery for garnish.

“Takeout.” Qi Cheng insisted, his speech becoming terse as sweat began appearing on his forehead, “Must be takeout.”

…

Chi Zhihan paused, turning back.

The distance was too great for her to do more than sense that Qi Cheng’s body was trembling.

“What’s wrong?” Now truly worried, she forgot about staying calm and walked closer to check his expression.

Qi Cheng quickly retreated again, maintaining the distance. He backed up so fast he hit the corner of the desk with a loud bang, but showed no reaction.

“Don’t move.” Chi Zhihan knew her tone was wrong – that collision sound was too loud, she knew without looking that his leg must be bruised, but he was still backing away.

He wasn’t avoiding light or quickly returning to bed to wrap himself up, so his typical autism symptoms hadn’t likely relapsed.

But his forehead was sweaty, his face pale, his body trembling slightly.

Chi Zhihan quickly tried to recall his medical history.

But there wasn’t much – Qi Cheng had lived alone too long. Often, episodes were only noticed after his blood pressure and heart rate alarmed, and someone would rush over. Dr. Zhao’s records in this area had become quite sparse over the years.

“Qi Cheng, please don’t move, okay?” Chi Zhihan’s voice unconsciously softened as she grew more worried, finally succeeding in getting him to stop when he reached the edge of the bed.

Chi Zhihan sighed in relief, giving a bitter smile.

She had been so scared her legs felt weak…

“Are you afraid of the wound?” Getting closer, she saw he was indeed covered in sweat, with fine beads of moisture all over his neck. She tucked her injured hand into her pocket, biting her lip as she debated whether to help wipe his sweat.

She was really afraid she wouldn’t be able to control herself from trying to check the bruise on his leg…

Qi Cheng shook his head without speaking, but instinctively leaned back when she got close.

“…What’s wrong?” The movement was too obvious. Chi Zhihan was surprised and, to test, moved a bit closer.

This time Qi Cheng didn’t move, but his breathing became heavier, his hand unconsciously reaching to grab his pant leg.

Right where he had hit the desk.

Chi Zhihan instinctively reached out to stop him, then found her hand being quickly and tightly gripped by him.

…

Chi Zhihan blinked.

Looking up, she saw Qi Cheng covered in cold sweat, stubbornly and somewhat pitifully holding her hand, like a child who had finally gotten what they wanted after enduring for so long.

…

Her heart ached seeing that look in his eyes.

“What’s really wrong?” Her voice grew softer as she realized she had already wiped Qi Cheng’s sweat with her hand before she could stop herself – direct skin contact.

She bit her lip, filled with regret.

“What should I do, if it hurts later will pain medication help?” Her eyes were getting slightly red – she had wiped quite a few places: his forehead, neck, maybe even his cheeks…

“No need.” Qi Cheng finally spoke, his voice hoarse, then repeated, “No need.”

He was still holding her hand, and Chi Zhihan didn’t want to pull away.

Their bodies were very close, close enough that she could feel the soft texture of his sweater, warm with his body heat.

“Takeout, okay?” This man stubbornly returned to the question from before his episode.

…

Chi Zhihan closed her eyes.

She probably… wouldn’t be able to maintain stability anymore…