The Metaphysics Expert is Farming
The Metaphysics Expert is Farming Chapter 1: A Bridal Car Carrying a Corpse

Chapter 1: A Bridal Sedan Carrying a Corpse

The hour of You (5–7 PM) had already passed. The setting sun cast its light on a narrow village path, and at this moment, a group of festively dressed people was making its way along it, carrying a small bridal car. At the very front, a matchmaker hurried along, looking flustered. Her plump figure was heavy and awkward, and now that she was half-running, she seemed even more sluggish and clumsy.

“Of all times to die, she had to die on the road! What a damn omen!”

She cursed as she turned back. If one looked closely, the road they had passed showed a broken, blood-streaked trail. And under the car chair, blood was still dripping.

The car bearers ignored the weight on their shoulders and rushed toward the village ahead. A cool breeze blew through, lifting the curtain of the car—and inside was a young woman with her eyes closed, dressed in a bright rose-red wedding outfit. Looking more closely, her wrist, resting on her knee beneath the wide sleeve, was bleeding profusely.

The sun dipped lower. The bearers walked fast, and in less than fifteen minutes, they reached the village. Villagers, having just finished dinner, saw the car return and hurriedly dropped what they were doing to follow. And so, the group arrived at a house at the far end of the village.

The car was set down with a heavy thud. The matchmaker stormed up to the door and banged furiously. “Come out here, damn you! How dare you give me a dead person! Are you looking to die?!”

Her shout caused an uproar. Everyone gasped, their surprise mixed with pity.

People moved closer and lifted the curtain of the bridal car. Inside, the girl’s face was deathly pale, without a trace of blood, causing those around to recoil in fright.

The door, nearly broken from the pounding, opened from the inside. A woman in a thin padded jacket stepped out, clearly ready to yell, but when she saw the matchmaker, her expression changed instantly. “Auntie, what’s going on?”

The matchmaker shoved aside the woman’s affectionate gesture and stormed into the courtyard. “What’s going on? You gave me a dead girl! Give me back my money!”

An older woman followed her out, eyes wide in shock. “What?! That’s impossible! She was fine when she left!”

The matchmaker ignored her. She had personally checked the girl’s breathing—she was already dead!

She raised her hand and called to the car bearers, “You there! Go find the money for me!”

Before the two women could stop them, the bearers had already rushed inside and started rummaging through the house. The older woman and the younger one followed, struggling to stop them. Just then, a door in the next room opened, and out came three figures—one adult and two children.

The two children supported a pale-faced woman with tear-streaked cheeks and a white cloth wrapped around her forehead.

“H-He Yatou… she’s dead?”

“Sister…”

Unlike the chaos inside the house, this side was filled with sorrow. The woman staggered forward toward the bridal car.

Just as they stepped out over the threshold, the car suddenly shook a few times. The villagers gasped and instinctively pulled each other back several steps, staring at the car with wide eyes, as if afraid something might jump out of it.

But the car only shook briefly before falling still again. Everyone held their breath.

Bang!

The door of the car was kicked open in front of everyone, falling heavily to the ground with a loud thud that echoed in everyone’s chest, making them flinch in unison.

Inside the house, the quarrel continued. Outside, however, silence fell.

Everyone stared as a figure dressed in rose-red stepped out of the car. Her head was lowered, and even from the side, her face looked pale and lifeless.

He Yatou glanced down at the shoulder poles, then raised a foot and stomped one of them, breaking it. She bent over, picked up the broken piece, weighed it in her hand, and when she looked up again, her face was cold—almost indifferent.

Her previously slashed wrist was now wrapped in bandages. If one looked closely, a faint glow surrounded it.

“He Yatou…?”

Xiang He slightly tilted her head and saw the woman with a wound on her forehead. The woman was thin, with sunken cheeks and a haggard face, her eyes wide with shock, yet there was a flicker of agitation in them.

This was the original body’s mother. Xiang He smiled gently at her. “Mother, it’s me.”

Upon hearing her voice, Su Shi could no longer bear the pain in her heart. Her legs gave way, and she collapsed to the ground, crying out in anguish. The two children, not yet fully grown, rushed to support her and started crying as well.

Xiang He merely gave her a faint glance before walking into the house. Inside, there was a lot of noise. She raised her hand and smashed a sliding pole against the doorframe.

The loud crash made everyone inside turn to look. When the old woman saw Xiang He, her eyes lit up as she rushed toward her, grabbing her arm and shouting, “So it’s you, you woman! He Yatou is clearly still alive! You’re just trying to steal money!”

As she spoke, her triangular eyes grew venomous, and she glared at Xiang He, her voice full of malice. “You shameless girl, pretending to be dead, huh?!”

Her eyes burned with resentment, and as she gritted her teeth, her hand tightened. “You better get on that car, or else…”

Her spiteful gaze shifted toward the door, using Xiang He’s family as a threat.

But Xiang He simply smiled. Her right hand swiftly raised the sliding pole, aiming it at the woman’s hand and bringing it down without mercy.

Unfortunately, the woman dodged in time. Xiang He clicked her tongue. “The old hag is quick to dodge.”

The old woman, still standing nearby, was enraged by her words. “You shameless girl! You’re asking for trouble!”

She rolled up her sleeves and charged at Xiang He, with her eldest daughter-in-law, Yu Shi, following right behind. “Auntie, come help catch her! I’ll personally send her to Xu Yuanwai’s house!”

The matchmaker, who was just a few steps away, sneered. “What, you’re trying to put on some kind of show again? Hurry up and return the money, so I can explain things to Xu Yuanwai, or you’ll all regret it!”

The matchmaker was clear in her mind. The girl had dared to harm herself in the bridal car, who knew what trouble she might cause once she got to Xu Yuanwai’s place? It was better to just return the money, and at most, she’d have to bow a few times, which would resolve everything.

Yu Shi didn’t expect the matchmaker to help. After all, how could a small girl have the strength to match her?

Just as Xiang He seemed about to be caught, her younger brother and sister rushed over from behind to protect her. Su Shi staggered forward as well. “Let… let go of He Yatou! We won’t marry!”

Xiang He raised an eyebrow and looked back at the two younger ones. “Let go first. Sister can handle it. Go help Mother so she doesn’t fall. Be good.”

Her eyes were gentle and determined, and after a brief moment of hesitation, the two children obediently released their hold.

Feeling the hands on her waist loosen, Xiang He didn’t budge. She allowed the two of them to grasp her arms, her eyes flashing with clear disdain, which only made the old woman and Yu Shi more furious. Their grip tightened as they tried to drag her toward the bridal car.

But no matter how hard they pulled, they couldn’t move Xiang He an inch.

Xiang He curled her lips into a sneer. “Didn’t eat today?” she said, as the sliding pole fell to the ground. She then grabbed both their forearms with a swift motion, her fingers tightly clasping them. In an instant, she used her strength to crash them together.

“Ow!”

Their heads collided, and the pain made them bare their teeth, clutching their heads. The old woman pointed at Xiang He, cursing, “You damn brat!”

Xiang He couldn’t be bothered to respond to them. She hooked her foot around the sliding pole, lifting it into her hand, and slowly walked toward the bed. Seeing how strong she was, the car bearers, who had been watching, stepped back a few paces, afraid that she might lash out at them with the sliding pole.

The people outside were stunned. He Yatou was usually gentle, but today, she was standing her ground!

Xiang He remained leisurely, tapping the sliding pole against the bed frame with rhythmic clinks. The sound was like a hammer to the old woman’s ears. Her face changed with shock as she ignored the pain in her head and rushed forward. “You dead girl! Get out of the way!”

Hearing the voice, Xiang He’s lips curved slightly. She raised the carrying pole high and brought it down with force—

“Bang!”

The pole snapped, and a hole was smashed into the bedboard. Inside was a red cloth pouch. Xiang He reached in, took it out, and held it up with two fingers, giving it a light shake in front of her eyes. Then she turned to face them, beaming brightly.

The old woman was so angry she was gnashing her teeth and rushed forward to snatch it, but Xiang He easily dodged and leapt onto the bed in one fluid motion. Seeing her posture, the onlookers outside the door struggled to hold back their laughter. Anyone with eyes could tell — a push here, a trip there — Xiang He was walking her like a dog!

“Give it back to me! If I catch you, you shameless brat, you’re dead!”

With a few quick steps, Xiang He landed beside the matchmaker. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a pink figure rushing back outside the door. She tilted her head toward the matchmaker and crossed one arm over her chest, saying:

“Old woman, do you want the twenty taels of silver, or…”

She lifted her chin slightly, and the matchmaker followed her gaze.

“My second sister’s figure is better than mine, her complexion is rosier, her skin is fairer, and she’s quite the beauty too. How about you leave the silver to that old hag and send my second sister instead?”

JustMeow18[Translator]

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