Chapter 108

At four in the morning, the snow intensified a bit.

As Jiang Ji stepped out, he casually grabbed a thinner coat from the doorway.

Handing the helmet to Qin Qingzhuo, Jiang Ji noticed that Qin Qingzhuo’s face was pale. His lips, now lacking their usual color due to dryness, appeared slightly tense, giving off a matte finish. In the night, he looked like a delicate and fragile porcelain.

Avoiding eye contact, Jiang Ji mounted the motorcycle, donned his helmet, and said, “It’s too cold; drive your car.”

Qin Qingzhuo nodded, put on the helmet, and sat behind him. “Where are we going?”

Jiang Ji didn’t reply, just reminded him, “Hold on tight.”

Qin Qingzhuo’s hands, supporting Jiang Ji’s waist, gradually moved forward until they encircled his waist. Resting on Jiang Ji’s back, Qin Qingzhuo tightened his grip, and only then did Jiang Ji twist the throttle, propelling the motorcycle forward amid the roar of the engine.

Twenty minutes later, the motorcycle stopped in front of Qin Qingzhuo’s house. Jiang Ji turned off the engine. “Go inside and get the car keys.”

Qin Qingzhuo took off his helmet, dismounted, and walked toward the steps. After taking a few steps, he stopped.

“Jiang Ji,” he turned around to look at Jiang Ji, “I don’t regret letting you record your fingerprints.”

These words had been stuck in his chest for a long time, and now, he finally felt a bit relieved after uttering them.

However, Jiang Ji had no particular reaction, just a faint acknowledgement, “Hmm.”

“Shall we go in together?” Qin Qingzhuo asked again, his voice lowered this time.

“I’ll lock the bike,” Jiang Ji bent down to lock the motorcycle without looking at him, “You go get it.”

After standing still for a few seconds, Qin Qingzhuo turned around again and walked alone towards the steps.

After retrieving the car keys from inside, the two got into the car.

As the car hit the road, no one spoke for a long time.

In the quiet car without music, only the low hum of the engine could be heard.

The neon lights along the road gradually became sparse, disappearing from view until the car entered the outskirts. Observing the familiar scenes on both sides of the road, Qin Qingzhuo vaguely knew where Jiang Ji was taking him.

It was at this moment that Jiang Ji spoke, “Is this road familiar?”

Qin Qingzhuo replied with a quiet “Hmm.”

He was undoubtedly familiar with it. Not only had he been here many times himself, but he had also taken Jiang Ji on this road when they went to the music festival to relax.

However, he didn’t understand why Jiang Ji brought him here now. It was a little past four in the morning, and there was no way the music festival would be starting at this time. If they were here to watch the sunrise or sunset, a little after four in the morning wouldn’t be the right time.

The road was dimly lit with few streetlights, and in the distance, it looked pitch black. There was none of the open, expansive feeling he had when watching the sunset that day.

Being in the midst of it all, it even gave rise to a kind of confusion, a sense of not knowing where the end was, making it impossible to talk about relaxation.

“Why did you bring me down this road?” Qin Qingzhuo asked.

“To bring you here for a love pact,” Jiang Ji drove, keeping his eyes on the road ahead, “is that not okay?”

After driving for a while, Qin Qingzhuo softly said, “That’s fine too.”

Both of them fell silent for a while. Then Jiang Ji asked, “Feeling sleepy?”

Qin Qingzhuo shook his head.

“Then let’s chat for a while,” Jiang Ji said, “there’s still quite a way to go.”

“What should we talk about?”

“Anything,” Jiang Ji paused, then added, “If you really don’t know what to talk about, then forget it.”

He sounded somewhat indifferent, and Qin Qingzhuo remained silent for a while.

He was thinking that a few days ago, he and Jiang Ji would never have had such a conversation. Jiang Ji always went along with him, and every word could be heard how much Jiang Ji liked him. But now, because of his own retreat and avoidance, this relationship had inevitably deteriorated.

Leaning back in his seat, Qin Qingzhuo stared at the dim road ahead, feeling a slight sense of desolation welling up inside him.

“Then let’s talk about me,” Qin Qingzhuo said, “Are you still willing to listen?”

Jiang Ji glanced at him.

In fact, he was somewhat surprised. He hadn’t expected Qin Qingzhuo to initiate a conversation about himself.

“If you’re willing to talk, I’m willing to listen,” Jiang Ji said.

Qin Qingzhuo leaned back in his seat, his voice slightly absent-minded as he said, “Where should I start from…”

He had experienced so much, with the accident as a turning point, experiencing a near-death experience, as if he had lived two lifetimes in that span.

“About the past, the media has reported it extensively, and there’s not much to tell. Let me tell you something they don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever told you when I got this illness.”

“Was it from that concert four years ago?” Jiang Ji asked, “Or earlier?”

“The symptoms started half a year before that concert,” Qin Qingzhuo said. This past was something he was unwilling to recall, and he had never told anyone about it. Just speaking about it now made him feel extremely uncomfortable in his chest. Nevertheless, he continued speaking slowly, “I often had tinnitus and felt like my ears were blocked. When I breathed or swallowed, I could hear airflow in my ears.”

“At the time, we were on a national tour, and the schedule arranged by the company was too tight. With almost one or two days between each show, and after singing more than thirty shows in a row, I initially thought I was just tired and not feeling well, so I didn’t pay much attention to it. Besides, all the tickets for the concert had been sold in advance. I couldn’t just cancel the plan because of this situation and disappoint the fans, so I insisted on completing the remaining concerts in a few cities.”

“Towards the end, my condition became a bit worse. Sometimes, I couldn’t hear the sound monitor, couldn’t keep up with the rhythm, and couldn’t hear the pitch clearly. I went to the local hospital on the tour, but the doctors were inexperienced. Eustachian tube dysfunction was not a common condition, so at first, it was just treated as ordinary tinnitus. Taking medication didn’t help…”

Qin Qingzhuo remembered that his “reputation” had started to decline from that time onwards.

He truly realized this when he opened his own page and saw a fan’s comment.

He still remembered every word of that comment— “I’ve been following every concert of yours for the past six years, flying with you to every city. Witnessing you gradually getting better used to be the happiest thing for me. But in the recent few concerts, I’ve been a bit disappointed. Every time, I hold onto the hope that you’ll return to your best condition, but each time, that hope is dashed. I won’t be going to the next tour. Let this fondness linger in a somewhat beautiful moment. Grateful for the encounter [heart].”

Compared to later comments on the internet that were more vehement, this comment was actually very gentle and appropriate. However, for some reason, Qin Qingzhuo remembered it for a long time, and whenever he thought of it later, he felt a bit sad.

After that comment, Qin Qingzhuo saw many similar comments one after another.

The wording varied from subtle to intense, but the meaning was almost the same, expressing disappointment in Qin Qingzhuo.

The media also began tirelessly reporting on his frequent mistakes during concert performances. Despite Qin Qingzhuo’s high praise from the media and music critics for his numerous Golden Melody Awards since his debut, his reputation began to decline from that time onwards.

At the age of twenty-five that year, Qin Qingzhuo had lived an extremely “luxurious” life for most of his twenty-five years—not in terms of living standards but because fate had endowed him with too many possibilities.

Without taking the college entrance exam, he was admitted to the Central Conservatory of Music. In his freshman year, he was personally chosen by Cao Xiuyuan and sang the OST for the award-winning movie “Thirteen Days.”

After that, he skyrocketed to fame, easily attracting the attention of the media and the love of fans.

Opportunities that others longed for but couldn’t obtain were easily discarded by Qin Qingzhuo. If he didn’t like acting in movies, he could easily refuse audition opportunities from top directors. After all, Hanyang would hire the best producers to make his first album.

If he found playing the cello too boring and lacking creativity, he could switch to pop music. After all, he gained the love of numerous fans and the praise of music critics as soon as he debuted.

Life was meant to be extravagant, and that was Qin Qingzhuo’s consistent way of living before the age of twenty-five.

However, what he didn’t expect was that these things he could easily squander would one day be taken away by fate.

Hearing, singing, the audience’s love, media acclaim, the praise of music critics, a smooth-sailing life…

These things he thought belonged to him were just passing through his life for a brief moment.

During that time, Qin Qingzhuo was under immense pressure. He considered stopping the tour halfway, but Hanyang used the contract and a substantial compensation to quell that idea. At that time, due to decision-making mistakes, the company was facing significant financial difficulties and couldn’t afford to refund the remaining tickets for the last few concerts.

Under immense pressure, Qin Qingzhuo started smoking frequently, trying to use nicotine to distract his attention and relax a bit. However, the media captured him a few times, sparking a new round of verbal battles.

“Unable to hear the accompaniment, I could only ask the staff to increase the monitor volume. Unable to hear my own voice, I could only try to sing as loudly as possible. Standing in the waiting area before each concert, it was the most anxious moment for me because I never knew how the concert would go, when tinnitus would strike, when I would suddenly lose hearing, and how long the hearing loss would last…”

“So, in the later concerts, just stepping onto the stage required significant psychological preparation for myself. Singing became terrifying for me. The more I hoped it wouldn’t happen, the more anxious I became. The more anxious I became, the more likely it would happen… So the last few concerts were terrible. Not only did I sing poorly when it happened, but even when it didn’t, due to my poor condition, my singing was also terrible. After returning to Yancheng, I went to Puji for a comprehensive examination, and the Puji expert team studied the results, confirming the diagnosis of Eustachian tube dysfunction.”

Jiang Ji had been attentively listening while driving. At this point, he finally spoke, “If it was that serious, why did you still go ahead with the last concert?”

“Because I had surgery after the tour, and for a while, there were no symptoms. I thought I was lucky and had completely recovered,” Qin Qingzhuo self-deprecatingly chuckled, paused, and added, “Also because… I wanted to regain everything I had lost.”

After saying this, he stared at the road ahead, a little dazed, and remained silent for quite some time.

He was thinking that at that time, he thought he had lost enough, but he didn’t realize that it was just the beginning.