Chapter 35

She had always known Qi Cheng was stubborn, but she never imagined he could be this stubborn. His hand kept gripping hers tightly, even though she could feel his palm growing colder and his trembling becoming more intense. Yet, he still clenched his teeth and refused to let go.

After multiple failed attempts to persuade him, she had no choice but to sit with Qi Cheng on the edge of the bed and try to negotiate. “Can we switch hands? I need this one to call for takeout…”

“No,” Qi Cheng somehow still had the strength to glare back at her.

She knew why he thought it was a bad idea—because her other hand was the one that had just been cut by the knife.

“If we sit here like this without moving, we’ll starve to death,” Chi Zhihan tried to appeal to logic.

Qi Cheng didn’t respond, just lowered his head and sniffled.

…

Chi Zhihan didn’t dare speak anymore. There had already been too much excitement today, and if he started crying, she would definitely cry too.

But his hand was really getting colder and colder.

“Let me get you some medicine, okay? The temperature of this hand doesn’t feel right,” she frowned as she took Qi Cheng’s other hand. The temperature difference between his two hands was obvious.

Hallucinations were truly terrifying. Even though nothing was visible, the physical pain was very real.

“Five minutes,” Qi Cheng still insisted, his head lowered.

He knew what he was persisting for. This inexplicable hallucination had appeared many years ago. At first, he had been afraid too, so his reactions to being touched had become particularly intense.

His family members, frightened by his reactions, would reflexively let go the moment they touched him, their faces turning pale.

No one had ever been like Chi Zhihan, who allowed him to hold on without daring to pull away forcefully.

He suddenly became stubborn, wanting to test how much pain he could endure by holding on like this. In his hallucination, the initially burning, tearing wound had already deepened to the bone. He gritted his teeth, thinking that if the pain really reached the point of severing, perhaps the hand in his hallucination would cease to exist, and then maybe it wouldn’t hurt anymore.

But the prerequisite was that he had to be able to endure the current pain.

It really hurt so much that his vision blurred. In his hazy state, he felt Chi Zhihan quietly move closer, reaching out with her other hand to wrap around his left hand—which in his hallucination was already a bloody mess—and rubbed it forcefully a couple of times, trying to warm it up.

Seeing him looking at her, she even managed a smile: “Since you’re already in pain, the size of the area shouldn’t matter much, right?”

Though there was panic in her eyes, she still smiled sweetly.

He had frightened her again…

The determination to fight against the hallucination suddenly deflated. Qi Cheng let go somewhat dejectedly, only to find that Chi Zhihan didn’t move.

“Didn’t you say five minutes? It’s only been one minute,” she had actually been timing it on her phone…

Her hand lay quietly nestled in his palm, somewhat disheveled from his cold sweat, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she smiled playfully at him and pressed her hand further into his.

It was hard to explain.

But the moment he felt the warmth of her skin, the hallucination suddenly vanished.

His hand was still numb from the real pain, but the pain itself was, indeed, gone.

Even Chi Zhihan noticed—his fingers had stopped trembling, and though cold sweat still flowed, his palm was warming up.

“…Does it not hurt anymore?” Her eyes widened, her expression looking even more delighted than his.

Qi Cheng shook his head, tightening his grip slightly. The warmth of skin contact remained, and it truly didn’t hurt anymore.

“So we can touch freely from now on?” Chi Zhihan blurted out, then immediately made a face as if someone else had said those words.

…

She’d been making that expression quite often lately.

“I… don’t know,” he wasn’t even clear about why it didn’t hurt this time.

“Three minutes left,” Chi Zhihan didn’t pursue the question, enthusiastically continuing the countdown.

…Actually, there seemed to be no need for a countdown anymore, but he did indeed want to sit still. He had almost had an episode earlier, and several near episodes had been interrupted by her in various ways.

The symptoms were interrupted, but the feeling of weakness still existed, just not as severely.

Moreover, having her sit next to him like this felt… nice.

She was no longer a stranger; his social anxiety symptoms had long disappeared around her, and now he seemed to be becoming less averse to touch as well.

Recently, he had been… progressing as rapidly as if he were on stimulants.

But because he didn’t know the reason, his heart became even more uneasy.

If everything was because of Chi Zhihan, then there would eventually come a day when she would leave. He couldn’t possibly ask her to stay and accompany him for life.

Although he could sense that his relationship with Chi Zhihan had been getting better lately—her initially purely professional smile had become increasingly genuine.

It was actually quite normal—this was a confined environment, and she was a kind person. It was natural for her to become more familiar with him, to feel sympathy for him.

He was happy to have made such a friend.

Which was exactly why he couldn’t keep her for life.

Besides, he… might not even have a lifetime ahead of him.

…

They didn’t end up sitting for the full five minutes. Dr. Zhao’s phone call came like a death knell. Before Chi Zhihan could fumble to answer it, it disconnected, and immediately after, Qi Cheng’s phone rang.

The moment Qi Cheng answered, the impatient Dr. Zhao erupted: “I’m on my way. What’s Qi Cheng’s condition?”

“…” Qi Cheng had it on speaker, so Chi Zhihan, being addressed, took the phone and turned off the speaker. “He’s fine.”

“His heart rate and blood pressure were both at critical values earlier. How can he be fine?” Dr. Zhao’s voice was so loud that turning off the speaker made little difference. “Check if he can still see.”

“…” Of course he could see. Chi Zhihan glanced at Qi Cheng’s expression, then leaned over to wipe the sweat that was about to drip from his chin. Qi Cheng froze for a moment but didn’t move. “He can see and hear, and hasn’t had an episode.”

“…Strange.” Dr. Zhao probably saw the gradually normalizing values on the monitoring device. His voice softened, and Chi Zhihan heard him pulling over to the side of the road before picking up the phone again. “What happened?”

It took some courage to recount what had happened earlier. Chi Zhihan’s face remained flushed as she spoke. She really hadn’t expected Qi Cheng would have an episode, and the cause was her refusing to order takeout…

“This is a major breakthrough. His hand doesn’t hurt anymore?” Dr. Zhao marveled, then changed his tone, “Aren’t you moving too fast? I told you sudden improvements aren’t necessarily good things—the chances of relapse increase.”

…

Chi Zhihan didn’t know how to explain that she wasn’t rushing things, that she had never been the initiator.

“What was your hand-holding position like?” Dr. Zhao quickly changed the subject. Qi Cheng’s progress had him overjoyed, and he took out paper and pen to begin the consultation.

Chi Zhihan’s face reddened further. She looked at how their hands were joined, then pressed her lips together.

Initially, he had grabbed her hand while hers was in a fist, his completely enveloping hers. That was easier to explain, but now…

When had they switched to interlocked fingers…

How was she supposed to describe this…

“Well, at first he grabbed…” The consultation was important, so Chi Zhihan forced herself to continue, stumbling over her words with a completely red face.

Then Qi Cheng took the phone, and Chi Zhihan heard him say just one thing—”This is personal”—before hanging up.

…

His young master’s temperament was showing again.

Though explaining by email later would be much better than explaining verbally in front of him…

And somehow he looked quite handsome hanging up the phone like that…

Honestly, as a patient, his advantages were a bit excessive…

“Takeout,” that overpowered patient finally returned to the original topic, releasing her hand.

“I already cooked the porridge, what takeout?” Chi Zhihan got angry just thinking about it. He had actually had an episode over this? “All that’s left is to wash and cut the celery to throw in. Can you stop being wasteful?”

The earlier grabbing and sitting had pushed all her peaceful thoughts into a corner, making her speech unrestrained again.

Somehow, following her heart seemed to always make Qi Cheng better.

If that was the case, why should she care about being peaceful or not?

She really didn’t want to see him drenched in cold sweat and trembling again, nor did she want to see him wrapped up in blankets anymore.

Like now—being able to open the curtains during the day, letting sunlight in, occasionally smiling, spending most of his time painting and a little time studying recipes with her—this was good.

Or like now, watching him coldly and rather inexpertly wash the celery, throwing it on the cutting board and frowning as he watched her perform as a one-armed warrior with her uninjured hand.

“The boss will dock my pay if I let him wash vegetables,” the forced one-armed warrior Chi Zhihan said pitifully with a sad face.

“I’m not your boss,” still upset about the earlier contract signing, Qi Cheng’s tone turned unpleasant again.

Chi Zhihan sniffled, wisely keeping quiet.

“I’ll make up for any docked pay,” he said after thinking, then frowned again as he watched her season the porridge, sprinkle in the celery, and serve a bowl for each of them.

She even had some pickled radish for herself.

“You can’t eat radish while you’re taking Chinese medicine,” Chi Zhihan protectively bared her fangs while holding the plate of pickled radish.

Qi Cheng sat down and began drinking his porridge expressionlessly, while glancing at her pickled radish.

“…I’ll give you two more shrimp,” Chi Zhihan felt guilty under his gaze and picked out two shrimp from her bowl to give him.

Then she quietly watched for his reaction.

She had never done this before—giving him food from her own bowl, though she did it very naturally.

Today’s successful hand-holding gave her the courage to experiment again.

Qi Cheng stopped drinking his porridge, staring at the two shrimp in his bowl.

She had used her own chopsticks, which she had just eaten with, to give them to him without any hesitation.

He continued drinking his porridge nonchalantly, head lowered, and ate the two shrimp completely clean.

Then he quietly watched the person across from him, who smiled with crescent eyes.

“From now on, your diet should be as low-fat as possible, and you should eat less pickled foods too,” Chi Zhihan said provocatively as she bit into a pickled radish, crisp and refreshing. “I pickled several jars of vegetables across the street earlier. With our appetite, it should last about a year…”

Qi Cheng looked up.

“What?” Chi Zhihan was still chewing her radish.

“A year?” he asked slowly. “Your contract only has ten months left.”

…

Chi Zhihan swallowed the radish in her mouth, somewhat confused by Qi Cheng’s seriousness. “We can just renew it.”

“Why would you renew?” Qi Cheng pursued the question. He rarely asked follow-up questions—usually, whether a topic ended or not was up to Chi Zhihan. Today was an exception.

“…Don’t you want me to renew?” Chi Zhihan asked in return.

Qi Cheng lowered his head, stirring the porridge in his bowl with his chopsticks, no longer speaking.

Chi Zhihan bit her chopsticks and pondered for a while, but was quickly distracted by the way Qi Cheng was drinking his porridge, and picked out some more celery to put in his bowl.

“Don’t be picky about food,” she said gruffly.

The fragrance of rice porridge permeated the room. Qi Cheng kept his head down; the sudden, unpredictable episode earlier still left his limbs somewhat weak.

He had always thought it would only be ten months.

If she renewed her contract… what should he do?